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(A dagger flies out of the wings and stabs into the opposite wall. Appropriately ominous music plays. There is a note tied to the dagger's handle, and the author's voice in the background reads it.) Dear readers: I am hiding in an undisclosed location for my own safety. The Killer Fish is...

No, my connection was just fine. I just logged off and then a few minutes later decided to log on again, that's all.

Yeah, I was referring to Adam Hunt there. Wild's response to Scooter's e-mail will come in act five, scene one.

Here it is, last part of act four. After this, things are going to start getting a tad creepy...as if they weren't already. Act Four, Scene Four: At the Grosse/Hunt house, Sadie stood in the upstairs hallway in her pajamas and robe, pacing back and forth. "Sadie, it's almost one o'clock...

Heh, heh...I dropped in some fairly obvious hints.

This scene doesn't really have Scooter or the others in it, but it's very important. Bear with me. Act Four, Scene Three: "Louise, what's going on?" Mr. Farley called sleepily in the background. "I…it's nothing, Herbert, I need to go someplace important. I'll be back soon," Mrs. Farley...

Act Four, Scene Two: Around midnight, the call came in. Scooter flew out of bed and made a run for the phone. "Hello?" It was Kermit. "Scooter, there's been a fire at the theater!" "What?" "Yes, it's an actual fire this time, not a smoke bomb. Get down here." "Right, boss." Scooter...

(Little Jerry and the Monotones walk out onto the stage.) Jerry: First we saw act number one, lots of rainy fun… Chrissy: Then came number two, with 'Knight' music too… Richard: Along came act three, a royal sight to see… Jeffy: And here comes yet one more…this act gives us four! Monotones...

Relax, Renee, Scooter doesn't get hurt in act four. Beyond that, I can't tell you.

So? The story I'm working on kinda contradicts Renee's fanfics, but that doesn't seem to be causing any problems, right, Renee? (Act four will come up eventually, I promise.)

The server on my end's a little slow tonight, and I had to finish up an essay for a 300-level French class, but here's scene three. Ever notice that Scooter pretty much never appeared in the 'At the Dance' segments on 'The Muppet Show?' Well, if you wanted to see the gofer take his turn on the...

I've got almost half of the story posted now. It's coming along nicely. I would like to see a spoof on one of the Sherlock Holmes stories. That would be excellent.

Thank you, thank you. You know, the scene with Fozzie, Gonzo and Scooter in the courtyard at Camelot was one of my favorites to write. More madness to come soon, I promise.

Act Three, Scene Two: On the first page of the script, there was this plot summary. At Camelot, things aren't going especially well. Arthur is having a terrible time keeping the Round Table organized, and remembering whether he's supposed to be going off in search of the Holy Grail or in...

Muppet Newsgirl: First, thou shalt open the book of this most amusing show, then shalt thou count to act three. Three shalt be the number, and the number to be counted shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, nor shalt thou count to two, unless thou dost then proceed to three. Five is right...

That's cool, that's cool. I might as well tie up a few loose ends and post the end of act two. Act Two, Scene Four: One week later: Clifford read out the roll. "King Arthur and Queen Guinevere will be played by, respectively, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy." Kermit smiled wanly, as...

I'll see what I can do. The thing is, I've got the acts saved in six different files, and I still need to fill in some stuff on act six. Plus, I tend to edit some stuff as I cut and paste it from the Word documents into the Reply box, so I'd have to go back and edit the original text as well...

This story is proof positive that a certain red-haired, orange-skinned gofer is quite a heartthrob. If this has always been the case, I wonder if the other Muppeteers got jealous of Richard Hunt from time to time. Act Two, Scene Three: Nora opened the script and scanned through it...

*chokes* Ack! Renee, I think you just broke a rib. Would that all my writing could receive an equally enthusiastic response (sure, I got a 100 on my all-essays English lit midterm, but that's another matter). Yes, there is more coming up quite soon.

You hate prequels, do you? For some, strange, peculiar and perverted reason, George Lucas seems to love them.