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One that Beau mentioned above, but I redid: this

You're welcome!

Assuming you have the right equipment, it's easy to do; there's two sets of instructions here, and I've tested both. Oh, and question: Does anyone have the Gills Brothers singing "Go Tell Anchovy"? Thanks. :)

Beau, there's more cheeseballs inside, now come back in. (waits) (to Ernie) I'll bring you out some loose Jello later. (dashes back in)

Oh, stop your crying. (puts arm around hers)

Oh... alright. I guess I'll just have to eat with one hand. (attempts to cut ham with one hand) Um... Ms. Bear? If you'd remove your arm for a second here.

Actually, I'd like to say something. (clears throat) I've warmed up to you. Not necessarily your manners or way of life, but just you. But would you not grab my arm again?

Hey, it'll be alright. Good luck, pal. PS: I also hate needles, so you're not alone.

I've got another good one: Murphy walks into a bar, goes up to the bartender, and begins to place an order. He said, "I'll have five boilermakers; ten pints of Guinness; four whiskey-and-waters; three shots of straight rum; and two glasses of Absolut Citron." The bartender obliges, and soon...

"Baby Senior Boomers"? Good Jesus, what are you implying, girl? ... Oh, hi Lisa, how's the day going?

Here's "Let Him Run Wild" from the Beach Boys: When I watched you walk with him Tears filled my eyes And when I heard you talk with him I couldn't stand his lies And now before he tries it I hope you realize it Let him run wild He don't care Let him run wild He'll find out Let him...

*enters* Harry, get outta here, there's a new shipment of dynamite down at the store. CH: Did you say dynamite? (BANG) Oh, come on... (grabs Harry and throws him out) So Gardy, what's on the tube?

Hey, I forgot to report yesterday's weather, so here it is: Weather: HOT. HUMID. Need I say more? Breakfast: Toast, baguette, iced tea Lunch: Chicken Supper: Pizza

I thought it was OK, but it had its weak points. Also, it provided Rob Schneider with his one and only marginally funny role in any movie. :)

Hey Matt, great to have you back!

An epitaph on a tombstone reads: "As I am now, soon you will be. So be prepared to follow me." Someone scribbled another message below that: "To follow you, I'm quite content; but I'm danged if I know which way you went."

No, he gave it to Gene Kelly! :)

(Sam turns and sees Pepe, then makes his trademark wide-eyed-open-mouth expression) WHAT? Why, that little shrimp! (goes over to window and hits it really hard) There. That ought to take care of him!

Here's three: A man entered a mental hospital, wanting to do a little research on the way the mentally ill lived. He went into a common room, approached a man sitting in the corner of the room and said, "Hi, I'm Adam. What's your name?" The man answered, "I am Napoleon!" Adam said, "Now who...

I was once out in a golf game with two guys I didn't know. It was a water hole. One guy hit his ball, and it proceeded to ricochet off a rock on the other side of the lake, come back and land exactly on the tee he started out with. But yours is neater. :)