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That almost sounds like something Marvin the Martian would use to blow up the earth. If his Illudium-pew 36 explosive space modulator ever got confiscated by NASA, your pax 3 weed vaporizor/oven mitt will do just fine. Happy vapor trails.8)

The three taboo subjects on any forum: Religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin

Last time I saw him, he just turned 80. I'm not saying he's at death's door right now, but with each passing year things get a little harder. Just like anything else in life, if an opportunity comes your way, grab it with both hands. You might never get another chance.

Cool. Besides Carroll Spinney, Bob is one of the nicest guys ever. Not that I'm a stalker, but it almost seems possible one can stop by his house and he'd invite you in. He's been living in Teaneck, NJ for the last 50+ years. The same Bob you see on screen, same deal in real life. I always...

Are you and your fellow Trio members still gearing up for this big to-do on April 14? Or did it fall by the wayside? Ticket sales have been sluggish. Ringside seats going for deep discounts.

When I just saw the name Chris Sabat, that blew my mind! I knew a Chris Sabat since 2nd grade. Unfortunately, not the same guy. The Chris Sabat I knew was a bully, He was a punk, always getting in trouble in school, got expelled, joined the Army, got kicked out of the Army, and last we heard...

If it's a late night talk show, I'll lead your house band. Then during your monologue we can exchange banter, I can roll my eyes and say, "You go, salty white guy!" We'll kill'em in Sweeps.

George (so proud of himself): "Gore-tex!" Others had material envy.

Eating a whole box of Special K would probably clean out your plumbing.

I do say. In fact, I do say "I do say". What do you say to that?

Ever try turkey bacon? Tastes good with a fraction of the salt and fat.

The big challenge is to eat the cereal before it gets soggy. Captain Crunch wins out over bran flakes.

The last thing you want to do is cop (no pun intended) an attitude when dealing with police. If the kid backed off a little (though the cop can afford to do so too) the cop might've given him a break and given his skateboard back. Maybe he'd be let go with a warning. But once you get in a cop's...

Once upon a time those Buddy Holly frames were quintessential Nerd-o-rama. Never thought they would be hip. I always gravitated to rimless games, or "granny glasses"-check out any picture of Roger McGuinn from the 1965 Byrd's. For years I had round John Lennon frames too. And on more than one...

May also cause simultaneous constipation and diarrhea.

Did Sir Topham Hat ever take some fine young lady and nail her in the caboose? Did she ride piggyback? Did they listen to Boxcar Willie? Did he use his locomotive breath? Or was he tender? 8) Tanks for entertaining this question. I'm not Pullman your leg. 8)

You need to get oot and aboot more often, eh? Cue 80's cassette: Shoot, shoot, let it on oot These are the things I can do withoot Come on! I'm talking to you. Come on!

Kids can be cruel. Kids can be stupid. Kids should know better. But they think something as moronic as that will get a few thousand hits on YouTube, so who cares. And to a large degree, because of social media, and YouTube, many people don't have any value on life. So they think making an...

After they wrapped it in foil, they stick a nice bow on it and the job is done. I hate wrapping presents too, and this will save you a lot of grief. No paper cuts either! 8)

Wanna make it easier for yourself? Wrap the gifts in aluminum foil. No scissors or tape needed. Can be recycled. Looks like fancy paper. And the receiver of the gift will never know the difference.