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Father: *steps out of the front door of Nell's house, without stepping on the lawn, and leaves hurriedly* Well...that couldn't have been more un-comfortable...*glances over shoulder and walks into garden gate* I rephrase...

Father: Vibs! *sharply* You shouldn't say the word 'dump' it hurts people's feelings. *to Nell* Now, listen, if you need me to pay for fingerprint removal from sticky cupboard doors I will...er...probably be able to find my wallet.

Frank, you are amazing. I love his honesty and up-frontness. I'll be seeing Death at a Funeral in the cinema if it comes out near me.

Hehe. Actually the mystery surounding DanDan's past is such that he has to be included on all the index's. We'll fix up those other suggestions you pointed out though.

Father: *gulp* Nell...hi! Listen, I er, I would never have broken into your house if I had any idea that you were upstairs...Here, let me straighten the statuettes...*makes them less straight*

Father: *catches phone* Hello, Why oh Why D.I.Y. can I do something for you? *covers mouth piece* I think we're actually locked inside this house anyway...And I accidently closed the window while checking the vase on the windowsill for hidden keys, any ideas?

Father: Ahhh...Alkatraz...it's renowned for its mathematics, but poor on Grammar. Well, if no one's calling I may as well get these knots undone...*kneels and works the ropes free* Oh, well, they were only attached to the fire-rug anyway, not the carpet, so you could've gotten up anyway...

Father: I came here to free the fleeting fish foundation? Don't be absurd...Fish don't fleet, they float...And the plural of float is floators, not fleet...honestly, what didn't they teach you at school? What school did you go to again?

Father: Oh I...er...sorry...I think I may have bent one of your fingers back, let me get that for you. *unbends said finger* Honestly, I swear I've forgotten what I came here for...

Father: In a minute. *opens cupboards, checks under the sink, moves pillows off the sofa* Ooh, spare change. *glances out the back window* Erm...it's a good job her guards are guarding the gardening just at the moment, eh? *retuns to search, and steps on Jack's tied down hand*

Father: Thanks. *sits in Nell's comfortable front seat* I wonder if she has any tea in her house...and whether she subscribes to The Times or The Telegraph...*starts rumaging through her bin* I am sorry about all this, Jack, it's just a new experience for me...I confess it's rather enlightening.

Father: You know, while I'm standing here checking out Nell's statuette collection on her mantlepiece, you are doing all my work for me...which works for me, what possible reason do I have for untying you right now? And when were you planning to start paying rent for the use of my study/your...

Father: I wonder if I have any grease on me...I feel the need for lubrication...*pauses* *thinks* *removes a handful of hair-gel from hair and applies it as a slippery surface over self, and then slides over the windowsill and lands on Nell's floor* Oh, nice decor.

Father: --see you. I wish I could, but this curtain is in my face and both hands are rather occupied...if only I knew a professional breaker-and-enterer who could throw some hints at me...sadly the only criminals I know are mariners, and port-holes are so simple for slipping through.

Father: *notices an open window and attempts entrance, resulting in head, shoulders and one leg in the living room while left foot and right hand remain outside and left arm gets tangled in net-curtains* I never was good at Twister...or Battleships...though I could battle with ships...and I'm...

Congratulations RyGuy! Just wait for the exhillerating feeling of hitting 11,111!

Father: *leaves work, stops at Diana's, arrives at Nell's* *rings bell* *taps toes* I wonder how long one is supposed to wait like a civilized person for a neighbor to answer the door before breaking it down and rescuing ones lodgers...

Father: The nice new nearly-neurotic neighbor, not needing nasty nerve-wrecking leprechauns near her? That N-named person?

Father: Fine...Look, I'm going to have to trasfer these callers to your mobile until I get there though. Can you at least answer them for me? *dials 819Diana* Change of plan, I'll pick up the lattes on my way through. *hangs up* Now which neighbours was it again...

Father: May I politely remind you that I'm not the one currantly tied to their neighbour's floor? Yes, that is a veiled threat. *answers another phone* Jello! Jam and Chutney's Limited how can I help you?