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Uh-huh... (shifty eyes) Where's Lefty...he's supposed to be my backup... ----------------------------------------- Lefty, casually leaning against a wall, is chatting with a female audience member. Lefty: ...and it fell off da truck! Ain't dat a pip? And I'll let ya have it fer only...

Okay, I'm getting kinda scared here...um...are you sure Shanker knows how to handle a knife?

(Pops up behind Pepper's chair) Lefty: Dat's what you tink! (disappears again)

Lefty: What was dat? Tony: That would be Claudia. For some reason she thinks you're adorable. Lefty: Well, I am radder charmin'. Tony: Get outta here! Go back to your date! She's been waiting for you! You've been spending half the night scuttling around this place, trying to sell...

Lefty: Hey, whaddaya take me fer, some common teef? What's all dis talk about rippin' ya off? I gave ya dat donut, didn't I? Riiiiiiight. Dem donuts don't grow on trees, ya know! Sheesh! The noive of some people! Ya try ta do 'em a favor, an' dey don't appreciate nothin'!

(Lefty pops up) A nickel? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

stands and applauds. Woooo! Way to go, Alex! Congratulations! (guzzles down some more grape nehi)

(Andy Kaufman voice) Tank you veddy much! (bows) Thank you, thank you, oh please, please! You're much too kind, ladies and germs, much too kind! (sings off-key) Whether I'm riiiiiiiiight....thank you....whether I'm wrong, whether I find a place in this world or never belong, NEVER...

Ooh! I've never had grape nehi before...(takes a swig) Hmmm...quite tasty...you know, this reminds me of... (Tony immediately falls down, totally passed out)

Sure!

Okay, I'll entertain you guys until our Master of Ceremonies returns! (Tony leaps out of his seat) Anyone ever hear of The Elevator Dance? Anyone? No? Okay, get a load of this! The Elevator Dance! (stands still for 30 seconds, without moving a muscle) Get it? It's The Elevator...

(startled) Aargh! I see leprechauns before my eyes! Oh, wait...Alex brought them...got spooked there for a sec!

Shouldn't Jerry Lewis be singing "You'll Never Walk Alone" right now, or something?

Okay...you say so... (takes a handful of popcorn) Mmmmm...quite delish, actually...buttery...you're positive they didn't slip any "magic" in here? I mean, I'm not gonna grow a beak and feathers, am I? I'm not gonna turn into a chipmunk or anything, right? I mean...this stuff is almost too...

Lefty: Fine. Be dat way. I got udder people ta-- (does quadruple take) Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Ya actually gave me a nickel? Dis is one for da books! 'Ere ya go! (hands Pepper a half-eaten donut) Uh....it was like dat when I found it... Lefty scurries away.

Sure, I'll take some magic popcorn, Alex! Um...this isn't going to turn me into a newt or anything, is it?

Hey Alex! You look fantastic! Dr. Van Neuter sure knows his way around fabric. Here, I saved you a seat...which...you're already sitting in. Yes. Um. Well. Er...you're beautiful! (Tony puts a corsage on Alex's wrist) I picked this up for you today. (looks at leprechauns) Um...if...

Lefty pops up behind Mrs. P's chair, and pulls a donut out of his coat. The donut was on the catering table. Lefty: Hey, I hear youse is hungry! Riiiight, riiiight! I'll let ya have dis donut here fer just a nickel! Whaddaya say?

Lefty approaches; to Ernie. Lefty: Hey kid...kid...I got somethin' nice fer ya! (takes a rubber chicken out of his coat) Ya see dis chicken? 'Is name is Mr. Cluckers. Riiiiiiiight. Dis is what youse call a special chicken. Why is he so special, you ask? Well...I'll tell ya...(looks...

Well...the awards have gone off with a great start! (turns in his chair, and looks at Lefty, several rows behind him; shouts) Hey Lefty! Lookin' sharp, my friend! Lefty (shouting back to Tony) Tanks! Ya look pretty swell yerself! Tony: I've never seen you so dressed up before! Lefty...