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Father: Well, yes. It is rather romantic here with the candles...the music...the lights turned low...The flowers...Hey! Wasn't Hank a lizard?

Waiter: *leaves* Father: *moves menus to the side* So...*silence* So...Right...Well...That's food then...Right...well...How are you then? How is Nannying these days...The whole Nanny-thing...going ok then? That?

Father: We're having that, that, and this. With less of that with this, and a little of this sauce with that. Work for you? Waiter: Work for you...no that's my job isn't it... Father: Do you mind?

Father: I'll have...this, this, and that. *pointign at menu* But with less of this with that, please. And a little of that sauce, with this. *smiles* Got it? Waiter: Of course I get it. I always get jokes. I'm very funny in my spare time. Practically a stand-up comedian. *sighs* I'll be back...

Father: Nevermind that... Waiter: Nevermind, yes, nevermind me...Oh, sure I'm just the help, just the bus-boy, the delivery-man...Can I take your order? Father: I was thinking maybe Oysters, for a start...Or Pomegranate Salad? Waiter: Very excellent choice, sir. Father: Ooh, they have...

Waiter: Oh, go right ahead. And why not just eat the shirt off my back while your at it... Father: Well maybe we will! *pauses and thinks about that* Or perhaps not. Look here, we made a reservation, and we're ordering drinks, and we need time to look at the food menu, and we'd certainly...

Father: *clicks fingers* Waiter! Water. Waiter: *sighs* Actually my name is neither Waiter or Water...it's Walter. Not that you are even interested. Father: Well, Walter the waiter, any chance of some water? Waiter: *sigh* I can even offer you a waltz if you want it...or my watch... Father...

RP Waiter: Is that with the salad or the *sigh* very delicious triple-cooked vegetables dripping with flavour and enthusiasm? Father: Er...Mingo, I'm not sure that boiled head would be such a good idea...Maybe we should start with drinks...Some sort of cocktail or...*turns over to the cocktail...

RP Waiter: *with great laboured sarcasm* Oh yes of course the chicken and chocolate related sauce would be on offer, in fact I could just give it to you for free...If we served such a disgusting goumet meal. Now, can I get you any drinks or shall I just stand here sharing witty banter for half...

Father: *opening menu and half chocking* With such nice prices! Excuse me, are you aware that the roasted leg of lamb with butternut squash equates to about half my total food bill for both children and animals...and that includes a Bigfoot and a Yak? RP Waiter: Yes of course, sir. Everything's...

Father: *sits down and notices Mingo still standing* Shall I just... *moves to stand up* RP Waiter: *sighs* Just leave it. I'll get it for you. *pulls chair out for Mingostone* Want me to gift-wrap her presents while I'm at it? Can I sign your name for you? Anything else you want or need me to...

RP Waiter: *deadtone* Love is in fact the very purpose of roses. Father: Mind if I just...*sweeps the roses off the table* Sorry, not a fan of flowers in food... RP Waiter: *ever so long sigh* If you'd prefer them in your drink you should have called ahead, sir...

Ridiculously Posh Waiter: Madame. Sir. Please step this way. *shuffles off towards a table* Father: I'm not falling for such a cheap joke...*doesn't shuffle after him*

Father: * staring at the helium balloons* Well...no, I wouldn't have said Desperate, myself. Maybe just a little bit lonely. What's that? Oh, Despre Tine...Right...*ahem* Shall we? *leading towards door*

I'd freak out if my shoes came to life...

Father: *as the car pulls up outside the St Valen & Tine* Valen and Tine...Tine...I know that should mean something to me, perhaps it's a Fork themed restaurant. *enters to find the place filled with hundreds of heart-shaped balloons and rose-petals* Hmm, no...can't be fork themed, that would...

Oh, oh, and I think the creepy thing is part Hedgehog too :p It may be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. It scared me!

What about the meaning of life being 42? That's pretty out there and random, yet makes a whole deal of sense.

You know what is Random random...The fact this thread changed its random random name!

Father: Oh sure, you can use mine. *removes compact from pocket and hands it to Mingostone* Well...Not mine...just...one I carry about.