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Father Moppet: Well, there is a little inclination but we can sleep horizontally rather than vertically across the tent we are less likely to roll away... if we get 'tired again' or 're-tired', as you put it, bro. *obliviously fiddling with the gold watch* But regarding these cameras, I was...

Father Moppet: I think you may be getting me mixed up with Mr Cole...he has tiny pupils, and some huge ones, but the school nutritional department are getting onto that as we speak.

Father Moppet: Why, Mr Harvey! *holds up a similarly shaped instamatic Polaroid box brownie pinhole camera* Snap. I received a similar package from Management, do you know what it means? Mine contained a film, but I cleaned that out with some kitchen roll...

Father Moppet: *amused* I knew a pirate named Rupert with a wooden leg. I know what you're thinking...what did he call the other one? ...wait...

Father Moppet: You have pirate buddies? *raises eyebrow as if to say, most of my pirate friends were at least 50% enemies* I guess we could do with some sea-shanties by the fire...but just sea-shanties, mind, no sea shandies or sea-shindigs...*to self* Should get more sleeping bags.

Good grief, it's a running gag.

Father Moppet: *got lost at about recipe midpoint* Something about Marshall Graham? Here, have one of these. *hands Logan a "Wilson's Patented 'Smore Where That Came From' Toastable Marshmellow"* Then you just need a toaster, and some oven gloves.

Father Moppet: Just one question actually, quite a serious one...if you are intending to stay, later in the rooms, and here now on the campsite... How do you take your smores? The smore the merrier, that's what I say!

Cut to: Snappy the Alligator: *watching America's Next Top Model, down in the sewer* Man is that Tara Banks fierce! She made me cry in the finale for 2007. Cut back to: Father Moppet: Jack, lad, will you stop jumping around? You nearly took down this tent's entire support system by...

Father Moppet: More milky sugar Ms Midni-...That's strange, I could have sworn she was here just a minute ago. Saucer of milk, kitty kitty?

Father Moppet: *smothering the fire flames with a blanket, clearly finishing a story between coughs* ...and so that is why the tent got fired. *cough* And the reason Donald Trump's assets got frozen up in the mountain last fall. *cough* Or that's what I heard from Ivana anyway. *cougar*

Father Moppet: Now then...there's nothing like a roaring camp fire to get the chill out of your bones. *pause* Probably should have put it outside of the tent though... *coughing through the smoke*

Father Moppet: *hands Isabella a glass of milk, and a cube of sugar* Sorry, we're all out of tea. I tried boiling the kettle on the barbecue...but should have just plugged it in instead. It melted. *to Bob* I think I have one of your traveler's packs in my tent...yes, here, "All You Need to Live...

Jason Segel: Its a Lot Like Taking an Ocean Cruise, Except There's no Boat, and You Don't Actually Go Anywhere.

Father Moppet: *in tent* Isabella! Welcome. There's room over there by the camp bed. Milk? Sugar? Oh, you mean a room in the House? It's being repaired...

Father: From the smell...I think Queen Anne's Revenge is already down here somewhere...*to camera* I am going to need a serious shower after this... Snappy the Alligator: British? Does these snake-skin boots look British to you? *aside* I'm against animal cruelty, but pro fashion. What can I...

Father Moppet: *finally ripping plunger from face with a screech and a plop* I can't quite hear you, there was a plunger on my ear. Something about arresting an alligator? What for exactly? Snappy the Alligator: I should say adverse possession, for one thing, including the wrongful attempt at...

Father Moppet: *hoping the MC Management don't sue-us* *get it?* *sewers?*

Father Moppet: *thinking* This whole sewer/plunger/facial situation reminds me of when Wilson's Facials and Fecals changed their slogan to, 'It's never drains but it pores'.

Father Moppet: *to self, re plunger* Will not be needing a mud pack tonight. *falls into open sewer grate* I spoke too soon!