Monday Post Production

[The Count]

Small quibbles of a word not being present to finish off the idea aside, this was as always a treat to read through. Both the script for the movie itself and the planning on producing it are proceeding perfectly. Love the quips and remarks tossed about like and having problems with a sugar-high

Please, post more when possible.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Small quibbles of a word not being present to finish off the idea aside, this was as always a treat to read through.

Mon senor, please elaborate. Where did I not add a word?

I seriously sat on this for a week and re-read it and I still miss words!! You suck, Word!

 

[The Count]

1 Posted by Long Cool Wopig in a Black Dress:
"I certainly can’t go around accusing him of murder and not come out from a scandal, can I?"

Come out "what" from a scandal?

2 Posted by Transgochormers, Here to Save the Day!:
“Maybe I’m being emotional or overwrought, but I know something than meets the eye is going on."

Something "what" than meets the eye?

3 Posted by Help, Cause I need somebody:
"It was hard to turn her down, after all, I prided myself on being to help people that the police couldn’t."

Being "what" to help people?

4 Posted by Another one rides the bus:
Scooter took his seat next to Piggy within the second row, a placement that had long since decided was theirs due to their proximity to the frog.

A placement that had long since "what" decided? Just doesn't sound right.

Which, as Kris/newsmanfan often says, you need to read your stuff or at least know what it is you're writing to make sure it's all there before posting. Or contact a fiendly moderator should you no longer have that little Edit button at the bottom of your post to modify it yourself.
But like I said, it's coming along and it's quite enjoyable to read, so please, post more when possible.

 

[WebMistressGina]

1 Posted by Long Cool Wopig in a Black Dress:
"I certainly can’t go around accusing him of murder and not come out from a scandal, can I?"

Come out "what" from a scandal?

No, that makes sense. Piggy doesn't want to accuse the Count of murder because it would cause a scandal for her and the Count.

2 Posted by Transgochormers, Here to Save the Day!:
“Maybe I’m being emotional or overwrought, but I know something than meets the eye is going on."

Something "what" than meets the eye?

Grrr. That should be 'more than meets the eye', like you know...a Transformer.

3 Posted by Help, Cause I need somebody:
"It was hard to turn her down, after all, I prided myself on being to help people that the police couldn’t."

Being "what" to help people?

*curses to self* 'being able to help people'

4 Posted by Another one rides the bus:
Scooter took his seat next to Piggy within the second row, a placement that had long since decided was theirs due to their proximity to the frog.

A placement that had long since "what" decided? Just doesn't sound right.

*curses again* 'long since been decided'

Which, as Kris/newsmanfan often says, you need to read your stuff or at least know what it is you're writing to make sure it's all there before posting. Or contact a fiendly moderator should you no longer have that little Edit button at the bottom of your post to modify it yourself.
But like I said, it's coming along and it's quite enjoyable to read, so please, post more when possible.

I seriously swear to you that I read this thing like three times before I posted it, happy in the notion that 'yay, no errors!'

But...this was why I spaced these out, so that I can write them and then not look at them unless I have an idea or I'm a day before posting. But hey...it's only four this time, which means I'm getting better.

Right? Right!?

 

[The Count]

Er, that first one... You're still not getting it, "come out "what?" from a scandal" should be I dunno, "come out badly from a scandal" or "it would look scandalous for me if I accused Count Gonzolo."

And so long as you're using chocolate pudding to write your fics instead of spaghetti sauce, then yes, you're getting better.
Then again, you haven't seen the amount of typos I have to clean in a chapter of KG, both for my hardcopy and the online posted version.

 

[Misskermie]

Wow! I bet Scooter was so honored!

I love the script so far! The script can relate to Miss Piggy's actual emotions, because her father HAS passed away in reality. With that said, I think it was fantastic how you managed to capture that emotion!


I also loved how you ended the chapter.
"Thursday, you meet the director."


Can't wait to see that one. LOL!


More please!

 

[WebMistressGina]

Er, that first one... You're still not getting it, "come out "what?" from a scandal" should be I dunno, "come out badly from a scandal" or "it would look scandalous for me if I accused Count Gonzolo."

No, I maintain that it makes sense, in terms of 1930, 40s speak.

"I certainly can’t go around accusing him of murder and not come out from a scandal, can I?"

Hmmm....would this be better?

"I certainly can’t go around accusing him of murder and not come out of a scandal, can I?"

I guess I could see that, but I keep saying out loud and it still makes sense to me. But then again, I also know she's talking about not creating a scandal for her and her father's businesses if she were to accuse Gonzolo of murdering said father.

Maybe it's the word intact that you're thinking of.

"I certainly can’t go around accusing him of murder and not come out from a scandal intact, can I?"

I guess I could see that too. But I maintain understanding of that line, for the moment, cause who knows. Next week, I could read it and state, it doesn't make sense.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Wow! I bet Scooter was so honored!

Yep and I kinda wanted to relay that cause he really didn't think Kermit would actually like it enough to make a movie out of it.

I love the script so far! The script can relate to Miss Piggy's actual emotions, because her father HAS passed away in reality. With that said, I think it was fantastic how you managed to capture that emotion!

Has he? I mean, I've always been under the impression that her father was dead and that her mother may still be living (I have been toying with that idea).

I've also gotten the sense that Piggy wasn't particularly close to that of her parents; a point that I wanted/hoped to explore in Scooter's story of Grosse Pointe. At some point. Eventually. One day.

I also loved how you ended the chapter.
"Thursday, you meet the director." Can't wait to see that one. LOL!

The next one will be a doozy as we get the reaction of everyone to Scooter's script and finding out Piggy's the director.

Question - everyone seems to be enjoying the script, so I wanted to know if you'd like to see more? To be honest, it's probably just an excuse to rewatch the Thin Man and some Bogey and Bacall movies, but if you'd like a whole chapter full of script goodness (by the way, we also get the name and who the villain is next chap), let me know and I shall arrange it.

You know...I may just pull everything together and make the script an actual story one day. Let me know.

 

[Misskermie]

SCRIPT CHAPTER!!!


The reason I say so, is, well, a script chapter might be a good time flyer.

Y'know, until Thursday.

 

[newsmanfan]

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Likes: the whole Muppet Film Noir idea, and the obvious paraphrasing of "The Maltese Falcon" you're doing.

Classic!

Exactly. Your casting thus far is excellent too, as is the whole idea of Scooter being the author, Piggy directing, and Kermit directing them sneakily from behind...

Love how you're gently treading over the whole frog/pig makeup-relationship thing. Well done and believable.

Love some of the dialogue, particularly in the screenplay!

However... why present the "script" sections as a novel? Why not write it HERE as a screenplay? Once Kermit's V/O for the beginning is done, the action ought to shift to dialogue interspersed with stage directions, no? Would be fun to read it just as our heroes are doing!

Agree with Ed about small lapses in sentences. But the one mistake you do keep making which utterly drives me up the wall is your use of the completely unnecessary and irrelevant phrase "that of." I want you to go through each post and CUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, or I will send Crazy Harry to eliminate them!

With pleasure! Hee hee hee hee!

Okay. That's all. One-adam-twelve, see the script, corner of Hollywood and Frog...
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