Happy Sunday people!
Here we are in chapter 4. We've heard the story on how the frog met the dog, how the dog and frog met the bear, and how the bear and frog met the pig and the whatever. Now it's time to met the dog and set up what will eventually be the Muppet Show.
Chapter IV: A Meeting at Schotsky’s
Despite eagerly wanting to know about this ‘before time’ special he had somehow stumbled upon, Scooter had to switch from eager child wanting a story to stage manager and Muppet handler for the Muppet Theatre and show. The younger Muppet would be lying if he said the whole story about a never talked about bar didn’t intrigue him – especially now when he was old enough to enter said bar – because of course it did.
He was always interested in what the others had done before they had all come together to form this wild and crazy family of theirs. For Scooter, the kid who lucked out in being a part of all this, learning that Kermit had been a big name even before Sesame Street was cool; that Rowlf had been a TV star with the guy who sold those tasty sausages was cool; that Gonzo really was a plumber (and not just saying it for the fun of getting into small, dark spaces) was cool; that Fozzie had been a standup comic long before he met Kermit was cool; and of course, knowing a former beauty queen in Miss Piggy was just cool.
Unfortunately, his job as the stage manager and overall assistant to the big boss had stopped further inquiries to this Schotsky’s place and the most important of whether he could go with them the next time. On the docket for this weekend’s show were several acts that had been featured before – Vet’s Hospital usually never took their chance to rehearsal, even when it would probably do them good if they did; the Swedish Chef had stated (they thought) that if he rehearsed, he would have to do it with preparing anything because his dish was time sensitive.
The Electric Mayhem had jumped at the chance of playing, as they always did when they were the musical feature on the show. This weekend they had gotten actress and singer Zooey Deschanel and the band – and Rowlf – had been monopolizing her time on several different projects and interpretations that it was pretty much shaping up to be a good show.
Gonzo and Fozzie of course had their normal routines, though after learning about their favorite bar, Scooter noticed they seemed to be putting their heads together and planning something. There were certain pairings on the show that were usually never a good idea and putting Gonzo and Fozzie was one of those bad idea pairings.
So far, as dress rehearsals went, things were going…as to be expected. Which was to say that things were as crazy as they could be.
An actual lull in the zaniness allowed Scooter to saddle up next to Rowlf as he waited his turn on stage. Rowlf was a feature in that week’s show, as he was not only working with Zooey, but he also had a piece with Piggy, not to mention his role as Dr. Bob on Vet’s Hospital. “Things are going as expected,” the dog commented when he noticed the stage manager next to him.
“Which usually means so far, so good,” Scooter quipped. It often seemed as though Rowlf took the unofficial role of gatekeeper when it looked as though Kermit’s sanity was hanging on by a thread and when Scooter had been sucked up in the madness of the cast. The brown dog was generally unaffected by the weirdness that went around him on a weekly basis and even when he was adding to it, he seemed to do so with a calm serenity.
“I’m guessing you’re hanging around because you want to hear more about Schotsky’s.”
“What?” Scooter began, feigning ignorance and surprise. That was of course what he was hoping for, but he wasn’t going to tell Rowlf that. “Why would you…? Okay, that’s actually why I’m here. And because I can view the insanity from a safer place form over here.”
Rowlf chuckled. He’d always admired the kid’s learning spirit; Scooter had proved he could be and was more than just the theatre owner’s nephew and sometime patsy and spy. Truthfully, talking about meeting the others was making him remember when he had met Dr. Teeth and Floyd, Janice, and Scooter himself. “Ask away, kid.”
“So,” the assistant began. “I knew you and Kermit had known each other for a while and obviously you and Fozzie, and Piggy, and Gonzo are like the founding members of the Muppets and all…”
“Uh huh.”
“But how did you end up meeting Gonzo and Piggy?” Scooter asked, finally. “And how did you come up with the idea for the Muppet Show? Or even the script for the movie? And…”
“Hey, slow down there, Red,” Rowlf chuckled. “One question at a time, alright? So you remember how Gonzo may have embellished parts of that story of his?”
“That seems like a distinct possibility.”
“Well,” the dog continued. “Kermit really did need to get back and Gonzo and Piggy really were quite adamant on tagging along. So after like a week of being gone and coming back, those four end up back in Hollywood and Kermit ends up back on Sesame Street…”
The Past
Rowlf always looked forward to heading over to Schotsky’s, picking up a beer, and having a chat with his good friend, Kermit. Meeting the comic bear Fozzie was like an added bonus; he liked Fozzie. The guy was funny when he didn’t think too much about trying to be funny and watching him and Kermit together was like watching the formation of a great comedy team.
This night, Rowlf was waiting patiently for the two to show up and hopefully bring the two tagalongs they had picked up while they were supposed to be driving to meet the parents. He hadn’t gotten much from Kermit, only that they had literally run into this guy named Gonzo and that a local Iowa beauty queen had decided she wanted to come to Hollywood, too. He could tell through the phone that the frog was a little annoyed at the prospects of virtual stowaways, but obviously the duo held some sway or else the frog wouldn’t have let them come along.
Rowlf had already snagged their regular table and was just about to get up and order their drinks when he saw his party walk through the door. First through was that of an attractive lady pig with big blue eyes and long blonde hair that hung about her shoulders. Her very entrance signaled ‘movie star’ though the dog was sure he’d remember her if he’d ever seen her in anything; next up was the frog, who looked for all the world like he wasn’t with the pig who just entered.
That idea didn’t last long, as one green flipper was placed on the small of her back once he spotted the dog at the table. “That’s interesting,” he muttered to himself, watching as Flirtatious and Indifferent made their way towards them. Behind them were Fozzie and a weird blue furry thing he assumed was Gonzo. The bear must’ve said something funny because Gonzo started laughing loudly, patting him on the back and smiling.
“Another cheerleader,” Rowlf smirked. Standing quickly, he nodded to Kermit, shaking the flipper that was offered to him. “Bout time you got here,” he joked. “The newsie boys have been eyeing this table ever since I got here.”
The newsies were a group of local anchormen from the station a few blocks over who coveted the sacred table that Kermit and Rowlf claimed nearly every week. The dog had no idea why they were so obsessed with it – it was just the typical round table that was located in triplicate throughout the bar – but it seemed like the trio had to fend them off every time they sat.
“What is their problem?” Kermit groused, sending an annoyed look towards the newsies, who were more than happy to glare back.
“Who’re the newsies?” asked Gonzo.
“The local anchors from up the street,” Rowlf replied. “They’ve been gunning for our table for weeks now. I’m starting to think they’re just messing with us.”
“You’re having an issue with the local news station?” Piggy asked, skeptically.
“Hey, I don’t get it either,” the dog shrugged. “But if you want, Princess, how bout you go over there and get them off our backs? Put your best assets forward, as it were.”
Raising an eyebrow at the obvious backhanded compliment, Piggy leaned on the table slightly, making sure Rowlf was well aware of where her ‘assets’ were. “Believe me, Pup,” she retorted. “I could have those guys eating out of my hands if I wanted to.”
“You could have me eating out of your hands if you want to,” Gonzo leered.
Without taking her striking baby blues from the dog, Piggy reached up, grabbed Gonzo by the nose, and pushed him back, stating, “Personal space” as she did so.
“Please let’s not have a repeat of breakfast,” Kermit announced, pulling out a chair and sitting down. “There’s so many places I want to be asked to leave and Schotsky’s is not one of them.”
“Hold up there, Frog,” Rowlf replied, pointing at the frog. “We still have a matter of who’s buying drinks. Alright kids, ante up.” Looking pointedly at Piggy, he said, “You too, Princess.”
“Excuse me?” Piggy asked, looking at the dog. “I’m not buying you drinks. I am a lady.”
“You weren’t such a lady when you wolfed down my sandwich earlier,” muttered Fozzie.
“What?”
“Nothing!”
“Come on, Piggy,” Kermit pleaded. “It’s tradition; we do this every week. And we all pitch in for drinks, right?”
“Now hold on, Kermit,” Rowlf intervened. “Your lady friend has a point. She shouldn’t have to pay up.”
“Thank you.”
“I mean,” the dog chuckled. “It’s not like she came out here to play with the big boys or anything. You did say she was a beauty queen; can’t have her ruin her image, you know? So you just sit tight, Princess. Let the big boys take care of things.”
Blue eyes narrowed. If there was one thing Piggy hated it was to be seen as a silly little girl; and while she could play the part to the hilt, she was the one to call when and where she did it. Standing, she shouldered her way in the manly Muppety circle that had been formed. “Move over.”
One secret and overly complicated elimination round later, Rowlf had been saddled with buying drinks, however in this case he wasn’t as disappointed in that as he usually was. He had of course completely ignored Miss Piggy’s request for some girly little drink he didn’t think he had ever heard of and instead got everyone a beer, nodding to Rocky the bartender in thanks. Five drinks were placed in front of five very different Muppets who had just managed to meet each other in the most oddest of situations.
“Rowlf,” Piggy complained, looking at the dark brown bottle that was placed in front of her. “I asked for a Cosmo.”
“And I got you a beer.”
“But I didn’t want a beer,” she protested.
“That’s too bad cause that’s what you’re drinking.”
“And if I refuse?”
“Then someone at this table doesn’t get any more beer,” the dog replied. “Now shut up and drink your beer. Look, I even had them remove the bottle cap for you.”
“How gallant,” she said, sarcastically.
“We should do a toast,” Fozzie piped up.
“To what?” Kermit asked.
“To this!” he exclaimed “To us! To this moment right here!”
“To making it back in two days without killing each other,” Rowlf joked.
“Oh there was a fifth guy,” Piggy said, nonchalantly. “But he didn’t make it.”
“Don’t suppose you had anything to do with that,” Rowlf said.
“Me?” Piggy asked, batting her eyes. “I’m such a gentle person.”
“I doubt that.”
“Bite me.”
“Don’t tempt me,” the dog chuckled, giving her a sly wink.
“To old friends who’ve just met!”
The other four turned to look at the weirdo, who chuckled nervously when he felt their eyes on them. “What?” he asked, tentatively.
“Is that a song lyric?” Piggy asked.
“No,” Gonzo said, swallowing hard. “I just…I just made it up, just now.”
“Well, it should be,” Rowlf replied. “A lyric, I mean. Pretty good lyric.”
Gonzo smirked at that. “I’m no songwriter,” he said. “Besides isn’t that your job? Aren’t you like a pianist or something?”
“I like it,” Kermit whispered, thinking the idea over. Wasn’t that what they were? Despite all the ways in which they had apparently been trying to drive him insane, they certainly get along well…well, aside from Gonzo and Piggy, but even that he wasn’t sure was pure malice. “It’s perfect.”
Raising his bottle, he stated, “To old friends who’ve just met.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Rowlf whispered, raising his bottle with others and clinking them together.
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