I finally got around to reading this one and wanted to make a few comments. I mostly enjoyed the overall storyline and I thought that some of your dialogue was very good.
Huzzah! I'm always quite happy when you get a change to read one of my fics and the fact that you take time out to do so (and that goes for the rest of you) is tre magnifique!
While I enjoyed the story that you told (once I pushed myself into the whole "altered reality" thing), and there were things that you did well with all of the characters, there were some things about your characterizations that I wanted to mention. Let me say here—and later—and everywhere that I am very opinionated and bossy and hope I own it (my bossiness!) but that I am NOT trying to tell you how to write or what to write. I just wanted to point out some things for you to think about because I am happy to see that you are continuing to write more stories. (I’m getting to them, truly. I have two more papers to write and then I’ve done with my semester.) If you don’t agree with my assessments, tell me to jump in the creek, okay?
I am prepared, madam. Let the games begin!
I agree with you that Gonzo was a bit of a lecher, but he was not quite the touchy-feely creep that you portray him to be here. He's more of a harmless opportunist. More disturbing than his casual groping of Piggy at every turn, however, was the very casual way that ALL of the men in the story ignore Gonzo’s inappropriateness and leave Piggy to fend for herself. It's not that she's not capable--it's simply that, despite pulling out her chair, opening her car door, etc., they don't insist that one of their own treat her with respect. A flirting insinuation or even an outright pass, Piggy could (and did) handle, but the repeated touching bothered me a little. (In my opinion—and in my hometown—if you touch a lady who has asked you to stop, somebody’s going to clean your clock—and I don’t mean with Windex.)
Gonzo touched her once - when they had just returned from New York (K&P) and Gonzo tried to put his hand on her leg; he quickly learned not to do that again. No one was ignoring it, especially not Kermit. He called Gonzo out on it -
Chap 5 -
“Can’t you control your libido for five minutes?” Kermit chastised.
Gonzo may have flirted, but he knows where his boundaries are, especially with Piggy; he may toe the line, but that's about it. It Happen on Monday, I think, explains their relationship much better as frienemies; it was Gonzo's conversation with Kermit in Monday Dinner Date that ultimately caused IHM to happen.
Fozzie was really pretty good, but in The Muppet Movie, Fozzie might be insecure about his talent and popularity, but he does not question his importance as Kermit's friend, not even when Miss Piggy arrives on the scene. In fact, when Piggy is shamelessly praising Kermit's leadership (perhaps that should be, when Kermit scripts Piggy to shamelessly praise him!), Fozzie stands up for himself. "Say 'The bear was magnificent,' he mumbles, but he is fighting for his share of praise--not his share of Kermit's attention.
I was running with the idea that the movie was a Hollywood retelling, ie - some of it happened, but most of it was thrown in for action and adventure. You'll notice that I didn't add Piggy's praising to this (cause I'm not sure that actually happened and as you pointed it, could be something that Kermit threw in).
As a plot device, I think it was interesting, but I hope to see Fozzie and Piggy reach a more sincere level of friendship in your later stories.
You'll definitely want to check out The Great Beartender then, as it's a Piggy/Fozzie feature.
The Monday Series - It Happened on Monday, I think is a good representation of the fact that Fozzie and Piggy are friends, even if they don't outwardly show it (due in part to Frank Oz being both people); there is a moment towards the end that Fozzie rebels against this notion that he'll side with Kermit in an argument every time, when he's equally loyal to just about everyone.
While Miss Piggy was beautiful, brave and determined to win her frog, she had a very unenviable part to play. The frog she loves (and who is obviously interested in her—she’s not blind nor crazy or imagining it) is diffident to a fault, vacillating between trying to palm her off on his lecherous friend and being mad at her for receiving attention from the lecherous friend. His “No, I don’t like her like that” rejection smacks of high school, and we never saw Kermit be indifferent to Miss Piggy until Jim passed away. Kermit could hold his own against her tantrums, her flirting with other stars and her repeated demands that he move faster on the relationship front, but I never thought him indifferent to her. He finally objects because she flirts with JP, but it seemed to me to be more about the fact that Piggy was sealing the deal with the theater instead of Kermit, not that he was genuinely caring about whether or not she was “demeaned.” He certainly didn’t mind when Rowlf was belittling to her, or Fozzie whined about her, or Gonzo made pass after pass at her, touching her inappropriately more than once in his presence. As a gentleman and a frog, he should have told Gonzo to back off—if only out of courtesy.
I must, I must disagree.
Oh calm down, I'm sure she wouldn't hurt me. Would you?
Kermit could be very indifferent to her during the show run, usually giving her want she wanted in exasperation or pain of death. His behavior may have been high school-ish, but I was also trying to write from the prospective of a guy (which I am not. I know, I've checked) and they really don't mature until they're, you know, 40. So, yes I could see Kermit being all, "I don't like her! Shut up!" with Gonzo, but also a little annoyed that Gonzo also has an interest in her.
Throughout the Muppet Show, I never saw Kermit be all that lovey dovey to her, only on the occassion when someone else was paying attention to her; it was only in the movies that he seemed to show any genuine feelings for her.
And speaking of Gonzo, again, I actually did omit the scene that would have led into that first sketch of TMS; the one with the Muppet Glee Club singing "Temptation", that was supposed to be a bet between Piggy and Gonzo, which would ultimately show that Gonzo was pretty much trying to help Piggy get Kermit's attention.
I noticed that you had Kermit whispering a lot and wondered about that. Was there a reason he was whispering to his friends when they were all talking normally? I didn’t quite get that, and I was sort of amused that he was so grumpy all the time, even on the road with Fozzie. He seemed to live in a perpetual state of unhappiness that everyone around him felt compelled to appease. I agree that everyone is protective of him, but he’s not a continual pain in the fanny. He’s acerbic, not crabby; demanding, but not unresonable; snarky at time, but not mean.
Um...throw me a bone on this, as I don't remember that.
If you mean that I had Kermit whispering to
himself, then yes. I was trying to bring back snarky, sarcastic Kermit, who seems to have mellowed (as he should!) through the years.
My thought was that initially Kermit started on this journey for himself and ended up becoming the reluctant leader of a band of wackos, to be blunt and honest. By themselves, they are pretty fine (well, maybe not Gonzo), but together, they are just a straight jacket away from being certifiably crazy.
It wasn't that he was unhappy, it was that plans he had made seemed to be turned upside down when these guys came along. It's the straight man's lament, almost; where if he was just away from these crazy people, the world would be sane again.
But as we've noticed, Kermit might want sanity, but he's quite happy on the USS Insanity.
You write well, Gina, and I hope you’ll do more of it. Take what I said with a grain of salt if it’s not useful…
Best wishes,
Ru
I always taken concrit was being helpful, so no worries.
Again, I'm pleased and honored that you'd read all the crazy ideas that I seem to dump on all of you, so the pleasure is always mine.
The one downside I always have is that what I see in my head is not always what you all see in your heads when you read; so when I have an idea that I think makes sense, it might not make any sense to you, the reader, so I'm always happy when someone sees something that I didn't or that my mind went with without telling me.
Hopefully you'll get around to reading the Monday series, which I think takes a much closer look at the relationships that surround the pig and frog and what I hope will answer some of the questions/concerns you had about Gonzo and Fozzie.
Glad you read it and glad you enjoyed it!!