Eight Ball Rhumba

[The Count]

Hmm... To tell ya, it's kind of sketchy at best. Yes, Kermit's a southern frog from the swamps near WDW and Piggy's a country pig with that sense of bigtime star in her baby blues, and Gonzo's from wherever he came from. But Fozzie and Scooter? That's tougher to answer. Guess we identify Scooter as the city smart kid type and Fozzie as the best friend to the main frog. That's pretty much it, open to fanfic interpretation.

Good chapter, though I'd prefer blank or dashed brakes instead of the smilies. That's just me. Keep posting, your story's definitely going somewhere, we're just coming along for the ride.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Hmm... To tell ya, it's kind of sketchy at best. Yes, Kermit's a southern frog from the swamps near WDW and Piggy's a country pig with that sense of bigtime star in her baby blues, and Gonzo's from wherever he came from. But Fozzie and Scooter? That's tougher to answer. Guess we identify Scooter as the city smart kid type and Fozzie as the best friend to the main frog. That's pretty much it, open to fanfic interpretation.

Okey dokie. For some reason, I see Fozzie as a small town boy, maybe cause he's all optimistic and a little naive; Piggy's shown she's got street smarts, even if she is born and bred country.

Good chapter, though I'd prefer blank or dashed brakes instead of the smilies. That's just me. Keep posting, your story's definitely going somewhere, we're just coming along for the ride.

Normally I use the horizontal rule, but the boards do not haves them What I might do is keep the smilies for the fun fics and use the big ole adult dashes or what nots for the more serious outings.

Just started chapter 6, so stay tuned for the surprise ending of the Fozzie v Teeth match, the next sketch, a dash of jealousy, and a sprinkle of Hogthrob. All on Eight Ball Rhumba!

 

[WebMistressGina]

Hi-ho everyone!

So I was on a crazy roll yesterday, by not only finishing chapter 6, but getting knee deep into chapter 7 as well. I wanna get as much done before my trip in May, which will hopefully signal my happy return to Denver! So without further ado!

Chapter VI​

Against all the odds in the world – and that of Rizzo’s usually remarkable odds at casting the right winner – Fozzie had ended up beating Dr. Teeth in order to advance to the second round and put him against first round winner Andy Schweeb. The next match was that of the second doubles match, which would see the winner meet with Piggy and Rowlf in the second round.

As the second of the doubles matches went on stage – that of Chris and Janey taking on Sgt. Floyd Pepper and Janice of the Electric Mayhem – a small tiff was working its way to a full head of steam backstage.

“What do you mean you want Pigs in Space?”

“Heir Frosch, we haven’t even rehearsed any material for a Pigs in Space sketch!”

Kermit the Frog had the dubious and dangerous task of informing Piggy and Julius Strangepork on the inclusion of a Pigs in Space sketch, something that was completely unlike him as he normally only wanted skits that had been rehearsed and prepared beforehand to go on stage, especially on a show night. Unfortunately, Kermit hardly ever took into account the highly sensitive being that was Link Hogthrob.

Already smarting from his spectacular and unfortunate loss in the first round’s first match, Link had all but been inconsolable when it came to doing the song he had prepared for the night; all because he had lost and the song was supposed to be his triumphant swansong to all the winners out there.

So now, in order to appease him – especially when he complained about getting dressed up for the occasion and not even being on stage for more than fifteen minutes – he had been promised a Pigs In Space sketch.

Which Kermit was now trying to convince his co-stars and crew to help him with.

And it was not going very well.

Which of course was when Link, already dressed in his Captain attire, came down from his dressing room to approach the group. “I’m here, faithful fans,” he announced as he made his way to the circle. “And I’m ready for my close-up.”

“Oh brother,” muttered Piggy. “Hey, mush for brains, did it ever occur to you that we haven’t even rehearsed a Pigs In Space bit for tonight? What exactly do you plan on finding on Koozebane?”

“Why that’s simple, First Mate Piggy,” the dashing captain replied. “There are a wide variety of interesting creatures on the planet that we have yet to make contact with.”

“What if you did a tie in with the tournament?”

The group turned to look at Amanda, who just happened to be standing behind the quintet. She shrugged and continued with, “The rest of the acts have played a part, so why not this one? I mean, it means you’ll have to improvise, but it could work.”

“What a brilliant idea!” Link exclaimed, throwing an arm around the Whatnot’s shoulders. “It was a good thing you were here, Miss Amanda. I of course had the same thought before you voice it, so it’s almost like we’re on the same wavelength.”

Piggy had a perfectly tart response to that, but was interrupted by Scooter’s own, “Your dials must be broken.” That only served to make the diva smile in appreciation, so much so she leaned over to Kermit to give him an offer.

“Five bucks if you let Scooter hit him.” At the sour look her beloved turned to her, she countered with, “Suggestion.”

Amanda smiled sweetly at the swine, all the way removing his arm from her shoulder. “Thanks, Mr. Hogthrob.”

“Please,” the prima donna tutted, once again putting his arm around her. “All my friends call me Link.”

“Sure.”

“Now what was that thing you wanted us to do?”

“Improvise?”

“Right!”

Several minutes passed without comment.

“You do know what that means don’t you?”

“Of course I do!” Link insisted. He thought about it for a moment before asking, “It’s where we save starving children, right?”

“Piggy,” Scooter huffed, sending a look her way. “Surely you can lead your captain in discovering the wonders of improvisation?”

Seeing where this conversation could head and that Link still had his, prompted the ever efficient Strangepork to usher the captain towards his own dressing room. “Ja, ja, Scooter,” replied the German sausage. “C’mon Linkie, you can help me with my costume. I’m afraid that I may have eaten too much strudel over the break.”

“Consider it done, Scootie dear,” replied Piggy, giving a motherly pat to the stage manager’s cheek as she headed to her own dressing room to change. Kermit stared after her before turning to look at his manager.

“I’m suddenly reminded why I thought this was a bad idea.”

“Well it’s too late for that now,” came the retort.

The frog could only shake his head and wish to the heavens above that this would be the last time in which his show would need to combat with another act within the same theater; he didn’t think it would actually happen, but he could hope and dream.

​

“And now PIIIIGS IIIINNNNN SPAAAACE!”

The familiar image of the MSS Swinetrek filled the screen, as the cameras went into the interior, showing that the space genius Dr. Strangepork and First Mate Piggy were hard at work on something.

“When we last left our crew on the Swinetrek,” the announcer continued. “Dr. Strangepork had made a startling discovery on the planet Koozebane…”

“What’ve you found, Doc?” asked the first mate.

“Our readings indicate that something is moving around down there,” the German scientist explained.

“But we’ve never been able to accurately explore the remote possibility of life on Koozebane!” First Mate Piggy exclaimed.

“Well, there’s something happening down there now!”

“We’d better call the captain to the bridge,” Piggy replied, walking over to the communications system. “Capt. Hogthrob to the Bridge. Capt. Hogthrob to the Bridge, please.”

The two waited for the arrival of their captain, however as the minutes ticked away, it appeared that he was a no-show. “Where is that idiot?” the second in command muttered. Just when it looked as though the sketch would have to go on without the captain, the bigheaded boar managed to make his entrance through stage right.

“I heard you call, First Mate Piggy,” he replied, walking up to the rest of the crew. “Now what’s going on?”

“Strangequack says he thinks he may have finally located life on Koozebane.”

“How is that possible?” Link asked. “I thought we decided there wasn’t any life on Koozebane.”

“Well, there’s something movin’ around down there,” Strangepork said.

“Captain,” Piggy suggested. “Perhaps we should go down and check it out.”

“Please First Mate Piggy,” the captain said. “As captain of the Swinetrek, I’m the one who’s giving orders around here. And as my first order of the day, I think perhaps we should go down and check it out.”

“Why you little…”

“Go and make your landings, Strangepork,” Link continued. “First Mate Piggy, prepare for an away mission. To Koozebane!”

The Swinetrek zipped through the stars and space before making their landing on the formerly deserted planet of Koozebane. The landing was rough, as all of their landings were, causing the trio of pigs to bump into each other.

“Watch it!”

The planet of Koozebane was a grey wasteland of nothing, just rocks and rubble, with no foreseeable life what so ever. That of course never stopped the crew from exploring it anyway, wanting to ensure that they had explored every part of the universe, for pig kind everywhere. Upon landing, Capt. Link stood straight and began to head out for the surface, First Mate Piggy right on his heels.

In any other instance, the captain would have gone first, followed by his second in command.
Unfortunately, as was the routine between Link and Piggy, the two tussled for position to get out the door first, causing both to fall out and land hard on the surface below.

“Hey!” Strangepork cried, leaning a portion of his body out the door. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” Piggy called up. “Link broke my fall.”

“How’s Linkie?”

“Fine,” replied the first mate. “His head broke his fall. He has enough fluff in it, it was probably a softer landing than I had.”

“Link, are you okay?” asked Strangepork.

“Finland!”

“Terrific.”

Link shook himself out of his stupor and stood up, only to fall back down when his foot slipped on something round. Shakily, he stood up, one hand rubbing his hand and his other holding the offending culprit. “Look at this,” he said. “I found a round rock.”

“Well, it’s about the size of the rocks that are in your head,” Piggy retorted.

“Hey!” the captain cried. “I thought you said I was made of fluff!”

“It wasn’t a compliment!”

“Well?” the good doctor asked. “Is there life down there or not?”

Link held up the item in his hand, which turned out to be a yellow rounded ball. “What a funny colored rock.”

“That’s not a rock, stupid,” the first mate huffed. “It’s obviously a ball of some sort.”

“I’m certain this wasn’t here before,” the captain murmured. “Perhaps there’s been other people here that we haven’t seen.”

“Who’d want to come to this wasteland?”

Behind the two crew members, a couple of rocks were wondering what the fuss was about. “Hey, that’s not nice,” replied one rock. “That’s our home they’re talking about.”

Before the other rock could reply, the yellow ‘rock’ that Link had picked up was thrown in its direction, hitting it on its rocky head. “Ow!” it cried. The sounds of a ship taking off was the only reply it got in response. “Well, how rude! Going around hitting people like that! The nerve!”

“Hey, weren’t those folks the ones who broke in here a few years ago?”

 

[The Count]

*Loves how the story's evolving so far. Good job with the Pigs In Space sketch, refering back to George and Martha's lone appearance on the show. Please continue.

 

[WebMistressGina]

The madness continues! Here's the last act of the night, but that doesn't mean the show (story really) is over! Laggies and gentlefins, voys and mirls, quierdos of ball pages! The Great Gonzo!

Chapter VII​

“Hey Amanda,” Kermit replied, coming up to the young host. “I was wondering if we could make a change to the tournament schedule.”

“What type of change?”

“Well,” the frog began. “We’re running out of time and I really want Gonzo to do his act. Well…to be honest, I’d rather have Gonzo do his act here instead of at your place of business.”

Amanda chuckled. “I’m sure his act can’t be that bad.”

“Oh, it’s not bad,” Kermit corrected. “Usually. It’s not that it’s bad; it’s that his acts are usually dangerous. Believe me, you don’t want to know the amount of insurance we have on him and the theatre.”

The Whatnot actually gulped. How much insurance could they actually have on the…guy…thing? “That sounds ominous.”

“It is.”

Elsewhere, Scooter was doing his nightly checklist, while surreptitiously glancing up every few minutes to gaze longingly at the pool tournament’s organizer. Over the last few weeks, the manager had been trying to sum up the courage to ask the pretty redhead out on a date; the idea had been to just ask when everything was settled and they were closing up for the night. However, after the reception he kept keeping from the so-called Peanut Gallery, there was no way he’d be able to do so in private. And then of course, the chance that she would turn him down was almost too much to bear.

Maybe it would better if he called her, but he only had the number for the pool hall and not her number directly and in the past, he had always gone down to the place…

“There you are.”

The Muppet looked up to note that Miss Piggy was coming right at him, a certain look in her eye. In fact, it was a look he had seen in her baby blues before; it was a look that led him to hiring a real minister for two different wedding sketches, contacting the newspapers in regards to the nuptials that hadn’t really taken place in Vegas, and getting his boss to sign a marriage license.

And that look was aimed at him.

“Moi is going to do vous a favor.”

He was immediately suspicious. He had worked with Piggy long enough to know that anytime she wanted to do a favor for someone, there was some sort of string attached. Scooter, fortunately, had been lucky enough to usually be a part of whatever scheme she had planned, so…

“What kind of favor?”

“Shh,” was her reply. “Don’t ask questions. Now, here is the name of a fantastic men’s suit and tailor shop that Moi knows - ” she handed him a white card that had a name and address on it. “I’ve already taken the liberty of telling him you’d be stopping by tomorrow. There’s the time right there.”

“Tomorrow?” Scooter asked, looking at the card again. Sure enough, there was a time of eleven in the morning penciled in. “What?”

“Shh,” the pig said again. “No questions. Now, a driver will be at your apartment at precisely quarter till seven tomorrow night. Moi knows how vous likes to be punctual.”

“Piggy, why…?”

“Moi is still talking, Scootie dear,” Piggy interrupted, putting a finger to his lips to silence him. “I’ll go ahead and arrange dinner at a very sheik restaurant that Moi knows. Very romantic, Moi and Kermie have been there many times. Moi will talk to the chef about vous and date.”

“Date? What date?”

“Why, vous’s date with Miss Amanda of course!” she exclaimed, causing the stage manager to look around in embarrassment and fright. “What did you think I was talking about?”

Here, Scooter leveled his own look at her. Being one of the diva’s favorite people helped that he could potentially even say what he planned. “With you, I usually have no idea,” he said, with a deadpanned manner. Her intentions finally hit his processor and he stumbled with, “Besides, Amanda and I don’t…I haven’t…”

“Moi knows this,” Piggy again interrupted. “Which is why you are going to ask her after the show.” Pulling him closer, she whispered, “You know, the rat has twenty dollars that says you’ll chicken out, if you’ll pardon the expression. Moi of course knows that you will make every effort to dispel that horrible thought.”


Muppet and pig looked at each other for a moment. “You’ve bet on me, haven’t you?”

“Forty bucks,” the pig admitted. “And I would hate to lose, especially when we both know where that money will come from should Moi lose.”

Scooter cleared his throat; he was very aware where that forty bucks would be coming from. “I’ll do my best.”

“As another small, green being once said,” the diva continued. “Do or do not. There is no try. And do be quick about it, Moi knows how vous and Kermie like to dawdle.” With that, Piggy swept away just as she had swept in, like a tornado that passed through a town.

“I feel like I’ve been mowed over by a tornado,” he muttered.

“Been talking to Piggy?” asked Kermit, who had just as suddenly appeared on his right as Piggy had arrived at his left. “Wanted to let you know there’s a change in plans; Gonzo’s up next to end the show.”

“Okay,” Scooter nodded. “Did he happen to mention what his act was? All I have down is that he plans on using his unicycle and is reciting something. I couldn’t get more out of him.”

“Oh boy, that’s not good,” murmured the frog. “All he told me was that he was going to be balancing something while playing pool. He didn’t mentioned he’d be reciting something.”

“Well…” Scooter began, but took a moment to think about anything horrible going wrong with Gonzo’s act. Which of course gave him a list of a hundred things that could possibly go wrong. “I think we should probably use the standard procedure when dealing with anything that involves Gonzo.”

“Right,” Kermit nodded. “I’ll get the fire department, you make sure to have the hospital standing by.”

[hr]

“Greetings, peoples of earth!”

The last act of the night for the Muppet Show was beginning, while the third match of the singles competition was just getting underway. The entertainer that stood on stage was dressed for a successful performance – red cape billowed out around his pink leotard ensemble that was crushed to his blue furry body.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, weirdos of all ages. I, the Great Gonzo, will now attempt my greatest of acts! On this night, I will ride this unicycle, while balancing this ball on this cue stick on my nose, while simultaneously and at the same time, play a rousing game of pool for this year’s seventh annual Cosgrove Cool Pool tournament! All the while reciting, from memory, the entire script of the greatest pool hall movie in history, The Hustler! My opponent, Mr. Manis Khuffler, will begin the game with the standard break. Mr. Khuffler, if you will.”

Manis Khuffler, an odd furry yellow and orange monster, looked at the weirdo in confusion and a little trepidation. When he had discovered he would be facing the Great Gonzo for his match, he wasn’t sure what to expect; he had of course seen the show a few times and on some of those occasions he had seen the blue whatever perform. He certainly could say he had never seen anything like him or like his act, which was one part performance art, two parts daredevil, and hundred parts stupid and dangerous.

Taking a deep breath, Khuffler took his place at the table in order to make the first break, all the while keeping an eye on the daredevil as he mounted a unicycle; while balancing a cue stick and ball on his hooked nose. Shaking his head, Khuffler made his shot.

As with any of Gonzo’s acts, there didn’t seem to be an end to it. The game between him and Khuffler was actually a rather heated one, with Khuffler trash talking the weirdo while he was reciting lines from a 1950s movie, which of course only made Khuffler even madder. This was a professional sport and this fruitcake was making a mockery of it.

Khuffler may have watched the Muppet Show, but he certainly didn’t know anything about the Muppets and he definitely didn’t know anything about this particular Muppet. If he had, he wouldn’t have been surprised when Gonzo decided that playing pool while riding a unicycle, while balancing a pool stick on his nose, which also held a cue ball on said stick was so very ordinary, so humdrum, so…

Normal.

Henceforth, the best way to liven things up was to juggle. With one hand. And using the balls he had already sunk into the pockets.

While reciting The Hustler.

In song form.

“I’m going to Kentucky.
To Louisville, with a friend.
Try to make some money.
I need it! The money!
I’ll be leaving early in the morning.”

“What is wrong with you!?”

“Eight ball in the side pocket!”

“What!?”

Khuffler was stunned to see that the Great Gonzo had literally played him under the table, leaving him four extra balls on the table while the blue Muppet only had to shoot the eight ball. Which he did, very neatly, in the left side pocket. “Yes!” Gonzo cried, noting his win. Knocking the stick off his nose, he quickly jumped off his unicycle and hopped on the table, holding said cycle in his hand.

“And now, for my finale…”

“Well,” Kermit quickly interrupted, looking behind him to see Gonzo standing triumphantly on the table, while Khuffler lay on the floor by the table, having been knocked out by the cue ball that had flown off Gonzo’s stick and struck him hard in the forehead. “I think that thankfully ends another Muppet Show.

“But before we go, the tournament continues here for all, as well as next weekend when tonight’s winners go on to the second round. Thanks to my very special co-host, Miss Amanda Cosgrove!”
Amanda came out on stage, waving at the audience. “Thanks a lot Kermit, for letting us use the theater,” she said. “And congrats to…um…Gonzo, back there…”

“Don’t look at him,” Kermit whispered. “You’ll just encourage his antics.” To the audience, he said, “Make sure to check out the tournament next week, when our very own Rowlf, Piggy, Floyd, Janice, Fozzie, and uh…Gonzo there will be playing. Let’s hope they make a better impression there than they do here. And make you come back – please come back – next week to Muppet Show! Goodnight!”


I of course do not own (or actually have seen) the great movie The Hustler starring Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason. The show may be over, but the hijinks aren't. Stay tuned to see if Scooter grows his own cue balls, as well as the second round of the tournament!

 

[The Count]

*Snickers at the line about the cueballs. Very much applaud the story so far, I do. Go, not loose Piggy her money you should not. Post more, you will?

Cute to see the bits involving Scooter and Amanda, even with Piggy's 'direct' involvements.
Thanks for this, good stuff all around.

 

[WebMistressGina]

Really on a roll today! This one took a bit longer as I couldn't decide if I wanted to feature the date between Scooter and Amanda or not. I decided not, just because I wanted to showcase the second and final rounds of the tournament. Heh, this little short chaptered fic of mine has blossomed (no big surprise there).

I'm really gonna try to keep this under fifteen chapters. I say that, but...

Chapter VIII​

The insanity that was known as the Muppet Show was finally over, for that week at least. If backstage was crazy before and during the night of a show, there was only a slight alteration after a show. The fire department and medical personnel had been avoided, though Kermit did manage to get some of the stage pigs to help carry Manis Khuffler out to his car. The frog was already dreading the fallout that was going to come from that.

There were Muppets that could only be taken in small doses in order to avoid horrible situations; the Great Gonzo was one of those Muppets that could only be taken in doses of two minutes, any more could cause unforeseen consequences to all involved.

The green director looked around for his stage manager, needing to get a rundown of the show at large. It was their usual routine after a show, when they’d count out ticket and concession stand receipts, go over any canceled acts that could be moved to the next week’s shows, and sometimes checking on anyone who dared get on the wrong side of the diva pig, the daredevil weirdo, the crazy demolitions expert, or was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

For Scooter, it seemed to be the right place at the right time – everyone was currently busy with other things and Amanda was right there, speaking to Fozzie about something. When the bear left with a friendly pat on her shoulder, the manager made his move. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she replied, a smile on her face. “I can’t thank you enough for letting us have the first round of matches here. I know you probably got in trouble with Kermit.”

“Oh, well,” Scooter stumbled. “It’s…it was fine. Boss Frog doesn’t stay mad for long.” Leaning in, he whispered, “It’s Boss Hog you have to watch out for.” The two chuckled.

“Well,” the Whatnot whispered, stepping closer to him and putting a hand on his arm. “I still wish there was something I could to make up for any trouble.”

Scooter’s mind went blank. This was it! This was the perfect segway to ask her to dinner, to keep the set up that Piggy had arranged. His mind was working overtime, coming up with a plethora of different responses, some honest, some downright romantic; the problem he had was that there seemed to be a short circuit between his brain and that of his mouth.

“Uh…” he stuttered. “Um…you…me…”

“Would you like to have dinner with me?” she asked.

“Wha? I…no…my…”

Amanda leaned back, taking his stuttering as a negative answer. “Sorry,” she stumbled. “I mean…I thought…”

“No!” Scooter interrupted loudly, suddenly looking around to see if anyone had heard. “I mean, I mean…Amanda, I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a week.”

The Whatnot giggled. “I had hoped you felt the same.”

“I do,” he answered, honestly. “Dinner tomorrow? Seven?”

“Perfect,” she whispered. Leaning in once more, she gave him a kiss on the cheek, uttering a sultry “Bye” as she passed him and headed out the backdoor.

Scooter turned to watch her go, his heart light in the prospect of seeing the pretty girl tomorrow night. “Well?” a voice asked. “What do I tell Rizzo?”


Smiling, the manager turned to the diva. “Two words,” he said, with a grin. “Pay up.” With that, he headed towards Kermit to complete their nightly checklist.

“That’s my boy,” the porcine princess murmured. Turning, she began to make her way to the stage, where she knew the rats would be. “Alright vermin! The pig’s coming to get her pay! Where’s my money, losers?”

​

Chase Cosgrove had been around for some time, so he was pretty sure he knew when someone had a crush. He had gotten the feeling sometime at the beginning of the month and as their seventh annual tournament went on and got down to the wire, he was getting pretty good at seeing that someone in his employment had a crush.

By the week’s end, he had an inkling of who it was.

By Tuesday night, he felt comfortable admitting it to himself.

And by Wednesday morning, he was convinced.

His daughter had a crush on the manager for the Muppet Show.

He had immediately liked the younger Muppet – though he had to admit that Scooter was a strange name, only to be assured that it was just a childhood nickname – and thought he was very personable, but also professional when it came to putting together his own show, while helping to combine it with their tournament. Living in Hollywood, Cosgrove pretty much understood how those entertainment types worked, with their high class living and money to burn and spend.

He had actually been a bit surprised by the young Muppet’s demeanor; he didn’t act like a celebrity, but he also didn’t act like an uppity lawyer or assistant who thought they knew everything and everyone. The kid had been helpful, had offered suggestions and ideas, took their thoughts into account and put all of their notes in one of those portable tab things that all the kids had now a days. Chase had been sorry about missing the tournament, but he had a business to run of course.

Luckily, he had a few televisions set up so that people in the hall who wanted to watch could. Sundays were usually medium crowd, but once it was noted that the tournament was being played alongside the Muppet Show, a bigger crowd showed up if just to have a bigger group to watch TV with. He had of course seen the show when he had been younger, back in the day when the Muppets were only known for their zany antics on and off stage (before they were big movie stars) and he was happy to see that they were going back to their roots.

And it seemed that even with a pool tournament happening in their theater and on their stage didn’t stop all of the craziness that was going on. The only weird thing – besides Gonzo’s act – was noting that there didn’t seem to be any of the crazy backstage stuff going off like it usually did; however he chalked it up to the fact that the tournament on stage was as much of a draw as that of the show itself.

Wednesday morning saw him watching his daughter as she went about the office, humming and whistling and singing various songs or melodies. She had been out with Scooter two nights in a row that week and he knew she had plans on seeing him sometime before they would be hosting the second and final rounds of the tournament. To be honest, Cosgrove couldn’t help but be a little worried. The Muppets were known for crazy things and he was going to have a whole lot of Muppets in the building come Friday night.

On one hand, it meant extra business. Holding the tournament elsewhere had been an experiment for everyone involved and he had to admit that the added exposure of the name dropping on local and national television helped to bring in more patrons. On the other hand, he’d seen the Muppet Show before and he had seen their movies and while the group may maintain that these two things were just entertainment based, he did wonder if some of these antics actually happened and just happened to occur with a camera rolling.

“We all ready for Friday?” he asked, watching as Amanda went past him with a stack of papers in her hand. “And I’m talking about business, not that Grosse kid.”

“Dad!”

“What?” he smirked. “Like I can’t tell he’s got a crush on you or vice versa for that matter.”

“You do like him, don’t you?” she asked, suddenly, her green eyes showing worry in them for the first time in a very long time.

“He seems to be a good kid,” Chase replied, offhandedly. “But he’s a boy and you’re my daughter. That’s as far as I’ll take it.”

The girl rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “As for your question,” she said. “Things are fine. Flyers are out and Kermit said he was more than happy to give a shout out about the winners on the show Sunday.”

“Good, good,” the owner nodded. “Make sure we get all the peeps in here for the weekend. The name drop and having celebs is gonna bring the house down. Well, let’s hope not. I’ve heard about that blue whatever Gonzo thing.”

“He’s actually very nice,” Amanda said. “Weird, a lot eccentric, but nice.”

“Well,” Cosgrove sighed. “As long as that dynamite dude doesn’t come. Of the one that throws the fish. Or that cook of theirs. Or…”

“Just the usual suspects,” she laughed. “I got it.”

 

[WebMistressGina]

Bueno! Here is our next chapter in the continuing saga of teasing Scooter.

: Wait...what?

Yeah. That's really the purpose of this story. And to get Piggy dressed up in a fedora and tie.

: I looks good.

You do indeed. Aw, it's times like this I wish I was an artiste as well as a writer. Sometimes what I see in my head does not translate well to what I write down. Oh well. So this chap took me some time, as I added in ideas and then took them out and then just made reference to them or decided they really worked best as their own little ficlet (I've now managed to make an outline for not one, not even two, but three highly musical Muppet moments)

Anyway, the only thing to note here is that, after long contemplation (and mentioned in the last chapter) I went with the 'Scooter is a nickname' theme, which will be fully explored when I do a complete Scooter story.

: Really?

Yeah. I hadn't realized how much I liked you until I started doing this.

: Excuse me, I thought I was your favorite.

You are. Hence why I've dedicated an entire Adventure series to you.

: You gonna get to work that?

Geez, yeah I'm gonna get to it. I gotta finish this and that certain piece where you are the center of the universe, thank you very much! I will get to it when I'm good and ready, thank you.

: You'll get to it now.

You don't tell me what to do! You're just a clever icon manifestation to perceive emotional thought.



I...I will start it next week. This weekend. That's...that's what I meant. Anyway, here's more 8 ball!

Chapter IX​

With six of the normally headlining members of the Muppet Show participating in the Cool Pool tournament, Kermit was left with bringing in the second strings. Despite the assurances that they could easily be ready for a show Sunday night, Kermit wasn’t going to push it, especially when the final round of playing was to be played Sunday afternoon. He wouldn’t put the cast to something so short and under rehearsed (more like he didn’t want to put the audience through that).

That of course meant he would need to fully push that night’s guest star and bring on acts he normally wouldn’t think of. Link had suggested pulling out a Bear on Patrol sketch, which was met with the fact that Fozzie wouldn’t be there; the pig had shrugged his shoulders and stated that most people were turning in to see him anyway, so perhaps they should rename it Pig on Patrol. Kermit had been adamant in vetoing that suggestion, but now he was thinking that maybe, just maybe, if all of his options were gone, he’d try that.

As a very last resort.

So far, he had – with great trepidation – okay’d the Swedish Chef and Muppet Labs, with a stray thought that he might actually give Lew Zealand his long awaited shot at doing his fish flinging act.

Depending on who managed to survive the second round, he might be able to squeeze out some sort of musical act – if Janice and Floyd got knocked out, the Mayhem could perform and if Piggy and Rowlf got shot down, he knew Piggy wouldn’t turn down a chance to do a piece with her favorite piano player. Scooter had suggested that maybe they bring in a report on the tournament from the days before, as well as holding a winner’s circle for the winners of the doubles and singles competition.

That idea actually had some merit to it, which would not only help out Cool Pool, but could perhaps gain a little measure of star power to the show as well. Already, there had been buzz on the fact that Rowlf and Piggy had eliminated men’s champion Mika Immonen and that the female champion of Allison Fisher with her partner looked to be a good competitor should the two make it past Floyd and Janice. And then there was the charity aspect – the winners had their choices of which charity they wanted to donate a portion of their winnings and Kermit knew that, as far as the Muppets were concerned, their choices were always charities that involved kids.

It seemed despite his original misgivings, this idea of Scooter’s was actually panning out in the positive. Now he just had to get through the week of viewing acts, the rest of the tournament, and that of the show. A phrase popped into his head, but he quickly shook it loose.

Never say piece of cake in the labyrinth.

(8)​

The remaining rounds for the Cool Pool tournament were to be played the following weekend, with the second round going Friday, the third and final round happening Saturday, and then a friendly competition between the winners Sunday afternoon. Throughout the week, advertisements for the tournament had gone out, by word of mouth, flyer, television, and the Internet.

Pool fans were eager to see who was going to win, as well as getting to see Mika Immonen and Allison Fisher in the flesh and for autograph signings; Muppet fans were drawn to the hall to see their favorite stars take on some of pool’s biggest stars in what looked to be a great weekend full of fun, friends, and pool. Flyers for the event proudly displayed the match ups for both the doubles and singles matches –

The first match of the evening would put first round winners Rowlf and Piggy against their Muppet Show co-stars of Floyd Pepper and Janice, while Allison Fisher and her partner Louvus would take on Big Tony Little and his son, Little Tony. In the singles matches, Andy Schweeb would take on the surprise winner Fozzie Bear, while the Great Gonzo would try to show up or shoot down Muppet pool player Audra Smalls.

That weekend proved to be the busiest that the theater had seen, with Scooter splitting his time between that of the show and that of spending time with Amanda and coordinating the acts that Kermit had green lit for the show that weekend. To be honest, he was actually surprised that his boss had said yes to that of Chef and Muppet Labs; if he thought the acts the week before could be troublesome…

For the stage manager, his week – as hectic as it was – was still great in his opinion. His date with Amanda had gone great on Monday, so much so that they had agreed to meet the next night for dinner again. Scooter wouldn’t deny that he had been terrified on dining with the pretty Muppet. It wasn’t like he had a ton of experience having dinner with pretty girls, so he had of course turned to the one person he could count on to lead him through the fire.

All of Monday had been spent in a text message war – his initial question of what he should do had sparked to an analysis on how he should dress, what to eat, and even the conversation that should be done. Thankfully, the whole ordeal was limited to one person; he hoped.

DIVINE MISS P: It’s t-minus one hour before go time. Moi hopes you are getting dressed.
SCOOTIE G: It’s an hour before go time. Why would I be getting dressed?
DIVINE MISS P: *sigh* Has Moi thought you nothing about making an entrance?

Scooter wouldn’t be the first male to not understand why a woman had to get ready five hours in advance for something that would only take maybe an hour or two, but his nervousness did cause him to consider that it be better to get ready early and then to take the hit and get the pass or fail from his dress coach.

His appointed time with Piggy’s personal tailor had gone well, giving him an updated set of suits that he had been neglecting to keep. As the stage manager and assistant, Scooter was lucky enough not to be in the spotlight like his other co-workers, which meant that he didn’t need to get dressed up for special dinners or guest spots. That was the benefits of being the manager – he got all the recognition he needed with the knowledge that he was the person Kermit had to lean on the most, who Piggy came to him when appointments needed to be organized, that Fozzie included when working on a routine…

His final choice of attire for Monday at least was that of a black silk shirt, with a red tie and matching vest, along with black pants and dress shoes. He had slicked his hair back a tad so it wasn’t the normal wildish look, took a picture, and sent it to the porcine princess.

DIVINE MISS P: My, my, my! You actually clean up rather well!
SCOOTIE G: You’ve seen me dressed up before.
DIVINE MISS P: Yes, but not so debonair. Red is a good look for you. Wear it more.

He was well aware that hadn’t been a suggestion.

(8)​

Friday night was a party night, whether you were in Hollywood or not. It was a night for dinners, gatherings, premieres, and interviews and on this Friday night, it was the night for the second rounds of the seventh annual Cosgrove Cool Pool Tournament.

Those of the Muppet Show performers who would participate had decided that instead of taking several cars at once, they should just carpool in one car. There was of course different interpretations on which car would be the one to get them to where they wanted to go; unfortunately for one Muppet starlet, the chosen vehicle was not the sleek black limo that she had lobbied for, no no, the vehicle of choice was that of the hideously outrageous Electric Mayhem tour bus.

In hindsight, she would – eventually – realize that, with the amount of people and spectators that were coming, the bus made the most logical and cheapest solution.

For the time being of course, it felt like a person affront to the very dignity, quiet, and grace that she – as a professional – that she aspired and lived to be.

The rickety bus had been a staple of the band’s rise and performing status. Originally something that Floyd and Dr. Teeth had discovered in a junk yard, the group had gone about restoring it and decorating to match the style and being that was and is that of the Mayhem and their members. Despite its obvious ease at being seen from space, the bus was large enough to keep a small stage in the back in order to practice, as well as being able to sit just about every Muppet player in the business.

It had not been the first choice that Scooter would have chosen either.

Earlier, after he had gotten dressed for the night, he had received a text from Piggy informing him that they were on the way and would be there in about fifteen minutes or less. Noting that the drive between homes wasn’t terribly long, the sneaking suspicion – and additional worry – that perhaps Piggy was driving only seemed to heighten his nerves slightly. He had been in the car with the pig behind the wheel once before and had hoped to never going through that again.

He was too young to die.

However, as he stood outside his apartment complex awaiting the arrival of his friends, he couldn’t have imagined that he was going to die from embarrassment. He heard the bus coming before he saw it, the familiar rumbling of the engine giving credence to the arrival of a large car or truck; in most cases, the rocking music from the band usually covered the engine’s roar, but as they were short two members – not counting the fact that their band leader was driving – the playing that was going on inside was a bit more subdued than normal.

Perhaps the playing would have tipped the go-fer off sooner, but the engine did have a distinctive sound or rather, at least one that Scooter was used to after all the years of knowing the band; very slowly, his head turned to look down the street as two massive headlights came into view, growing larger and larger, causing the appearance of a car driven spotlight to shine on the nicely dressed Muppet.

“Hey, hey, hey!” called a voice from one of the open windows. “Check out the suit!”

If the arrival of the Mayhem bus hadn’t clued him into a night of unwanted, unnecessary, and merciless teasing, the sounds of Floyd Pepper’s raspy laughter only served to make him take a deep breath before making his way to the door and up the steps into the bus proper.

Where he was greeted with whistles and cat calls.

“Me thinks the boy is dressed for absolute success!” crowed the driver.

Scooter had to admit – privately, secretly – that he did look pretty good tonight. He had heard from both the tailor and that of her divine fashionista that red was a good look for him, so he had gone with the red dress shirt, open and without a tie, and covered with a nice black jacket and matching pants. It was probably the most adultish thing he had probably worn and that fact wasn’t lost on those were seated, looking and whistling at him.

“We…we agreed,” he stumbled, fighting the growing blush that was rising to his face and cheeks. “We would dress for the occasion. I dressed for the occasion!” The last bit fell to make any kind of impression; of course those who were participating were dressed for the occasion, the same type of lounge, swing ensembles they had worn last week. Perhaps he should’ve gone in his normal attire; that would’ve made the drive from his home to the pool hall entirely more bearable than what he was about to experience.

Piggy had all but pushed Kermit out of the seat they were sharing, shooing him towards the seat across where Fozzie was sitting, while both Janice and Camilla seemed to launch themselves over the seats in order to get to the one behind Piggy, which incidentally was where Rowlf had literally draped himself over the back off.

“Come and sit right here, Andrew,” the starlet cooed, emphasizing the point by patting the reminder of the seat next to her.

Scooter had to gulp at that. Sitting next to Piggy was probably the last thing he wanted to do, liking it to stepping inside the lion’s den with a steak wrapped around his neck. However, to her credit, in this situation, sitting next to Piggy was probably the safest thing he could do, as well as being the safest place he could be. Piggy had years of experience deflecting and redirecting the hardest of journalists, talk show hosts, and other media news sniffers that she could easily manage to get any dirt out of him concerning Amanda, while keeping the others off him.

And she had used his first name, which usually signaled that she was in no mood for an argument of any kind.

Resolving that the situation couldn’t get any worse than it was, Scooter wearily and warily took his seat next to the diva and prepared himself for the fifteen to twenty minutes of heckling, teasing, and all around merriment that was to accompany him tonight.

 

[The Count]

Aw, cute little update. Am interested to meet Audra. Sorry that will be the object of teasing from his "friends" during the long ride to the pool hall. Nice to get some progress towards the replacement acts. Go get 'em , , and !

 

[newsmanfan]

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Whew. What a dynamo of chapters to sift through...

Okay, your portrayal of the characters feels right, which can be tricky if you haven't had much familiarity with some of them, but Rizzo's trademark greed (see his namesake in Midnight Cowboy for favorable comparison) came shining...er...well, dimly gleaming through, as it were. Good job all around! Loved Link's "nightly cry." (I imagine his tailor loves the hankie-drycleaning business.) Loved Rowlf tickling another kind of ivory. And the betting pool turned askew by unpredictable Muppets!

Gonzo's act had me in stitches (as I'm sure they often do him)...and your puns for Vet's Hospital were dead-on.

Ya might say, they lined up just fine.

Piggy would of course throw her considerable influence, style, and no-nonsense attitude into "advising" poor Scooter...good for him, though. Always good to have her on one's side...rather than on one's head. And your description of the first time it's happened to the boy was sweet and didn't ring falsely as so many first-crush stories tend to -- yayy!

Incidentally...is Amanda perhaps the granddaughter of another Cosgrove made briefly imfamous on TMS? I refer of course to the News Flash on a certain flagpole-sitting record-breaker...

One small niggle: a "swan song" is NOT triumphant, it's sung by the loser, referencing the old myth about a swan singing as it dies...then again, that actually fits Link better, so let it lie!

Curious what mishaps, mayhem, and monsters-eating-pool-cues may transpire next. Keep going!
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