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Ahoy hoy! I haves arrived in Denver and loving it! Oh how I missed it and how I missed you all in the...few hours I wasn't here. LOL Sorry for the lateness and the length of this bad boy; so many ideas and so very little time apparently. This time, we're checking out the show's rehearsals, Floyd gets Scooter, and Piggy meets with two different people.
Without giving away details, a character here is being used with permission, so that's all I can say for the moment.
And without further ado!
Saturday morning saw Scooter having his usual pre-show breakfast with Kermit, at the little coffee shop that had served the theater and their cast for years. This was a tradition for the two, ever since Scooter began the transition from go-fer to that of stage manager and personal assistant.
Kermit tried to show, more than admit, that he had come to rely on Scooter just as much as he did the others; the boy had shown early on that he was much smarter than a kid his age should be and that, when not relying on his uncle’s name and theater ownership, he could be his own person.
That person had shown to be determined, responsible, efficient, funny, and talented. Kermit, as well as everyone else, sometimes couldn’t believe just how talented the kid was; Scooter was not the type of person to actively request being in a number or having his own act or song – not unless his uncle was behind it – but when given the chance, the acts that Scooter did do were great.
Ultimately, Scooter was also a very helpful person; even with his role as the go-fer, the younger Muppet had shown he was not only good at taking directions, he was often good at giving them. Before Kermit – and even the others - had recognized it, Scooter had essentially taken on the task of right hand man to the frog, putting out fires before they could really start (or rather, before Kermit found out) and directing and coordinating the others while the big boss handled other things, like the leading lady, or the performing artist, or the chickens’ union.
It was almost unheard of for someone at Scooter’s age to be assisting in the backstage antics of a theater troupe, but by the time Scooter reached sixteen, that was exactly what he was doing. Floyd had once joked that Piggy had all but trained to the boy to be her personal assistant, something that Kermit had resented for some time; he could admit now that in those times where those two had gotten together and schemed against him, he had ended up ignoring both of them – or at least trying to.
Piggy was not the kind of person to be ignored by any measure, which usually meant Kermit held a much harder grudge against Scooter. That was a definite harsher in hindsight reality, especially when, after he had calmed down some, it hadn’t truly been Scooter’s fault, if not so much Piggy’s for getting the teen involved in her latest scheme.
Kermit always found it odd and a bit unsettling that Scooter was so easily coerced into doing the diva’s bidding, but then Kermit would recall that he couldn’t ever remember the Muppet ever discussing his family, least of all his parents. Once, Kermit remembered that – after their latest plan to get him married off to Miss Piggy – the sudden thought that Scooter had all but plotted a parent trap came to mind and he found that he couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe that’s what went on in the teen’s mind.
Now of course, decades later, Kermit had shifted nicely – and admittedly to himself – happily in a role of surrogate parent to a few of the Muppets, but especially Scooter. It was also one of the reasons they had breakfast twice a week; oh, the official reason was to go over ideas or thoughts that had been presented at their Monday meetings and then thoughts on how the show would be the day before.
It was the perfect excuse to ask about anything that was going on in life, for both of them. They may have been boss and employee and sometimes co-workers, but as with all the Muppets, there was an overall friendliness to everything they did with each other. In most cases, it was just the two of them, but every so often Piggy would join them. This was true when the assistant came over to the house for breakfast on Wednesdays or Saturdays, with no need to announce himself; Piggy had given him a key as soon as the locks had been put in.
Business went as usual this Saturday morning, with the two sitting outside on the coffee shop’s patio at one of the rounded tables. The weather had been surprisingly nice that week, with the season deeply entrenched in spring and heading into summer. “How’s it looking so far?” asked Scooter, leaning back and watching people stroll by.
“So far so good,” Kermit answered, taking a moment to drink from his cup. “With Floyd and Janice out of the tournament, I went ahead and green lit the Mayhem and then if we start running short, I told Gonzo to do his thing.”
“So what do we have then?” the assistant asked, pulling out his tablet in order to go over the schedule he held. Scooter had of course taken to technology like a baby to a bottle; his working with Google helped the experience by giving him the latest phone and the latest upgrades, however it was Apple that gave him the needed tablet.
“Well,” the frog began, letting out a sigh. Though he had been happy in the notion that several of them had made into the final rounds, the fact that it was their headliners involved made planning that week’s show ever more difficult. “Chef has wanted to do a segment ever since we said we’d be coming back to the theater and Bunsen and Beaker had said they have something big for tomorrow.”
“What is it?”
“I have no idea,” the frog grumbled. “They said preliminary tests wouldn’t be complete until tomorrow.”
“Well,” Scooter shrugged. “If push comes to shove, in Muppet Labs, only Beaker gets hurt.”
“Yeah,” Kermit agreed. “However, it also means one of us – meaning you – is going to have to talk him into not quitting – again – and putting out any fires that have appeared on his head.”
“No worries, Chief,” the go-fer replied, confidently. “Beakie isn’t gonna quit. He’ll threaten, but he won’t really. At least, I certainly hope not.”
“And then there’s Lew…”
“You actually put him in?”
“He has some weird fish flinging juggling act that actually looked good when he showed it to me.” The frog let that hang for a moment before looking at his stage manager. “There’s something wrong with me; I must be sick.”
“You are looking a little green.”
“Leave the comedy to the bear.”
“We have and look where it’s gotten us.”
Kermit couldn’t help but smirk at that. “It’s unnatural for you to be so chipper, so early,” he chuckled. “I can only guess that you had a rather okay night last night.” The frog sent a knowing look to the red head, causing him to smile shyly.
“It went alright,” he whispered.
“Ah.”
“You…you like her, don’t you, Kermit?”
Kermit had been a frog in the business for many years, with several of those as the leader and director to the motely Muppets. All of those years helped to serve him when met with a question from one of his employees – Fozzie was prone to worrying his pork pie hat, Gonzo tended to fidget, Rowlf would get reflective, and Piggy went the opposite of her normal personality.
Scooter tended to call him by name.
“Amanda?”
“Yeah.”
The question wasn’t exactly unexpectant, but Kermit still had some trouble offering up fatherly advice when called for; he usually just went with what he thought was the right thing to say and what his heart told him. To be honest, he didn’t really spend a lot of time with Amanda last week, his duties as director and zoo handler often kept him from getting to everyone at the same time; hence why he had Scooter.
“I haven’t really spent that much time with her,” he answered honestly. “She certainly seems nice.”
“She’s nice.”
“She seemed like she had a handle on everything.”
“She did.”
“And she is pretty.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Wonder if she has a sister.”
“Yeah…hey!”
Kermit chuckled. “Wanted to see if you were still paying attention.”
“Cute,” Scooter smirked. “Cute joke. I’ll be sure to share that with Piggy later.”
“Not if you still want a job.”
Scooter looked at him knowingly.
“Okay,” the frog amended. “Not if you still want to get in the house.”
Scooter continued to look at him.
“Sheesh,” he groused. “You really are that pig’s assistant.”
“Aw,” the orange laughed, patting his employer and friend on the arm. “No worries, Boss; there’s enough of me to go around. Remember, sharing is caring.”
Pre-show rehearsals for the Sunday night revivals of the Muppet Show usually took most of the day. The reason being was that some acts went on longer than needed or acts were moved around or canceled or added in. There was also the consideration of the guest star, who needed to go through their own acts, and of course, get a crash course in working with the Muppets.
Luckily, many of those guest stars who had previously worked with the Muppets were more than happy to return. Last week’s tournament issues actually worked out because this week’s guest – the wonderful and lovely Julie Andrews – was able to make an appearance work with her schedule, which she was unable to do the week before. It also worked out that Julie was more than aware of how to be around the zaniness that was often exhibited before, during, and after the show.
Kermit loved guests like these.
While many celebrities expressed an interest in working with the group, they never knew what they were getting into until they actually worked with the group; this often meant discovering that the eccentricities and oddities that they saw in the previous show or the movies weren’t made up in the script. Many an actor had run afoul Miss Piggy’s charms, while many an actress had to contend with the affections of Animal.
All of them had to contend with Gonzo, Fozzie, Crazy Harry, Sam, Statler, Waldorf, the list went on and on.
This week of course was certainly an odd one – while there had been numerous shows in which certain performers didn’t have acts in the show or had other commitments, it was rare for a large group to not be around. Kermit hadn’t realized (or perhaps he had forgotten) just how many numbers would be missing Piggy, how many piano pieces wouldn’t be played by Rowlf, the complete lack of a comic monologue by Fozzie, and the over the top and always dangerous stunts by Gonzo; in hindsight, this should have made him quite happy and content.
There was no fighting over songs or fretting over the audience and certainly no idea too small to the outrageous idea that had been too small to top; there would be no hurricane of puns, no ludicrous journeys of a trek of swines, no impossible problem to be solved by a patrol bear…
This should have been the easiest show Kermit had ever done in his entire show business career.
Fate’s a fickle mistress as they say.
At the moment, with Kermit sitting in one of the theater’s seats, the frog wished, begged, pleaded almost to have his normal, wacky, zany, and demanding co-stars back. Perhaps he was growing paranoid, but the dress rehearsal seemed too…good. The Swedish Chef had actually and properly cooked roasted vegetables with some sort of sweet side sauce; Lew Zealand’s crazy fish juggling went off without a hitch; Link Hogthrob’s song about unrequited love was on key; the penguins rendition of Oye Como Va while hanging around a beach was actually good; and the Electric Mayhem hit one out of the park with the jazz standard Take Five.
Everything was going swimmingly.
Something must be wrong.
Kermit knew what it could’ve been – Muppet Labs had yet to show him what it was they did when no one was around and that’s what worried the frog. Usually Bunsen came to him with a new idea and wanted to present it in the Labs segment; this time, Bunsen had come to him with the promise of a new idea that would be ready by showtime.
He knew better; normally, he would have insisted that the good doctor at least give him a lowdown on what exactly he had in mind and how much it would end up hurting his assistant. But he didn’t; Kermit the Frog had been distracted by a flying Zucchini brother and hadn’t even thought about the fact that he wasn’t sure what they were planning.
And now, at dress rehearsal, he still hadn’t seen the myopic doctor or his wild haired assistant and that was troubling. He hadn’t heard any screaming, though, so perhaps that was a point in his favor.
For the moment, at least.
One Hour Earlier
When Kermit and Scooter had arrived at the theater, they had taken the backstage door entrance, with Kermit heading off to sit in the audience while Scooter rounded up those acts that would be performing. What the go-fer did however was to look around for any signs of Floyd Pepper.
He hadn’t seen the musician backstage and briefly wondered if perhaps he was in the orchestra pit with the other band members; that of course would make things difficult, as he would actually need to go onstage in order to speak to Kermit. Scooter made his way slowly towards the curtains, peaking out to see where Kermit was. He couldn’t see Floyd’s distinctive green cap that covered his wild shock of red hair; in fact, he couldn’t see the band at all from this angle, which meant he would need to actually come out on stage.
If only Kermit would take to texting the way Piggy had, came the thought. Taking a deep breath, the go-fer slowly made his way onstage.
Of course, at that exact moment, the frog was actively using his phone – or at least trying to – in order to answer the text he had gotten from said pig. This would cause him to initially miss the tentative steps and frantic arm waving that his stage manager was trying to convey to him. Unfortunately, while Kermit hadn’t seen Scooter enter from stage right, the band – who were very much accounted for and very excited to see the boy – did see his antics.
“Hey, Grofer!”
The infamous tune of “The Stripper” began, effectively stopping Scooter and Kermit both, causing them to look up – Kermit to that of the orchestra pit and thus Scooter standing onstage, while Scooter looked up towards the heavens, willing them to strike him down if they ever truly cared about him.
The music mercifully stopped, allowing for Floyd to throw out, “We wanted to tell you good morning!”
“By playing the most inappropriate song you could possibly think of and that has no impact on my life what so ever?” the stage manager quipped. “Good thinking, Floyd.”
If Floyd Pepper thought that was meant to be insulting, he didn’t take it as such. He was the hippest of the hip, the coolest cat of the cool set; he’d been trading insults with all the Muppets for years. The bassist rasped out a laugh, before saying, “You’re right. How about this one instead?”
“The sailors say Mandy,
You’re a fine girl,
What a good wife you would be.
And our love, our life, you’re my lady
True to be!”
How Floyd managed to get the entire band on the act, he didn’t know, but Scooter really didn’t need to look far; half of the orchestra was made up of members from the Mayhem anyway.
“Oh,” Scooter deadpanned, placing a hand on his side. “My sides. Please stop. No. Really. Please. Stop.”
“If you all are finished…”
“I certainly hope so,” Scooter shouted, when he was finally able to get Kermit’s attention. “Ready for the acts, Chief?”
As Scooter tried to fend off one Muppet Show orchestra lead by Floyd Pepper and Kermit sat through an unnerving amount of bad acts going good, Miss Piggy was running errands of the fashion kind. She often found herself on the hunt for the perfect attire for any occasion, whether it be for an interview or even something to just get the heads turning and the tongues wagging.
For this excursion, she was actually picking up the third part in her series of 1920s moll outfits that she had been wearing for the pool tournament. The first – which she had worn on the last show – had been the start of a new look, something chic, but very much her. She had been surprised when Rowlf of all people had suggested it; never one to ask for fashion advice from her co-stars – while Janice and Camilla could make diva into comfortable, Gonzo seemed to go out of his way to make her eyes gorge themselves with his daily clothing choices – the dog’s idea had merit and she went with it.
Piggy could admit – to herself – that her favorite pianist could often show he had the same sort of fashion sense that he held with knowing just about everything when it came to music. He could be very dashing when he wanted – as could most of the male cast – but he was very laidback when it came to clothing and fashion in general. Their matching outfits – though Piggy’s was more on the feminine side – did wonders for showing people how much of a team they were; the additional bonus was also the fact that they not only worked well together, but absolutely rocked together.
Part two of their series match up, which they had worn the night before, consisted of the same style of white pressed shirt/blouse, tie, and vest, however this time the colors had changed – Piggy’s vest front, tie, and fedora had been the same lavender as her gloves, while Rowlf’s maroon vest and tie had been the perfect balance. Tonight’s ensemble would be the inverse of the first two nights – with colored shirts under the standard black vest and tie. Piggy, of course, would have her matching lavender fedora, but with a band of black going around it.
For such unique and utterly fabulous stylings, there was only place that the diva would go.
The shop was a very small one, but for the designer that ran it, small was really all you needed, especially when you were catering to the big stars in Hollywood. There was no bell that rang when someone came in, the owner would just know someone had entered, thanks to his designing senses that tingled whenever someone even approached the door.
And he was especially good at knowing when Piggy was in the shop.
“Diva!” he cried, coming out from a back room and waving her in. “Get in here!”
Piggy acquiesced, only because Thoreau – just Thoreau, thank you – had been her designer for years and if there was someone other than Kermit that she would actively listen to, it was him. Coming inside the shop, she quickly closed the door behind her and followed the designer into the backroom.
“I don’t want any undesirables getting a look at the creation I made for you,” he responded, pointing to two garment bags that were hanging on a rack. “At least, not until you wow them at your little pool party tonight.”
“Mon ami, vous are a dear to do this for Moi.”
Thoreau waved her off. “Of course I would do it,” he huffed. “As if I’d let one those…clothing pushers put their grubby hands and designs on you. Darling, I’ve said this before – this temple - ” he gestured to her figure. “Is to be clothed in the finest of fashions. I refuse to have you walk around in anything less. It would devastate me.”
“And modest, too,” Piggy smirked, causing the designer to huff once more.
“Please,” he sighed. “If you’ve got it, why not flaunt it? And you and I both know that we have it and we are most certainly flaunting it.” The pig couldn’t help but giggle at that. “When is your little doggie coming to get a fitting? I’m sure you’ll be fine, but you know how I want to make sure everything is perfect.”
“Sometime before lunch,” the starlet responded. “That way we won’t get anything dirty. And Rowlf is definitely not Moi’s dog; he’s not anyone’s dog, by his own admission.”
“Hmm, yes, I got that impression,” Thoreau began. “Do you have time for a quick nosh? My stomach’s been screaming up a storm for the past hour and I haven’t had any gorgeous pigs to have breakfast with.”
The mid-morning breakfast with Thoreau lasted for nearly an hour, allowing the two to catch up, gossip, and talk fashion while eating. Piggy was supposed to meet with Rowlf for lunch around noon, normally a time that she would be having lunch with Kermit. However, as the director and captain, sometimes lunches and dinners with the frog needed to be postponed or moved to another time.
Truth be told, their relationship had been changing – for the better – ever since her return from Paris. Their rift had lasted years, much longer than any time they had ever been mad at each other before and subsequently, it seemed to be taking them a little bit longer to get back to where they had been. They had always said or done things in the past that had hurt the other and in most cases, it was overlooked or glossed over, never being discussed or rather, waiting until the next blow up to be blown out of proportion.
Their last fight however could not be glossed over and pretty demanded not to be overlooked.
Kermit was definitely a very nice frog; he could also be pretty petty and downright scathing when it suited him and his needs. Piggy, on the other hand, could definitely be the diva and self-proclaimed star of the show; she could also get her feelings hurt pretty quickly, especially if something hit a little too close to home.
When Kermit had a bone to pick or had reached his limit, he lashed out and took careful at Piggy’s heart; in turn, Piggy – who never made it a point to be on the defense – went on the offense and struck back. The combination of tactics would cause arguments of epic proportions, which usually led to the pig’s trying her best to contain tears, while the frog tried to take back the words he had said.
Their lasts fight changed the dynamic – Piggy didn’t cry and Kermit’s words couldn’t be taken back. So, she left. And Kermit stayed.
When she had returned, their relationship status went from being off to being on hold. Indefinitely.
But, in their defense, they were both working to switch the on hold to back on, with hopefully only small occurrences of ‘off’. Piggy would’ve liked to have had Kermit all to herself that afternoon, but they both needed to concentrate and be on their best; he had a show to run and she had a tournament to win.
Lunch with Rowlf had been a simple affair. Piggy rarely ate outside of the theater with anyone she worked with (aside from Kermit), however there were occasions in which she, Janice, and Camilla might grab a quick bite in order to have some girl talk away from the mostly male cast and of course, when she needed something from Scooter (or he needed something from her), the two might meet for breakfast or lunch.
If anything, changing the venue did nothing to diminish the easy rapport the two had for one another. Rowlf had always been easy to talk to and their added chemistry in doing Vet’s Hospital and pieces together made it that much easier to team up in the doubles competition.
The two had met for lunch at a cozy coffee shop that Rowlf knew, one that was out of the way and discreet, meaning that no one would know they were there and they wouldn’t be able to tell others about it either; the brown dog prided himself on being able to find the best dives and shops that no one else could. Just like their Muppet Show manager and director, the two also decided to enjoy the beautiful weather by sitting outside, shaded by a large umbrella that was attached to their patio table.
They had pretty much finished, with Piggy lazily picking off Rowlf’s plate, and had instead been chatting contentedly for the duration. Their conversation had started out talking about the show they would be missing, however it quickly turned back to the important matters of their place in the tournament. “The Littles might be a problem,” Rowlf had been saying.
Out of the two of them, the pianist took more of a pragmatic approach to their game; he knew they both had talent, but years as a musician had also taught him that no matter how good you were, there was always someone who was better.
“Please,” Piggy huffed. “We’ll take them down like we have everyone else.”
“Pride before the fall, princess.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
It was a high level of respect and friendship that allowed Piggy to defer control to Rowlf in some cases (not all of course, but some); his knowledge of music far outweighed hers and he had never steered her wrong when it came to choosing a song that fit her range and personality. It also helped that, in regards to personal matters, the dog had never steered her wrong either.
In the case that you haven't heard of The Stripper, here ya go -
And in case you've never of "Brandy" (which Floyd and the orchestra are singing to Scooter), here ya go -
So, as a side note, wanna hear something funny? Guess who ended up doing a haiku for a job position? May Gonzo be with me in this endeavor!
Without giving away details, a character here is being used with permission, so that's all I can say for the moment.
And without further ado!
Chapter XIV
Saturday morning saw Scooter having his usual pre-show breakfast with Kermit, at the little coffee shop that had served the theater and their cast for years. This was a tradition for the two, ever since Scooter began the transition from go-fer to that of stage manager and personal assistant.
Kermit tried to show, more than admit, that he had come to rely on Scooter just as much as he did the others; the boy had shown early on that he was much smarter than a kid his age should be and that, when not relying on his uncle’s name and theater ownership, he could be his own person.
That person had shown to be determined, responsible, efficient, funny, and talented. Kermit, as well as everyone else, sometimes couldn’t believe just how talented the kid was; Scooter was not the type of person to actively request being in a number or having his own act or song – not unless his uncle was behind it – but when given the chance, the acts that Scooter did do were great.
Ultimately, Scooter was also a very helpful person; even with his role as the go-fer, the younger Muppet had shown he was not only good at taking directions, he was often good at giving them. Before Kermit – and even the others - had recognized it, Scooter had essentially taken on the task of right hand man to the frog, putting out fires before they could really start (or rather, before Kermit found out) and directing and coordinating the others while the big boss handled other things, like the leading lady, or the performing artist, or the chickens’ union.
It was almost unheard of for someone at Scooter’s age to be assisting in the backstage antics of a theater troupe, but by the time Scooter reached sixteen, that was exactly what he was doing. Floyd had once joked that Piggy had all but trained to the boy to be her personal assistant, something that Kermit had resented for some time; he could admit now that in those times where those two had gotten together and schemed against him, he had ended up ignoring both of them – or at least trying to.
Piggy was not the kind of person to be ignored by any measure, which usually meant Kermit held a much harder grudge against Scooter. That was a definite harsher in hindsight reality, especially when, after he had calmed down some, it hadn’t truly been Scooter’s fault, if not so much Piggy’s for getting the teen involved in her latest scheme.
Kermit always found it odd and a bit unsettling that Scooter was so easily coerced into doing the diva’s bidding, but then Kermit would recall that he couldn’t ever remember the Muppet ever discussing his family, least of all his parents. Once, Kermit remembered that – after their latest plan to get him married off to Miss Piggy – the sudden thought that Scooter had all but plotted a parent trap came to mind and he found that he couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe that’s what went on in the teen’s mind.
Now of course, decades later, Kermit had shifted nicely – and admittedly to himself – happily in a role of surrogate parent to a few of the Muppets, but especially Scooter. It was also one of the reasons they had breakfast twice a week; oh, the official reason was to go over ideas or thoughts that had been presented at their Monday meetings and then thoughts on how the show would be the day before.
It was the perfect excuse to ask about anything that was going on in life, for both of them. They may have been boss and employee and sometimes co-workers, but as with all the Muppets, there was an overall friendliness to everything they did with each other. In most cases, it was just the two of them, but every so often Piggy would join them. This was true when the assistant came over to the house for breakfast on Wednesdays or Saturdays, with no need to announce himself; Piggy had given him a key as soon as the locks had been put in.
Business went as usual this Saturday morning, with the two sitting outside on the coffee shop’s patio at one of the rounded tables. The weather had been surprisingly nice that week, with the season deeply entrenched in spring and heading into summer. “How’s it looking so far?” asked Scooter, leaning back and watching people stroll by.
“So far so good,” Kermit answered, taking a moment to drink from his cup. “With Floyd and Janice out of the tournament, I went ahead and green lit the Mayhem and then if we start running short, I told Gonzo to do his thing.”
“So what do we have then?” the assistant asked, pulling out his tablet in order to go over the schedule he held. Scooter had of course taken to technology like a baby to a bottle; his working with Google helped the experience by giving him the latest phone and the latest upgrades, however it was Apple that gave him the needed tablet.
“Well,” the frog began, letting out a sigh. Though he had been happy in the notion that several of them had made into the final rounds, the fact that it was their headliners involved made planning that week’s show ever more difficult. “Chef has wanted to do a segment ever since we said we’d be coming back to the theater and Bunsen and Beaker had said they have something big for tomorrow.”
“What is it?”
“I have no idea,” the frog grumbled. “They said preliminary tests wouldn’t be complete until tomorrow.”
“Well,” Scooter shrugged. “If push comes to shove, in Muppet Labs, only Beaker gets hurt.”
“Yeah,” Kermit agreed. “However, it also means one of us – meaning you – is going to have to talk him into not quitting – again – and putting out any fires that have appeared on his head.”
“No worries, Chief,” the go-fer replied, confidently. “Beakie isn’t gonna quit. He’ll threaten, but he won’t really. At least, I certainly hope not.”
“And then there’s Lew…”
“You actually put him in?”
“He has some weird fish flinging juggling act that actually looked good when he showed it to me.” The frog let that hang for a moment before looking at his stage manager. “There’s something wrong with me; I must be sick.”
“You are looking a little green.”
“Leave the comedy to the bear.”
“We have and look where it’s gotten us.”
Kermit couldn’t help but smirk at that. “It’s unnatural for you to be so chipper, so early,” he chuckled. “I can only guess that you had a rather okay night last night.” The frog sent a knowing look to the red head, causing him to smile shyly.
“It went alright,” he whispered.
“Ah.”
“You…you like her, don’t you, Kermit?”
Kermit had been a frog in the business for many years, with several of those as the leader and director to the motely Muppets. All of those years helped to serve him when met with a question from one of his employees – Fozzie was prone to worrying his pork pie hat, Gonzo tended to fidget, Rowlf would get reflective, and Piggy went the opposite of her normal personality.
Scooter tended to call him by name.
“Amanda?”
“Yeah.”
The question wasn’t exactly unexpectant, but Kermit still had some trouble offering up fatherly advice when called for; he usually just went with what he thought was the right thing to say and what his heart told him. To be honest, he didn’t really spend a lot of time with Amanda last week, his duties as director and zoo handler often kept him from getting to everyone at the same time; hence why he had Scooter.
“I haven’t really spent that much time with her,” he answered honestly. “She certainly seems nice.”
“She’s nice.”
“She seemed like she had a handle on everything.”
“She did.”
“And she is pretty.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Wonder if she has a sister.”
“Yeah…hey!”
Kermit chuckled. “Wanted to see if you were still paying attention.”
“Cute,” Scooter smirked. “Cute joke. I’ll be sure to share that with Piggy later.”
“Not if you still want a job.”
Scooter looked at him knowingly.
“Okay,” the frog amended. “Not if you still want to get in the house.”
Scooter continued to look at him.
“Sheesh,” he groused. “You really are that pig’s assistant.”
“Aw,” the orange laughed, patting his employer and friend on the arm. “No worries, Boss; there’s enough of me to go around. Remember, sharing is caring.”
Pre-show rehearsals for the Sunday night revivals of the Muppet Show usually took most of the day. The reason being was that some acts went on longer than needed or acts were moved around or canceled or added in. There was also the consideration of the guest star, who needed to go through their own acts, and of course, get a crash course in working with the Muppets.
Luckily, many of those guest stars who had previously worked with the Muppets were more than happy to return. Last week’s tournament issues actually worked out because this week’s guest – the wonderful and lovely Julie Andrews – was able to make an appearance work with her schedule, which she was unable to do the week before. It also worked out that Julie was more than aware of how to be around the zaniness that was often exhibited before, during, and after the show.
Kermit loved guests like these.
While many celebrities expressed an interest in working with the group, they never knew what they were getting into until they actually worked with the group; this often meant discovering that the eccentricities and oddities that they saw in the previous show or the movies weren’t made up in the script. Many an actor had run afoul Miss Piggy’s charms, while many an actress had to contend with the affections of Animal.
All of them had to contend with Gonzo, Fozzie, Crazy Harry, Sam, Statler, Waldorf, the list went on and on.
This week of course was certainly an odd one – while there had been numerous shows in which certain performers didn’t have acts in the show or had other commitments, it was rare for a large group to not be around. Kermit hadn’t realized (or perhaps he had forgotten) just how many numbers would be missing Piggy, how many piano pieces wouldn’t be played by Rowlf, the complete lack of a comic monologue by Fozzie, and the over the top and always dangerous stunts by Gonzo; in hindsight, this should have made him quite happy and content.
There was no fighting over songs or fretting over the audience and certainly no idea too small to the outrageous idea that had been too small to top; there would be no hurricane of puns, no ludicrous journeys of a trek of swines, no impossible problem to be solved by a patrol bear…
This should have been the easiest show Kermit had ever done in his entire show business career.
Fate’s a fickle mistress as they say.
At the moment, with Kermit sitting in one of the theater’s seats, the frog wished, begged, pleaded almost to have his normal, wacky, zany, and demanding co-stars back. Perhaps he was growing paranoid, but the dress rehearsal seemed too…good. The Swedish Chef had actually and properly cooked roasted vegetables with some sort of sweet side sauce; Lew Zealand’s crazy fish juggling went off without a hitch; Link Hogthrob’s song about unrequited love was on key; the penguins rendition of Oye Como Va while hanging around a beach was actually good; and the Electric Mayhem hit one out of the park with the jazz standard Take Five.
Everything was going swimmingly.
Something must be wrong.
Kermit knew what it could’ve been – Muppet Labs had yet to show him what it was they did when no one was around and that’s what worried the frog. Usually Bunsen came to him with a new idea and wanted to present it in the Labs segment; this time, Bunsen had come to him with the promise of a new idea that would be ready by showtime.
He knew better; normally, he would have insisted that the good doctor at least give him a lowdown on what exactly he had in mind and how much it would end up hurting his assistant. But he didn’t; Kermit the Frog had been distracted by a flying Zucchini brother and hadn’t even thought about the fact that he wasn’t sure what they were planning.
And now, at dress rehearsal, he still hadn’t seen the myopic doctor or his wild haired assistant and that was troubling. He hadn’t heard any screaming, though, so perhaps that was a point in his favor.
For the moment, at least.
One Hour Earlier
When Kermit and Scooter had arrived at the theater, they had taken the backstage door entrance, with Kermit heading off to sit in the audience while Scooter rounded up those acts that would be performing. What the go-fer did however was to look around for any signs of Floyd Pepper.
He hadn’t seen the musician backstage and briefly wondered if perhaps he was in the orchestra pit with the other band members; that of course would make things difficult, as he would actually need to go onstage in order to speak to Kermit. Scooter made his way slowly towards the curtains, peaking out to see where Kermit was. He couldn’t see Floyd’s distinctive green cap that covered his wild shock of red hair; in fact, he couldn’t see the band at all from this angle, which meant he would need to actually come out on stage.
If only Kermit would take to texting the way Piggy had, came the thought. Taking a deep breath, the go-fer slowly made his way onstage.
Of course, at that exact moment, the frog was actively using his phone – or at least trying to – in order to answer the text he had gotten from said pig. This would cause him to initially miss the tentative steps and frantic arm waving that his stage manager was trying to convey to him. Unfortunately, while Kermit hadn’t seen Scooter enter from stage right, the band – who were very much accounted for and very excited to see the boy – did see his antics.
“Hey, Grofer!”
The infamous tune of “The Stripper” began, effectively stopping Scooter and Kermit both, causing them to look up – Kermit to that of the orchestra pit and thus Scooter standing onstage, while Scooter looked up towards the heavens, willing them to strike him down if they ever truly cared about him.
The music mercifully stopped, allowing for Floyd to throw out, “We wanted to tell you good morning!”
“By playing the most inappropriate song you could possibly think of and that has no impact on my life what so ever?” the stage manager quipped. “Good thinking, Floyd.”
If Floyd Pepper thought that was meant to be insulting, he didn’t take it as such. He was the hippest of the hip, the coolest cat of the cool set; he’d been trading insults with all the Muppets for years. The bassist rasped out a laugh, before saying, “You’re right. How about this one instead?”
“The sailors say Mandy,
You’re a fine girl,
What a good wife you would be.
And our love, our life, you’re my lady
True to be!”
How Floyd managed to get the entire band on the act, he didn’t know, but Scooter really didn’t need to look far; half of the orchestra was made up of members from the Mayhem anyway.
“Oh,” Scooter deadpanned, placing a hand on his side. “My sides. Please stop. No. Really. Please. Stop.”
“If you all are finished…”
“I certainly hope so,” Scooter shouted, when he was finally able to get Kermit’s attention. “Ready for the acts, Chief?”
As Scooter tried to fend off one Muppet Show orchestra lead by Floyd Pepper and Kermit sat through an unnerving amount of bad acts going good, Miss Piggy was running errands of the fashion kind. She often found herself on the hunt for the perfect attire for any occasion, whether it be for an interview or even something to just get the heads turning and the tongues wagging.
For this excursion, she was actually picking up the third part in her series of 1920s moll outfits that she had been wearing for the pool tournament. The first – which she had worn on the last show – had been the start of a new look, something chic, but very much her. She had been surprised when Rowlf of all people had suggested it; never one to ask for fashion advice from her co-stars – while Janice and Camilla could make diva into comfortable, Gonzo seemed to go out of his way to make her eyes gorge themselves with his daily clothing choices – the dog’s idea had merit and she went with it.
Piggy could admit – to herself – that her favorite pianist could often show he had the same sort of fashion sense that he held with knowing just about everything when it came to music. He could be very dashing when he wanted – as could most of the male cast – but he was very laidback when it came to clothing and fashion in general. Their matching outfits – though Piggy’s was more on the feminine side – did wonders for showing people how much of a team they were; the additional bonus was also the fact that they not only worked well together, but absolutely rocked together.
Part two of their series match up, which they had worn the night before, consisted of the same style of white pressed shirt/blouse, tie, and vest, however this time the colors had changed – Piggy’s vest front, tie, and fedora had been the same lavender as her gloves, while Rowlf’s maroon vest and tie had been the perfect balance. Tonight’s ensemble would be the inverse of the first two nights – with colored shirts under the standard black vest and tie. Piggy, of course, would have her matching lavender fedora, but with a band of black going around it.
For such unique and utterly fabulous stylings, there was only place that the diva would go.
The shop was a very small one, but for the designer that ran it, small was really all you needed, especially when you were catering to the big stars in Hollywood. There was no bell that rang when someone came in, the owner would just know someone had entered, thanks to his designing senses that tingled whenever someone even approached the door.
And he was especially good at knowing when Piggy was in the shop.
“Diva!” he cried, coming out from a back room and waving her in. “Get in here!”
Piggy acquiesced, only because Thoreau – just Thoreau, thank you – had been her designer for years and if there was someone other than Kermit that she would actively listen to, it was him. Coming inside the shop, she quickly closed the door behind her and followed the designer into the backroom.
“I don’t want any undesirables getting a look at the creation I made for you,” he responded, pointing to two garment bags that were hanging on a rack. “At least, not until you wow them at your little pool party tonight.”
“Mon ami, vous are a dear to do this for Moi.”
Thoreau waved her off. “Of course I would do it,” he huffed. “As if I’d let one those…clothing pushers put their grubby hands and designs on you. Darling, I’ve said this before – this temple - ” he gestured to her figure. “Is to be clothed in the finest of fashions. I refuse to have you walk around in anything less. It would devastate me.”
“And modest, too,” Piggy smirked, causing the designer to huff once more.
“Please,” he sighed. “If you’ve got it, why not flaunt it? And you and I both know that we have it and we are most certainly flaunting it.” The pig couldn’t help but giggle at that. “When is your little doggie coming to get a fitting? I’m sure you’ll be fine, but you know how I want to make sure everything is perfect.”
“Sometime before lunch,” the starlet responded. “That way we won’t get anything dirty. And Rowlf is definitely not Moi’s dog; he’s not anyone’s dog, by his own admission.”
“Hmm, yes, I got that impression,” Thoreau began. “Do you have time for a quick nosh? My stomach’s been screaming up a storm for the past hour and I haven’t had any gorgeous pigs to have breakfast with.”
The mid-morning breakfast with Thoreau lasted for nearly an hour, allowing the two to catch up, gossip, and talk fashion while eating. Piggy was supposed to meet with Rowlf for lunch around noon, normally a time that she would be having lunch with Kermit. However, as the director and captain, sometimes lunches and dinners with the frog needed to be postponed or moved to another time.
Truth be told, their relationship had been changing – for the better – ever since her return from Paris. Their rift had lasted years, much longer than any time they had ever been mad at each other before and subsequently, it seemed to be taking them a little bit longer to get back to where they had been. They had always said or done things in the past that had hurt the other and in most cases, it was overlooked or glossed over, never being discussed or rather, waiting until the next blow up to be blown out of proportion.
Their last fight however could not be glossed over and pretty demanded not to be overlooked.
Kermit was definitely a very nice frog; he could also be pretty petty and downright scathing when it suited him and his needs. Piggy, on the other hand, could definitely be the diva and self-proclaimed star of the show; she could also get her feelings hurt pretty quickly, especially if something hit a little too close to home.
When Kermit had a bone to pick or had reached his limit, he lashed out and took careful at Piggy’s heart; in turn, Piggy – who never made it a point to be on the defense – went on the offense and struck back. The combination of tactics would cause arguments of epic proportions, which usually led to the pig’s trying her best to contain tears, while the frog tried to take back the words he had said.
Their lasts fight changed the dynamic – Piggy didn’t cry and Kermit’s words couldn’t be taken back. So, she left. And Kermit stayed.
When she had returned, their relationship status went from being off to being on hold. Indefinitely.
But, in their defense, they were both working to switch the on hold to back on, with hopefully only small occurrences of ‘off’. Piggy would’ve liked to have had Kermit all to herself that afternoon, but they both needed to concentrate and be on their best; he had a show to run and she had a tournament to win.
Lunch with Rowlf had been a simple affair. Piggy rarely ate outside of the theater with anyone she worked with (aside from Kermit), however there were occasions in which she, Janice, and Camilla might grab a quick bite in order to have some girl talk away from the mostly male cast and of course, when she needed something from Scooter (or he needed something from her), the two might meet for breakfast or lunch.
If anything, changing the venue did nothing to diminish the easy rapport the two had for one another. Rowlf had always been easy to talk to and their added chemistry in doing Vet’s Hospital and pieces together made it that much easier to team up in the doubles competition.
The two had met for lunch at a cozy coffee shop that Rowlf knew, one that was out of the way and discreet, meaning that no one would know they were there and they wouldn’t be able to tell others about it either; the brown dog prided himself on being able to find the best dives and shops that no one else could. Just like their Muppet Show manager and director, the two also decided to enjoy the beautiful weather by sitting outside, shaded by a large umbrella that was attached to their patio table.
They had pretty much finished, with Piggy lazily picking off Rowlf’s plate, and had instead been chatting contentedly for the duration. Their conversation had started out talking about the show they would be missing, however it quickly turned back to the important matters of their place in the tournament. “The Littles might be a problem,” Rowlf had been saying.
Out of the two of them, the pianist took more of a pragmatic approach to their game; he knew they both had talent, but years as a musician had also taught him that no matter how good you were, there was always someone who was better.
“Please,” Piggy huffed. “We’ll take them down like we have everyone else.”
“Pride before the fall, princess.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
It was a high level of respect and friendship that allowed Piggy to defer control to Rowlf in some cases (not all of course, but some); his knowledge of music far outweighed hers and he had never steered her wrong when it came to choosing a song that fit her range and personality. It also helped that, in regards to personal matters, the dog had never steered her wrong either.
In the case that you haven't heard of The Stripper, here ya go -
And in case you've never of "Brandy" (which Floyd and the orchestra are singing to Scooter), here ya go -
So, as a side note, wanna hear something funny? Guess who ended up doing a haiku for a job position? May Gonzo be with me in this endeavor!
And me interested in what Chef cook up.
: If those Mccome from where I Mcthink they do, I don't think anyone should Mceat them.
What?
