Movies you can't believe exist

[D'Snowth]

I'm glad to see for once a thread that ISN'T mine gets its title edited.

 

[Beakerfan]

Cinderella 2
Jungle Book 2
Peter Pan 2
The Land Before Time 2
The Land Before Time 3
The Land Before Time 4
The Land Before Time 5
The Land Before Time 6
The Land Before Time 7
and on
and on
and on......
etc. etc. etc.

 

[Drtooth]

More about Cool World

Really, that sounded like such a good movie Bakshi was trying to do, but everyone rewrote the thing to make it suck and to give it a crap PG-13 rating. The main problem was that it was supposed to be a horror movie, and everyone wanted to change that special element to make it something crappy and a flat ripoff of Roger Rabbit.

Cinderella 2
Jungle Book 2
Peter Pan 2
The Land Before Time 2
The Land Before Time 3
The Land Before Time 4
The Land Before Time 5
The Land Before Time 6
The Land Before Time 7
and on
and on
and on......
etc. etc. etc.

That's too easy to go after cheap DTV sequels when there are so many actual movie sequels that fit the "WHAT?!?!" factor so nicely.

How about Superman III, lovingly made by the morons that Warner Bros called in to ruin Superman II (now with more guys in hats dropping ice cream cones and cellophane insignia projectiles). A plot line that's out of the WORST of Superfriends, re-envisioned to be a comedy featuring Richard Pryor who they refused to let do any comedy, turning him into the stereotypical cowardly black guy in a movie. Then there's some crap about a computer that turns a woman into a computer, which could have been a plot point, but instead becomes nothing more than a dumb sight gag.

We tend to take it for granted that Batman and Robin was a franchise killing superhero movie, but Superman III was incredibly stupid, not even fit for a Saturday Morning cartoon (and I mean the 1970's Saturday Morning Super Hero cartoons)... even the WonderTwins had more dignity than that. And there's apparently another Superman movie after that I don't believe exists because if the third one is any indication, Superman 4 is about Superman flying to the Planet Bottlecap to pick wild growing toaster ovens to defeat Lenny Bruce who doesn't say anything in the movie.

 

[KirbTreelo05]

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World.

Why would they all of a sudden want the story to be more accurate with Pocahontas' love interest in the sequel, if they already established a relationship between her and John Smith in the original? In the sequel, you're expecting for the two to get back together, but instead you're wondering "Who's this other guy? And why did Pocahontas dump Smith for him?!" If they wanted to be accurate, then they should have gave the characters their appropriate ages and appearances as well...

Every single Brazilian made rip off of Disney and Dreamworks movies out there... Where the heck are the lawyers?

Ugh....My eyes burn just thinking about those atrocities. e_e They need to stop.

 

[D'Snowth]

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I may be a LITTLE open-minded about watching this one... at least they're trying to do a completely different cast of characters, which is what made 3 work: no, Kevin, Harry, and Marv weren't there anymore, but by then, Macaulay Caulkin would've been a little too old to be a convincing seemingly-innocent, yet very mischevious 8-9-10-year old, and you have to admit, the whole idea of Joe Pesci and Danny Stern being bumbling idiots being outwitted by a kid while trying to pull a heist would have been tired in a third movie. #3 worked with a different cast of characters, and a variation on the plot by having secret agents with an international terrorist organization being outsmarted by an 8-year-old is different, but at the same time, it still has that same magic that the first two had (plus, John Hughes was still involved, whereas he wasn't for #4). #4 didn't work because they tried to recast all of the original character, divorce Kevin's parents, have Harry and Marv switch characters, drop the Danny Stern character and replace him with a dame, etc. So yeah, #5 MIGHT work on a similar plane #3 worked, but still, I don't know... without John Hughes' guidance, it would probably fail.

 

[Drtooth]

Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World.

Why would they all of a sudden want the story to be more accurate with Pocahontas' love interest in the sequel, if they already established a relationship between her and John Smith in the original? In the sequel, you're expecting for the two to get back together, but instead you're wondering "Who's this other guy? And why did Pocahontas dump Smith for him?!" If they wanted to be accurate, then they should have gave the characters their appropriate ages and appearances as well...

I get a LOT of criticism for not liking the first one, when I find it highly generous that's the ONLY Disney original animated movie I have a distaste for. I don't know what that movie was trying to do... I mean, if they were doing it as a white guilt movie, they bungled that one up by creating a Snidely Whiplash character for the bad guy that didn't exist. And if historical inaccuracy for the effect of making a better movie was the goal, they didn't exactly make it a better story, nor did they have fun with it (like Inglorious Basterds). If they wanted little boys to like it as well as girls, they didn't add a single character that a boy can like. Not even something more comedic than a raccoon and a pug dog. On all counts, the film was pretty screwed up.

And to make a second one that's almost accurate makes no sense other than marketing.

I may be a LITTLE open-minded about watching this one... at least they're trying to do a completely different cast of characters, which is what made 3 work: no, Kevin, Harry, and Marv weren't there anymore, but by then, Macaulay Caulkin would've been a little too old to be a convincing seemingly-innocent, yet very mischevious 8-9-10-year old, and you have to admit, the whole idea of Joe Pesci and Danny Stern being bumbling idiots being outwitted by a kid while trying to pull a heist would have been tired in a third movie. #3 worked with a different cast of characters, and a variation on the plot by having secret agents with an international terrorist organization being outsmarted by an 8-year-old is different, but at the same time, it still has that same magic that the first two had (plus, John Hughes was still involved, whereas he wasn't for #4). #4 didn't work because they tried to recast all of the original character, divorce Kevin's parents, have Harry and Marv switch characters, drop the Danny Stern character and replace him with a dame, etc. So yeah, #5 MIGHT work on a similar plane #3 worked, but still, I don't know... without John Hughes' guidance, it would probably fail.

I have never bothered with the movies past #2 because no matter what you do, it'll be a rehash. Change the names of the characters all you want, but it's still the same story. The "ghost" angle in this one seems like nothing the Little Rascals probably didn't do better.

 

[Sgt Floyd]

Cool World was completely screwed up. it was so screwed up, Ralph Bakshi punched the studio exec that went behind his back and rewrote the film. It's one of those sad examples of studio execs screwing up artistic vision because of that stupid ratings system. Ralph wanted an R rated movie (like all his others) but they turned it into a PG or PG-13 film because it was animated and we all know animated movies are all kiddy stuff for some reason.

lol, really? Yeah, that person deserved to be punched. Even in its rewritten state it HAD potential, but they blew it with the horrible juxtaposition of cardboard scenery (*facepalm*), toons, and humans and the awful disjointed writing. Maybe it was just me, but I had a hard time following it due to the lack of transitions or explaining of things. But yeah, the original concept sounds pretty awesome.

Anyway

• Wayne's World 2-WWWHHHHHYYYYY? Its like they forgot what made the first one good. They just shoved way too many pop culture jokes at you in rapid fire succession that it just failed on so many levels.
• Freaked-Ugh...all I can say about this is ugh
• The Lion King 1/2-I liked the Lion King 2. I think it also had the better soundtrack. But Timon and Pumbaa did NOT deserve their own movie. The ONLY good thing about this movie was the song "Digga Tunna"

 

[Beakerfan]

Skyline.

It starts off as a big-budget sci-fi film, but they clearly ran out of money at the end. I thought it was great until it they revealed what was actually happening.

 

[Misskermie]

hoodwinked too- The first movie was good, but the second one didn't really have a story.

Spirit- The movie bored me to death, and the horse didn't even talk. That was like, the boringest movie ever, and the first time I watched it, was my last!
(Huh, talk about your "Never Before, and Never Again!")

 

[Hubert]

• Hop (2011)- Was it really necessary to try to commercialize another holiday?

I didn't really mind Hop that much. I thought it was pretty good. Especially the wonderful animation in it.

hoodwinked too- The first movie was good, but the second one didn't really have a story.

I just watched that one recently, it wasn't too bad, after all, there was a Fraggle Rock reference in it.