most young people (even as young as middle school) today think that concept of "love" is sex. Just sex. I know less and less "young couples" are going to the altar because of the economy, and they can't afford to, BUT, there's another reason as well: because they really don't want to go through the trouble; I've known couples who live together, and have adopted the mindframe that "Oh, we don't need a piece of paper with our names on it, and rings on our fingers to prove that we love each other". To them, it's easier to just go ahead, move in with each other, and call themselves a "couple", rather than ask the person to see "Will you marry me?", set a date, make plans and preparations, book churches, honeymoon suites, look for dream homes, etc. Ironically though, studies and research have shown that couples who live together before marriage (if they do get married), are actually nine times more likely to get divorced than couples who don't. Plus, again, they know moving in together ensures them the naughty stuff whenever they want it, because again, to them, that's what love is all about anymore.
You've hit the nail on the head. They don't understand that, hey, if you can afford to live together, you can afford to get married. Maybe not the huge expansive fairy tale wedding everyone seems to think they need, but they can afford a simple wedding. Heck, I got married for under $1000. Church wedding and reception the next day. I made my dress, did my own flowers. We were married in January so I swooped in and bought lots of after Christmas snowflake themed decorations for dirt cheap and had a winter themed reception. Catered by Costco and a cake from Albertsons. Didn't have fancy photographers, we set out disposable cameras and let everyone take pictures. Ok, some of that was dictated by the fact that I was then moving 3000 miles away to be with my new husband in Alaska, but it was still done, and I wouldn't change any of that.
My oldest step daughter and her boyfriend fall into the married in all but a legal sense category. They have lived together for years, have a 3 year old and are closing on a house this week. They have always said they don't need the "piece of paper." But we think we've finally convinced them that the paper is handy for all sorts of things, like insurance coverage now that he has a job with solid benefits, she won't be covered unless they are married. They aren't likely to have a wedding, but they might just be headed to the courthouse sometime soon after the house gets all settled. Both have seen their parent's marriages fall apart for different reasons, but, luckily we've been able to show them what a healthy marriage can be.
Even though my husband is gone from home for weeks at a time for work, and was deployed for a year, they see us work together and support one another and that we can and do trust each other, even when we are apart, we are keeping each other in mind.
Solid relationships take a lot of work and a lot of people today just don't want to have to do any of it; the believe that if it takes work then that's a "sign" that it's not meant to be. All that is a sign of is that you are 2 very different people who have to WORK together to make a relationship work. Give and take, love and cherish, better or worse, that whole deal.
I won't be celebrating Valentines Day this year. My husband is gone this week, and even if he were home, I'm on an insane diet this week and can't have anything anyway (hey, it's the first thing that's worked since my car accident in 2007, so I'm happy, but man I want a thick slice of bread with fresh butter and honey, and some chocolates.. heh..) but it doesn't matter. V-Day is just a day. Hubby's bad with it anyway; flowers are dead weeds, and, come on, he bought me rubber boots one year.. lol but it doesn't matter. We have love every day and that is what matters.
Meanwhile, I will use the day to either watch sappy girly movies that he can't stand since he's not here, or I might go another route and watch some heart ripping Indiana Jones
If you're in Alaska, I'd invite you over, either way, but the whole no salt, no sugar, no starchy carbs, no dairy diet thing means snacks would be limited to celery sticks, salad, rice cakes, and bell pepper strips..
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