The corny joke thread

[Oscarfan]

What's blue, has horns and flies?






















































Something that's blue, has horns and flies!

*Opens paycheck envelope* Uh apparently, I owe my boss money.

 

[Teheheman]

I probably told this one here already, but I'll tell it again cause frankly, I don't wanna go through 30 pages of bad jokes just to find my stupid one I probably already told. So, here ya go.
I had a friend who was at the store and met the girl of his dreams in the produce section, they got the talkin and one thing led to another and they ended up going out. They went out for a long time and then he decided to pop the question. He decided to do it where they first met, so he took her to the same store, and when they were shopping in the produce section, he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. She said Yes, but on one condition. They had to get a traditional wedding cause her parents wouldn't let her just go off to Vegas and get married. He said "I guess that means we Cantelope", she said "Yeah, if our parents lettuce" but they didn't and they had a traditional wedding. It was berry berry good, some might even say grape. He saved enough money and surprised her with a 24-carrot ring. They were gonna have their honeymoon in the Apple-achian Mountains, where they had reservations at the Embassy Beets. But, they got a surprise when they got a reservation at the Radishon in Cherry Grove, NY. I guess it was a price you couldn't beet. But, they've been together for a while, and they make a really nice pear.
There's probably more, but I can't remember.

Daniel

 

[ngreen522]

waah waah waaaaaaahhhhhhhh....

 

[ngreen522]

Did you know you can change your nationality just by moving from room to room? For instance, standing in your hallway, your American, but in your bathroom, European!


… Get it? .. Eur - o – pean…..

 

[Ilikemuppets]

Did you know you can change your nationality just by moving from room to room? For instance, standing in your hallway, your American, but in your bathroom, European!


… Get it? .. Eur - o – pean…..

Yes I do. But I guess don't know what to say? *Is speechless*

 

[ngreen522]

hhmmm.... was that offensive? I know nationality can be a touchy subject. .. and I can be pretty darn ignorant sometimes on account of the fact that I think just about everything is funny. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I honestly don't want to.

...... Which is why I don't post in the "Am I the only one" thread...

 

[Oscarfan]

Knock knock.

Who's there?

General Lee.

General Lee who?

Generaly I don't tell knock-knock jokes!

*opens paycheck envolope* Is that a captapult in here? *flings tomatos at my face* I knew I should've been a doctor.

 

[Ilikemuppets]

hhmmm.... was that offensive? I know nationality can be a touchy subject. .. and I can be pretty darn ignorant sometimes on account of the fact that I think just about everything is funny. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I honestly don't want to.

...... Which is why I don't post in the "Am I the only one" thread...

I'm not European or anything, and I don't know if anybody who is from their is offended. But I guess I was a little suprised at something else, Thats the thing I was thinking about, anyway. But I guess you shouldn't worry too muhc because there are people on here who have posted worse...

 

[ngreen522]

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

..they kept saying "Bach, Bach, Bach"

 

[ngreen522]

How does the man in the moon cut his hair?


... Eclipse it!

LOL