Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia: Playing her keyboard (set to organ) to Davy Jones' theme almost violently. Nimble fingers brushing against the keys from right to left. Her body hunched foward, as if clinging to it.

Dr. Van Neuter:The nutcase has gone nuts!
She's been playing that song since she came back from school!

Blind Pew: Give her time, zyou peacock!
Shuts the door slowly.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Omg!

Bunsen:
Gentlemen, who'd like to embark on an intellectual quest?
My friends, I intend to challenge your mind--and wit...
when I ask...
Am I...erm...hip?

Claudia: Lowers the window of her Mercedes Benz,
then lowers her sunglasses questioningly.


Dr. Van Neuter: Push pure range, Claudia!
STEP ON IT!


Beaker: MEE MEE!

Composta: PUMPKIN! MAKE HER GOOO!


Dr. Van Neuter: HURRY UP!


Bunsen: Wait! I've yet to prove myself to you!
I can indeed be ghetto!
I can be hip as a hip!
I...I..


Claudia: Is shoved out the car
AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Lands on a puddle of mud


Bunsen: Aw, you shouldn't have!
Now come with me, dearie!
You won't regret it!


[Claudia is dragged by a child-lke Bunsen--who happens to be skipping up to the lab]


Bunsen:
Here I am,
in the lab.
I know you must be thinking I'm too bald and nerdy.
Think I'm just too bald and nerdy.
Can't you see I'm bald and nerdy?


I want to boogie with the hippies,
but so far they all think I'm too bald and nerdy.
Think I'm just too baldand nerdy.
I'm just too bald and nerdy.

Walks into his makeover machine and comes out with
typical gangster clothes.

First class here at MCD,
I've skills in MSD,
I managed to even get a PH.D!

Keep your tea, I'll just work with Beakie!

My plans tend to go awry,
everything goes contrary!

All of my ideas are quite cherry,
especially with the ladies,
til they dump me over at the library.

My lab is accuratley pimped out,
I've got people begging for my top eight spaces,
Oo, I know pi to a thousand places!
Don't have any frills, nor do I have any braces...

I highly dislike mayonaise,
however I'm a wiz at games and could play for days!
Once you observe my ways,
I promise you'll be amazed.

Looks into a mirror...
The mirror breaks.

No computer I haven't run...
At twiddling I'm number one,
I do advanced quantum physics just for fun!
I'm certain I haven't a gat, but I do have a dangerous gun!
Blinded me with Science is my favorite theme song!

Puts on an afro

I could certainly kick your buttock in a game of ping-pong!
(Pardon me!)
I'll ace any device you could bring on!
I'm fluent in java script and kilgon!

They see me blow up Beakie!
I know in my heart they think I'm utterly bald and nerdy.
I guess...I am....

Claudia:
Dies

Bunsen: Done?
Oh Claudia, please do say something.
Gasps lightly
No wonder you can't say anything!
You died!

Claudia:
Unmoving

Bunsen:
Turns around sadly
Am I cursed to being, as they say, not-so-hip?
Sobs

Claudia:
Runs out of the room

Bunsen:
You live!
Claudia!
Come back!
Please!
Follows her

Claudia:
Runs through the hall

Bunsen:
Wait!

Claudia:
Falls to the ground

Bunsen:
Oh dear!
She died again!
She rose from the dead...
but she died again!
I must tell the press!
Runs off to do so.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Storyteller: (poking head out) All right, who's beating themselves over the head with a baseball bat?

(others are huddled over Scrabble board)

Beige: (placing letters) Concussion...on a triple letter score. Your turn, Nora.
Nora: All right...(placing letters) Fracture. (selects new letters)
Scooter: My go...(placing letters) Hematoma. Pass the letters, please.
Erin: Let's see...(placing letters) Aneurysm, on a double letter score...
Beige: Am I seeing a trend here?
Nora: Maybe. (looks at letters) Aw, no, all I've got is consonants.
Scooter: If we were playing in Welsh, you'd be in good shape. (looks at letters and sighs) As for me, I need Old Russian.
Erin: (looks at letters) And I need Japanese. Your turn, Beige.

 

[The Count]

*Meanwhile... Uncle D sparks Claudia back to life with a shot of blue lightning from his paranormal palms.

Did I hear Erin and her group in another heavy game of Scrabble? Loved the game show version. Also I wanted to ask... Seems like Muppet Wiki says that Lady Guenevere from one of the Great Moments in Elvis History segments was based on Scooter's pattern. Wanted to know how true that is, given I can't verify for myself due to my blind batty eyes.
Oh well... *Waits for Claudia to be brought back to life so she can post and I can read more fanfic.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Yes, Ed - the basic puppet's a dead ringer for Scooter. Different eyes, though - they're female Whatnot eyes, with no glasses.

Beige: So what you're saying is that she's Scooter in drag. (cackles)
Scooter: Aw, Beige, knock it off. (quickly places letters) Ha! Xiphoid, on a triple word score!
Nora: Ouch!
Beige: And I wanted that triple word spot...hey, wait, is that even a word?
Erin: Hold on...(hauls up well-worn Webster's) Hmm...yes, it is. It's part of the sternum. The rib cage. (closes book) My go...(places letters) Axon.
Nora: We're going in for the medical terms tonight. Must be the battery going on in the hallway.
Storyteller: Which seems to have stopped...but Claudia seems to be undergoing shock treatment.
Beige: How do you spell "electrolysis?"
Scooter: Guys, we're going to have to switch to shorter words or we're going to run out of letters soon.

For the record, Ed, my most lethal Scrabble play was "division." I got all my letters on the board at the same time, and on a triple word score. 86 points.

 

[Katzi428]

yawn...laying on the couch with my eyes closed
Prairie:Hey Kath...I'm surprised you're not playing Scrabble with Erin and the others.
I would.But my brain's too tired.And so's the rest of me. Never again am I going to a physical therapy appointment at 8 in the morning.Too darn early!
Rosita: Si..you sure were crabby this morning when you got up.
Sorry.At least I have a slightly later appointment tomorrow.When I come back though,I'm going back to bed.
Prairie:Why don't you go to bed now? TV's broken anyway.We'll be getting a new one tomorrow.
All right.G'nite girls.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Beth: *sigh* I've been a bad roommate lately.
Mokey: It's ok, we know you're dealing with alot of stuff not dorm related.
Beth: I just want you girls to know that I miss hanging out with you all the time
Wanda: It's ok
Beth: Tell you what, how about we have a girls only movie marathon tonight, what do you think about that?
Abby: Can we make popcorn?
Beth: Sure!
Red: Ooh and sprinkle it with doozer dust?
Beth: Um, sure how about on only some of it though
Red: Fair enough
Wanda: So should we go to the video store?
Beth: Yeah, in a bit, I've got a few things to do first. This will be be fun tonight guys and just what I've been needing.

 

[Katzi428]

Prairie:You all right?
Yeah...I think I just expected too much of myself today.Doing that standing up on one foot without holding onto anything really did me in. I felt like a failure.
Rosita:You're not a failure,Kathy.Like you said you did too much today.Your therapist said you were doing fine and that you shouldn't feel like one. And your mom said so too.
But I was practically in tears when I almost fell.That was embarrassing!
Prairie:At least they're understanding.And it's OK to be upset or embarrassed.I'm sure you weren't the only one that's been that way.
I guess so.
Rosita:You look tired.At least you can sleep in tomorrow.Plus you can watch TV in bed tonight.
You're right.Goodnight,girls.
Prairie:Wait..Kath?
Yeah?
Prairie hugging me:Smile,OK? You'll feel better tomorrow.
Rosita hugging me tooPrairie's right,Kath.You'll be all right.
Gaffer coming out of her bed,purring ,rubbing her head against me and giving me kitty kisses
Well I guess it's unanimous!All three of you care! See you tomorrow.hugging them
Gaffer follows me to my room & hops onto my bed.Merow.
OK Gaffer...you can sleep with me.Nite kitty.

 

[The Count]

*Leaves a little gift coupon at Room 6 saying... You have received this stub, redeemable for one crazy Grover arms hug. If you continue on the current funk, this ticket will then be exchanged for one pickle-flavored ice cream sundae with marashino cherries delicious to all grouches. Even us creatures of the night know there's a ray of hope in the gloom... Shining in the fireplace. Yes, there's a light, over at the Frankenstein place. There's a light... Um, sorry, collapsed into song there for a moment. At any rate... Smiles Kathy. But know it's okay to feel the way you feel. *Wonders if I should ask for that song Bert and Ernie did about being happy and being sad at the same time for my furriend. Night all.

Ailie, you're on sponsors duty tonight.

 

[BEAR]

Cookie: Me do it, Mr. Ed! Muppet Dorm brought to you today by letter V and number 4! (holds up two cookies, one with a V and the other with a 4) Muppet Dorm production of Muppet Central. (scarfs down both cookies) Urp!