Commercial rant time...

[fuzzygobo]

There were also the commercials of the spouses (both straight and gay) stealing all the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms, leaving their partner with the crusty oats. Might as well feed them to a horse.

 

[D'Snowth]

That reminds me of this:

http://idget.comicgenesis.com/d/20021022.html

 

[Drtooth]

I find it funny looking at adult cereal commercials for kid's cereals. I'm casting aside the "look at how healthy we are" ads, because those are tricky (Bran flakes have the same amount of sugar kid's good tasting cereals have, BTW). Kid's cereals tend to skew towards the "magical lands where anything can happen and often does" type, to state the obvious. Talking Rabbits refused the cereals they're on the boxes of, Birds going insane for chocolate... stuff like that. Adults ones, well...

• The "this is actually healthy" angle
• the inner child angle
• bafflingly using the same ads as the kids do with alternate narration
• The "I buy this for my kids so we can have fun" angle
• The "You can use this to make something else" angle (that usually has some type 4 in there as well)

Now, I really get age specific depressed at that one where the adults play Super Mario Bros. while eating Froot Loops. The aforementioned Minionized, cannibalistic Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces ad was marketed towards women somehow (told ya it was baffling) during daytime television. Because if it's one thing adult women want, it's a cereal sold by deranged mutant cereal pieces that delight in eating each other in a way that's just a bit too disturbing to be shaken off as a cartoon.


Might as well add a couple things that sort of bug me.

There's a Cheerios commercial that shows the pieces being used as pixels in recreations of video games (which I can't imagine aren't permitted by their rights holders, no matter how vague they look). It's not that I don't dig the commercial, but there really seems to be no connection, at least any thoughtful one, between the cereal and video games other than "look! We recreated video games with cereal pieces." There's just a block of text at the end that says "Game on." What? Is it saying that video games are more fun if you eat cereal between pauses? I just don't get it.

And here's something that started bugging me. Let's just say Cracked was right about Tony the Tiger. How come in every commercial he's just...there? Like he's always voyeuristically staring at kids in someone's home. Like a weird, distant ex-husband or step father or something. There's an ad where a girl and her father are pouring bowls of cereal to watch Soccer, and he's there watching them pour the cereal until he sneaks in at the end behind them. It's...creepy.

 

[mr3urious]

bafflingly using the same ads as the kids do with alternate narration

Years ago, Fruity Cheerios used that same "Happiness Runs in a Circular Motion" song in a rock version for kids and in a soothing guitar version for adults. Both still used those terrible-looking CGI/green screen kids, though.

The "I buy this for my kids so we can have fun" angle

One for Chex that showed how a whole family bought several varieties of Chex to eat had the adults pretty much say that the chocolate kind (which is delicious, BTW) was just for them. Otherwise that will imply that they're bad parents or something.

 

[D'Snowth]

And here's something that started bugging me. Let's just say Cracked was right about Tony the Tiger. How come in every commercial he's just...there? Like he's always voyeuristically staring at kids in someone's home. Like a weird, distant ex-husband or step father or something. There's an ad where a girl and her father are pouring bowls of cereal to watch Soccer, and he's there watching them pour the cereal until he sneaks in at the end behind them. It's...creepy.

Dude, what about the Burger King? You wake up in the morning, open the blinds, there he is covered in birds handing you a breakfast sandwich. Or you roll over in bed, there he is lying next to you and accidentally places his hand on yours.

 

[Drtooth]

The Burger King was intentionally creepy because...well... somehow creepy and offputting ads (Puppy Monkey Baby for one) are somehow more buzzworthy than a well done ad. Aren't half the "jokes" in those commercials that he's a creeper, anyway?

Tony the Tiger, however? There's just something wrong about how he just appears there near the kids like that. And not in some creepy pedo way. Like the step father from the second failed marriage trying to keep an eye on his kids, and the parents are perfectly fine with it. It seems that he lives vicariously through them and then goes home to his run down apartment and drinks until he passed out in a puddle of his own silent tears.

 

[D'Snowth]

So here's Snickers' pathetic attempt to try to top their Danny Trejo Brady Bunch commercial from last year:

The fact that they even tried to top that one was a mistake to begin with.

 

[fuzzygobo]

Tony used to be more active in his commercials. At sporting events or any athletic competition, there was always some little kid who couldn't measure up to his peers.
Tony would take them under his wing, have breakfast with them (even at 4 in the afternoon) and the once-wimpy kid is leaving his opponents in the dust.

Around 2000, there were a few ads with Tony exercising and joining kids in their activities. While jogging, Tony trips over his tail. While riding on hoppity hops, Tony's pops like a balloon. The once-mighty tiger is now a bumbling klutz.

Now he's literally a cardboard cutout in his own ads. As one of my favorite mascots, he deserves better.

 

[Drtooth]

So here's Snickers' pathetic attempt to try to top their Danny Trejo Brady Bunch commercial from last year

I'd say "I had a Willem Defoe under my bed," but you don't watch or like Family Guy, so you wouldn't get the quote anyway. Probably wouldn't get the How I Met Your Mother joke about his name sounding like a frog and parrot talking to each other, either.

Agreed 100%, the Brady Bunch one was kinda fun, and something tells me it's Quentin Tarantino's favorite commercial of all time. I mean, 1960's-70's pop culture reference, Danny Trejo and Steve Buschemi... those are two of his favorite actors, right? I'm not a fan of that show, even ironically (you all know I'm a Get Smart man), but I absolutely loved that commercial. Even more than the one with Robin Williams, and he's one of my favorite comedians.

This one's just... they exhausted the joke. They had fun with Godzilla, Betty White, and Brady Bunch. Now's the time to move onto another ad series. Not to mention the fact they teased the commercial as well. I kinda hate that.

Now for another personal rant. It's not so much about ads, but the fact I HATE when Youtube has either "banned commercials" or "Worst local commercials" as the title to a video. Cracked had a great video I can't link here due to language and content about how companies that can't afford to buy Super Bowl ad time, so they just release them free to Youtube with the "Too Racy for the Super Bowl" headline. It's a scam.

But the "Worst Commercials" stuff... well, I hate that for one reason. They always put Toby Jones's comedy routine ads (Toby Jones's Big $$@ Truck and Storage, Toby Jone's Good $$@ BBQ and Foot Massage, etc I highly recommend watching these on YT) into the mix. Obviously they're supposed to be bad, it's a comedy routine. If I want to see bad commercials, I want to see ones that actually advertise a product and are terrible. Like the Knee Brace thing with both white and black Grammas.

Tony used to be more active in his commercials. At sporting events or any athletic competition, there was always some little kid who couldn't measure up to his peers.
Tony would take them under his wing, have breakfast with them (even at 4 in the afternoon) and the once-wimpy kid is leaving his opponents in the dust.

Agreed there too. Tony and Sam are my favorite Kelloggs mascots. Sam's still doing his usual explorer schtick with the follow your nose tagline. They've been using his Huey, Dewey, and Louie knockoffs for years now. Tony's just become, bizarre. While I'm not on board with the sugary cereals= healthy energy concept, I get the athletic angle of these ads. I mean you need to be active to work that sugar off, right? And the kid's cereal commercials are still like that, with him as the coach. But when he follows them home for the adult commercials...shudder. It comes off as way too invested in children's athletics. But only in a "I have nothing else to keep on living" sort of depressing way. Kinda want to see him on wacky adventures like Sam and most of the Big G mascots.

 

[fuzzygobo]

Back in the late 70's/early 80's Tony did get to venture out a little. One ad I really liked, a group of cowboys were griping about eating crappy oatmeal (looked more like glue). Along rides Tony on his horse, looking like Clint Eastwood. He offers his Frosted Flakes, but they sneer "Ain't that kiddie food??!!" After one taste, they're sold, and grown-ups can enjoy Flakes too- guilt free!

The only bizarre moment, as Tony leaves, he tells the cowboys, "Some folks call 'em...GRITS!"
Any True Grit reference would not only go over kids' heads, but most adults too.