When a Muppet says...

[Twisted Tails]

This kind of dialogue will always make my day.

I love anything Wembley and Boober say no matter what and it is not just the episode "Scared Silly"

 

[TheWeirdoGirl]

Uncle Deadly in The Muppets blooper reel:

"I should sign some glossies. I really should."

 

[ploobis]

"Mister the Frog, we agreed that a Celebrity is not a People!"

 

[misspiggy5260]

Holy maracas.

 

[cjd874]

I'm surprised that good old Sgt. Floyd Pepper hasn't gotten that many mentions. I love how much of an outright wisecracker he is, especially in the Raquel Welch episode, when Fozzie tries to change his attitude and personality.
Kermit: Way to go, that was very cute…sick but cute.
Floyd: Sick but cute? (Fozzie enters.)
Fozzie: Uh, you guys were talking about me, right?
Kermit: Uh no.
Floyd: Uh, YEAH! HAHAHAHAH!!!
(After Kermit is forced to cancel Fozzie's act, this exchange occurs…one of my all-time favorites.)
Fozzie: You see, that was my problem: my need to tell jokes.
Floyd: Yeah! That was OUR problem, too! AH-HAHAHAHAHAH!!! (exits)

And then there's the Carol Channing episode, when Miss Piggy has a hard time with her new shoes.
Floyd: Hey, Cinderella! Who sold you the slippers? A shoe salesman or a SAUSAGE STUFFER? AAAAHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Miss Piggy: Floyd dear, before you say anything more, why don't you jot down your next of kin? It'll be easier for the authorities.
(After Miss Piggy embarrasses herself in front of Kermit when he wants to see her in her shoes, Kermit exits for the next number.)
Kermit: Oh, the next number is on! It's one of my favorite songs!
Miss Piggy: What's that?
Floyd: "Your Feet's Too Big!" HAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Miss Piggy: HIIII-YAAA!!! (smacks Floyd and he falls)

 

[tutter_fan]

I think the newsman is hilarious depending on how he announces a newsflash!

It's either "This is a Muppet newsflash!", "THIS IS A MUPPET NEWSFLASH!" (if he reads it quite loudly) or "AND NOW, A MUPPET NEWSFLASH!"

there's one I forgot: "AND NOW, A MUPPET NEWS BULLETIN!!!!"

 

[tutter_fan]

My new favorite one-liner happens to be the one where Constantine says "My name, space bar, space bar, space bar, your name". I'll never get tired of hearing that, especially in that good Russian accent he has!

 

[JimAndFrank]

Whenever a Muppet cries out, "MODULATE!" during a song. It is such a Henson-ish thing to do.

Rowlf during Coddleston Pie: Now this is where the song changes key....It's what we call a modulation.....That's G sharp minor.....

Marvin Suggs: Shut-UP!

Kermit in IAVMMC: I wish I had never been B-O-R-N: Born! I wish I had never been born....
Psst-psst, come close.......I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!

SOMEBODY'S CHECKING IN!!!???

And last but certainly not least:

Light the lamp, not the rat. LIGHT THE LAMP-NOT THE RAT!!!

 

[tutter_fan]

I don't know if this counts, but the song "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee (An Actor's Life for Me)" has some of the best dialogue between Fozzie Bear & Rowlf!

 

[cjd874]

Whenever a Muppet cries out, "MODULATE!" during a song. It is such a Henson-ish thing to do.

Rowlf during Coddleston Pie: Now this is where the song changes key....It's what we call a modulation.....That's G sharp minor.....

That reminds me of the English Country Garden song from the Jaye P. Morgan episode: one of the best things Jim and Frank ever did on the Muppet Show.

(Rowlf and Fozzie are feverishly playing the piece, and Fozzie's hat falls off.)
Rowlf: Hey, can you play hatless?
Fozzie Bear: What?
Rowlf: I said, can you play hatless?
Fozzie Bear: I don't know…who wrote it?

Makes me laugh every time.