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The Time the Muppets Beat Time

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by theprawncracker, Jan 7, 2006.

  1. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    True... Spotted him here in the "Online" section lately... Maybe he'll come back later... We hope.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  2. DTF

    DTF Member

    I'm pretty sure that was right. The Giants would have been playing then, not the Ynakees, but that's okay because there was only one major league team in New York at that point. (American league formed in 1901, and theidn't have a New York team till 1903.) Just seeing a score with "New York" attached would make Dr. Teeth think the Yankees. And, besides, it fit in with all the other confusion the characters were having - French Revolution, Spanish versus Mexican American War, and so on. Wonderful job.

    Funny, but I think the Count gave his age as...a pretty big number. So, while Sesame Street might not be there, the Count could be. I wonder if you can squeeze him into your story.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  3. christyb

    christyb New Member

    Wow, this is reallly good. I know that no progress can be made until Lisa gets back, buuuttt to keep it alive here's a little

    *bump*
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  4. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Now you know why Ryan has co-onwership over Lisa's stuff and her lines and pretty much almost everything else.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  5. muppetwriter

    muppetwriter Active Member

    I'm really enjoying this story. There are a lot of members on MC that can write some superb time-traveling tales.:) I like how you two portray Clifford in this story; though I never really saw him and Skeeter as a couple, I enjoy how you make the chemistry between them work. And I also love how you guys make Scooter seem so over-protective (it makes me feel glad that I'm not that way towards my sister and her new boyfriend:D).

    I'm also getting a good history lesson, each time the Muppets enter a new timeline.;)

    I'm really impressed over how you write the dialogue for characters like Swedish Chef, Pepe, Rizzo, and Beaker. I could really learn a lot about how to do it as perfectly as it has been done in this story. If some of you read my most recent tales, I seem like I got the characteristics down; but I need improving on the dialogue.


    Can't wait to read more.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  6. Effralyo

    Effralyo Active Member

    :lol: A-ha, and do you remember how you ate a blackberry pie slice and got all messed up in jam, Cliffik? :)
    (Thankees to the author.)
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  7. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Um...This post is to bump the thread and has no further purpose...I swear...*shifty eyes*
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  8. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    *In Dr. Evil voice: Riiiiiiiight...
    Do I expect you to friggin' post an update here? Come on, throw me a friggin' update.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  9. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    We'd be happy to, if there was an update to throw. But like Prawnie said, it's... Just a bump. <Shifty eyes>
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  10. Leyla

    Leyla Member

    <more shifty eyes... baffled ones>
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  11. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Yes, Leyla, you should have the baffled-est of the shifftiest...Baffled...Eyes...Erm...Yeah
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  12. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Ready? <Cough> teddy bears <cough> <Ahem> Excuse me... I just need a drink of water... <cough> get teddies <cough>
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  13. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    Chapter 6

    The light reappeared from the clouds on the muggy New York day, and as if on cue, all seventeen Muppet time travelers groaned.

    "Aw, but I wanted to go to Sesame Street," Robin moaned.

    "We'll go some other time, Robin," Kermit said as the light began to suck them up. "Hopefully, in the present. Er... Maybe that's the future."


    ??????????????????


    Beaker fell on his back on the hard wood floor. He turned his tall head from side to side examining his surroundings. On both sides he saw endless blue ocean.

    "Ahoy there red!" a scruffy voice called from behind Beaker. "It seems ye be a stow away on me ship."

    "Mo mee mee?" Beaker meeped.

    "Yes you boy! Now get up, get up! Wha's your name, eh?" the pirate said drawing his sword and pointing it at Beaker.

    "Mee... Mee... Mee me me meep, mou meep mee me mee," Beaker meekly meeped.

    Another pirate stood manning the helm. He stared down at his captain and the red headed stow away. He rubbed his head, "Great...Now the cap'n's two sheets to the wind, and the freak-o over there's three..." he muttered, sailing the ship down the big blue.

    "Well mate, I won't take me sword away until you tell me your-" the pirate captain hesitated. "...Tell me, mate," he said, "Is it... typical for you to have TWO shadows on ye when there only be ONE man there t'cast a shadow?"

    Death turned his cloaked head down to the pirate captain. "HAVE ANOTHER," Death said, as a bottle of rum appeared in his bony hand. "AS I RECALL, YOU GET FOUR SHEETS TO THE WIND LATER TODAY," the chilled voice said.

    The pirate stared. He slowly lifted his hand and looked at his own bottle of rum, then looked at the bottle Death was offering, and finally straight into Death's hood. "Haven't I seen you before someplace?" he said.

    If Death had eyes, he would have rolled them. "YOU AND YOUR FLUNKIES KEPT ME SO BUSY THIS YEAR THAT I MISSED TEA WITH WAR FOUR TIMES," Death said shoving the rum in the pirate’s hands. "NOW GO, LEAVE ME AND MR. BEAKER IN PEACE."

    "Oh, that's your name, eh mate?" the pirate said to Beaker as he staggered away. "Mr. Beaker... Well whatever floats you two's boat..."

    "Mee me moo mo mo moat!" Beaker said.

    "YES YOU FOOL, HE DOESN'T HAVE A BOAT," Death replied blankly.

    Death placed a bony hand on Beaker's shoulder. "MR. BEAKER, I HAVE COME TO DELIVER A MESSAGE FOR YOU FROM THE ARCHANGELS," Death began. "WE HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU SHALL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO PERISH FROM THE INVENTIONS OF DR. BUNSEN HONEYDEW. YOU WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO DIE OF NATURAL PURPOSES, AND SHALL BE PROTECTED BY ME AND THE OTHER ARCHANGELS FOR ALL ETERNITY."

    Beaker sighed. "Mou mo mee me mou mo me meemeemee?" he meeped.

    Death grabbed Beaker by the collar of his lab coat. "YOU DARE ARGUE THE RULING OF ARCHANGELS?" he asked sternly.

    Beaker trembled. "Mo mee," he meeped. "Memee!"

    Death let Beaker fall on the deck. "GOOD, NOW IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I MUST BE OFF. I HAVE A DISOBEDIENT PHANTOM TO DEAL WITH," Death said. He extended his hand and opened another time portal, and entered, leaving Beaker in the middle of the ocean on a pirate ship.

    "Mee... Mee..." Beaker looked around at the pirate ship, panicking as was his custom. "Mee mee mee meeee?" he whimpered.

    Beaker's panic lifted when he saw a time portal reappear and Death stuck his upper body out. "OH, DO FORGIVE ME, YOUR BOSS, DR. HONEYDEW SENDS HIS APOLOGIES ABOUT YOUR RIGHT KIDNEY," Death said before disappearing once again.

    Beaker stared at where the portal had been. "Me mee meemee?"


    ??????????????????


    Scooter held an icepack over his swelling cheek as he leaned against Kermit's desk. He glared at Clifford, who was also leaning on Kermit's desk, talking on the phone to Skeeter.

    Or at least trying to.

    "Dang, she's not answerin'," Clifford said. "Hey babe, it's me. Don't worry about what I said earlier, I was just jokin' you know. And it was all part of an act on the show this week. Call me back later babe, see-" the phone clicked. "Dang answerin' machines..."

    "Gee, wonder why she's not answering," Scooter said sarcastically. He reached for the phone. "Let me try."

    Scooter grabbed Clifford's cell phone from his hand and dialed the number. Scooter waited as the phone rang on the other end. "Hmm, she must not be home," Scooter said, rolling his eyes. "Hey Skeet, it's your loving brother, just wanted to check up on you and see if you've dumped that purple cheat yet, call me back!" said Scooter leaving the message.

    "Hey give me that!" Clifford snatched at the phone and tried to talk into it. "Baby don't-" But the phone clicked again. Clifford threw it onto the desk. "Stupid phones."

    "It's not the phone that's stupid..." Scooter muttered.

    "I'm not the one walkin' around with a cheek the size of Manhattan," Clifford countered.

    "We already took Manhatten, remember? Oh wait, you wouldn't you're too busy CHEATING ON MY SISTER!" Scooter shouted.

    "Can you get it?" a voice called from behind the two of them before Clifford could give Scooter San Fransisco to match Manhatten. "Hey, you missed!" Lew Zealand shouted, running to Kermit's desk. "Well, we'll have to try it again Sweetums...Oh! Hey guys!" he said, just now noticing Clifford and Scooter.

    "Lew..." Scooter moaned. "What are doing? ...And do I want to know?"

    "Oh. Oh! Well you see, Sweetums and I were playing boomerang fish football! Yeah, yeah, it's fun! But Sweetums keeps eating the fish...He's gone through Anne, Kelly and just now Tabby..." Lew sighed.

    "Um... Well, then... try Jana," Scooter suggested.

    Clifford took this opportunity to sneak away from Scooter's rage and went on stage to check on Bunsen. "Yo, yo Dr. Dew, how's it hangin'?"

    Bunsen looked up from the time machine at Clifford. "Well first of all my good man, I am no yo-yo, and I'm not hanging, my feet are clearly on the ground. Now do excuse me while I figure out how to get Beaker's right kidney out of the Crusades," the scientist said returning to his work.

    ??????????????????​

    Rowlf let out a strange cross between a grunt and a bark as his head hit a plank of wood and several other Muppets fell on top of him. "Kermit," he groaned, "I'm starting to wonder how long it'll be before this whole time-traveling business renders us all unconscious."

    "You mean how long it takes us all to put three sheets to the wind?" Kermit asked, rubbing his head.

    "Um... sure," Rowlf said. "Whatever that means."

    Rizzo suddenly jumped up. "GOODNESS GRACIOUS- GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!" he shouted.

    "Man that reeks of us!" Dr. Teeth said.

    "Dr. Teeth, Animal reeks anyway!" Floyd replied.

    "No, guys, I'm really serious!" Rizzo pointed at the sky. "Great balls of fire!"

    "That is so cool!" Gonzo shouted.

    It was not until then that they looked around and saw that many of the near-by buildings were on fire, and sure enough, there was even fire in the sky. They were on a wooden sidewalk, which seemed to be getting warmer, somehow, and...

    "GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

    A cow bell rang loudly as a Muppet cow darted past the group on the ground. "I'm so sorry Mrs. O'Leary! I didn't mean to! Please don't make me into a cheeseburger!" the cow shouted.

    "YOU'RE BLOCKING THE SIDEWALK!" Someone shouted at them. "LET US THROUGH!"

    "The roof! The roof is on fire!" another person yelled.

    "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

    "SURF! SURF FOR YOUR LIVES!"

    "RUN FOR THE LAKE!"

    "BUT I CAN'T SWIM!!!!!"

    "BUT WE DON'T HAVE A BOAT!!"

    "RUN TO THE RIVER!"

    "BUT WHAT DO WE DO WHEN THE RIVER MEETS THE SEA?"

    "DON'T GO TO THE RIVER! THAT'S ON FIRE, TOO!"

    "Um excuse me," Fozzie pulled the sleeve of a passer-by. "Can you please tell us what's going on here?"

    "THE WHOLE CITY'S ON FIRE!" the man shouted as he jerked his arm from the bear. "RUN!"

    Kermit turned and saw the sidewalk behind them spontaneously burst into flame. He instinctively scooped Robin into his arms. "RUN!" He shouted, and he ran in the same direction as the rest of the crowd as the wooden sidewalk they were on fell victim to the flames behind them.

    All of the other Muppets began to dart off, all except Pepe. "Yo shrimp, you tryin' to get fried?" Floyd shouted.

    "King prawn!" Pepe shouted. "But no, I'm going to see if I stay here long enough if a hot women will scoop me up and whisk me away to safety, hokay?"

    Floyd grabbed Pepe by the hood of his sweatshirt and pulled him down the flaming sidewalk. "Hey! Put me down hipster! Jou are not a hot women!"

    Miss Piggy huffed and puffed as she ran. "These... are definitely... the wrong... heels... for running!"

    Rowlf nudged Gonzo, "I think...That she...Is definitely...The wrong...Size...For running..." Rowlf panted.

    Miss Piggy tossed him a glare. "I... Heard... That..."

    "Don't...Worry..." Gonzo whispered. "She'll...be unconscious...By the time...We get...Away..."

    Robin curled up against his uncle's chest and wrapped a small hand around a point of Kermit's collar. He was shaking.

    Uncle Deadly ignored the random arguments of his Muppet friends to eye the burning city. Behind him screams of terror were heard. Terror? He turned around and saw Death. The Death of 1871 escorting an elderly man away from a burning building, then disappearing, and returning again.

    They were stopping, now. They were safe from the flames, at least for the time being. The fire was spreading quickly. All around them there were screams, shouts of terror, pleas for help, calls out to friends and family members who simply were not there. There were splashes behind them, people jumping into the lake. Many, many people were too numb to speak. They could only stare at the flames. One such person, standing near by, could only whisper. "So long, Chicago."

    "Like this is totally no home sweet home," Janice said softly, linking arms with Floyd (Who had finally dropped Pepe).

    "You mean it's no Sweet Home Chicago?" Rowlf whispered. He shook his head. "It doesn't really look like my kind of town, either."

    "Could dat be why Gonzo's jumpin' in dat lake over der?" Rizzo asked.

    The weirdo dove head first off the pier and just before he hit the water, a bright light intercepted him, and grabbed the sixteen other Muppets along with him. Leaving the horrific fire that was Chicago behind.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  14. Fragglemuppet

    Fragglemuppet Well-Known Member

    And you leave us with such a grim scene? It was very well done, though. Beaker and the captain on the ship worked well together, and I wonder how's that kidney doin' anyway?
    Poor Clifford, that was rather unkind of Scooter, accusing him of not taking Manhattan because he was cheating on Skeeter. He didn't even know her at the time, and the reason that's funny is, acording to some theories, Scooter hardly knew her at the time either!
    You two must have been rather busy during the past several hours, puting together this chapter for all of us ravinous fans, as it seemed you were not yet ready this afternoon. Speaking of ravinous, Sweedoms, please don't eat moi!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  15. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Oy, where to start... How bout here, new chapter!!

    Beaker on the pirate ship... Funny.
    Death coming to tend to Mr. Beaker, offering him the protection of the arcangels from Bunsen's experiments...
    The bit where Death comes back to offer his/Bunsen's apologies over the assistant's kidney was funny, especially since Beaker was hoping for the time portal to go back home.

    The great Chicago fire, nice choice.
    Liked the Muppet cow who's asking for forgiveance.
    Liked the random passerbys' comments, the quote about the River Meets The Sea...

    Funny stuff with Rowlf and Gonzo running after Piggy, and then the band's comments about no Sweet Home Chicago.

    Some intense stuff starting up between Scooter and Clifford, guess that gofer's extremely protective of his twin sister. And Sweetums, you spit out those three right now! Don't you know how upset their papa will be?
    Great stuff, post more soonish.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  16. redBoobergurl

    redBoobergurl Well-Known Member

    Gosh, like the Count, I don't know where to start! First of all, YEA! for an update! Finally! Second of all, this was a great chapter. Poor Beaker and I loved the stuff with Clifford and Scooter (But we already took Manhatten - GREAT!) and then Anne, Kelly, Tabby, Jana, yea for MopFam! And the end with Chicago and Rowlf saying it's not his kind of town, there's a song called "My Kind of Town" about Chicago and now it's stuck in my head! Anyway, great chapter, this is a fun read, looking forward to more!
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  17. Leyla

    Leyla Member

    Mmm, this was great! It was a lot of fun and also very sad with the fire and all. I loved Beaker and the pirate and Death. Poor Beaker, just can't win... There were lot's of lines that made me laugh out loud. I'm all worried about Gonzo right now... and completely uncertain as to whether I should be! Oh, you do love playing games with my head, doncha?

    That's not really a question.

    I liked the fish names, which are obviously references to things I know nothing about, but I still liked 'em!

    I've said this before, but you two make a great writing team and I'm so glad you're continuing this story!

    Hugs,
    Leyla... the eternally baffled.
    GopherCoffee likes this.
  18. theprawncracker

    theprawncracker Well-Known Member

    *bump* ...It's that...And nothing more...*shifty eyes*
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  19. TogetherAgain

    TogetherAgain Well-Known Member

    Chapter 7

    "Oh! Oh my, oh dear, oh my, oh dear!" Dr. Honeydew shouted. Clifford and Scooter darted in panting and asking what was wrong. "Hmm, what's that? Oh, oh, I just dropped my screwdriver."

    Clifford took of his sunglasses and wiped his brow. "You were shouting about dropping your screwdriver?"
    “Well of course," Bunsen said. "It's my absolute favorite screwdriver!" he said, returning to his machine. "Oh, would you look at this, it seems our time-travelling friends are being sent backwards now! Oh, what fun!"

    "WHAT?" Scooter shouted. "Going BACKWARDS?"

    "Dr. Dew! This is NOT good!" Clifford shouted.

    "Oh I know! It's fantastic!" Bunsen giggled. "Imagine the history lesson they're getting!"

    "Bunsen, we don't CARE about their History lesson," Scooter said, "Just get them back HERE! ...Or... Get them back... Now? Er... Well now wait a minute..." He looked at Clifford. "How am I supposed to say what I'm trying to say?"

    "Well you tell me, you're the computer genius, they give out diction lessons on those things don't they?" Clifford asked sarcastically.

    Scooter threw his ice pack at Clifford, hitting him right on the nose. "Dr. Honeydew," he said, "Just bring our friends back." He glanced at Clifford. "I have to talk to Kermit about SOMEONE's contract."

    Clifford's eyes filled with rage, "That's it you four-eyed kid, you're goin' down!" Clifford shouted, rolling up his sleeves.

    "Five bucks says the go-fer's glasses break," Waldorf said from the balcony.

    "And ten bucks says that the dreadlocked guy breaks his glasses on the go-fer's head!" Statler countered.

    "You're on," Waldorf said. They shook hands and leaned forward to watch.

    "What do you two like live here or somethin'?" the distracted Clifford asked.

    Scooter took the opportunity to punch Clifford across the face- breaking his sunglasses.

    ??????????????????​

    Zoot sat up straight, he realized that the travellers had actually landed on something soft. "Hey guys we-" he began to say.

    "Hey look! We're in a new time!" Rizzo shouted.

    "No, we're in an old time!" Rowlf said.

    Zoot stood up, "But I think we should-" he started again.

    "Where do you think we are now Uncle Kermit?" Robin asked innocently.

    "Well it looks like we're in some sort of barn," Kermit responded gently.

    Zoot tried shouting, "Guys we need to-"

    "Man, if we're in a barn, Piggy'll feel right at home! Heh heh heh!" Floyd said.

    "HI-YAAH!"

    "Hey guys, look over der!" Rizzo said, pointing out an open door. "Some guys in armor are ridin' dis way!"

    "That's what I was tryin' to-" Zoot started. "Oh, never mind..." he muttered.

    The sound of clamping hooves sounded as a knight in dark black armor rode up on a shimmering white horse. "What ho there fine freaks?" he addressed the travelers. "What business have thee in mine stable?"

    "None," Beauregard said with a blink.

    The knight lifted the faceplate of his helmet, revealing two blue eyes and his forehead. "I say my fine fellow, perhaps I wasn't clear enough for you? I repeat, what art thou doing in mine stable?" he reiterated, trying to get an answer from the time travelers, although none of them had any.

    Miss Piggy straightened up and sashayed over to the knight. "Ooh, a tall dark and handsome knight type," she mused quietly. Then, so he could hear her, "Oh, fair knight, where are'est thou putting to bed your cute little head? Hmmm?"

    The knight hopped off of his horse gracefully. He stood up perfectly straight as he moved towards Piggy, removing his helmet. The knight swayed back his golden locks, the length of which rivaled Piggy's. He stopped in front of her and grabbed her gloved hand. "Oh fair damsel, wherever I layeth mine head, you are certainly welcome," he winked at her.

    Rizzo nudged Kermit in the chest. "Hey der Kerm, looks like you've got one less porky problem on your flippers, eh? Heh heh."

    Kermit scrunched up his face. "Hardly."

    Fozzie popped up in front of Kermit and Rizzo, "Hey, don't worry about it Kermit, that knight is HARDLY awake! It's the middle of the afternoon! Get it?! Knight! Awake! Ahh! Wocka! Wocka!"

    The knight gazed curiously at them, and then turned his eyes back to Miss Piggy. "Tell me, my fair lady," he said, "What ARE you doing with these... things?"

    "About seven knots," Gonzo interrupted.

    "These THINGS," Kermit said as he stepped forward, "Are her FRIENDS." He put his arm firmly around Miss Piggy's waist.

    Floyd raised one eye up. "Speak for yourself green stuff!"

    The knight let go of Piggy's hand and stared down into Kermit's eyes. "I say there my gruesomely green companion. Is this beauty of a maiden yours? Or may I take her back to my nestings and tour her around the orchards?"

    Miss Piggy turned and smiled at Kermit, looking smugger than she ever had before. Then, as magically as her incredible acting abilities allowed, her face became that of an offended innocent maiden as she turned her gaze back to the knight and, with her eyes, pleaded for him to help her.

    Dr. Teeth stroked his furry orange beard. "I do hope that the orchards our knightly friend is talking about has nothing to do with flower 'beds,' emphasizing the beds, if you know what I mean. That could end bad for both parties," he frowned at such a thought.

    Kermit felt his muscles tensing. He was dizzy. This was NOT a good conversation to have after having his head bumped too many times in one day. He stared back at the knight and, with no small effort, opened his mouth. "She's not yours to take," he said.

    "And what giveth you the right to say such a thing o' ye of little stature?" the knight asked harshly. "I sayeth, if the lady would enjoy the company of both of us, we shall have a small duel of sorts, or should I say, swords. What sayeth you frog?"

    Kermit gulped. "I say..." He looked towards Miss Piggy, but not particularly at her, and only briefly before returning his eyes to the knight. "I say yes."

    ??????????????????​

    There. There it was. In the middle of the dirt patch. There it sat. Cold and alone. Alone and cold.

    There was Beaker's right kidney.

    A small mosquito landed on it. Above the mosquito’s head was a tiny, almost microscopic halo.

    It bit the kidney.

    ??????????????????​

    Gonzo and Fozzie handled each of Kermit's pieces of arm coverage. "Gee Kermit, this is so cool! It totally reminds me of my Tin Thing costume from 'The Muppets' Wizard of Oz!'" Gonzo gushed over the painfully tight iron armor Kermit attempted to put on over his spindly arms and legs.

    Kermit scrunched up his face. "Just don't remind me of MY costume from that," he said dryly. "PLEASE."

    Pepe knocked on the armor, "Si, but jou can remind me of Piggy's costume whenever jou want, hokay? Did anyone take pictures by de way?"

    "Just watch the movie, Pepe," Kermit groaned. "...If we ever get back to then."

    "But I do not even have a DVD player, hokay? Jou don't buy me any nice t'ings Kermin. How am I supposed to see de sexy lady pig without a DVD player? Jou know Kermin, I'm not sure how long dis relationship can last if jou don't buy me any nice t'ings, hokay?" Pepe crossed his arms.

    "Oh, sheesh!" Kermit cried out. He shook his head. "And people wonder how my eyes got like this..."

    Sam strutted his way to where Kermit stood in his rusting armor. "Kermit, you do realize there are some VERY strict rules regarding the honorable, timeless tradition of dueling, do you not? You face your opponent, about face, walk ten paces, turn and strike. Um, good luck. And, may I have your stereo?"

    Kermit scrunched his face again. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sam," he said. "And no, you can't have my stereo."

    "Well I think you're gonna do GREAT, Uncle Kermit!" Robin said enthusiastically.

    "Oh yes, you'll do marvelously Kermit," Sam said sarcastically. "Are you sure I can't have your stereo?"

    "Yes, Sam, I am SURE that you can't have my stereo!" Kermit said. He took a deep breath and turned to his nephew. "You think so, huh Robin?" he said with something that almost could have vaguely resembled a smile.

    "I think I should have your stereo," Sam spoke up.

    "Knock it off, Sam!" Kermit snapped.

    "Well sure Uncle Kermit," Robin said. "You won the sword fight in Muppet Treasure Island, remember?"

    "Is there anyway I could win your stereo?"

    "Sam," Kermit said, "I don't HAVE a stereo!"

    Sam raised his head slowly and stood up straight. "Oh...Well, if you get one, can I have it?"

    Kermit sighed a frustrated sigh and turned to Robin again. "It's a little different than in Muppet Treasure Island, Robin," he explained gently. "I've got a few more disadvantages this time around. One, I'm in this armor and I have no idea how I'm supposed to be able to move in this. And two... it's not a choreographed fight."

    "Choreographed? I didn't know we were in Korea," Beauregard said as he began to dust the bales of hay in the barn.

    "And number three," Gonzo continued the list of differences. "Tim Curry's a wimp...He wouldn't even try the barefoot sea shell tap dancing I had set up."

    "He couldn't have been MUCH of a wimp," Floyd said. "After all, he DID kiss the pig!"

    "Sheesh..."

    THE pig sat atop a tower of ten or fifteen bales of hay with her legs crossed and her hair flowing over her shoulders (she had to look her best when she was the subject of a battle to the death). "Oh boys, are vous ready?" she hummed down to the knight and her frog in shining armor.

    The knight walked forward and Kermit did the same, they stared at each other. As their eyes met, the knight drew his sword. "Art thou ready?" he asked Kermit.

    Uncle Deadly peered through the individual pieces of hay. "Ah, a sword fight, at least it doesn't involve me being mistaken for a dragon," the phantom thought to himself. "Don't want to add to the confusion of this poor knight, there's enough of it already."

    Kermit shifted his eyes to Miss Piggy, who gave him an encouragingly flirtatious smile. He held her gaze and set his face with firm determination, with the utterly barest hint of a smile. He turned to the knight. "Yes," he said as he drew his sword. "Art thou?"

    Kermit and the knight nodded. They turned themselves around and marched ten paces, counting each one aloud. The knight whipped around and lunged towards Kermit who slowly turned around and barely was able to block the knight's blade with his own. He let out a huge frown. "Piggy better be thankful for this," he thought aloud.

    He swung his sword and the blades clashed. A baby step forward and a tiny swing to the other side of the knight's sword and another step and another swing and another step and another swing and bit by bit the frog advanced in small, swift swings- each one perfectly blocked by the knight's sword.

    All of the Muppets, along with Miss Piggy, were on the edge of their seats watching the sword fight. However, Miss Piggy was more literally on the edge than the others. Kermit slammed into the stack of hay to dodge a slice from the knight's blade, and the impact sent Piggy falling to the ground.

    "AHH!" she screamed as she hit the ground, face first.

    Not very fair-maiden-like, she thought. She noticed the sword beside her hand. Neither is that... She snatched it, sprung gracefully to her feet, and joined the fight. At least it looks like I meant to do it now, she thought as she defiantly forced the other two swords away with her blade.

    Kermit did not look at all surprised to find himself clashing swords with her. The knight, however, was another tale.

    "I say," he exhaled between the swings of the swords. "A fair lass and a more than fair swordswoman? Ist there anything she cannot do?"

    "If there is, I haven't found it yet," Kermit said.

    "Oh, thank vous Kerm-AH!" Piggy tried to swoon over the frog, before she was knocked over with the knight's elbow.

    "She's even good at falling," Kermit quipped as he distracted the knight long enough for Miss Piggy to get back on her feet.

    Piggy's face filled with rage. "HI-YA!" she spun herself around with the blade in her hands, knocking sword tips with both of the armored men.

    "And did I mention karate?" Kermit gulped, not even noticing the pure light of time shining into the barn and slowly sucking him, Miss Piggy, and all the Muppets away, leaving a very confused knight to swing his sword at the air.
  20. The Count

    The Count Moderator Staff Member

    Very goodly chapter twixst the twain o' you.
    Bo will probably get a squeee out of the knight, whoever that was supposed to be.
    Liked the little barb flung at Layla, when Clifford asks if they offer diction lessons on the computer. Or is that a nod to the MC Dictionary thread?
    The fight that broke out between Scooter and Clifford... Heh, funny.

    OK, I know the scene with the mosquito with the halo biting Beaker's kidney will probably become important later.
    Funny how everybody kept ignoring Zoot. What was it he was going to say? Ah, forget it.
    Ushy-Gushy showing there in the scenes with the knight, Piggy and Kermit...
    Liked UD's comments as he remained hidden in the bales of hay.
    Found Pepe's comments funny, not to mention Sam trying to get Kermit's stereo.

    Loved the chapter... More please!

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