Well, I've tried to make a translation of it the best I could (German is not my native tongue), and I think it came pretty close. Enjoy!
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Statler: "- I didn't even know, that I was looking for it!"
Waldorf: "Bah, I mean, they issue them a credit card, even before they learn how to write properly!"
Statler: "So that's why you haven't got one yet!"
(Laughter)
Waldorf: "Hardly in the" - something, something (seems clipped) and then - "big cars and expensive clothes! You've[/I] only ever experienced an expensive girlfriend!"
(Laughter)
Statler: "Hmm?"
Speaker: "More money for life. The 'Sparkassen Erfolgs-Plan', the financing concept for the individual."
Waldorf: "We didn't have that in the old days!"
Statler: "Too bad, huh?"
(Laughter)
???: "He he he he!"
(seems clipped again here)
???: "... too late!"
Waldorf: "When it's about money -"
Both: "Sparkasse!"