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Motocross Mix-Up

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Fan Art' started by WebMistressGina, Aug 18, 2012.

  1. miss kermie Well-Known Member

    I love the k+p bit. And gonzo and the elevator!


    Omg, I died. Lol.

    More please!
  2. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    And here is the next segment on Muppet Adventures!

    *Credit for Dr. Teeth's first name goes to Slackbot*



    “Alright, what do you want, loser?”

    Piggy easily found Gonzo within the basement of the theater, leaning over his motorbike with a confused look on his face and the daredevil could easily tell that the diva was not in the mood for idle chitchat.

    However, it was only customary to respond to her comments…

    “You know,” he huffed. “Most people start conversations with ‘good morning!’ or ‘hello’, but not you. I give you consistency points for sticking it to normalcy.”

    “You got twelve minutes, freak monkey.”

    “Okay, okay,” the weirdo replied, standing from his position and waving her over. “Come over here.”

    “What?”

    “Listen.”

    What?

    “Keep your panties on!” he cried. Muttering to himself about impatient pigs, Gonzo started the engine to his bike.

    Said diva was barely controlling the urge to punch the blue pervert when she heard a rattling noise that seemed to be coming from Gonzo’s bike. Turning off the engine, the weirdo looked at her. “You heard it, right?” he asked.

    “Sure.”

    “What is that?”

    Piggy shrugged. “Sounds like there’s something in your gas tank.”

    Gonzo just looked at her. “Really, Sherlock?” he deadpanned. “Is that what you think it might be?”

    “I can go back upstairs,” she stated. “Or I can deck you. Actually I might do both, you never know, Gonzo.”

    Gonzo held up his hands in placation. “Alright,” he said. “There’s something in my gas tank. How did it get there?”

    Piggy threw up her hands in exasperation. “I don’t know, Gonzo!” she exclaimed. “Knowing you, you probably filled your gas tank up with rocks; probably to match the ones in your head.”

    “Firstly,” Gonzo hissed. “You’re not talking to Link, you’re talking to me; secondly, I asked you down here to help me. If you’re going to insult me, then please leave.”

    “Fine!” the diva huffed, turning and stomping off.

    “Fine!”

    “Great!”

    “Brilliant!”

    Piggy managed to angrily stomp her way over to the stairs and was going up them when she heard Gonzo start the bike again. Turning to glare at him, she none the less stopped, watching as he gave the gas tank – and thus the odd rattling noise – a look before trying to attempt to stick his arm in the gas tank.

    Looking up, Gonzo noticed Piggy giving him a look that pretty much asked, “how you lost your mind?” Shutting off the engine, he asked, “What?”

    “Are you really insane enough to put your arm down the gas tank of a vehicle with its engine running?”

    The daredevil shared a look with the diva that clearly stated that, yes, he was that insane and that, unless someone with enough sense were around to stop him, he would do exactly that.

    Sighing, Piggy made her way back down the stairs and over to where Gonzo was, simultaneously pulling out her cell phone while she did so. “Let’s be clear on one thing, yes?” she began. “Moi is only doing this because both Kermit and Camilla would no doubt be mad at me if I let you lose an arm. Secondly, your stubby little arms are no doubt too short to even reach in and grab whatever is knocking around in there.”

    “Who’re you calling?”

    “John John?” she asked, her sweet voice carrying through the phone to the person on the other side. “Could you do Moi a huge favor? Aw, you’re so sweet. Actually two favors – one, could you come down to the basement for a moment? I have something that needs your unique talents. And two, could let Rowlfie know I’m running behind? I have something that needs taking care of.” The last bit she said while looking at Gonzo.

    “Merci, John John.” Hanging up, she replied, “Now we wait.”

    “You know that Muppet Mafia thing was a joke, right?”

    Electric Mayhem bassist Floyd Pepper had once made an observation in regards to three of the troupe’s leading ladies, especially when it came to dispatching unwanted groupies or potential girlfriends’ from their male co-stars. Nicknaming them the ‘Muppet Mafia’, he had gone on to state that if the Muppets were ever a crime family, Miss Piggy would be their Don.

    That was when Piggy had corrected him by saying that Don was the male version of the title, where Donna was the feminine version; she of course did this with a well-placed chop to his middle while she said it.

    After that conversation, Piggy may have taken that title a little much to heart and Gonzo was afraid that she might actually have ‘connections’ to a person or persons that could do significant damage to his person.

    After about ten minutes, the blue stuntman was relieved and surprised to see Dr. Teeth, the leader and keyboardist for the Electric Mayhem come striding down the steps. “Felicitations, mi amigo and amiga!” he greeted as he came over to them. “I hurried to ensure you could bask in my presence as quickly as I could.”

    Gonzo gave the band leader a look as the exuberant Muppet flashed him a golden, toothy smile. “I didn’t know your first name was John.”

    “You never asked,” Tooth replied, shrugging. Looking to Piggy, he asked, “I have arrived at your beck and call, mamacita. What assistance shall I perform?”

    “There’s something in Gonzo’s gas tank,” she stated.

    “Off hand, I’d call it gas,” came the retort.

    “Everyone’s gotta be a comedian today!” Gonzo groused. “Why don’t we call Fozzie down here and then the three of you can perform a comedy routine?!”

    “Forgive him,” Piggy said. “He’s an idiot. Anyway, there’s something in the gas tank of this old clunker he calls a bike, which he insists is not a rock. We kinda need your long arm of the law to find out what it is.”

    “Right on,” the band leader chuckled. Leaning over to look deep within the tank, the doctor went ahead and reached into the tank; he let his hand roam around the tank before his eyes went wide.

    That’s when he started screaming.

    “Agh!”

    “Agh!” echoed that of his companions.

    “Agh!” he screamed again, before letting out a chuckle. “I’m just kidding.”

    The small practical joke was not well received. Gonzo reached over towards the starter. “How many hands do you need to play?”

    “I’m done, I’m done!” the doctor insisted. “Literally. I think I got your rock.”

    Pulling his arm out slowly, Teeth was of course covered in the rest of the gas tank, but what he pulled out seemed to completely remove some of the grease and gas that had been in the tank.

    In his hand, he held a medium sized ruby, still covered in oil, but it seemed that the surface was resist to having the liquid stick to it.

    “What the hey!?”

    “That’s a pretty big rock,” Teeth murmured.

    “Gonzo,” Piggy began, slowly. “Why is there a ruby in your gas tank?”

    “I don’t know!” he exclaimed. “I certainly didn’t put it there!”

    Both the doc and the diva looked at the weirdo, only to be interrupted by the melody of Piggy’s cell phone. Instinctively knowing who it was by ringtone alone, Piggy answered quickly with a, “Can’t talk now. Little busy.”

    “Piggy, I need you up here.”

    “Told you,” she repeated. “I’m a bit busy.”

    “The police are here.”

    The retort quickly died on her tongue, as she digested the very words he said. Looking quickly at Gonzo, she replied, “I’ll be right up.”

    “What was that about?” Gonzo asked, watching as she hung up.

    “That’s what Moi’s going to find out,” she replied, quickly hurrying towards the stairs and up the steps. “Stay here!”
  3. The Count Moderator

    Gotcha! Boy did you guys fall for it. The ol' man-eating motorcycle gastank trick.
    *Others tackle Dr. Venkman around the billiards table.

    And the Police are here too?
    Ooh, maybe you can entertain them with a rousing rendition of the King of Pain, at least Gonzo could since that'd be his song.

    More please?
  4. miss kermie Well-Known Member

    Ooooh snap!
    They're screwed!
  5. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Hi-o! So, quickly while I'm still on break, here is your next segment of Motorcross!

    While Dr. Teeth, Piggy, and Gonzo were down in the basement discovering hidden jewels, let's see what was going on up top in the theater proper, shall we?


    The case of the missing ruby was starting to get at least luke warm for Hollertz and Day as their day progressed. In trying to ascertain who and where the thieves had come from and where they had gone, the two had found what seemed to be three unrelated leads – three cases of murder. The first two were of some local teens who were no strangers to the law, having some minor misdemeanors and run-ins, while the next was a known jewel thief and robber within the western and southern parts of California and the United States.

    All three had been found murdered within a few days of each other and that of the museum robbery and while there shouldn’t have been a connection, Officer Hollertz had stumbled across one. That led the two partners to the eleventh annual charity motorbike race that had recently happened in Long Beach. The two teens had been registered to participate, but had unexpectedly withdrawn about two days before the event.

    Looking at the registration and participant list, Day had suggested the two contact each person to see if they knew or had seen the boys or even that of David Dickers, the jewel thief that Day was convinced was involved in the heist.

    One hour later, the two had gone through those who had registered, but had either been no shows or placed on the reserved list in the case that someone didn’t show. They then focused on those who had been in the actual race; Chesney had of course noted that many of the racers were actual celebrities and it was a known fact that celebrities didn’t hang around or even notice regular people.

    “That may be,” Day had chastised. "However it’s a new day and age. Maybe these folks were signing autographs when they signed up and noticed something suspicious. You never know.”

    Chesney shrugged. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll bite. Who should we start with?”

    “Well,” Day replied, picking up a file folder he had on his desk. “I had been planning on suggesting we start with those who didn’t win, but I got this report here that says a huge brouhaha took place at the end.”

    “What?”

    “Yeah,” the blue Muppet replied, handing the folder to his partner. “Apparently, there was some controversy over who actually won. The two racers who disputed it apparently went at it right in front of the judges, the guy who took third got involved, and before you knew it, half of the racers were in on it.”

    “Whoa!”

    Day nodded. “Saw the names of those involved, huh?” he asked. “Was a little bit surprised myself, but I did some checking on some of those involved and like our murdered trio, they aren’t exactly adverse to getting caught up with the law.”

    “So who do we start with?”

    “I say we hit Muppet Theater,” Day suggested, standing from his chair and grabbing his jacket. “We’ll kill two birds with one stone by talking to both Miss Piggy and the Great Gonzo.”

    [hr]

    About thirty minutes later, the two officers found themselves in Hollywood proper and on the studio lot of Muppet Theater. Chesney, who knew of the Muppets, was still surprised when a large, furry brown monster greeted them at the gate of the studios; he was a very large and very menacing giant of a guy, but seemed to mellow once Day told him who they were.

    The monster had been extremely helpful, pointing them to a parking lot and space and then by literally escorting them to the back door of the theater itself. “Just tell Scooter or Kermit who you are,” he said, in a deep voice. “I gotta get back to the front, you know.”

    “Thank…thank you for your help, Mister…um…”

    “No mister,” the monster chuckled. “Just Sweetums. Gotta go!” And with that, the inappropriately named Sweetums lumbered back to man the front gates.

    “Please tell me that this Scooter and Kermit aren’t monsters too,” Chesney gulped.

    “Are you telling me you don’t know who Kermit the Frog is?”

    “I’m not saying that!” the younger officer protested. “Everyone knows who Kermit the Frog is, but how do you know he was talking about Kermit the Frog? What if he meant, go talk to Kermit the Large Muppet Eating Monster, huh? You don’t know that.”

    “Sometimes Kid…” the veteran sighed, opening the back stage door and walking through.

    Anyone who was familiar with the previous version of the Muppet Show was well aware that anything and everything happened backstage. This was especially true when a show wasn’t on or when rehearsals were starting. Currently, a group of penguins were doing a song and dance for a red haired Muppet with glasses who was holding an iPad in one hand and a smartphone in the other.

    “Hold on,” he was saying into the phone. “Hold on, Jerry.” Moving the phone to his shoulder, he looked at the penguins and said, “That’s great guys! Cheesy, I thought you were a little flat on that last note and you got out of step in the third bar. I’d work on that if I were you. I’ll make sure to let Kermit know…oh, hey Kermit!”

    The group of penguins all wandered off, with the aforementioned Cheesy sticking his tongue out at the red head as he nodded to a slim green frog that had walked over to him.

    “I saw that, Cheesy!” he shouted to the penguins. Turning to the red-haired Muppet, the frog noticed the two officers as they tried to stay out of the way of the oncoming traffic that was Muppet Labs and set design. “Hi ho!”

    Day nodded, immediately coming over to the two Muppets. “Looks to be a busy day, huh?” he asked.

    “It’s been an insane day,” the frog corrected. “As per usual. Kermit the Frog,” he introduced himself. “Scooter Grosse, my assistant and stage manager here at Muppet Theatre. How can we help?”

    “I’m Det. Day and this is my partner, Officer Hollertz,” Day replied, as both he and Chesney pulled out their badges and showed them to the two Muppets. “We’re investigating a recent robbery and we’ve traced some of the suspects to a recent motorbike race.”

    Both Day and Hollertz didn’t miss the way the frog and stage manager looked at each other.

    “I understand that two of your actors were participants in that race?”

    “Uh,” Kermit stumbled. “Yes, yes sir. Miss Piggy and the Great Gonzo were both in that race.”

    “They were also involved in an altercation afterwards, were they not?” asked Chesney.

    “They were,” Scooter piped up. “Unfortunately, those charges are currently under investigation by our lawyers. You’ll understand that we can’t really get into specifics about that.”

    “Understandable,” Day replied. “Are they both here? Miss Piggy and the Great Gonzo, I mean?”

    “Yes, they are,” Kermit nodded. “Um…Scooter, would you keep an eye on the acts out there? You know how Bunsen gets a little excited when he’s doing a demonstration.”

    “Sure Chief.”

    As the younger Muppet headed off, Kermit replied, “Why don’t we take this in my office? Sometimes, theaters have eyes and hears in places you don’t want them to.”

    The frog lead them also the way they had come, but off to the left where a quaint little office was situated. Inside, there was really nothing more than the standard office fare – two chairs sat in front of a wooden desk that had a variety of different items on top of it, including a desk phone, a rolodex, and what appeared to be a fairly unused cell phone.

    Just behind the chairs, up against the wall, was a black leather love seat that barely looked like it could fit two people on it.

    Kermit indicated the chairs in front of the desk for the officers, while he immediately went to the desk. After some hesitation and indecision, the frog decided that using the cell phone was probably his better approach at getting the answer he needed. Luckily, as much as he hated needing the device, the assistant and the girlfriend had made sure that those most important were at the top of his ‘most likely to call list’.

    It wasn’t any surprise that the person he needed to get a hold of just happened to top the list. Hitting the little green phone icon, the frog only waited a second before it was answered.

    “Can’t talk now. Little busy.”

    “Piggy,” he said, a little annoyed at the tone he had gotten. “I need you up here.”

    “Told you, I’m a bit busy.”

    “The police are here.”

    Whatever retort he expected was quickly squashed as the weight of the situation became clear. “I’ll be right up,” she returned.

    Hanging up the phone, he looked at the officers. “She’ll be right up,” he relayed. “She headed to the basement, so she should be here in about five, ten minutes. Can I interest you officers in some water? Coffee, perhaps?”

    “We’re fine, Mr. The Frog,” Chesney said, smiling as he did so.

    Four minutes and twenty seconds later, the trio heard a knock on the door before it opened to reveal the Muppets’ leading lady. “You wanted to see me, Kermie?”

    “Yeah,” Kermit said. Indicating the officers, he continued with, “Gentlemen, allow me to present you Miss Piggy. Piggy, this is Det. Day and Officer Hollertz.”

    “Enchante,” the diva said, nodding to both before taking her place by Kermit’s side at the front of the desk.

    “We won’t keep you long, Miss Piggy,” Day replied. “We just have a few questions.”

    “Do you mind if I stay?” Kermit asked.

    “He has a vetted interest in me,” Piggy quipped.

    “Vetted nothing,” the frog murmured. “It’s called ‘liability’.”

    “How can I help you gentlemen?” she asked, sweetly, barely sending a look towards Kermit. “I hope this isn’t about that nasty business at the race track.”

    “Ironically, it is,” Chesney stated. “But not your involvement in that doozy of a fight. No, this is about the Rheingold ruby.”

    “The what now?”

    “The Rheingold ruby,” Day said. “Surely you’re heard about it. It’s been all over the news in recent weeks.”

    “You’ll forgive me, Detective,” the diva replied. “But my ‘doozy of a fight’ has also been in the news, hence why I’ve been avoiding it. Also, dealing with the…circumstances of that has left me rather bereft of my favorite shows.”

    “My sincere apologies for the assumption then,” the blue Muppet replied. “The Rheingold Ruby was a gem that was on loan from some big name museum in Germany to us here in the states. A few days before this race, it was stolen from the Ocean in Pasadena; my partner and I have managed to trace some of the suspects to the race.

    “Miss Piggy, did you notice anything suspicious when you signed up to be a participant? Anyone acting oddly or out of place?”

    Piggy giggled slightly, a nervous habit that Kermit was able to notice, but so did Chesney and Day. “To be truthful,” she began. “I didn’t sign up; I mean, I did, but…it was Gonzo who actually told me about the race and he was the one that signed us both up.”

    “You mean the Great Gonzo, correct?”

    “Yes.”

    “Is he here today?”

    “Yes,” Piggy answered before Kermit had the chance to. “Why don’t I…give him a call?”

    Smiling, the porcine princess quickly pulled out her own cell phone and was making a call to the weirdo within seconds. “Gonzo,” she said. “Could you come and see Kermit and Moiself upstairs? Just come up here, please. Gonzo, I’m sure that…the personnel downstairs would be more than willing to watch over things while you’re up here. Gonzo, I’m not going to ask again, so get your blue butt up here! Merci.”

    Hanging up, she smiled at the two officers. “Sometimes Gonzo gets so wrapped in his work,” she said, as way of explanation. “You can’t tear him away. Can you, Kermit?”

    “Nearly impossible,” the frog said, politely.

    Again, the group heard a knock on the door within moments, with it opening to reveal the Great Gonzo. “You guys wanted to see me?”

    “Yes,” Piggy said, once again jumping in before the frog could. “These fine officers of the law would like to speak with you.”

    To both Day and Hollertz, it seemed as though both the diva and the stuntman were more than a bit nervous in their presence; this theory was only amplified when the blue daredevil also giggled in a nervous manner, similar to how the diva had at the beginning of their interview.

    “Oh!” he replied, sending a look to Piggy. “This isn’t about…”

    “No actually,” Day interrupted. “We’re investigating the thief of a priceless ruby that was stolen from one of our local museums.”

    Gonzo turned to look at Piggy, before turning back to the officers. “What ruby?”

    “As I said,” the older Muppet replied. “It’s a priceless loan from an estate in Germany. Anyway, we have reason to believe that suspects were registered for the charity race that you and Miss Piggy participated in last Saturday. As I understand it, you were the one that signed up?”

    “Oh!” Gonzo exclaimed, nodding quickly. “Yeah, I uh…talked to Piggy and signed up.”

    “And how did you find out the race?”

    “There was an ad in the paper,” the weirdo continued. “Well, technically it was an ad in Crazy Stunts; it’s a daredevil magazine I’m signed up for, and well, I saw the ad and thought it was a great idea.”

    “You’ll pardon me for asking,” Chesney spoke up. “But what exactly made you ask Miss Piggy to join you in the race?”

    This time, both Kermit and Gonzo answered. “She likes bikes.”

    The diva shrugged. “Moi admits she is a motorcycle connoisseur.”

    “Did you sign up in person?” Day asked.

    “No, actually,” Gonzo replied. “There was a number in the ad, so I called and signed up.”

    “On the day of the race,” Chesney began. “Did you notice anyone strange? Anything out of the ordinary?”

    Both Muppets shook their heads. “Not counting that unfortunate ending,” the weirdo muttered. “Everything seemed okay.”

    “Mr. Grosse mentioned that you’re having that win disputed,” Day replied. “How’s the arm, by the way?”

    “It’s alright,” Gonzo shrugged. “A bit tender, but shouldn’t stop me from my juggling scorpions act this Sunday.”

    “No, Gonzo,” said Kermit, indicating that the two had this conversation earlier.

    “Watermelons then.”

    “I said no.”

    “You don’t look any worse for wear, Miss Piggy,” Hollertz noted. “I heard that fellow who won roughed you up a bit.”

    “It was nothing,” the diva replied, smirking at bit. “Healed in a day.”

    “Please,” the daredevil huffed. “Don’t let the make-up fool you, boys, she has a shiner to write home about.”

    Still smiling, Piggy managed a slight jab into Gonzo’s right shoulder, right in that tender spot where he had needed stitches. Hissing in pain and covering the spot with his hand, the weirdo muttered, “Not that you should be writing about that.”

    “Well,” Day responded, standing and prompting Hollertz to do the same. “I think that’s all we need. If you think of anything, here’s my card -” He handed a card to Kermit, nodding at the three. “Give me a call if you think of anything.”

    “Sure.”

    “We’ll see ourselves out.”

    Day nodded a goodbye once again, allowing for his partner to leave before him. As he closed the door behind him, he was sure he heard the frog say, “Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.”
  6. miss kermie Well-Known Member

    Ha ha ha ha! Piggy's make up.
    And Gonzo, dude, if you still have that ruby... You're screwed. More please!
  7. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    And moving right along, here's the first part of Chapter 6!


    Chapter VI

    As soon as the door closed, Kermit had to ask.

    “Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.”

    His companions turned to look at him, almost surprised that he would even ask such a thing. “Do with what, dear?” Piggy asked, looking confused at the very statement. Receiving a look for her question, the diva chuckled. “Oh Kermie,” she replied, sweetly. “What a silly thing to even think! You know Gonzo and Moi are perfectly well behaved children who have many things to do today.”

    “We do?” asked the stuntman. Truth be told, Gonzo was more in shock than anything else. It was one thing to discover a jewel nestled within your gas tank, it was something completely different when that jewel turned out to be priceless and stolen.

    Turning her ire on him, Piggy growled, “Yes, we do. Ta, Kermit!” Grabbing the daredevil by one of his suspenders, the diva pulled him along towards the door of the office and back downstairs. Of course, on the way downstairs, the two had started to bicker about what to do next.

    “I don’t see why we can’t just turn it in,” Gonzo complained. “I don’t want it!”

    “Gonzo,” the diva huffed, stepping off the last step and walking over to his bike to start pacing in front of it. “Moi knows it’s difficult for you, but try to think past yourself to the trouble you’re going to be in.”

    “What trouble?”

    “First and foremost,” she began. “Where were you the night the ruby was stolen?”

    “I don’t know!” the weirdo exclaimed. “Probably at home!”

    “Exactly,” Piggy replied. “And was anyone with you?”

    “Piggy, what are you getting at?”

    “Answer the question.”

    “Again, I don’t know because I don’t know when this thing was stolen and even then, how am I supposed to remember what I did on an ordinary night of the week?”

    “I’ll tell you the answer then,” the diva said. “One, you were probably at home because I know for a fact that you’re usually not in the theater in the middle of the night. Two, I know – for a fact – that Camilla is out of town until next week, so I hope for your sake you were home alone that night.”

    Gonzo just glared at her.

    “Three,” she continued. “If Moi remembers correctly, your idiot in arms Rizzo is also gone for the week, meaning that – unless you were with Fozzie or Kermit – you were no doubt by yourself.”

    “When you say it like that,” Gonzo said, sarcastically. “It makes me sound like a lonely, crazy hermit.”

    “You said it, not me,” came the retort. “So going on that assumption, you go into the police station and state that you mysteriously found this priceless and stolen jewel within your gas tank and have no idea how it got there. Coupled with the fact that, apparently, you were signed up and participated in a race that the suspects were involved in? You’ve now moved up the list of suspects when you weren’t even a suspect to begin with.”

    As much as Gonzo was convinced Piggy watched way too many police dramas and documentaries, he had to admit that she had a very good point. Not being able to explain how he got a ruby stuck in his gas tank, coupled with the fact that he didn’t have an alibi for the night in question looked very bad for him.

    And no amount of even denying that he had a need for the money would get him out of this type of trouble.

    “Okay,” he sighed. “You’re right. So if we can’t go to the police, what do we do?”

    “Simple,” she said. “It’s obvious that someone is trying to frame you. Duh. The question of course is who and why. Frankly, I have my money on La Chance.”

    “La Chance?”

    “Sure,” she continued. “Unless he is a completely horrible rider, which he most likely is, there had to have been a reason for him to run into you like that. And we both know that was no accident.”

    “You’d have to be blind to think that,” Gonzo agreed. “But that could be chalked up to the fact that he wanted to win.”

    “If that was true,” Piggy countered. “He would’ve pushed a lot harder than he did. It was only when you were leading the pack that he started to get aggressive; no, I’m convinced he’s involved somehow and we need to find out how.”

    “Well, I’m on board, obviously,” the weirdo conceded. “But there are two problems with this idea of yours. First, how are we going to do this?”

    “Easy,” Piggy chuckled. “We’ll use a little investigative sleuthing. With my smarts, my looks, my charm, and your…” She motioned to him, trying her best to come up with some talent that Gonzo had that would aid them in this.

    And failed.

    “Not guilty status,” she settled. “We’ll have this thing wrapped up in no time. Problem solved. What’s the second one?”

    Gonzo pointed to the only other person who had been in the room with them this entire time – Dr. Teeth. “Him.”

    “Don’t mind me,” the bandleader replied, having taken a seat on Gonzo’s bike while the two had outlined their investigating strategies. “I’m totally hip to your private eye routine.”

    “See?” Piggy replied. “You don’t have to worry about Doc; he’s plainly on our side.” Looking at the Muppet musician, she stated, “He knows when to keep his mouth shut, because he knows the consequences if he doesn’t.”

    “I get it shut,” he nodded. “Permanently. No worries, spy mama, you know you can count on the good doctor working his magic with a mystery.”

    “Cool!” Gonzo exclaimed. “You can be like the Charlie to our Angels!”

    “There’s only one issue with that,” Piggy said.

    “What’s that?”

    “You’re no angel.”

    “Well neither are you,” Gonzo retorted. “That hasn’t stopped us so far.”

    “Do you want another punch in the arm?”

    Covering his injured arm, Gonzo quickly said, “No.”

    “Then keep your mouth shut too.”

    “If I may intervent on your little conversation,” Dr. Teeth replied. “There is a third problem that you may have overlooked.”

    “Which is?” asked Piggy.

    Holding up the very ruby that Gonzo had given him to hold and watch, he asked, “What exactly to do with little red here?”

    “That’s a good point,” the diva murmured. “I didn’t think of that. We’ll have to hide somewhere so that no one finds it.” Taking it from the doctor, she pushed it at Gonzo. “Here, take this.”

    “I don’t want it!” he protested, pushing her hand away. “You take it! No one would think twice about you having a rock sized jewel in your possession.”

    “No one except Kermit,” she corrected. “You know, our boss, the guy who already thinks we’re involved in this? That’s all we need, having Kermit discover I’ve been keeping a stolen gem in our bedroom.” Thrusting it back at him, she said, “You take it. And I swear, Gonzo, if you say no, I will make sure that you and this ruby will never be apart from each other.”

    The daredevil quickly shut his mouth against the retort he had; with as many scrapes and arguments that he had been in with Miss Piggy, he knew her threats to be very true and very real. Once, he had made a pork joke at her expense and it had taken him – and a few friends and doctors – three days to get his head out of a prop ham.

    He quickly took the gem.

    “Now look,” she told him. “We obviously can’t keep it here in the theater; too many eyes and ears. Put it somewhere that only you know about it and we’ll come back after Kermit and Scooter are gone and move it.”

    “Okay.”

    “Remember gentlemen,” she said, looking at both the keyboardist and the stuntman. “Our best defense is keeping quiet about this. Not a word to anyone or you’ll be having words with me. Got it?” The two nodded, obediently.

    “Good.”
  8. The Count Moderator

    Yay, and here we have the plot moving forward with Piggy and Gonzo and Teeth in full-on guilty party hide the evidence mode.
    Can't wait to read more... So please post it, now!
  9. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Don't have nuttin now. :p

    Was gonna do something, but my morning has been crazy busy. Good busy, like money in the business good busy, but busy none the less. And then I thought I'd work on it later tonight, but I am very behind on school right now, so that might not happen either.

    But hey, it's Thursday and TGIFFriday is all I say, so maybe over the weekend.
  10. miss kermie Well-Known Member

    Piggy is like, gangster like...
    I LOVE IT!!!


    More please!
  11. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Mornin' kids! So I actually worked on this yesterday with the hopes of posting and then didn't finish it. I have since finished it. We're still in chapter...um...six?? So here's something extra long, with one or two little sections before we hit chapter 7.

    Enjoy!


    The week after the ill-fated motocross race was a mixed bag for one Royce La Chance.

    Hoping that his connections and good charms would get him the ruby he had somehow lost did nothing for him; for a third time, La Chance had underestimated the Muppets and who they knew.

    La Chance was not aware that the Muppets had lawyers and that these lawyers were courtesy of one Andrew ‘Scooter’ Grosse. In the troupe’s circle, Scooter was their stage manager and the assistant to their leader Kermit the Frog; however, many in the business and technology world knew him as Andrew Grosse – nephew and heir to legendary business mogul JP Grosse, a former employee and consultant for the search engine giant Google, and a former speaker at the popular science and technology forum the TED Talks.

    And because La Chance did not know any of this, he was unprepared for the push back that the entertainers’ did against his subpoena and restraining order. He had gotten a text earlier that morning from his lawyer that stated it would probably be better if he just dropped the suit entirely.

    Royce didn’t think he had ever been so enraged before. For the first time, he wasn’t getting what he had wanted and it seemed he was being blocked at every turn. The lawsuit should have been enough to get that blue Muppets’ bike, if just to prove that the bike wasn’t in any kind of shape to be in a motocross race.

    The hope, of course, had been that with the bike in custody, La Chance would be able to get the ruby from its gas tank; except that – without the bike in custody – he would now need to figure out another way of getting to it.

    Currently, La Chance was pacing back and forth, while Roger Peters, the CEO of Risen Corp, lounged on the leather sofa within the loft style. “Not sure why you’re so upset, Royce,” he replied. “You aren’t really that mad about the race, are you?”

    La Chance did his best not to explode at the corporation head, instead turning to give him a brief. “No, of course not, Roger,” he replied. “If anything, I’m actually a bit annoyed that these…Muppets would eve dare to dispute the win.”

    “Then what, Royce, my boy?”

    “Truthfully, Roger,” La Chance began. “I lost something during the race that was…very special to me. Sadly, I’ve looked everywhere for it and I just cannot find it.”

    “Good heavens!” Peters exclaimed, sitting up quickly. “What was it, Royce? I’ll have my people tear up that raceway to find it for you!”

    “Thanks, Roge,” La Chance said, patting the CEO on the shoulder. “I’ve already looked around the raceway and haven’t found it yet. I had hoped that someone, perhaps one of the audience or race participants, may have found it and would have reported it, but alas. That’s the main thing, but I think I have an idea of where it might be. I’m going to look there first.”

    “Well,” Roger started before sending a smile to his friend. “If you want that track overturned, just let me know. Actually, I’ll do you one better. I’ll get you the names of all those who were at least signed up for the race. This way, you won’t spend so much time looking for their numbers.

    “Hopefully we’ll also get a hold of that young man who just left the track. How rude, don’t you think? Can’t understand it. He paid for entry and then he just goes off track and out of the race.”

    Royce’s attention was fully on that of Roger. Being in the race and of course, the fight that happened afterward, Royce had no idea that Carter Smythe had effectively escaped. Feigning ignorance, he asked, “What young man?”

    “Oh, some kid who had entered the race,” Peters replied, waving the man off. “Smith or something was his name. No worries though; we have all of the participants names, numbers, and addresses. Hey! I wouldn’t be surprised if that boy took this item of yours. Rushing out of the race like that obviously signifies guilt if I ever saw it!”

    La Chance hid a smile as best as he could. He was sure he already had the blonde’s address, but for all he knew, the one Peters had could be a fake or even better, a place that he could hide out. It would also mean that he would also have the location of those two Muppets.

    “I can’t begin to tell how that would greatly ease my mind, Roger,” La Chance said. “Thank you for your generosity.”

    “Think nothing of it!” the man exclaimed. “I only hope that it will bring you closer to your search.”

    You have no idea.

    [hr]

    Another Saturday came to a close, with many of the Muppets heading home towards the end of the day. Working in entertainment meant you never actually had set working hours, unless of course you were Sam the Eagle, who always got to the theater at precisely quarter till seven in the morning every Saturday and Sunday and quarter till nine in the morning whenever he thought someone would be at the theater on the weekday.

    Most, if not all, the Muppets usually headed home in the late afternoon on the day before a show, assuming that they didn’t need to work on their act and that they weren’t going to give one or two or three more tries at getting in that week’s show.

    Usually, quitting time for the director and stage manager was around six or seven in the evening, but this time, both had called it quits a little after five. Piggy had finished much earlier in the day, about two hours before, but had always waited for Kermit when he worked late. Naturally, she had other things on her mind, specifically where she and Gonzo were going to hide that ruby.

    In the hours since she had been downstairs and that of the police coming to the theater, Piggy was now completely convinced that Royce La Chance was somehow involved with the theft of the very ruby they had found. She wasn’t sure how and she didn’t know how he had managed to get the jewel into Gonzo’s gas tank, but she just knew he had to be behind it.

    Of course, the real trick was trying to figure out how the two of them were going to prove all of that. Piggy hadn’t been kidding when she had stated that Gonzo could easily move up to prime suspect, assuming that he wasn’t already; having a stolen jewel mysteriously show up in the gas tank of your very vehicle was not a good alibi and unfortunately, the people that could normally vouch for the weirdo weren’t there.

    Camilla and some of the other chickens were doing a quick tour in Las Vegas and Denver, while Rizzo had gone back to New York to visit a few of his relatives; while he would have normally hung out with Fozzie or Kermit, he hadn’t. And of course the diva would be aware of that fact because the first place the three of them would be was at her house.

    It did not look good.

    So Piggy had spent her remaining hours trying to think of a good hiding place that no one but Gonzo and herself would know where that hiding place was. It obviously had to be a place that no one, especially Kermit, would ever suspect and hopefully someplace that the police wouldn’t think to look either.

    And she was running out of time.

    Along with trying to figure that first issue out, she had then realized that Kermit would never let her to just hang out at the theater by herself without him, especially if she didn’t have reason to. Piggy never hung out after hours at the theater unless she was waiting for Kermit and she didn’t think the frog would believe that she had forgotten something.

    No, her frog was the protective type and it would be against his very personality and upbringing if he didn’t wait for her. And the more he waited for her, the more he would get suspicious, and the more he would want to try and find out what it was she was doing.

    And she couldn’t have that.

    As she came down at five after five, Kermit and Scooter were still at that rickety desk that was reserved for the two to discuss whatever they needed to and was actively considered Kermit’s ‘outside’ office, which of course was completely different from that of the office that he routinely kept that was only three feet away or that of the one that he rarely was in, the one that was located on the lot of Muppet Studios.

    The idea was immediate and Piggy did her best not to exclaim in delight.

    “Are you boys still talking shop?” she asked, descending the stairs in the regal fashion she always tried – usually with success – to maintain.

    Both Muppets chuckled. As much as Kermit was the workaholic and Scooter was the perfectionist, the two could easily get carried away on some topic which would of course distract them from what they needed to do.

    “Sorry boss,” the frog said, grinning at the diva. Since their break up and recent reunion, Kermit had been a bit more relaxed when it came to fully admitting that while he held the leadership over the Muppets in large, there were aspects of his life that Piggy had full control over.

    “Don’t you forget it,” she quipped. Sending a playful poke at the red head, she said, “You too, boyo.”

    “Me?” Scooter asked, surprised. “Never!”

    “We got a little off topic,” Kermit said. “Go home, Scooter. We’ll go over the rest tomorrow morning.”

    “Breakfast tomorrow?” the manager asked.

    “Sure,” the frog nodded. “Eight thirty over at the Java Hut?”

    “Sure thing, Boss,” the red head nodded. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

    The trio said goodbye to each other.

    “All set, darlin’?”

    “Actually Kermie…”

    “Oh hello.”

    Gonzo choose that exact moment to make his way upstairs, with the specific reasoning of finding Piggy.

    “Gonzo,” the diva replied. “What a pleasant surprise and at the right moment too.”

    “How’s that?”

    “Well, Moi was about to tell Mon Capitan that Moi actually needs to stay for a bit.”

    “What for?” Kermit asked, confused. Piggy never stayed late at the theater unless he was there and Rowlf had headed home hours ago.

    “Moi has a fitting or two,” Piggy replied. It was a logical and plausible excuse. “You understand, don’t you?”

    “Sure,” the frog shrugged. It made sense of course that Piggy wanted to look her best for the show the next day – and the leading lady always made sure she looked her best on show day – Kermit was just surprised that she hadn’t told him of the fitting earlier.

    “I can wait for you.”

    “No,” she said, tampering down the slight exclamation that managed to escape. “Kermie, that’s very sweet of vous, but Moi will be fine. I’ll…I’ll get Gonzo to give me a ride home.”

    “Roger that, Kermit.”

    Kermit couldn’t help but think something was going on here, but he couldn’t exactly put his finger on what that was. “Gonzo.”

    “I won’t be long, dear frog,” the diva replied, sweetly, planting a kiss on the frog’s brow. That of course did nothing to turn the frog’s eyes away from the weirdo who was smiling confidently at him. “Vous needn’t worry; the freak ball will good care of me.”

    “That’s what I’m afraid of,” Kermit muttered.

    “Come on, Kermit!” Gonzo exclaimed. “What could happen?”

    “In light of recent events…”

    “Simple misunderstanding,” Piggy replied, waving the whole thing off as though nothing horrendous had just happened. “Moi will be perfectly fine and more than capable to handling anything; Gonzo will act as my shield in case anything happens.”

    “And by shield,” Gonzo deadpanned. “I’m assuming that you mean fuzzy, Muppet meat shield.”

    “You know what happens when you assume, Gonzo,” she replied, sweetly. “But in this case, yes.”

    If the two were hoping their banter would not only exasperate the frog, but overwhelm him too, they were correct. Heaving an annoyed sigh and shaking his head, Kermit huffily declared, “I’m leaving. See you at home.” before turning and heading out of the theater.

    Waiting until they both heard the familiar sound of the stage door closing and the distance sounds of the 1980s robot starting the car and driving away, the diva and daredevil made their own sighs…of relief.

    “Laid it on a bit thick,” Gonzo mentioned. “But overall, I think Kermit bought it.”

    “For the moment,” Piggy murmured. “If I know Kermit – and I know my frog – it’s only going to take him thirty minutes before he’s headed back down here.”

    “Which means we have all of ten, fifteen minutes to find a hiding place,” Gonzo finished.

    “Exactly.”

    “Got any ideas?”

    “Actually,” she said, smiling at him. “I do.”
  12. The Count Moderator

    What a good chapter. The only real nitpick I have is the overuse of "that of", but this was another entry in your best efforts category.
    Especially liked the banter between the Muppets at Kermit's outside office, a few lines there made me chuckle.

    Thank you for posting, more please?
    Oh, and don't forget the convo I sent you pending your read-through/approval.
  13. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    :grr: I is trying to break habit, I swears!

    Oh, we're just getting started. I have of course now realized this will probably be one of the longest Piggy Adventures (assuming the others aren't as long); simple mystery my [bleep bleep]

    :mad: Hey!

    Well, you lied! You said when I started this it was gonna be a straight shot, that you and Gonzo got into a little bit of a tussle on a race track and you solved a mystery. I was seriously thinking Scooby Doo here, not Perry Mason!

    And yes, Count my Count, you're cleared for takeoff, runway number nine!
  14. The Count Moderator

    :) Oh good. Because I'm rully pleased with Amanda's new monsterover.
    :sympathy: Someone say something about Scooby-Doo?
    Er, ask Gina, she probably has some Scooby snacks from either the Cheese Monster or Snack Batter Monster factories.
  15. miss kermie Well-Known Member

    *hyperventilates*

    I have caught up to this story finally!


    I love Kermit's line about Gonzo taking good care of her, and he was afraid! LOL!

    More please!
  16. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    So I know what I said in MPP, that I was gonna update this on the weekend. Well, I am, however I realized that I have left you mid-chapter, so I thought I'd give you a two for one and finish this up. Next chapter will start this weekend, kay?



    Something about the late hour always made the studios look more ominous than they did during the day. Most Muppets never stayed really late on the lot, while the few that did stay were usually with other people. Fozzie, for instance, was known to stay late, but he would never brave staying late by himself, that was for sure.

    Beau and the rats were the exception and of course, so was Uncle Deadly, the theater’s crotchety phantom.

    However, in an instance like this, not having anyone around proved to be just what two Muppets were looking for. The line Piggy had given Kermit about staying late had pacified him, for that moment, but both the diva and the weirdo knew that the frog’s suspicions would rear its head and he could arrive back on set at any time.

    Seeing the director and his assistant before they had gone had given Piggy a great idea on where to hide the ruby – Kermit’s office. Kermit’s main office on ‘office row’ as they called it was seldom used, other than being featured on some of the lot tours and when Kermit and Scooter needed to do work without prying ears and eyes.

    As far as the frog was concerned, most of his official business took place within his office in their theater or that of his home; it made his true office that more of an unknown place to hide a stolen gem.

    Gonzo had gotten an idea of where they were headed by the time they were reaching the front gates of the studio. It furthered proved that Miss Piggy wasn’t just beauty and brawn, she had brains too and when she used them, she could be literal dynamite.

    Reaching Kermit’s office, which of course started the official row of offices, Piggy took out her rather large keychain and began looking for a key.

    “Do I even want to know how you got a key to Kermit’s office?” the daredevil asked.

    “Please,” was her reply. Just as easily as Scooter was able to know what went on in the theater, Piggy had the uncanny ability to find and keep keys to anything Kermit thought about having. If it had a lock and it was the frog’s, she had a key for it.

    As expected, the office itself was completely dark, looking as pristine as the day Kermit and some of the others had come in and cleaned it. “Well?” Gonzo asked, walking through. He waited until Piggy had closed the door behind her and turned on one of the lights.

    “Where do we put this thing?”

    “Well, don’t just stand there,” she huffed. “Find a place, Gonzo!”

    Pushing down a rather insulting retort, the weirdo none the less did what he was told and began searching around for some place to hide a ruby. He stopped by the desk first, trying to decide if that would be the best or worst place to put something. Then he saw it.

    A solid metal jar that was sitting off to the side.

    The jar was known as Kermit’s snack jar. No one dared to ask – at least not the smart ones – what was the actual snack in the jar and Kermit, being the polite frog that he was, felt it was probably inappropriate to say anything.

    Grinning, Gonzo picked up the jar and shook it, wondering if there was anything crawling around in there; not hearing anything alive at least, he murmured, “Perfect.”

    “What’s perfect?”

    Gonzo held up the jar for her to see, causing the diva to grimace in disgust. “Gonzo,” she began. “I put up with that from Kermit because I love him, you on the other hand…”

    “First,” he huffed. “It’s empty. I think.”

    “You think?”

    “Well, I didn’t hear anything alive in here.”

    “Gross!”

    “Secondly,” he continued. “Even if it was full, how many people you think are gonna reach in here, huh? And even if Kermit needed a nosh, he’s not gonna come all the way out here. He’s got a similar jar in the office back at the theater and if that can’t sustain him, he’ll just chew on you for a while.”

    Piggy glared at him. “Regards of whether you are right in this situation or not,” she said. “You’ve still managed to take something and turn it into something offensive.”

    “It’s what I do,” he retorted, opening the jar and dropping the ruby in. Sealing it, the weirdo did one better and placed it within the drawer so that someone would have to actively come and look for it. “Alright,” he said. “That’s done. Now let’s get you home before Kermit comes charging back here.”

    The duo quickly left the frog’s office, putting everything back where it was in order to not raise any suspicions, and headed to Gonzo’s sedan. “You know,” he replied, as he opened the driver’s side door to get in. “I’ve been thinking.”

    “That would certainly explain the beads of sweat.”

    “So cute you are,” he muttered, glaring at his companion. “I’m thinking, if we’re going to go all Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson on this, wouldn’t it be a good idea to, you know, check out the crime scene? Look for clues and what not?”

    “That’s actually not a bad idea,” the diva murmured, feeling the car start up and pull forward before picking up speed as they headed off the lot. “And to think, you actually use your brain for more than just crazy stunts.”

    “Watson never talked to Holmes like this.”

    “What’re you on?” she huffed. “I’m Holmes, you’re Watson.”

    As the two headed off into the night and towards Beverly Hills, another car sat in the distance watching them. There was only one person within, but it was enough in order to pull out a cell phone and dial a number. “It’s me,” replied the mysterious driver. “They just left. No, it was just the two of them. They left the theater and headed into one of the offices that’s located in the back, first from the end if you’re coming in from the gate.

    “Not sure what they did,” they continued. “But they were only in there for about fifteen, maybe twenty minutes. Want me to follow them?”

    From inside a darkened office, Det. Day shook his head. “No,” he replied. “That’s okay, Marky. Why don’t you head on home? Chez and I will pick it up tomorrow. Alright, good night.” Day hung up the phone and continued staring at the folders that were lying across his desk.

    Fanned out, the top two folders were that of the Great Gonzo and Miss Piggy, two members of the famed Muppet group that were popular in Hollywood and around the world and currently, two of the most interesting profiles he had been studying. On the surface, the two of them shouldn’t have had any connection, however the more Day spoke to them that afternoon seemed to belie that statement.

    “If the two of you aren’t involved,” he muttered to himself. “Why are you so cagey?”

    It was a mystery and one that Day planned to discover and solve.
  17. The Count Moderator

    Yay! Update. And it brings us at least some measure of closure to know where Gonzo stashed the bloodstone. But don't you think that hiding it in Kermit's office will only bring down trouble for Kermit when it's found? Oh well, you'll figure something out. *Leaves to check other fics.
  18. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    Nope and I'd tell you why, but I think the next chapter will explain it better.
  19. miss kermie Well-Known Member

    I seriously love the playfulness.

    Piggy and gonzo are a comedy duo , and they don't even know it.


    I know that crack about kermit chewing on piggy burned her up!

    Oh, and I think my favorite line, was piggy and her brains brawn and beauty! Triple threat to man! More please!
  20. WebMistressGina Well-Known Member

    What up folks!? Happy Vet's Day to anyone who is or knows a Vet. And as promised, here is your weekend update to Motocross!


    VII.

    Sunday mornings were the worst.

    The day of a show was just as hectic as the days leading up to it, as well as the hours that started to count down the closer it got. It short, it was a perfect day for Piggy and Gonzo to get away.

    In many cases, the two were often headliners for their weekly show, but with the issues their little public fight had wrought, both had opted not to be involved in that week’s show; this meant that they essentially had the day off, which of course played right into their plans for the day.

    Kermit, being the director and captain of their insanity ship, had already left for his morning meeting with Scooter. The two often met before a show in order to get the full rundown of acts, as well as preparing each other for the expected and unexpected should it occur. From there, they would head over to the theater to try to save as much of their sanity as they could before show time.

    Piggy would of course be there for the show, she always was regardless if she was in the show or not. It was almost a requirement that a performer hang around in the case that an act couldn’t perform or was dragged off stage; that had certainly happened more often than not in their previous incarnation of the show and for those that had been a part of it, it made sense to stay around just in case.

    But it wasn’t show time, at least in the case of a performance. This morning, it would be show time in the sense of taking off her diva extraordinaire hat and putting on her amateur detective hat. Many weren’t aware of the fact that Piggy loved a good mystery; maybe it was a product of doing their second movie or her association with Kermit, who had always enjoyed those classic black and white movies so much.

    Either way, Piggy had gotten an appreciation for the cloak and dagger that was involved in sorting through clues and finding the culprit. Perhaps it was the danger element that got her; she was not a pig that shied away from getting a little dirty, as her recent soirée had proven. Whatever it was, she found it intriguing, exciting, and adventurous.

    In hindsight, she wished her frog was her daring and dashing partner in all of this, but as he had mentioned to those police officers, the only person who remotely shared her love of a good motorcycle was Gonzo and the fates had decided that he would be her partner in crime this time around and she would just have to take what she was given.

    Not that she was going to particularly enjoy it.

    As if on cue, her cell phone beeped, indicating that she had just received a text message of sort and when checking it, she saw it was from the furry freak ball she was just thinking about.

    Weirdo: Hey Watson, you ready to roll? I’ll be there in fifteen.

    Rolling her eyes, she quickly sent a text back.

    The Princess: Waiting on you, freak boy. And you’re Watson!

    Weirdo: You ready or what? I’m outside.

    Again, Piggy rolled her eyes at his impatience and continued to leisurely drink her second cup of coffee that morning. Within five minutes, she heard the sound of Gonzo’s car pull into the driveway and it was only moments before she heard a short knock and then the opening of the front door.

    Draining the last precious amount of caffeine that was left in the mug, the diva went through the motions of turning off the coffee maker and dumping her mug into the sink before heading out towards the living room. "You know,” she began, seeing that the blue creature had made himself at home on the couch and was enjoying the bowl of candy that she and Kermit had out for those who came by.

    “In most cases, people wait until they’ve been asked to come in before, you know, actually coming in. What if I had been undressed or something?”

    Raising an eyebrow at her, Gonzo replied, “I’m sorry. How would that be bad exactly?”

    “You’re a cretin.”

    “I’m your cretin,” he said, cheekily.

    “No,” she retorted. “You are the frog’s cretin.”

    “You ready to roll, Princess?”

    “For your information, freak monkey,” she said, donning one of her many pairs of matching sunglasses across her eyes. “Moi is always ready.”


    [hr]


    The Ocean Prince Museum of Art was located on the outskirts of Pasadena, just outside the city. Named after curators Don Ocean and Marcus Prince, the museum had once been a run-downed warehouse that was set for demolition; both Ocean and Prince had seen a second life for the building, turning it into the museum that it was now.

    It had been a small and not very profitable business that the two had gone into and it hadn’t done anything monetarily wise until the early 1970s. Being so close to Hollywood offered the museum some of the artifacts that would pass through the city on their way to other museums on the west coast. Hollywood of course had a love affair with their stars, both their lives and deaths, and when the Ocean got a piece of that, their attendance numbers skyrocketed.

    This was mostly due to their special and rare items that the museum would preview – they had at one time held the very last works of Vincent Van Gogh and Henri Matisse, they had once done a special spy section in honor of the 25th anniversary of James Bond, though they hosted many an artifact from both spy movies and spy television shows.

    Their biggest draw had been that of the Hope Diamond, the infamously cursed jewel that seemed to spell bad luck and doom to anyone that the misfortune to own it. Curiously, the cursed gem seemed to bring about good luck for the museum; twice they had been broken into by thieves who were trying to steal the diamond and both times, the thieves had met an untimely end.

    It was also the turn around the museum needed in order to compete against their high profile cousins in Hollywood and Los Angeles.

    Despite having some of the world’s greatest treasures behind their doors, the museum was certainly nothing that resembled Fort Knox or even a well-maintained security system that the Muppet Theatre had in place. Gonzo and Piggy could plainly see that as they drove up across the street, defeating the odds and deftly finding a close parking space.

    Once again, thanks to a robbery, the museum was as hot as ever and their seemed to be a score of people that were coming and leaving the museum. “You’d think after having a priceless jewel stolen from their building, they’d have a little more security,” Piggy murmured as Gonzo came around the car to the passenger side.

    They noted the streets were lined with cars, but none of them officially marked police cars and all of them seemed to be empty, indicating that even if there was an unmarked car, the officer assigned wasn’t anywhere near his.

    “Could be inside,” Gonzo whispered back. “Smart cops don’t just stand about on the sidewalk looking pretty. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the action was inside. Come on, I’ll buy you a ticket.”

    The two walked across, keeping an eye out for errant and fast drivers as they crossed the street, and reached the ticket counter. The cashier, an obviously bored teenaged girl that was spending her weekend at a job she clearly hated, barely looked up as they approached, asking for two tickets. She readily took Gonzo’s money and printed out two tickets, all without even bothering to look up from whatever smartphone text conversation she might be having.

    The inside of the museum was split into several different sections, each with its own significance in terms of history. On the ground floor, areas such as Pasadena’s past and ancient discoveries were prominent features, as were areas that displayed different artifacts from around the world.

    “Isn’t this great!?”

    Gonzo was literally like a kid in a candy store. Granted, he usually got excited when encountering things that defied the rational explanation of normalcy, such as curiosity museums and museums of death; once, when making a comment about the validity and expertise of a crime show like CSI, Kermit had turned to him stating, “Gonzo, you have an unhealthy obsession with death.”

    The daredevil’s response had been, “You only die twice, Kermit. You only die twice.”

    “Once, Gonzo,” the frog had corrected. “It’s you only die once.”

    “Oh, is that how it goes?”

    Other than his unnatural obsession with death, Gonzo also enjoyed all things curious and that include unusual history and everything that went with it. The Muppet stuntman thought he had been to every museum in California or at least, that was on his bucket list, but in stepping through the doors of the Ocean Prince, he realized that he hadn’t even heard of this one until the ruby’s theft.

    “Hey Piggy!” he exclaimed, grabbing one of the museum’s maps and eagerly scanning it. “There’s an Egyptian exhibit upstairs that we should see. Oh! Hey, look! They even have a French modernist something something up there, too. How many museums did you see when you were in France?”

    “Gonzo!” the diva huffed, slapping the map from the blue creature’s hands. “We are here for a reason! And that reason is not to sightsee.”

    “I know that,” the daredevil retorted, looking dejectedly at the map on the ground. “But hey, how many times do we get to hang out together?”

    Piggy just stared at him. “Gonzo,” she replied, slowly. “We never hang out together on the count that I don’t want to be seen with you.”

    “Exactly.”

    Biting her lip, Piggy tried her best to keep herself from punching the daredevil then and there. While he had been going on and on about what was in the museum, the diva had been casing the joint, checking out the security personnel – which was lax and nonexistent – as well as any cameras that were in the building – also seemingly nonexistent.

    “Find where they kept that ruby,” she growled. “Or I’m going to find an ancient artifact to stuff your body in.”

    “I don’t know why Kermit insists on going on trips with you,” he grumbled, bending over and scooping up his now crumbled map. “You are the worst.”

    Looking over the map, Gonzo tried to find the listing for all of the exhibits and was actually surprised to see the Rheingold Ruby listed as being a part of the German history section, which was located off to their left. Pointing in that direction, Gonzo led the diva pig towards the room where the ruby had been.

    The room itself had obviously been set up in order to display the ruby, however it was now cleared out, with exception to the police tape that seemed to be everywhere. The pedestal that had held the ruby was placed in the center of the room, still covered by a glass case that clearly had a clean cut hole in it.

    “There’s nothing in here,” Piggy complained, looking around and only seeing white walls and debris. “This place is as empty as a Jimmy Fallon show.”

    “Well, what did you expect?” Gonzo asked, ducking under some yellow police tape.

    “I expected a little more security,” the pig huffed. “Have you noticed there aren’t any cameras in here? And other than the yellow tape, look how easy it was for us to walk in. And I don’t see any security personnel telling us to move along. What gives?”

    Gonzo wasn’t exactly paying attention. He was spending his time walking around the area in which the ruby had been placed, looking this way and that at both the walls and the ceiling. “Got any powder?” he asked, glancing at her over his shoulder.

    “You’re thinking of beauty enhancements now?” she asked, incredulously.

    Rolling his eyes and huffing, Gonzo continued to press. “Do you or don’t you?”

    Despite dressing as casual as was possible when Piggy would be out and about – capri pants, one of Kermit’s dress shirts covered by a nice blue blazer, and a matching military cadet hat – the diva was nonetheless always prepared for anything at any time.

    Reaching into her jacket pocket, she pulled out a small container of foundation and tossed it to the daredevil. Nodding his thanks, Gonzo knelt down to the floor, unscrewing the top of the jar as he did so. The diva watched in confusion, opening her mouth to ask just what he thought he was doing, but closed it as she watched his movements.

    Dumping some of the loose powder carefully into his hand, Gonzo then leaned slightly forward, blowing across his hand to distribute the powder through the air. Piggy would about to chastise him for wasting perfectly good powder, which she would note, was special order and would probably need to take at least a week to get delivered, when the method to the stuntman’s madness was revealed.

    Gonzo hadn’t been just wasting perfectly good special order foundation powder, he had been revealing the security system that Piggy felt had been lacking in the room. When the powder had been blown through the air, thus landing on the floor below, a long beam of light red line came through, showing that a high tech beam system covered the floor and probably the entire room they were standing in.

    “Laser beam,” Piggy murmured, nodding in respect to the unique way Gonzo had discovered the ruse.

    Standing, the daredevil looked towards the walls. “And if I’m right,” he said. “The trajectory of this would place the ruby in a nice secured square.” Pointing to the wall to their right and drawing an invisible line to the other side of the room, he continued with, “From there to there to the back of the room.”

    Holding up the tiny foundation jar, he said, “I hope you have more.”

    “Think of who you’re talking to.”

    Nodding again, the stuntman proceeded to repeat his identity method, revealing there was a laser beam security system that stretched about two feet above the ground, creating a barrier from the floor and to about the waist of the two Muppets in the room.

    “I stand corrected,” the diva replied. “The museum obviously felt the best way to prevent the ruby’s theft was to put a security system right in plain sight. But if that’s true, how did the thief get the ruby in the first place? If he tried walking through, the alarm would go off and obviously it didn’t.”

    “Well,” Gonzo murmured, looking up. “Depending on how sensitive these things are, the only other way would be through the roof. See the vent up there? Now with that said, you’d have to be pretty agile and limber to avoid getting caught. I did an act once where I balanced a sword on my nose and juggled three bowling balls, all while standing over a platform that was surrounded by these things.

    “I actually still use a similar set up, if just to work on my balance and juggling skills. Of course, my lasers are set to, you know, put a hole in a man the size of Texas, but same concept.”

    Stifling any comments about the bizarreness of standing over actual laser beams as part of not only an act, but practice, Piggy got the gist of what Gonzo was alluding too.

    “A cat burglar.”

    “And an experienced one at that,” the daredevil nodded.

    “So he comes in through the roof,” the diva replied. “Through the vent, let’s say. Quid pro quo, how does he manage to get through the security up there?”

    Gonzo shrugged. “Who says the museum has security on the roof?” he asked. “More importantly, who says we’re dealing with one guy?”

    Not wanting to waste a perfectly good day and a twenty dollar ticket, the investigative duo decided to take a look around the rest of the museum, enjoying some of the exhibits and really, just enjoying each other’s company. Gonzo and Piggy, despite being the best of enemies, really were best friends at heart.

    Oh, Piggy wouldn’t go so far as saying Gonzo was one of her best friends; she just wouldn’t do that, but she would concede, privately, that the stuntman had always looked after her and when he wasn’t in the running for the weirdest person she had ever known, he could be quite sweet and thoughtful when he wanted to be.

    One hour spent for the day, the two headed back across the street to Gonzo’s car. As they got in and the weirdo started the engine, Piggy got a reflective look on her face. “Say Watson,” she began. “I’ve been thinking.”

    “About a role reversal?” he asked, looking over his shoulder for oncoming traffic and then pulling out onto the street. “I agree. I’m much better suited to be Holmes.”

    Piggy glared at him. “No,” she huffed. “I was thinking, the initial reason we got tagged in all of this was because the police traced two of their suspects to that race.”

    The stuntman nodded, catching on to her thoughts. “What does the race have to do with the theft?” he asked.

    “And why were they there in the first place?”

    “To ditch the ruby?”

    “But why?” Piggy countered. “If they ditched the ruby, what was the whole point in stealing it in the first place? And in ditching it with you, how’re they supposed to get it back?”

    “They can’t,” Gonzo said. “They’re dead, remember?”

    “Ah ha,” Piggy replied, holding up one finger. “Those potential racers are dead. It’s like you said, what makes you think we’re talking about one guy? Or even two guys? Most jewel heists aren’t pulled off by one guy; there’s usually a group that’s behind it. And I can almost guarantee you that La Chance is one of those guys.”


    [hr]


    While Piggy and Gonzo had been exploring the Ocean Prince museum and that of the scene of the crime, Royce La Chance was making his way to the very museum. Thinking along the same lines, he too wanted to see just what progress the police had made in the case. Out of the five original members of his little gang, he had eliminated three of them and only had one more person to get through.

    That proved to be tricky.

    While he already was aware of where that Smythe kid lived, he didn’t know where he was. He had personally been staking out the boy’s address and hadn’t seen anything of him for the last week. That of course did nothing to calm the normally very calm and smooth cat burglar.

    The one thing he did know was that the ruby was somewhere in or near the possession of those Muppets that had been in the race with him. He was fairly sure that they weren’t aware of just how precious that junky bike of the blue creature’s was, but the problem La Chance had was trying to get to the bike in the first place.

    His initial idea of suing them and getting that bike in as evidence had backfired with that upstart of a prepubescent manager of theirs and so far, all of his attempts on trying to get the Muppets into court had failed. This whole situation was starting to really irk him and now instead of just getting rid of two pesky Muppets, he had extended it to three or more should they really become a problem.

    This Sunday, Royce had sat down and reprioritized his thoughts and ideas. For all he knew, the ruby wasn’t even with the Muppet and that kid had pulled a fast one on him, but he couldn’t be sure until he found the kid or found the ruby. And he didn’t like those odds. Ultimately, he decided that he also needed to know just how much the police were aware of his involvement and what facts they did know, if they knew any.

    That’s what had him headed down to the Ocean Prince museum on a Sunday morning. The crowds would’ve been out, which made it perfect for La Chance to just blend in and take a look around.

    Pulling up to the curb, La Chance made ready to get out of the car when he spotted two people he didn’t think would show their faces to him outside of a courtroom. There, walking across the street to a nice light blue Honda CR-V that was parked against the curb.

    “You’ve got to be kidding,” he muttered, glaring daggers at them as they got into the car. He couldn’t believe those two! What in Sam Davies were they doing at the museum? The boiling rage he felt was only tempered by one very interesting fact – wasn’t there speculation about the relationship between the frog and pig?

    A slow smile became to form on the thief’s face as he quickly started up the car and pulled out into the street, only one car length behind that of the SUV he was tailing. In the best of hope, perhaps they would lead him to the ruby, assuming that they were aware they had it.

    And at this point, with them leaving the scene of the crime, they had to be aware of it.
    If that didn’t work, La Chance thought he might have something better in his arsenal and he was never above the art of blackmail.


    [hr]


    While Gonzo and Piggy toured the scene of the crime and while La Chance had discovered that his quarry had been where he had wanted to go, an unassuming museum patron was making his way outside, following the departure of the Great Gonzo and Miss Piggy.

    Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed a number and leaned against the side of building, keeping an eye on all that was going on outside. Once he heard the answer on the other side, he began to speak.

    “Thought you’d like to know that those two Muppets were at the museum today,” he said. “That’s just it; they were here together. Yeah, they had a nice long look at the exhibit room, just like you thought they would.” The man nodded, listening to the response being told to him.

    “They look pretty normal enough,” he said. “Though I thought they looked pretty cozy when they went through the French exhibit. Yeah Chief, I took pictures; I sent them before coming outside, should get them right about now.” The man waited a bit before hearing the confirmation over the phone.

    “I just watched them leave,” he said. “It’s Sunday though, don’t they do that show of theirs on Sundays?” He nodded, listening to instructions. “Okay Chief,” he said. “I’ll head on over, see if they come in or not. Daniels out.”


    [hr]


    Arriving at the home of the diva and the frog, Gonzo kept the car running with the intention of dropping Piggy off and then heading home himself. However, their conversation as they left the museum haunted him the entire drive, despite distractedly answering some of the diva’s questions and comments.

    “Piggy, listen,” he began, causing the leading lady to halt her departure. “I really think we need to go to the police about this.”

    “What?”

    “It’s like you said,” he continued. “What if there are more than one of these jewel thieves? The police said that the two suspects they had were dead, what if the ringleader or whoever…murdered them or something? Piggy, if they find out where we hid that ruby…”

    “They won’t,” she started, but was quickly interrupted by her driving companion.

    “How do you know that!?” Gonzo insisted. “This is getting pretty serious, Princess, and you know Kermit would never forgive me if I let anything happen to you. Heck, I would never forgive myself if I let anything happen to you!”

    Piggy sat back in her seat, glancing at Gonzo from the side. Weirdo and eccentric as he was, the daredevil was a sweetheart. “Sweetie,” she whispered. “I appreciate the concern, I really do, but we’re fine. Besides, if we don’t investigate this, you’re the one who’s going to the big house, no one else. Everything’s stacked against you, Gonzo; you know that, I know that, and more importantly, the police know that.”

    The blue weirdo sighed, deeply. She was right and she knew it; evidence was clear against him just by the fact that he had discovered the gem within his own gas tank. The argument could be easily made that he had hid it there after the robbery and if not for the fight finale, he would’ve gone off into the sunset with it.

    “Hey,” she whispered. “You trust me, right?”

    He smirked. “As far as you can throw me.”

    “So don’t worry,” she said. “Think of this as my good deed for all the times you kept me off Kermit’s radar.”

    “You mean all the times I took the heat for you.”

    “Exactly.” One last charming smile was what she left the stuntman with as she got out of the car and headed towards the front door of her home.

    Taking another deep breath, Gonzo muttered, “Hope you’re right.”

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