WINNER! 2007 Muppet Presidential Election Part 4

[The Count]

Mmm. Good thing I already had me a Boston Scream doughnut with milk before getting here. Heh, guess that gives me a bit of an idea for Cookie.

Might have to post my. Oh sorry, got lost there.
Everyone vote for, well, whoever you want to vote for!

 

[Luke]

Dr Bunsen: In honor of my victory in the last round i have returned, and with a new look - cosmetically enhanced thighs, hips, and um, Bunz - so hellloooo lady voters. Secondly i would like to send my best wishes to former candidate Piggy and wonder which candidate she shall now be endorsing ! *sends giftwrapped Versace dress to Miss Piggy with card - Luv Bunzy x *.

Now then, onto business. First questions from my good friend pee pee. Where do i stand on Saltwater Taffy? Nowhere, i like to eat it, not stand on it. Secondly my policy on Monogomy - well in my view why have just one partner when you can have a party in your pants and invite everyone. Lastly - Pops, my campaign is fully funded by the sales of my political broadcast workout DVD which includes Penguins in Tutus, Josie and the Pussycat Dolls, and "The Bunzettes". An autographed complimentary copy is on its way to you!

Thanks everyone and keep voting for Dr Bunz !

 

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, salt water taffy is one of my favorite subjects! I love to eat it all gone, it is so good, salty and sweet, genius! And monogomy? Well, whatever it is, does it have anything to do with these things? *two Snowths pop up* Every time I say monogomy-
Snowths: Doo do doo do doo!
Grover: They do that. Oh, and Count, sir, my campaign is being funded by Mr. Johnson! My dedicated customer who accidentally forgot his credit card last time he ate a Charlie's.

 

[The Count]

Count: *Leans in. Uh Grover, it vasn't I who asked that question. It vas Pops.
Maybe ve need some more people to count their wotes. Seems noone's come to help out your cause or Bunsen's for that matter since yesterday.

 

[theprawncracker]

Grover: Oh, sorry Pops, sir. Vote for Grover.

 

[Luke]

Dr Bunsen: My fellow Muppets, monsters, penguins, rats and whatevers. I would like to remind everybody of my campaign policys that will be brought into power should i be elected into office. People may say i'm not as cute and cuddly as Mr Grover, however many of you will not know that i was the centrefold of "Biology Magazine" in May 1979. My policys are as follows -

• Free Muppet Underwear For All - It is important in this age of Muppet decline we all wear our Muppet underpants with pride. Preferably over the pants, or lederhosen for our European friends.
• I will greenlight immediately "Fraggle Rock - The Musical" in a prime broadway location. I will hold televised auditions for Doozers, who will be encouraged to wear tutus.
• I will repaint the white house "Kermit Green" and install a hot-tub in the Oval Office. Penguins will wear tuxes and invite you to take a dip, while Rats with laptops will calculate your tax refund check.
• My head of Homeland Security will be Bobo The Bear, and Crazy Harry will handle foriegn relations. Rizzo The Rat will handle agriculture & cheese. Sam The Eagle will advise on patriotism.
• I will send for Micky Mouse immediately and encourage him (with a scientific ray gun) to greenlight the Muppet documentary spoof currently being pitched. I will also kick his booty until he see's my point on new Muppet CD's, a Muppet corner of The Disney Store, and the Muppetworld theme park.
• My campaign is all about fun. So everyday at 2pm we will have happy hour and you will be encouraged to nerf gun your friends.
• I will campaign vigorously for the return of multiple exclamation marks, and ellipses to Muppet Central and request the Pussycat Dolls be added to MC Radio (and encourage them to record covers of Muppet songs for this occasion)
• New shows for TV will include Interspecies Dating with Pepe The Prawn, The Electric Mayhem Live Concert, Kermit & Piggy - Live Wedding Broadcast, Kermit & Piggy - The Aftermath, Nerd Talk With Bunsen "Mr Science" Honeydew, 680 Minute Makeover With Miss Piggy.
• I will campaign for the mastertape of Muppet Wizard Of Oz to be burnt immediately and anybody who ever mentions this production or any obscure foriegn language Muppet Commercials will be thwacked with a Rubber Chicken.

Anybody who wishes to ask me questions about these policys or about anything else is welcome, and i hope i will get your vote. Thank you!

 

[The Count]

Fleet Scribbler: Any questions on your policies? Then how do you respond to the lawsuit levied against you by former assistant Beaker for multiple life-endangering hazardous work conditions and unfair salary payments pittiusly below the minimum wage? And the issue that some of the penguin waiters have been mercilessly mocking the cardboard cutout of the lovely Ms. Brittany Speares, going so far as to make a new bald cutout forced to drown in ice cold jacuzzi waters?

 

[Beauregard]

[*]I will campaign for the mastertape of Muppet Wizard Of Oz to be burnt immediately and anybody who ever mentions this production or any obscure foriegn language Muppet Commercials will be thwacked with a Rubber Chicken.

Dr Bunz, Dr Bunz, would it be possible in your conflagration of the Mwoo mastertape, to accidently leave pirate copies of the Scooter scenes on YouTube? Twas nice to see him again.

And, will you campain for the release of Timepiece and The Cube on DVD? or recorded on YouTube in high-resolution?

 

[Luke]

Dr Bunz: Bunzy here and time for todays mailbag - firstly i hereby declare all Scooter scenes sacred and to be archived forever, and Timpiece and Cube on DVD are a must. The penguins would like to completely refute all allegations of impropriety with Miss Britney Spears and reassure me they're all fully paid up fan club members. Lastly, the subject of Mr Beaker is a controversial one but i can assure you that the meagre income he earns at the Labs is supplemented by opening shopping malls, pizza restaurants and mortuarys as a result of the fame he has earned. It has also improved his love life!

 

[The Count]

Fleet: That's not what a Quackvin Featherline says. According to him, the penguins have formed clicks in which they take turns throwing balls at the jacuzzi dunk tank to dunk the bald Britney cutout into the chilly waters. What's more, they've gone so far as to performing little sketches with the soggy Britney feeding and choking off of soggy popcorn and having to endure bad sitcom-like conditions with a Paris Hilton cardboard cutout at the jailhouse set in their waitering lodgings.