Suicide and homicide won't end well for anybody.
My dad was just as abusive, and an alcoholic too. Made life impossible . So when I was 19, I moved out.
Wasn't easy, I struggled for years, but I didn't have to live under his roof anymore.
I don't want you to suffer, but if things get bad enough it might motivate you to do the same. Why suffer in an abusive environment if you don't have to?