S'nowth; I'm gonna' be brutally honest here: I think that you are a lot of fun here on the boards; you're refreshing and honest and as far as a fan goes, you're top notch. But threads like this are a really scrutinous cry for attention that I don't think can fill this void of paranoia you have. You know people here like you, and you know you're a fun person. Threads like this are not going to accomplish giving you that "pumped-up-feel-good-about-yourself-and-let-the-serotonin-flow" feeling you're craving. Remember; this is an internet forum, you can't base what others feel about you solely from here, although we can all tell you're a great person.