West Nile, Swine Flu, Meningitis, and Sequelitis

D'Snowth

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There's going to be a Sharknado 4.

If the subtitle for 3 was "Oh **** No," then what's the subtitle for 4 going to be?!
 

Drtooth

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It should totally be "Sharknado 4: The Joke is *&^%ing Dead Already!"

Seriously. Yeah, the same crappy film team that makes crappy DTV movies to crappily cash in on other films in the same way that Enchanted Tales fooled myopic grannies into buying their grandkids crappy Disney knockoffs actually made a movie that was GAWDAWFUL on purpose and stumbled buttbackwards into a hit because it was terrible on purpose. Now the joke about it being terrible on purpose is the only thing fueling the movie and the fandom. To the point where they cast terrible people in the third movie for the sake of saying "look how terrible we made this movie! It has polarizing jerks in it because that's how terrible we want to make the film!"

Seriously. Bow the heck out! Make another terrible on purpose movie.
 

D'Snowth

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It's finally happening: Mike Myers is making a fourth Austin Powers movie.

Now, this isn't too surprising, considering he said back in the day that he wanted to make an Austin Powers movie for every James Bond movie there is, but this begs the question: why has he waited so long to do another one? The last Austin Powers movie was almost fifteen years ago, and he's clearly gotten older and heavier since then . . . I mean, yeah, it was fun to see him reprise Dr. Evil again recently on SNL, but that's SNL, it worked in that format, but I don't see how he can pull off doing Austin, Dr. Evil, or any other character in a new movie after all these years.

Oh, and why is everybody acting surprised that there's going to be an AVATAR 2? James Cameron said when the first one came out that he was alreadyt planning a sequel, so it's not like this is anything new to us.
 

Drtooth

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It's finally happening: Mike Myers is making a fourth Austin Powers movie.

Now, this isn't too surprising, considering he said back in the day that he wanted to make an Austin Powers movie for every James Bond movie there is, but this begs the question: why has he waited so long to do another one? The last Austin Powers movie was almost fifteen years ago, and he's clearly gotten older and heavier since then . . . I mean, yeah, it was fun to see him reprise Dr. Evil again recently on SNL, but that's SNL, it worked in that format, but I don't see how he can pull off doing Austin, Dr. Evil, or any other character in a new movie after all these years.
The only movie that was able to pull off the decades old wait for a sequel was Jurassic World. And even then, while the second and third movies made money, they weren't really all that well liked compared to the original. Plus, JW was kinda tongue in cheek, almost making fun of itself for being a sequel made 20 years later. They even had a line about how it's not just enough to have dinosaurs, they have to be bigger and better. By all means, that little nod to it being ridiculous to make a sequel to a movie from that long ago made the movie delightful. Had they pulled the entire thing off straight, it just wouldn't have had that punch, and it would have been Narmy.

The thing about Austin Powers... ehhhh... I really wish he'd make it a cartoon series on FX or something instead. Austin Powers is a very late 90's early 00's film series. The humor probably wouldn't work as well. The whole reference parody overdose thing was worn out by Family Guy, Robot Chicken., stuff like that. To say the least of post-Wayans Scary Movie type films. Would all that still seem fresh after that kind of humor is long past? Especially spy movie parodies, which are at least fresher than the Super Hero parody. Mike Myers deserves a second chance at film. Seems that the only last worthwhile role he had was a certain ogre film series (strangely enough it was the same last decent role Eddie Murphy has).


Oh, and why is everybody acting surprised that there's going to be an AVATAR 2? James Cameron said when the first one came out that he was alreadyt planning a sequel, so it's not like this is anything new to us.
Agreed. Like it wasn't obvious a sequel was inevitable. I'm just surprised we haven't had it yet.
 

D'Snowth

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Well, turns out we were pretty much right all along: the reason why so many movies get so many sequels anymore in this day and age is because franchises are the most profitable movies Hollywood can bank on right now as opposed to stand-alone features, or even actual new movies (like that Bradley Cooper movie where he's a washed-up chef is already bombing because it's a new movie that isn't already associated with a franchise).
 

Drtooth

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It's unfair to compare all standalone films to Burnt. Sure, you'd think that the same guy who was Rocket Raccoon and the guy from American Sniper (last year's two most profitable films, BTW) would carry a film, but it's all about the kind of film it was meant to be.

While we love to harp on big greedy unoriginal Hollywood's sequels of remakes of reboots of sequels, their "original films" are just as cynically produced (if not more) than the big budget films.

Face it. Hollywood favors 2 kinds of films. Ones they make to make money and ones they make to get awards. And they follow the same pattern they would of any Marvel Super Hero movie (which is at least entertaining and well done...provided Disney makes it)... biased biopic, supposedly heart warming "real life story" of something, historical tragedy or struggle, usually with hopeful elements, old British biddies (so we can totally forget about their refusal to let woman of a certain age star in films)... subject matter deemed, at best, something to check out on streaming or home video, or, at worst, something too pretentious and dull to take seriously. These films aren't meant to make money until the Oscars picks them up as nominees and then the film going public leaps on them being the very same kind of sheeple they whine about seeing blockbusters.

Not to say that there aren't good ones or well done hidden gems that we don't pick up on because of the lack of marketing. But these prestige films are just as coldly calculated as the very same summer blockbuster frustrated film school students make you feel like an idiot for liking.
 

D'Snowth

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So in the months to come, we're looking forward to:

- MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2 (uh, how long ago was the first one?)
- THE NUT JOB 2 (was the first one even good?)
- KUNG FU PANDA 3 (didn't they already do three movies?)

Regarding the MBFGW sequel, I notice everybody is making the same complaint I've been making about ICE AGE for years: the first one was fine as a stand-alone feature, sequeling was completely unnecessary. Granted, I've never actually watched MBFGW, but that's what I've been saying about ICE AGE.
 
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