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Gorgon Heap
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I didn't realize how little work this one actually required. Last night and tonight I got to reading my file of all my TMS outlines, completed and in the works, and my ideas for more, and realized this one was almost done. So I finished it.
I included a character from a little-seen Muppets and Ed Sullivan special called "The Great Santa Claus Switch": Lothar, the fortune-telling fez-wearing Frackle, who lives in the Magic Pot. He was performed by Jim Henson in a sort of ogre-ish voice, a cross between Rowlf and Link Hogthrob's voices and a wonderfully dry wit. He also had a habit of referring to his boss, self-proclaimed 'king of evil' Cosmo Scam, with alliterative addresses, such as "O master of mirth" and "O misguided magician". For more info and pictures, see the following links:
http://members.tripod.com/themuppetshow2002/id29.htm
http://www.geocities.com/muppetchristmas/images/sullivan-pages3-4.jpg
And now, without further ado, here it is!
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: RED SKELTON
STYLE: MID SECOND SEASON (circa Bernadette Peters/Rudolf Nureyev episodes)
COLD OPENING:
Scooter: “Red Skelton! 30 seconds to curtain, Mr. Skelton!”
Red is wheezing as he does in his “Guzzler’s Gin” bit.
Scooter: “Oh, practicing for your ‘Guzzler’s Gin’ bit, huh?”
Red: “No Scooter, it’s this coffee! No offense.”
Scooter: “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s our mistake. George!”
George the Janitor walks in.
Scooter: “George, there’s been a mix-up.”
George: “Oh.” (grabs the cup, dips brush in it) “The, uh, stairs need a new coat of varnish.”
He leaves. Red is surprised.
Scooter: “Can I get you anything else?”
Red: “Yeah, some water. But make sure it’s water!”
OPENING THEME:
S & W: they’re eating in rhythm
Statler (eating chips): “CHEW, CHEW, CHEW, CHEW-CH-CHEW”
Waldorf (drinking with a straw): “SLURP!”
Gonzo: a Snerf comes out of the trumpet
OPENING NUMBER: “I’m Always Chasing Rainbows”- Robin sings
Statler: “That was a great show! Brilliant! Wonderful!”
Waldorf: “Hey, that was just the opening number.”
Statler: “You had to spoil it for me, didn’t you?”
BACKSTAGE: Scooter comes in with a crate. Inside is a gift from his uncle: The Fortune 500 Fortune-Telling system. Scooter tells Kermit that it’s the latest, hi-tech, state-of-the-art system in fortune telling! It comes complete with the ‘magic pot’, and Lothar, “your friendly fortune-teller”. Lothar is initially less-than-friendly.
Lothar: “Go away, I’m takin’ a nap! That’s the last time I travel coach. Feels like I was sent in a crate.”
Scooter: “You were sent in a crate.”
SKETCH: Red, accompanied by the Muppet swayback horse, plays Deadeye in a cowboy saloon
Statler: "Red Skelton is hilarious!"
Waldorf: "Yes, a real scream!"
Statler: "Phenomenal!"
Waldorf: "How do you suppose he wound up on this show?"
Statler: "They probably grabbed him when no one was looking!"
S & W: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
BACKSTAGE: Lothar is on the phone with Cosmo (Scam, that is)
Lothar: “I’m doin’ fine in the new job... Well, it hasn’t been the same for me either, Cosmo...”
Gonzo asks Lothar whether or not his act will be met with success. Lothar brings him words of wisdom: “Wear protective clothing, preferably body armor.”
Sam has been watching the whole ordeal and remarks that the practice of seeking wisdom from this freak is “childish, disgusting, and immoral. It’s weird… it’s… strange… mysterious…” Then, when he’s sure no one is looking, he asks Lothar if he will ever succeed in making the show cultural and morally upright.
SONG: “I Believe in You”- Catgut sings to a real cat
DRESSING ROOM: Scooter watches as Red does pantomimes describing different types of audience members of “The Muppet Show”
BACKSTAGE: Lothar runs into an old associate: Thog, who can’t remember who Lothar is.
Lothar: “Remember, you and Thig used to work with me?”
Thog: “Who’s Thig?”
Lothar: “Thig, as in Thig & Thog!”
Thog: “Who’s Thog?”
Lothar: “That’s you- oh never mind.”
Vet’s Hospital- Uncle Deadly is the patient
UK SPOT: “Raindrop Prelude”- Rowlf plays Chopin, eventually needing his raincoat
SKETCH: Red, as Clem Kadiddlehopper, tries to sell unscented perfume to Miss Piggy, queen of the jungle
“It’s called Nothing. Ladies, if you want to impress your man, wear Nothing.”
Muppet News- "Dateline: The Muppet Show. An embarrassing situation occurred today when the Muppet News reporter took his seat at his news desk unaware that the legs of his chair had been partially cut through with a saw, thereby causing the chair to-" CRACK! "Aaah!" CRASH!
BACKSTAGE: Piggy asks Lothar if Kermit will ever come to his senses. Lothar: “Yes, but you still haven’t got a prayer, O porcine princess.” Cue karate chop.
SKETCH: The Great Gonzo sings "My Old Kentucky Home" while being fired out of a giant slingshot
BACKSTAGE: Kermit wonders aloud, "Will I ever find out why I do this every week?" Lothar: "Now you know better than to ask me that, O aggravated amphibian."
CLOSING NUMBER: “Poor Everybody Else”- Red, as Freddie the Freeloader, sings with Fozzie (also dressed as a hobo)
Curtain: Red, Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Robin and Lothar (in pot)
Statler: “I wonder what Lothar would see in our future.”
Lothar (pops up in the box): “I see two ancient old men, sitting angrily in a red theater box watching unraveling madness on a stage.”
S & W: “OH NO!”
Lothar: “I tell it like it is, O sniping seniors.”
Let me know what you think!
More outlines on the way as soon as I can write 'em.
David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
I included a character from a little-seen Muppets and Ed Sullivan special called "The Great Santa Claus Switch": Lothar, the fortune-telling fez-wearing Frackle, who lives in the Magic Pot. He was performed by Jim Henson in a sort of ogre-ish voice, a cross between Rowlf and Link Hogthrob's voices and a wonderfully dry wit. He also had a habit of referring to his boss, self-proclaimed 'king of evil' Cosmo Scam, with alliterative addresses, such as "O master of mirth" and "O misguided magician". For more info and pictures, see the following links:
http://members.tripod.com/themuppetshow2002/id29.htm
http://www.geocities.com/muppetchristmas/images/sullivan-pages3-4.jpg
And now, without further ado, here it is!
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: RED SKELTON
STYLE: MID SECOND SEASON (circa Bernadette Peters/Rudolf Nureyev episodes)
COLD OPENING:
Scooter: “Red Skelton! 30 seconds to curtain, Mr. Skelton!”
Red is wheezing as he does in his “Guzzler’s Gin” bit.
Scooter: “Oh, practicing for your ‘Guzzler’s Gin’ bit, huh?”
Red: “No Scooter, it’s this coffee! No offense.”
Scooter: “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s our mistake. George!”
George the Janitor walks in.
Scooter: “George, there’s been a mix-up.”
George: “Oh.” (grabs the cup, dips brush in it) “The, uh, stairs need a new coat of varnish.”
He leaves. Red is surprised.
Scooter: “Can I get you anything else?”
Red: “Yeah, some water. But make sure it’s water!”
OPENING THEME:
S & W: they’re eating in rhythm
Statler (eating chips): “CHEW, CHEW, CHEW, CHEW-CH-CHEW”
Waldorf (drinking with a straw): “SLURP!”
Gonzo: a Snerf comes out of the trumpet
OPENING NUMBER: “I’m Always Chasing Rainbows”- Robin sings
Statler: “That was a great show! Brilliant! Wonderful!”
Waldorf: “Hey, that was just the opening number.”
Statler: “You had to spoil it for me, didn’t you?”
BACKSTAGE: Scooter comes in with a crate. Inside is a gift from his uncle: The Fortune 500 Fortune-Telling system. Scooter tells Kermit that it’s the latest, hi-tech, state-of-the-art system in fortune telling! It comes complete with the ‘magic pot’, and Lothar, “your friendly fortune-teller”. Lothar is initially less-than-friendly.
Lothar: “Go away, I’m takin’ a nap! That’s the last time I travel coach. Feels like I was sent in a crate.”
Scooter: “You were sent in a crate.”
SKETCH: Red, accompanied by the Muppet swayback horse, plays Deadeye in a cowboy saloon
Statler: "Red Skelton is hilarious!"
Waldorf: "Yes, a real scream!"
Statler: "Phenomenal!"
Waldorf: "How do you suppose he wound up on this show?"
Statler: "They probably grabbed him when no one was looking!"
S & W: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
BACKSTAGE: Lothar is on the phone with Cosmo (Scam, that is)
Lothar: “I’m doin’ fine in the new job... Well, it hasn’t been the same for me either, Cosmo...”
Gonzo asks Lothar whether or not his act will be met with success. Lothar brings him words of wisdom: “Wear protective clothing, preferably body armor.”
Sam has been watching the whole ordeal and remarks that the practice of seeking wisdom from this freak is “childish, disgusting, and immoral. It’s weird… it’s… strange… mysterious…” Then, when he’s sure no one is looking, he asks Lothar if he will ever succeed in making the show cultural and morally upright.
SONG: “I Believe in You”- Catgut sings to a real cat
DRESSING ROOM: Scooter watches as Red does pantomimes describing different types of audience members of “The Muppet Show”
BACKSTAGE: Lothar runs into an old associate: Thog, who can’t remember who Lothar is.
Lothar: “Remember, you and Thig used to work with me?”
Thog: “Who’s Thig?”
Lothar: “Thig, as in Thig & Thog!”
Thog: “Who’s Thog?”
Lothar: “That’s you- oh never mind.”
Vet’s Hospital- Uncle Deadly is the patient
UK SPOT: “Raindrop Prelude”- Rowlf plays Chopin, eventually needing his raincoat
SKETCH: Red, as Clem Kadiddlehopper, tries to sell unscented perfume to Miss Piggy, queen of the jungle
“It’s called Nothing. Ladies, if you want to impress your man, wear Nothing.”
Muppet News- "Dateline: The Muppet Show. An embarrassing situation occurred today when the Muppet News reporter took his seat at his news desk unaware that the legs of his chair had been partially cut through with a saw, thereby causing the chair to-" CRACK! "Aaah!" CRASH!
BACKSTAGE: Piggy asks Lothar if Kermit will ever come to his senses. Lothar: “Yes, but you still haven’t got a prayer, O porcine princess.” Cue karate chop.
SKETCH: The Great Gonzo sings "My Old Kentucky Home" while being fired out of a giant slingshot
BACKSTAGE: Kermit wonders aloud, "Will I ever find out why I do this every week?" Lothar: "Now you know better than to ask me that, O aggravated amphibian."
CLOSING NUMBER: “Poor Everybody Else”- Red, as Freddie the Freeloader, sings with Fozzie (also dressed as a hobo)
Curtain: Red, Kermit, Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, Robin and Lothar (in pot)
Statler: “I wonder what Lothar would see in our future.”
Lothar (pops up in the box): “I see two ancient old men, sitting angrily in a red theater box watching unraveling madness on a stage.”
S & W: “OH NO!”
Lothar: “I tell it like it is, O sniping seniors.”
Let me know what you think!
More outlines on the way as soon as I can write 'em.
David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole
