TMS fanfic: Masks

[Slackbot]

Y'welcome. It didn't really fit into this story, but I thought it was cute enough to use somehow. I'll leave it up to the alert reader to figure out how they got Kermit to okay that act in the first place.

PS: After writing this story, I've truly come to appreciate that Scooter wink icon.

 

[Slackbot]

And now, as threatened, here is...

Masks, Part 18:
The Outtake Reel
by Kim McFarland​

*****

Chapter 2:

[Scooter looks at a long list of names and telephone numbers on a clipboard. Most of them have X marks by them. He calls one that is not marked off yet.]

Scooter: Hello, I'm Scooter Grosse with The Muppet Show. I'd like to speak to...[listens briefly] What?[listens some more] Well, a green jacket, blue jeans, and red sneakers.[listens] Nothing. Why?[listens some more, then, looking a little disturbed, hangs the phone up]

Scooter: [aside] I hate wrong numbers.


Chapter 4:

Scooter: MC Frontalot? Here's the script.

[Frontalot takes the script that Scooter offers.]

Frontalot: Thanks. Did you get the copier fixed?

Scooter: Not quite. There are still a few bugs in it. But don't worry, that script's okay.

[Frontalot begins flipping through the script. Between two badly-copied pages are photocopy images of rats smooshed against the copier glass, making faces, and of course one photocopy of a rat's butt.]


Chapter 11:

[Janken and Scooter are in a cave.]

Janken: [beckoning] C'mon, this way!

[Janken starts running. There is a strange whooshing sound, followed by the sound of bongo drums.]

Scooter: [startled] What was that?

Janken: Sorry. Force of habit.


Chapter 14:

Take 1:

[Fleet Scribbler, camera ready, reaches carefully for Miss Piggy's glove. Without warning her hand turns into a fist and punches him. Hard.]

Kermit: Ah, Piggy, that was supposed to be a little subtler.

Piggy: Oops, sorry. Let's try it again, shall we?

Take 2:

[Fleet Scribbler, camera ready, reaches carefully for Miss Piggy's glove.]

Miss Piggy: HIIII-YAAAAAH!

[Miss Piggy karate chops Fleet halfway across the auditorium.]

Kermit: Still not quite subtle enough.

Miss Piggy: Moi is so sorry. Method acting, you know.

Take 3:
[Fleet Scribbler, looking rather shaky, reaches carefully for Miss Piggy's glove. She jabs him in the solar plexus with stiffened fingers. He collapses.]

Piggy: [exaggerately sweetly] Now, mister Scribbler, you weren't supposed to fall, just stagger back a little. Let's try it again.

[Fleet doesn't move.]


Chapter 16:

[The main Muppets, plus Janken and Skeeter, are all in the boarding house living room.]

Scooter: I've been seeing someone for a while now.

Gonzo: Someone has captured your heart...

Scooter: Yes.

Skeeter: And you never told us?

Scooter: Yes.

Gonzo: And you're always hanging around with Janken...

Scooter: [dramatically] Yes. Yes, say it! He is my... boyfriend!

*****

All characters except Janken are copyright © The Muppets Studio, LLC. All copyrighted properties are used without permission but with much respect and affection. Janken and the overall story are copyright © Kim McFarland (negaduck9@aol.com). Permission is given by the author to copy it for personal use only.

 

[JEANYLASER]

awesome!

 

[Puckrox]

Aaaaaah yay! Splendid outtakes! I especially liked the one with Piggy not being "subtle" enough when attacking Fleet Scribbler!

 

[Slackbot]

Oops, missed this earlier...

I must admit, I wrote the original scene with Fleet in mind. He's such a little jerk, in my mind he deserved to be smacked around a little. And then a little more. And another one for good luck.

BTW, if anyone was wondering what that last outtake was about, I'd just watched Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein.