The Worst CGI Kid Films In Recent Memory

[Drtooth]

That's live action.

But I do remember the biggest complaint about Sinbad was that they could have cast anyone and it would have been the same. I think Dreamworks started to hit that big name voice cast stride when they finally got around to the Shrek films. Antz was fifty fifty, and at least Woody Allen has a recognizable voice, as does Christopher Walken. Unfortunately he wasn't the hammy, hilarious Walken when that was recorded, by quite a comparison to him in Jungle Book as King Louie. Then it was all about big name voice cast that at least most of them had wacky enough voices. There was a much better balance in that one with Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, both SNL alumni. I think that's one of the keys to why I liked Madagascar so much. They had a funny enough ensemble that the film just worked beautifully. Plus, even if they probably weren't in the same booth, Chris Rock and Ben Stiller had amazing chemistry.

Though I'm far more impressed with lesser known celebrities doing voice work, especially when they even get some of the animation staff to do it. Incredibles had a great cast, but Edna and the NSA director being animators gave them more of a pop than any bigger to less well known voice actors. Meanwhile, I really dug the Ratchet and Clank movie, but out of all the actual celebrity voice cast upgrade, Sylvester Stallone was a disappointment. His character barely needed to be in the film. But Paul Giamati was freaking excellent. John Goodman was also pretty good in it, he's good in most thing. But when he was Hound in Transformers Age of Extinction, he hammed it up more than he needed to, making the film all the better with his presence.

And the funny thing is, a lot of those I don't care much for in live action I prefer as voice actors. Sean Hayes is definitely not someone I'd have kind words for, but he was actually good in Igor and Monsters University. I like Kristen Wiig a lot better as Lola Bunny and Lucy in Despicable Me 2. Even Molly Shannon, who I really never cared for, has a funny character in Bob's Burgers, as does Aziz Ansari who I usually don't care much for either.

 

[Drtooth]

Ugh. Okay. Remember when The Lego Movie became such an unexpected hit that as soon as it made it's first weekend box office haul other companies were eager to jump on the bandwagon? Like a Pez movie, a Playmobil movie, and even an Emoji movie (which disgusts me to the core, but the little crap emoji better be a main character).

Well, with Angry Birds not even releasing its weekend take, it looks like there have been plans for UGH! A Fruit Ninja movie.

Jeez. Way to be relevant. Angry Birds can't help it that it took them so long to produce a film that its barely relevant. But Fruit Ninja? Seriously?

 

[Muppy]

Ugh. Okay. Remember when The Lego Movie became such an unexpected hit that as soon as it made it's first weekend box office haul other companies were eager to jump on the bandwagon? Like a Pez movie, a Playmobil movie, and even an Emoji movie (which disgusts me to the core, but the little crap emoji better be a main character).

Well, with Angry Birds not even releasing its weekend take, it looks like there have been plans for UGH! A Fruit Ninja movie.

Jeez. Way to be relevant. Angry Birds can't help it that it took them so long to produce a film that its barely relevant. But Fruit Ninja? Seriously?

Really? A Fruit Ninja movie? That game hasn't been relevant for YEARS, and there's no plot in the game that can be salvaged and turned into a movie. It's a game where you slice fruit for Pete's sake. Totally sounds like a box office success to me

 

[Mynameisdean]

I think this Fruit Ninja Movie isn't going to make it. Sounds too risky, plus the writers supposedly wrote a 2010 adaption of "How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack". Well, sorry, but that Movie doesn't exist, nevermind it coming out in 2010. Sony announced an adaption a while ago, with nothing on it.

 

[Drtooth]

Really? A Fruit Ninja movie? That game hasn't been relevant for YEARS, and there's no plot in the game that can be salvaged and turned into a movie. It's a game where you slice fruit for Pete's sake.

Angry Birds has an inherent story. Fruit Ninja doesn't. I'll save my review of Angry Birds for later. I really enjoyed it a lot more than I should have. But they got the story to work more or less as a movie origin story type film. I have no idea what Fruit Ninja could be or would be. I know that a lot of app based games get comic books, but I don't bother with those. I know Doodle Jump has one, and even that gets a really from me.

But like I said, this is a case of Lego movie spawning everyone and their mother to cash in off it. This case, they didn't even wait until the film reached theaters. They didn't just throw those designs together. They had this planned for a long time, just didn't announce it.

I don't really follow Fruit Ninja past playing the arcade version like twice and buying the fruit snacks at a Dollar Tree. Fruit snacks being a more apropos medium. I don't see this but being some sort of bad ninja parody movie. I mean, if they were to make this in the style of a Joseph Lai/Godfrey Ho 80's Ninja flick, that would actually be something to watch and look forward too, but I doubt they'd make something that esoteric and clever. I mean, if you're going to have a movie about white guys pretending to be ninjas, wouldn't you want to reference something that inane?

Angry Birds at least had a series of animated shorts and a comic book. I'm not sure to what extent anything from the latter carried over, since I don't read them. I could see Fruit Ninja as a series of shorts similar to those cartoons...or at least I could have seen them do that back like 5 years ago or so.

 

[mr3urious]

Great. Now The Asylum is doing this crap.

Such delusions of grandeur from the co-founder, thinking that this will be as appealing and advanced as something from the big boys. But I sadly have to admit, the visuals in this Finding Dory mockbuster look tons better than the visual FX in their live-action stuff.

 

[Drtooth]

I'm more surprised, way more surprised they didn't pull this sooner. It's not like this is the first movie about fish that oh so happens to be released post Finding Nemo, and it's certainly not the last. On the other hand, it at least looks better than anything Brinquendo would have done, or some Russian ripoff or something.

Also of note...

Lionsgate dubs a terrible Chinese knockoff of Kung Fu Panda

Say what you will about the Asylum just being a studio of terrible knockoffs and on purpose camp films, even they're not as terrible as Lionsgate's animation division.

 

[gravy]

There is now going to be an emoji movie. Great.

 

[D'Snowth]

After actually seeing an actual trailer for the new ICE AGE movie, I can see one of the main reasons why this is a bad idea. . . . there's way too many characters to keep track of.

 

[Drtooth]

The only thing that would possibly get me to see this is that they brought back Buck, the only reason the third movie was any good. While that does have my interest piqued, I really don't think I'll bother. If they have some Buck toys somewhere, maybe I'll try and snag some this time. Other than that, I'm really hoping the "I'd rather wait till streaming" streak of any movie not featuring a Marvel character or released by Disney hits this one and sinks the franchise.