The Third Somewhat-Annual Muppet Central Award Ceremony!!

[theprawncracker]

Announcer: Good evening ladies, gentlemen, unisex penguins, and random forms of muffins. Welcome to the third hopefully-soon-to-be-annual Muppet Central Awards! Now from the East coast to the West, the Northern hemisphere to the Southern, they’ve gathered from all around, converging in the Muppet Central banquet hall. Since 1998, Phillip Chapman has been entertaining fans of Jim Henson’s Muppet creations from around the world! And now, they’ve all gathered to pay respect (those who can afford it), lose self-respect, and gain respect themselves! And now, here is your host, Ryan "Prawnie" theprawncracker!

*the curtains draw open as walk to the center of the stage and approach a podium*

Hello, hi there, hola, what’s up, how ya doin, hi-ho, hiya hiya hiya, and all the other forms of saying hello to you all! And like the announcer said, welcome to the show! We’ve got all sorts of awards for all sorts of people!
*cut to balcony*

Statler: Ha! All sorts of people is right! We don’t even know who they are or where they came from!

Waldorf: You old fool! Weren’t you listening to the announcer? Or did you forget your hearing aid again?

Statler: What?

Waldorf: Oy...

*cut back to stage*

Hey, watch it Waldorf, that’s Lisa’s word. Anyway, what would an amazing award show like our own be without an opening number?

Statler: I know what it would be!

Waldorf: Yeah! A good award show!

Both: Do ho ho ho!

Anyway...We couldn’t find any actual performers to play our opening number, but we did find the Muppets, so, we had to settle. Besides, it was part of the deal when we returned them back to the Henson warehouse. So, without further to do, or say, here they are, the Muppets!

*I move off the stage as Fozzie and Rizzo move on*

Fozzie and Rizzo: Another opening, another show
In Philly, Boston or Baltimo’
A chance for stage hands to say:

Beauregard(Muppet): Hello!

Fozzie and Rizzo: Another opening of another show!

*Camilla and three other chickens waddle onto the stage*

Camilla: *clucking to the tune of "Baby Face"* Byock buck byawk

Other Chickens: Buck buck buck buck buck buck buck

Camilla: Byock buck byawk

Other chickens: Buck buck buck buck buck buck buck

Camilla: Byock buck byawk
Brawk buck baw
Byock buck buck buck buck
Bagawk! Ba bawk bawk bawk bawk!

*Sweetums and Thog roll out Rowlf on his piano*

Rowlf: Cottleston cottleston cottleston pie
Why does a chicken?
I don’t know why
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
Cottleston cottleston cottleston pie.

*Cookie Monster and all of the Sesame Street monsters head on stage*

Cookie Monster: Pie? Me no want pie! Me want cookies!
C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me
C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me
C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me

Cookie and the Monsters: Oh, cookie cookie cookie starts with C!

*The Fraggles appear out of a hole in the back wall*

Fraggles: We are the children of tomorrow
Each one is different and the same
Help us to live here with our other
Our brother, one in heart, one in hope, one in vain.

*Gonzo is fired out on stage and lands on his feet*

Gonzo: Oh, there’s not a word yet,
For old friends who’ve just met
Part heaven, part space
Or have I found my place?
You can just visit
But I plan to stay
I’m going to go back there someday.

*Ernie, Bert, Oscar and Grover come on stage*

Ernie: La de da de dum,
La de da de dum
What’s the name of that song?

Bert: La de da de dum
La de da de dum
What’s the name of that song?

Grover: It goes la de da de dum
La de da de dum
Something, something birds.

Oscar: La de da de dum,
La de da de,
NOW I CAN’T REMEMBER THE WORDS!!

*Kermit and Miss Piggy lead the rest of the Muppets on stage all of them in tuxedos, including the penguins, who really don’t need them but felt it right to blend in*

Kermit: Okay, time for the big finale! Is everybody ready?

Everybody: Yeah!

Kermit: One, two, three, four, can I have a little more?
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, I love you!

Miss Piggy: Oh Kermie,
A, B, C, D, can I bring my friend to tea?
F, G, H, I, J, Kerm, I love you!

Fozzie: Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum!
Sail the ship!

Animal: Bum bum bum!
Chop the tree!

Gonzo: Bum bum bum!
Skip the rope!

Rizzo: Bum bum bum!
Look at me!

Kermit: Everybody ready? Okay!
All together now!

Muppets: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Sesame Street: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Fraggles: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Audience: All together now!

Kermit: Black, white, green, red,

Robin: Do I have to go to bed?

Kermit: Pink, brown, yellow orange and blue,
I love you!

Robin:Aw, Uncle Kermit.

Big Bird: A, B, C, D,
Can I bring my friend to tea?

Grover: E, F, G, H, I, J,
I love you!

Kermit: All together now!

Muppets: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Sesame Street: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Fraggles: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Audience: All together now!

Gobo: Bum bum bum bum bum bum
Sail the ship!

Red: Bum bum bum!
Chop the tree!

Boober: Bum bum bum!
Skip the rope!

Pepe: Bum bum bum,
Look at me!

Kermit: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Sesame Street: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Muppets: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Fraggles: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

Audience: All together now!

Kermit: All together now!

All: All together now!!

Kermit: Thank you thank you! And now, I’m supposed to present the first award. Um, it’s called, "Animal on Caffeine." *gulps* That’s a scary concept.

Animal: Coffee! Coffee! Ha ha ha!

Kermit: Sheesh, anyway, the award for the most prominent poster goes to Beauregard! Yaaaaay!!

Beauregard(Muppet): Oh gee, I never knew I was so loved. Or that my posters were enjoyed so much.

Kermit: *scrunches up face* Good grief...Here’s your award Beauregard...

 

[BEAR]

Bry: (in audience applauding) Yay!! What a great opening number!

 

[D'Snowth]

Kimp the Shrimp killed all the fun of this award show.

 

[redBoobergurl]

Hey Bryan! Can Kim and I sit with you? That was a great opening number!

 

[Leyla]

<Leyla is surrounded by her dorm roomies and making a lot of noise. On her right is Robot Kermit, still deactivated and on her left are Wanda, Hilda and Farmer Jim, who is pulling uncomfortably at his bow tie.>

Leyla: Hooray!!! Way to go Beau! And wasn't that a nice presentation? And the muppets all look so good! <to Jimmy> Stop fidgeting, will ya!

Jimmy: I hate this tie! Can I please...

Hilda: Oh, don't be such a cry baby. Now let's all cheer for Beau!

Leyla: Well said!

All: Great job, Beau! YAY!!!

 

[Kimp the Shrimp]

Kimp the Shrimp killed all the fun of this award show.

Thog: should i diispose of him boss

KTS: nah his bark is worse then his bite

Ernie: just give me one shot boss

KTS: all in good time, i have something great planned for after the shw at the Awards party
it will be a great "outing"

 

[BEAR]

Hi, Beth. Hey, Kim. Of course you can sit here. You can sit right here next to me. This was supposed to be Big Bird's seat, but the people behind us were complaining that they couldn't see. So, he took Telly and went to sit towards the back.

 

[BEAR]

Kimp the Shrimp killed all the fun of this award show.

Hey, Snowthy. Come on! Let's just have a good awards show. He hasn't done anything here yet, so let's just try to have fun. Okay! We don't want to start any fights in this thread. Have a muffin! (tosses a fresh muffin to Snowth)

 

[Kimp the Shrimp]

Bear don't worry about me i'm just chillin here no problems

Gives Bear a Man Hug



Hugs out grover and Cookie Monster the Gang is starting to get together

 

[D'Snowth]

So Beauregard's the only one who won an award?