The Shadow of the Moon at Night

[The Count]

What do we have to do to get an update? *Aims muffin cannon at Caitlyn.

 

[AnimatedC9000]

Chapter 3

Outside, a lone figure wore his slick black shades, even though it was night, and adjusted his black leather suit. He stared under a lit streetlamp at the door to the gymnasium and smirked. After throwing some short jabs in the air, the man pulled out his (fake) sword and grinned at his reflection, his gold tooth shining under the light. Sheathing the blade, he strolled to the double doors and swung them open.

All the lights in the gym were lowered except for a few white strobe lights. Two penguins were performing random Japanese karaoke up on the stage. The newcomer made his way through the crowd of partygoers, trying to scope out the rest of his friends.

"Why, hello there, handsome," Spamela flirtatiously greeted the man. "Do you like to boogie?"

Flashing her one of his golden smiles, the man in black responded to her question. "As a mattah o’ fact, I do enjoy ta parteh. How about you, mah porcine beauty? Do you--" He performed a few hip, freestyle dance moves before continuing. "--like ta boogeh?"

The blonde pig responded by fanning herself and nearly fainting. The man, acting fast, caught her with an outstretched arm before she dropped to the floor. "You jus’ enjoy the parteh now, a’ight, baby?" he told her after helping her stand up.

"Oh, I will now," Spamela responded cheerfully before she started to dance away into the crowd.

With a chuckle, the figure grooved his way through the majority of the people before spotting one of his bandmates out of the corner of his eye. The bandmate in question turned his head just in the nick of time to see the black-clad man notice him. "Hey, Dr. Teeth!" Floyd greeted as the bandleader made his way over to him. "I’m diggin’ that costume of yours."

"Thank ya, Mr. Nostalgia Critic," Dr. Teeth answered. "I must say dat this parteh is definitely startin’ to go strong."

In another area of the gym floor, Bean was finishing up munching on a cookie when he noticed something dripping onto his hand. Curiously, he licked the two drops that had fallen on his fur. "It tastes sweet," the rabbit concluded to himself. "But what is it doing on my hand?"

"Maybe you’re turnin’ into a chocolate bunny!" Rizzo suggested. "Lemme check…" The rat then opened his small mouth to bite down.

"No!" the small, cute rabbit shrieked. "Get away from me!" With that, the rabbit was chased by the rat with the scythe around the room.

Nearby, Digit was dancing to the music with Vicki. After the two had twirled around the dance floor for a couple of minutes, the cyborg paused to listen to the music for a while. He threw his head back and his arms upward, feeling in tune with the harmonics of the song.

At that very moment, Leon, who was skulking around Kermit in the darkness of the gym, screeched like the velociraptor that he was dressed up as and squirted a red, fake liquid-like substance from his teeth.

Without the sound of thunder or the flashes of lightening, it suddenly started to pour down inside of the building at the exact same second. The rain, however, wasn’t made of water; rather, it was a dark, syrupy substance that fell onto the partygoers in little showers from the sprinklers above.

"Leon!" the frog yelled at his lizard "cousin" angrily. "How many times do I have to tell you? It is not appropriate to have ten gallons of blood at a party! Especially when it ends up splattered all over the guests!"

"Dis-gusting!" an eagle dressed up as the USA’s first president agreed, strongly appalled by the recent events. "This is a fine example of the evils of gore and violence!"

The three of them turned their heads at a munching noise. It turned out to be Gonzo munching on chips. "Mmm, corn chips and chocolate! My favorite!" the weirdo rejoiced before reaching for a few more chips, using them to scoop up chocolate from the puddles on the floor and eating it. "Hmm… needs something a little more spicy, though. Maybe fire ants or red hot chili peppers…"

"Uncle Kermit," the voice of Robin piped up from underneath a coat of chocolate, "who would do such a thing like this?"

The answer to the question was put on hold, for at that time, another song started to play. A spotlight shown down onto the stage, hitting a new figure, who was clad in a dark pink dress with a bow tied to the back. "The French were bred to die for love," the figure sang, her face concealed by a black fan. "They delight in fighting duels. But moi prefers a man who lives and gives expensive jewels."

Before the girl even threw her fan off the stage, Kermit ducked and hid among the crowd. For who else should be performing up there but the porcine beauty that had chased after his affection for so many years: the fabulously talented Miss Piggy.

"A kiss on the hand may be quite continental," she sang, "but diamonds are a girl's best friend."

"Si, si," Pepe nodded emphatically behind the pig, drooling at the thought of the shiny gems. "They are mine too, hokay?"

Shoving the prawn away, Piggy resumed her song. "A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat, or help you at the automat. Men grow cold as girls grow old and we all lose our charms in the end."

"Some faster than others!" Floyd shouted from his place near the sidelines.

An ice-cold glare was shot in the bass player’s direction before the song was picked back up. "But square-cut or pear-shaped, these rocks don't lose their shape. Diamonds are a girl's best friend!"

Suddenly, penguins gathered around the singing pig and started to show off their displays of the sung-about gem. Gonzo’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets as he observed this. "How did we even afford all this?" he asked his best friend and roommate, Rizzo.

"It was easy enough," the rat explained. "We jus' glued some pieces of salt together an’ sprinkled some glitter on ‘em…"

More penguins appeared in the crowd behind the female Muppets and started to usher them to the stage in small groups. Most of the few females were confused about this matter. Some, however, wanted to get away from them as fast as possible.

"Hey, hey, watch the hands, buddy!" Zoot exclaimed to his group of penguins as he was taken up to the stage with the other girls.

"Gather around, girls! Moi has something important to tell vous," Miss Piggy told the gathering females (plus Zoot) before singing again. "There may come a time when a lass needs a lawyer, but diamonds are a girl's best friend. There may come a time when a hard-boiled employer thinks you're awful nice, but get that ice or else no dice."

"I have a hard time believing that crass materialism strengthens romantic relationships," Vicki commentated to no one in particular.

"Rully," Janice, who was next to her, agreed.

The blonde diva growled at the two girls before continuing to sing. "He's your guy when stocks are high, but beware when they start to descend. It's then that those louses--"

"That’s when men go back to Miss Mouses!" Kermit interjected with a frown.


"Diamonds are a girl's best friend!" The other girls (plus Zoot) quickly ran off the stage so that Piggy could finish her number (and to escape the penguins). "I don't mean rhinestones…"

"Good thing she can't really tell the difference," Rowlf whispered to Fozzie and a nodding Kermit.

"But diamonds are a girl's best friend!" the diva finished with a grand flourish. Applause rang out through the gymnasium. After a bow, she waved to her captive audience. "Kissy kissy! Thank you, oh, thank you all!"

From the side of the stage, concealed by darkness, a purple hand twitched on a thin white rope. The rope was strung all the way up to a shiny bucket filled with chocolate syrup that was perched on top of a ledge. The ledge in question was situated right above the bowing Miss Piggy.

With one fatal tug, the bucket tipped over and its contents were spilled all over the blonde.

Everyone gasped in unison as they saw the drenched diva up on the stage. After a long pause, everyone started to whisper amongst themselves.

While everyone was focused on each other, the character next to them, or the chocolate, Kermit looked at Piggy. She stood there, her jaw agape, her hair dripping in chocolate syrup. Her voice started groan. It began as a low growl and then over a few minutes heightened in pitch to an ear-piercing screech. She clenched her fists and then began to look around. No one was foolish enough to laugh at Piggy when she was in this state.

Except for one.

Out of the shadows emerged the figure that the purple hand belonged to. As with her hand, her whole skin was light purple in color. She wore a tattered robe with a hood, and she only had one prominent tooth in her mouth. In her hand, she held a staff with a crystal ball attached to the handle. The laugh that came from her throat was a cackling one, very similar to that of a witch’s.

Two blue eyes narrowed as they locked onto the woman. "That’s it!" Miss Piggy yelled, preparing to charge at the witch. "HI-" She took a few quick steps forward and slipped onto a large puddle of chocolate syrup that had formed on the floor. "AAAAAAAHHH!" The porcine diva slid across the stage, past her target, and fell with an unceremonious crash off the stage.

"Taminella Grinderfall?" Robin gasped in disbelief, quickly ducking behind Sweetums. "What’s she doing here?"

"Taminella who?" asked Sweetums, twisting around to look down at the tiny young frog.

"The evil witch who kept you as her slave in the Frog Prince," informed Robin. "Remember?"

"So that’s where I recognized her from," Digit commented after searching his memory and overhearing the shaggy brown monster’s conversation with the little amphibian.

With her two eyes, Taminella spotted both Robin and Sweetums in the crowd. "Hoo-ha, boy, that sure takes me back!" she recalled fondly. "Ah, those were the good ol’ days… back when I was still beautiful and had a greater deal of my power."

"Oh brother," Clifford mumbled, rolling his eyes from behind his helmet.

"Excuse me, miss," Scooter interrupted the witch's monologue, "but I don't see any mention of a Taminella Grinderfall on the invite list."

"Is that so?" the old hag asked. "Why, I could've sworn that my invitation was misplaced in the mail or--"

"It's because you weren't invited!" exclaimed the voice of Waldo.

"Not invit--?" Taminella protested, her eyes bugging out slightly. She scratched her head and chuckled, faking embarrassment. "Well, ain't that a -- uh, an awkward situation? Huh… well, in that case, I’ll just leave."

"So, you're just passing through?" Francine asked, curious as to what was going on. "You're not gonna sue or anything?"

"Ain't a problem at all, hon," the witch replied with a scoff. "I, too, know a little thing about entertaining, if you'll permit me," she added, bowing to Kermit.

"… I’m listening," the frog answered, letting the hag proceed.

"Listen well ... ALL of you!" Taminella bellowed, banging her staff on the stage floor. "You all think you're the cat's pajamas, beloved by all who buy your DVD's ... BUT ... before the sun rises in the mornin', I'll show ya just who you REALLY are inside!" A long cackle escaped from her throat.

"I think not, you vile demon!" a new voice spoke up in defiance.

Everyone turned their heads to see a brown-haired, golden-skinned conductor, making his way through the crowd towards the stage.

"Nigel?" Gonzo gasped, eyes widening.

"Oh man, not him," Floyd mumbled, remembering the Muppet Show days.

"When’d he get here?" Lindbergh questioned to no one in particular.

"Heck if I know," Waldo replied. "I don’t even know who this guy is."

"Well, ain’t that the bee’s knees?" the hag spat, glaring as Nigel the Conductor made his way up onto the stage. "The Muppets have resorted to using the lowest of the low for defense."

"Hey!" Pepe interjected, staring up at the sorceress. "I resent the small jokes, hokay."

"A little miffed, are we?" Taminella questioned the shrimp before she cackled.

"Little's the word for it, lady!" Floyd called from his place before a bout of laughter escaped from his throat.

"Unbelievable, hokay…" The king prawn muttered as he started to walk away from the stage.

"Enough!" Nigel exclaimed, pulling out what appeared to be a grenade. "Be gone, foul wench!"

With a fatal toss, he lobbed the grenade at the purple-skinned hag. It exploded at her feet and smoke filled the area. When the smokescreen had settled enough so that everyone could see, she had vanished.

"Wow, Nigel, you vanquished her!" Fozzie cried out in congratulations for the conductor.

"Great job, Nigel!" Scooter added. A crowd started to form around the stage, all of the members saying thanks to him for getting rid of Taminella.

"That was a wonderful job, Nigel! Where did you get that grenade?" Gonzo asked to the orchestra conductor.

"It’s an anti-witch grenade," Nigel sheepishly explained to the others. "I got it from Muppet Labs."

The melon-headed scientist stroked his chin as he thought to himself. "Strange, I don’t remember making such a device," Bunsen stated before turning to his assistant. "You don’t happen to remember anything about this, do you Beaker?"

The assistant’s reply was a shrug. He knew nothing about the special grenade, and it was doubtful that anyone other than Nigel knew.

Nigel hopped down the stage, hoping to melt back into the background. However, a loud noise took him by surprise: the crowd was applauding and murmuring good tidings toward him. He gasped and looked around nervously. Soon he stared at the floor. He wasn't used to all the attention.

Kermit ran over to him and smiled. "That was amazing!" he gushed. "I didn't know you had it in you!" Kermit patted the shy conductor on the back, his voice calming, "You're a wonderful part of our team, Nigel. I'm really glad you decided to make it to the party."

Nigel blushed and avoided the frog's gaze. He truly hadn't expected this reaction, had he? What was the point of getting rid of the witch if he wasn't supposed to be praised for it? Still, all he wanted to do was escape the spotlight. It made him incredibly uncomfortable. "Th-thanks, Kermit," he muttered as he strode through the crowd.

Fozzie wandered over to Kermit and stared in the direction where the conductor had left. "What's with him?"

Kermit shrugged and smiled. "You know Nigel ... he's much too modest to accept all that attention." With that, the dancing continued as though the witch's threats were just another part of the celebration.

Just outside the gymnasium, the evil, not-so-banished witch smirked her evil smirk, her fang glistening in the moonlight. She pulled out a notepad and a pen and marked off one line. "Okay," she announced cheerfully in her gravelly voice, "on to the next step. Now, lemme see ...." She searched the pockets within her robe. "I gotta do something to outdo Maleficient. I can be just as evil as her. I don't know why she gets all of the attention at the witch's convention. Just put a kid to sleep and suddenly everyone just worships the ground you walk on!" she exclaimed bitterly. She leafed through a bunch of sticky notes and nodded, raising her staff, its crystal sphere glowing bright green, as black clouds started to swirl overhead.

Taminella inhaled and began to belt out her creepy spell: "Darkness falls across the land/The midnight hour is close at hand!" She pointed her staff at the gym below. "Creatures crawl in search of blood/To terrorize y'all's neighborhood -- wait," she stopped looking at her notes. "That doesn't sound right." She cleared her throat and started over. "Darkness falls across the land/The midnight hour is close at hand! The Muppets' hearts, filled with good/What's with them? Never understood!"

She inhaled again. "And whosover shall be found/with costume shall henceforth be bound/Within the form of whom was meant/When they bought them with their last cent!" She waved her wand.

"The souls of those whom was meant/Shall be a Muppet, with or without consent/For soon they'll know true torment!"

Taminella cackled loudly as thunder and lightning tore through the night sky around her. She laughed and laughed, until she started to gag.

A small yellow hand reached up and handed her a losenge. Taminella took it and popped it into her mouth and grinned.

Nigel nodded back, smiling, turning only to stare at the gym as wisps of multicolored swirls of mist started to enter the gym from the clouds above. He had to smirk. And quickly did that smirking lead to evil laughter. Taminella, now able to laugh again, roared with laughter as they watched the Muppets shriek with fear through the windows of the gym.

 

[RedPiggy]

That was so full of Muppety goodness I don't even know where to begin!

 

[The Count]

O-O! So the Muppets will turn into the being their costumes are meant to be modeled on? How very Buffy-esque. Guess Ethan Rayne set up shop once again.
*Bows down at Caitlyn's feet in truest awesomeishness. *Sets Vicki free so she can rejoin her cyborg boyfriend.

Please don't make me resort to kidnapping your roomies to coax an update out of what is so great a fanfic.
*Leaves Oreos and pie for Cait.

 

[The Count]

*Puppy dog eyes. Can me have more of this awesomenessest fic too? Please?

 

[The Count]

*Adds full moon choc chip muffins. Post please?

 

[Lil0Vampy]

This is so awesome! OwO moooore?

 

[The Count]

Agreed. We need more of this aweshomeness posted!
Maybe I should send some of my own personal demons to see if they help with getting this story updated.
He has demons? Cool!

 

[The Count]

You're not the only one who'd love an update to the awesomeness that is this fic...
We want fic! Please?

 

[Lil0Vampy]

o.o Heeeellllooooooo?

*pokepoke* Updates for this wonderful fic, lovie? OwO