The RHLC!

[CensoredAlso]

Aw Sara, believe me, I know exactly how you feel. And your mom is right, unfortuntely love is not always enough in a relationship. You also have to be able to listen and communicate, otherwise it won't work. And you're very right, if you're going to be in a relationship, you need to have a job, no questions about it.

It will hurt for awhile, but remember there are always more fish in the sea, hehe. I hope your current relationship works out better. And just as importantly, take care of yourself and your financial needs.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

Ouch - sorry to hear that the relationship went west, Sara. But good luck to you with the new job and with the new guy.

 

[CensoredAlso]

Yes, I'm going to give up that job to move up to Connecticut. I don't even think Junior Gorg would give up something that awesome and fulfilling. He'd see he'd have to stay with it to get it.

Lol, yup I think even Junior would have to agree.

 

[Ilikemuppets]

"Love is great and all, but love doesn't heat the house or pay the bills."

Well I beg to differ. I think it's about thoughtfulness. It's all how you look at it. Sure you can heat the house and pay the bills for yourself which its important. But you could also look at doing those things as a sigh of love. You do those things for somebody because you love and care about then and you want them to feel safe and happy and comfortable. You could also help somebody out in doing those things because you really love then. Love is an expression of giving of ones self to another person, it's the things you do for others because you really care about them. And if you care about someone then you would listen and communicate with them and put their needs above your own. I think when a test of true love came for the last guy you were with, it seems as if he was not showing any sigh of love or true concern to the relationship. You also have to remember that it takes to people to be in love and to have, hold and keep a relationship, and if one person is not helping it to work out then it most likely won’t. I mean if the two of you really loved each other and wanted to make it work then you would do anything in the whole world to do so and you really could. But it's as much about sacrifice as much as much as it is about compromise and meeting the other person’s needs. It's defiantly not about selfishness and just what works for you. And hey, it was meant to be, it will and it wasn't then it wasn't. Not blaming either one of you and again I’m sorry things just didn't work out and hope things work better this time.

Don't claim to know everything because I'm still learning.

 

[CensoredAlso]

Oh I agree, if you love the person, you will do your best to provide for them and help make their lives better. It's just that compromise and sacrifice and communication are not easy for anyone, even with the best of intentions. There's a lot of give and take, and outside problems, which can make life very difficult for couples. And if you're not able to work things out, even if you love the person, there's a problem. It also depends a lot on your maturity level. You may geuniely love and care about someone, but that doesn't mean you're ready or able to settle down and be responsible. If that's the case, then it's not going to work. All I'm saying is, it's hard to be in a relationship. Not impossible though, and if you can find someone to make it work, that's fantastic.

Not that this is an example of romantic love, hehe, but the Beatles are a good example of a genuine loving partnership that went sour. They never stopped caring about each other; it was very painful for them when they started to break up (and even after). But they were all growing up (well in most cases hehe) and were moving in different directions and just couldn't make it work anymore. Unfortunately it wasn't all amicable, and they did unduly hurt each other in the process. Sometimes you do hurt the ones you love the most.

 

[Ilikemuppets]

I agree with you. It's just that we live in this "me" society instead of putting someone else before ourselves. And being considerate of someone else needs it what true love is all about to me And I think that with things like outside problems and things you should really be their for and to support the other person through what they might be going through for as far as they let you in about it. I'm really a believer that true love and over come any problems or difficulty a couple might be having. I think it you love someone they it shouldn't feel like it a chore or responsibility. Love is about feelings as much as much as it is about commitment and actions. I think that it you’re immature and not ready to settle down with, and then it's really not showing the other person that you do love and care about them. Because you do have to show and let them know that you do. It’s not enough to just feel it and keep it to yourself. To me it shouldn't have to feel hard if that what you really want. And hay, if it is hard, then that’s why you have each other for… to do what you can to help make it easier for the other person But I guess it might be harder for some then others. You're right it's not impossible and it can be done, but sometimes you both have to make it work (not force it).

I know what you mean and I’t wouldn’t compare being in a band with being in a marriage or loving relationship either, LOL! But things like that do happen to bands all the time. Eventually do grow up and go your own ways and have your own minds and have your own lives. But I have to say that sometimes people tell on themselves, and I'm guilty of doing this all the time because sometimes I'll try to give out helpful advice and the person it really helps out ends up being myself. It's like you really should be really taking your own advice sometimes. Often times it just hit you about what you’re doing wrong in your own live and relationships and you relies what you need to be doing instead. It's just funny how life works out sometimes.

I'm with you about hurting the ones you love the most. Sometimes it can hurt the most when it comes from the people who you love the most.

 

[CensoredAlso]

Actually many people, including the members themselves occasionally, compared the Beatles to a marriage. They were together all the time, touring or working in the studio. It could be argued they were closer to each other than they were with their own wives. They went through the unique experience of Beatlemania together, and no one else could understand what it meant.

One documentary pointed out that it seemed to take the Beatles breaking up for them to have lasting relationships with the women in their lives Except for Paul, they all got divorced and then remarried during or soon after the break up, and then managed to stay married (unusual in the music business heh). And of course Paul met and married Linda during the break up and had a very long lasting and loving marriage.

Sort of off topic, but I do think we have a problem in our society. When we are children, we are taught to mainly play with kids of the same gender. Boys especially have a problem hanging out with girls, lol. And we naturally feel comfortable with people who are more like us in the first place. Then we get older and we're suddenly expected to form lasting, loving partnerships with the opposite gender. Personally, I'm not surprised so many relationships don't work out.

On the other hand, it was only relatively recently that marriage became about love, as opposed to securing property and producing heirs. lol

 

[Ilikemuppets]

Well you could call a number of thing marriages that end up breaking up relationships. it could be your job or a habit or a hobby. And people refer to it as being married to me. It's like the Old Pee-Wee gag where someone loves something so much that he says "Why don't you marry it them? huh-huh!

I guess it just where your priorities are in life (plus being contractually obligated in some cases) Or somtimes it just that a job or something your doing can be very demanding somtimes, you know That can be understandable. Personally I would not take a band mate over my wife no matter how close I was to that person. (if I were in a band that is) But the same can be said for co-workers and friends and things like that. It can leave the other person in a relationship feeling like maybe you love or care more about that person the you do them. You have to show that other person that you love them because It's just not enough to be in love with the other person. Right, I'm sure one of the many reason they split was because their relationship with their wives were more important to them then still being in the band.

 

[CensoredAlso]

Right, I'm sure one of the many reason they split was because their relationship with their wives were more important to them then still being in the band.

Well not to get too gossipy, hehe, but that's not exactly what I meant (but I can see how it looked that way). Not that their wives weren't important, but I think the main reasons they broke up was because they needed to do their own thing careerwise, make the music they wanted without being held back.

I just meant that once they didn't have the band anymore, they were more able (and in fact eager) to form stronger relationships with their wives. But it didn't happen with their first wives, but with their seconds. I personally think they just got married too young the first time around and weren't ready for it.

I agree though, if you're going to be married, it needs to be the most important thing in your life. Otherwise, you'll just end up hurting the people around you.

 

[Ilikemuppets]

Well what I meant was that their relationships with their wives (ever it they were their second set of wives) was more important to them in that time and that part of their lives. As far as doing their own things and being held back I guess it all just how you look at life. But everybody is ready at their own time and it's not the same for everyone.