Peter: Boy, this is worse than the time that shady salesman tried to sell me an invisible canary.
(Cut to Peter standing at brick wall, a la Ernie from "Sesame Street," haggling with Lefty the Salesman.)
Peter: But I wanted a green canary!
Lefty (holding nothing in his hand): Dis is a green canary!
Peter: I'm sorry, buddy, but I know my canaries, and that one is definitely not green. It's more of a lime.
Lefty: Look pal, dis is a green canary! Take it or leave it. It'll cost ya just a nickel.
Peter: A nickel ? !
Lefty: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
Peter: Okay, Mr. Salesman, ya talked me into it. Here ya go...(hands Lefty a nickel; Lefty "hands" Peter the "bird," which "perches" on his finger; to bird) You're a nice little birdie, aren't ya? Aren't ya? I think I'll call you Mr. Tweet. (As Peter starts to exit, he suddenly realizes there's nothing on his finger) Hey, wait a minute! (Peter crosses back to Lefty)
Lefty: Sorry, bud, no refunds.
(Peter punches Lefty; Lefty goes down. Peter retrieves his nickel; he starts to exit, then returns; he stands for a moment, shifty-eyed; he picks up "bird" and "perches" it on his finger)
Peter: The nerve of that guy. I'm no orthodontist (obviously mispronouncing the name of bird experts), but I know you're a parakeet painted to look like a canary. Come on, Mr. Tweet, let's go home. I'll teach ya how to ask for a cracker...