Peter:  Boy, this is worse than the time that shady salesman tried to sell me an invisible canary.
 
(Cut to Peter standing at brick wall, a la Ernie from "Sesame Street," haggling with Lefty the Salesman.)
 
Peter:  But I wanted a green canary!
 
Lefty (holding nothing in his hand):  Dis is a green canary!
 
Peter:  I'm sorry, buddy, but I know my canaries, and that one is definitely not green.  It's more of a lime.
 
Lefty:  Look pal, dis is a green canary!  Take it or leave it.  It'll cost ya just a nickel.
 
Peter:  A nickel ? !
 
Lefty:  SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
 
Peter:  Okay, Mr. Salesman, ya talked me into it.  Here ya go...(hands Lefty a nickel; Lefty "hands" Peter the "bird," which "perches" on his finger; to bird)  You're a nice little birdie, aren't ya?  Aren't ya?  I think I'll call you Mr. Tweet.  (As Peter starts to exit, he suddenly realizes there's nothing on his finger)  Hey, wait a minute!  (Peter crosses back to Lefty)
 
Lefty:  Sorry, bud, no refunds.
 
(Peter punches Lefty; Lefty goes down.  Peter retrieves his nickel; he starts to exit, then returns; he stands for a moment, shifty-eyed; he picks up "bird" and "perches" it on his finger)
 
Peter:  The nerve of that guy.  I'm no orthodontist (obviously mispronouncing the name of bird experts), but I know you're a parakeet painted to look like a canary.  Come on, Mr. Tweet, let's go home.  I'll teach ya how to ask for a cracker...