The New New Quote Thread

[Misskermie]

"GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA!"

-Jacksepticeye, literally every episode of his play-through of "Papers Please"

 

[D'Snowth]

Ex-Teletubby performer Dave Thompson on a podcast talking about the rabbits:

DAVE THOMPSON: They were Belgian eating rabbits.
HOST: They eat Belgians?!

 

[cjd874]

(Link has been turned into a human chocolate fountain, complete with a stream of chocolate from his crotch area)
Link: WOOOOO! Look at me, dad! I made it!
Rhett: I hate to ask you to do this, but can you pee into my mouth?
Link: TAKE A KNEE, SON!
(Rhett kneels and the stream of chocolate hits his face and shirt, as everyone laughs uncontrollably)
Link: Nothing wrong with this! Welcome to the Internet, fam! (hysterical laughter) I WIN THE INTERNET TODAY, AND AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT TWO MINUTES!!!

---Good Mythical Morning, Season 13 Episode 110

 

[LittleJerry92]

(From my original work a Group of Five)

Monocle-wearing Jake: Ugh..... those filthy American’s listening to their TRASH 80’s music, while us britt’s sit by and listen to Ringo Starr and Michael Angelis narrating all the Thomas the Tank Engine stories!

 

[antsamthompson9]

KrazyJoe: How do you handle something like the Steve Whitmire situation especially since you know these guys personally? Is that a tricky thing to maneuver for you?
Joe Hennes: Yeah, incredibly. It's hard because, technically we are members of the press. And we need to be able to report on things with no emotion, no attachment, with no bias whatsoever. And it's tough because, Steve in particular was our first big interview. He was always incredibly kind to us and did a lot of fun stuff with us over the years. So that was a particularly tough one. We also have a policy on ToughPigs where we don't talk about the puppeteers' personal lives at all. It was the same thing when the Kevin Clash news hit, and we reported very early on that we will not be reporting on this issue. The only news story you'll find on ToughPigs about that was that Kevin had resigned and decided to leave the role of Elmo. We had no interest in following the drama of the story, it didn't feel like it was important to Muppet fandom, and it felt a little icky to be talking about puppeteers' personal lives, or even their professional lives when it comes to things like firing. That's a really tough thing to navigate. Especially since the Muppet performers are the nicest people in the world, and the last thing we wanna do, just because they're the nicest people, is to report on anything that makes them look bad. That doesn't help us, that doesn't help them, and it really doesn't help Muppet fandom. Also the Muppet performers are like the anti-Kardashians, all we know about the Kardashians are their personal lives. And for the life of me, I do not understand why people subscribe to US Weekly. Like, that blows my mind, I don't understand it.

 

[CBPuppets]

KERMIT: Sam, You about ready?

SAM EAGLE: Yes, it's a glorious three hour finale--

KERMIT: You got a minute and a half!

--Muppet Vision 3D--

 

[Flaky Pudding]

"When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time"
-Maya Angelou

Something that happened to my mom recently reminded me of how true this quote is. A new potential employing was being hired at the 911 Dispatch Center she works at and the guy kept repeatedly warning his possible future co-workers,
"I'm an @$$hole".

Turns out, he wasn't lying or even exaggerating at all because he ended up not getting hired due to saying some pretty hurtful, brutal things about a local person he didn't like (some of them were even personal attacks on the man's appearance and other awful stuff like that).

Maya Angelou was totally right on the money when she said that quote above.

 

[fuzzygobo]

Here's the difference between booze and pot.

Five drunk guys start a fight.
Five stoned guys start a band!
8)

 

[Pig'sSaysAdios]

"I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!"
-Kermit the Frog

 

[Old Thunder]

And the sea rolled on as it did for thousands of years...
Herman Melville