The New New Quote Thread

[cjd874]

Statler: You know what's wrong with this theater? It's the seats!
Waldorf: What's wrong with them?
Statler: They're facing the stage! Hohohohohohoho!!!

 

[ConsummateVs]

Yellow Pearl: Have a nice extraction, Pink Lasagna.

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

Squidward: "Patrick, just how stupid ARE you?"

Patrick: "It varies"

 

[ConsummateVs]

Baloney:
I is for imagine, M is for me, A is for the letter A, G is for G.
I is for imagine, N is for nice, E is for egad! I said 'imagine' twice!

 

[antsamthompson9]

JD Hansel: A big part of what makes television not terrible right now, which to me is refreshing because I grew up in a time period when TV was by and large terrible, what makes it work is there are these companies like Netflix and Amazon Prime that aren't getting in the way of creators creating good things. When you look at a lot of shows that have been made by talented people but failed in the past, like there's an episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee in which John Mulaney talks about his failed sitcom, and how the problem there was just too many suits in the room. Too many people who were not comedy writers coming in and telling the comedy writers what to do. There's this common theme of shows writers have worked on that have sucked because, they've complained that as soon as they were done writing, a conga line of 40 executives come into the room delivering their studio notes saying "This is what you need to do instead of being funny." And then you get a show that's not very enjoyable. So creative freedom is a big draw to Amazon and Netflix for good creators who have cool ideas, and I like that. I think that this new creativity and this openness to try new things is a very good thing that is making television watchable right now.
Steve Swanson: Completely agree.
JD: I actually like watching TV now.

 

[cjd874]

(From Muppet Guys Talking, two of my favorite moments)

Bill Barretta: One of my favorites is the guy that hangs out with Grover in those bits---
Frank Oz: Oh yeah! Fat Blue!
Jerry Nelson: Yeah...Mr. Johnson as we sometimes called him.
Frank: How did you get Fat Blue?
Jerry: Oh, that was me! (laughter from the others) Getting ****** off at you for taking so long! (Frank laughs) "Oh, I'm sorry, oh let's do it again, take 24..." (everyone starts laughing as Jerry does Fat Blue) "JUST GET ME THE **** HAMBURGER!"

Dave Goelz: Do your camel. Do the camel.
Fran Brill: What's the camel?
Dave: From acting class. Do the camel! Please! (Frank's quizzical expression dissolves as he begins to laugh) I haven't seen it in years.
Fran: I don't know...have I seen this? I must've.
Bill: Come on. Do it!
Dave: Do the camel! (Fran, Dave, & Bill start chanting) CAMEL! CAMEL! CAMEL! CAMEL!
Bill: He does double-hump and single hump. (laughter from all)
Frank: I think I told you thirty years ago...
Dave: Thirty five.
Frank: Thirty-five years ago, I told you about the camel...and NOW you bring it back!
Dave: I'd just like to see it.
Frank: I'm not gonna do a god-**** camel!
Fran: Why?
Frank (getting agitated): BECAUSE I ---
Bill: I'll be the sunset (Frank laughs uproariously) and you can be the camel in the foreground.
Dave: I'll be the desert sand, shimmering...
Jerry: I'll be a palm tree!
Fran: I'll be a mirage. (Frank is still in hysterics)

 

[CBPuppets]

WAFFLE: Hello Class of 1985! Today we say goodbye to our School but we say hello to our future. MAKING FRENCH FRIES!
--Catscratch--

 

[D'Snowth]

BIG BIRD: Hola, Abelardo!
ABELARDO: Scram, Big Bird!

 

[LittleJerry92]

Servo: But Joel.... why was the movie so bad?
Crow: Yeah! It was cool in the beginning with the sidehacking, then they went right down the drain and they had to pad out the film with all that killing!
Joel: Oh no, Crow.... it wasn’t killing that padded out the film. Only love..... pads the film.

 

[CBPuppets]

GONZO: Excuse me — Sam! Sam!

SAM EAGLE: Not now, Gonzo.

GONZO: But Sam, this is urgent. Come here!

(GONZO and SAM have a whispered conversation between the TVs left and center.)

SAM EAGLE: What?!

GONZO: Yes!

SAM EAGLE: (Gasps.) Really?! Here?!

GONZO: Yes, indeed. Right over there!

SAM EAGLE: Well of course, certainly. Ladies and gentlemen, we have an unexpected surprise. I have the great honor of introducing the one, the only, Mr. Mickey Mouse!

(RIZZO enters right wearing Mickey ears. HE sings to the tune of the “Mickey Mouse Club March.”)

RIZZO: Na na na na na na na na na na na na na — Hello! Hi there! Welcome to my park. How ya doin’? Hello!

SAM EAGLE: (Sputters.) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

RIZZO: What?

SAM EAGLE: You are not Mickey Mouse — you are a rat!

RIZZO: Rat-shmat! Besides, they’re tourists! What do they know?

SAM EAGLE: Will you get out of here?!

RIZZO: Okay, but do I still get my 10 bucks?

SAM EAGLE: Get out! Get out! Get out!

(RIZZO exits, grumbling.)

GONZO: I got Donald Duck back here, I —

SAM EAGLE: Will you get out?!

GONZO: Yes. (Exits.)
--Muppet Vision 3D Pre Show--