The New New Quote Thread

[D'Snowth]

"Gus always running into the bathroom leads me to believe he's in the beginning stages of early on-set prostate cancer." ~ A random YouTube comment on RECESS from long, long ago

 

[LittleJerry92]

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler: Never kid a kid who hasn't had his recess.

 

[ConsummateVs]

"This is just Usain Bolt in a Sonic suit that was rubbed against an electric fence." - a YouTube commenter regarding Sonic the Hedgehog's new movie design

 

[antsamthompson9]

Clayton Roederer: Hi Cookie Monster and Grover. What's wrong?
Grover played by Jarrod Fairclough: Oh, hello, Mr. Roederer. Cookie and I are just feeling a little bit sad.
Clayton: Why is that?
Grover: Well, it is just that Frank Oz always said that we were special. He said that he would never do our voices as a party trick. We were supposed to be pure. But now Frank is doing voices for interviews! What is to keep him from doing my voice or Cookie's voice? What if we become party tricks?
Cookie Monster played by JD Hansel: Me feel so abandoned. Maybe Frank never loved us after all. This worse than the way me treated by Linda all those years.
Clayton: Whoa, how did Linda treat you?
Cookie: You know, the day me met her, me must have said something to offend her because, she never talk to me, not one word. Like how did me upset her for all those years? What did me do?
Clayton: Okay guys, I think you're a little more worried about this than you need to be. Frank only did that once, and it wasn't because he doesn't love you, it's because he wanted everyone to see the movie. He wanted everyone to share the love that he has for you. And Muppet Guys Talking is helping people do that.
Grover: So Mr. Oz still cares about our character purity?
Clayton: Of coarse he does. But hey, let's face it, he only did Animal. I mean Animal's a pretty one-dimensional character, so there wasn't too much character to make him pure, he's just food, sleep, drums, and pain.
Grover: Uh, Mr. Roederer, you left out sex.
Clayton: Well, I'm Protestant.
Cookie: So no more party tricks from Frank Oz?
Clayton: Nope, just political commentary on Twitter.
Grover: Oh good! I cannot wait to hear what Frank Oz has to say about Donald Trump.
Clayton: Me too, Grover. Me too.

 

[D'Snowth]

GEORGE: Excuse me, how much is this?
VENDOR: $1.89.
GEORGE: I'll give you a quarter.
VENDOR: Get the #3|| outta here!
JERRY: Tell 'im 40 and no fork.
GEORGE: 30.
VENDOR: That's it, you leave and never come back!
JERRY: How about we leave and come back in a week?
VENDOR: Deal!

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

These pretzels are making me thirsty. - Kramer

 

[CBPuppets]

Knuckles: You know what I do when I start to feel down?

Dr. Eggman: No. What?

Knuckles: I have no idea. I feel great all the time!

--Sonic Boom Episode: Lair on Lockdown--

 

[D'Snowth]

"You will listen to my poetry, but first, I shall destroy your puny city." ~ Mikey Blumberg as a 50-foot giant

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

Principal Prickly: I never saw Philliam again. He quit teaching, went into politics, eventually became Secretary of Education, until the president fired him for trying to get rid of recess again. Only this time it was nationwide!