The New New Quote Thread

[D'Snowth]

KRAMER: Hello, I'm Dr. Van Nostrand from the clinic. I'm going to need Elaine Benes's chart, she's a patient of mine, and . . . I don't think she's going to make it, it's . . . very bad, very messy.
RECEPTIONIST: I see, and what clinic is that?
KRAMER: Uh, that's correct.

 

[antsamthompson9]

It's not really that funny, so much as it his sexist and ignorant.

I wouldn't say that's sexist as much as it's him making sure feminists are happy or whatever. At the time, he was married, so he had to make sure his wife's feelings wouldn't be hurt of she listened.

 

[cjd874]

Billy Joel: This next song was written in 1975, when I was still living here in Los Angeles. [crowd roars] I like doing this song...because it reminds me of what an ***-hole I used to be! [everyone laughs] This is called "The Entertainer!"

 

[antsamthompson9]

JD Hansel: We can at least be thankful for Leslie Carrara's great performance, cause this was one of my favorite characters she's ever done honestly.
Steve Swanson: She did a great job.
JD: I love Becky, the New York accent was great.

 

[D'Snowth]

FRIDAY: That's it. The limosine from the mansion.
STREBEK: Yeah, and that's Emil Muzz.
FRIDAY: Let's check Enid Borden's description.
STREBEK: Let's see. "Big. Bad. Stupid-lookin'."
FRIDAY: An exact match.

 

[cjd874]

A brief collection of Statler and Waldorf quotes over the years...

Statler: Every week this show looks better to me!
Waldorf: Every week, your eyesight is getting worse!

Waldorf: Well, this was a show to remember!
Statler: Why is that?
Waldorf: Uh, I forget!

Statler: Are you ready for the end of the world?
Waldorf: It certainly couldn't be worse than this show!

Statler: Well, we sure got our money's worth tonight.
Waldorf: But we paid nothing!
Statler: That's what we got!

Statler: Boy, that was really, really great!
Waldorf: You LIKED the show?
Statler: No, I was talking about my nap!

 

[D'Snowth]

CAT R. WAUL: Bring me the subversive who attempted to assassinate me!
CHULA: I just lo-o-ove find subversives! Hey Boss, what's a subversive?
CAT R. WAUL: Someone who doesn't have very long to live.

 

[cjd874]

Floyd: Hey Dudley, is it okay if me and my friend come in?
Dudley: Yeah, sure! (notices Animal panting heavily) If this is your friend, I'd hate to meet your enemies.

----The Muppet Show, Episode 407

 

[ConsummateVs]

Shahrukh: I need someone to make my eyes blink. I shouldn't have to do this myself.

- Littlest Pet Shop: season 1, episode 14

 

[LittleJerry92]

"Do you think they can see us, Joel Hodgson?

Yeah, Crow. The transmission light is on, isn't it?

Wuuuuuhhh-woop! Woop-woop-woop, woop-woop!

Joel Hodgson, it's the first time Beeper's been seen by a human being - uh, present company excluded, that is.

Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop!"