The Muppet Christmas Show!

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Merry (Late) Christmas! Here's the last part of:

THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS SHOW!​

DRESSING ROOM
　
The workers are still fixing the chimney, Sweetums is pacing back and forth and Gerald is sitting, beardless, on the couch, twiddling his thumbs and looking around in amusement. Kermit, Rowlf and Scooter run in, Kermit is in a panic.
　

KERMIT
Gerald! Are you alright?
Rowlf said you didn’t know who
you were!

　​

Gerald just looks around blankly.

GERALD
Were you talking to me?

　
KERMIT
Of course!

　
GERALD
Oh, so my name is Gerald?

　
KERMIT
Sheesh.

　
SCOOTER
So what are we going to do
about the finale, boss?

　
KERMIT
What can we do? Gerald can’t go
on not knowing who he is!

　​

Kermit, Scooter and Rowlf join Sweetums in pacing. Sweetums suddenly stops and picks Kermit up.

　
SWEETUMS
I got it!​

Sweetums whispers in Kermit’s ear(?) and Kermit’s face lights up.
　

KERMIT
That’s terrific! Scooter!

　
SCOOTER
Yeah, boss?

　
KERMIT
Call Hilda and tell her we need
one hundred and fifty costumes
by the end of the next act!
I have an intro to do!​

Kermit rushes out again. Scooter and Rowlf exchange confused looks.
　

SCOOTER
One hundred and fifty costumes?

　
SWEETUMS
You’ll see.

　​

STAGE
　
Kermit stands before the curtain, waiting for the applause to die down.
　

KERMIT
Thank you! First, I hesitate to
tell you that there has been a change
in the program. Our original finale
has been preempted in favor of our friend,
The Count’s rendition of the song,
‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’.
But now, I take great pride in
introducing a recreation of a sketch
we first did waaaay back on
‘The Ed Sullivan Show’, ladies and
gentlemen, ‘The Christmas Reindeer’!

　​

Kermit backs off as the curtains open, revealing an EXACT recreation of the set from the old sketch. The reindeer march on, with Dasher leading in a chant.

　
DASHER
Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two,
three, four. Company HALT, one, two!

　​

The reindeer all stop and form a line.
　

DASHER
Roll call, I’m Dasher.

　
DANCER
Dancer.

　
PRANCER
Prancer.

　
DONDER
Donder.

　
BLITZEN
And Rumpelstiltskin!

　
OTHERS
(LAUGH)

　
DASHER
Company, TEN HUT!

　​

The other reindeer all line up again.
　

DASHER
That’s enough of that, Blitzen.

　
BLITZEN
Sorry, sir.

　
DASHER
Now, men, I’ve called you together
because we have a very important job to do.​

All of the other reindeer begin to drift away.
　

DANCER
See ya later.

　
PRANCER
So long.

　
DONDER
Bye, bye.

　
BLITZEN
Gotta go, I’ve got a job as a hat rack.

　
DASHER
Wait a minute! Company, TEN HUT!

　​

The reindeer all rush in and line up again.
　

DASHER
Listen, we’ve got a very big problem
here at the North Pole.

　
OTHERS
(CONFUSED MUTTERING)

　
DASHER
I’m referring to the fact
that it’s only one day ‘til
Christmas and it hasn’t snowed yet.

　
BLITZEN
Oh, yeah?

　
DONDER
Hey, it hasn’t snowed yet.
That’s serious.

　
PRANCER
Yeah, snow joke!

　​

The others begin to break ranks again.
　

OTHERS
(LAUGHING)

　
DASHER
COMPANY, TEN HUT!​

The others scamper back into line.
　

DASHER
Now listen, branch brains.
If there’s no snow we won’t
Be able to deliver the
gifts on Christmas Eve.

　
DONDER
How ‘bout we just mail ‘em.

　
OTHERS
(AGREEING MUTTERING)

　
BLITZEN
I’ve got an idea!

　
DASHER
Yeah?

　
BLITZEN
If there isn’t any snow maybe we
can get some ‘snu’ and spread it around.

　
DASHER
What’s ‘snu’? Wait a minute!
Don’t tell me. ‘Nothing’s new…’

　
ALL
‘What’s new with you?’

　
OTHERS
(LAUGH)

　
DASHER
Come on. Be serious, guys.
Don’t you have any Christmas spirit?

　
OTHERS
(SHEEPISHLY AGREEING)

　
DASHER
Don’t you love to go,
dashing through the snow?

　
OTHERS​

In a one horse open sleigh,
Over the fields we go,
Laughing all the way.​

(LAUGHING)

　
DASHER
COMPANY, TEN HUT!​

　
Once again the others fall into line.
　

DASHER
Can’t believe ‘ya. Now, we’ve
got a lot of toys to deliver.

　
DONDER
That’s true, We’ve got seven
million dolls, six million bicycles
and five golden rings.

　
OTHERS​

Four calling birds,
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear…​

　
DASHER
STOP! Come on, twig heads.
How can we deliver those toys
without snow?

　
BLITZEN
Hey, the Indian’s do a rain dance.

DASHER
So?

　
BLITZEN
Let’s do a snow dance!

　​

A tribal beat kicks up and the others begin to dance in a circle.
　

DASHER
You guys gotta be kidding.

　
DANCER​

There’s no snow,
So sad are we,

　​

PRANCER​

As we build the toys,
And decorate the tree,​

　
DONDER​

If only it’d snow,
How happy we’d be.​

　
BLITZEN​

And we’d smile and grin,
And laugh, tee-hee.

　​

DASHER
Tee-hee?

　
BLITZEN
Tee-hee.

　
OTHERS
Ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha ho-ho yuk-yuk.
Come on snow!

　​

The sky darkens and it begins to rain.
　

DASHER
Swell, now you’ve done it.

DANCER
It’s to be expected.

　
PRANCER
After all, we are RAIN-deer.

　
DONDER
Keep dancing.

　​

The beat picks up again and the rain stops.
　

BLITZEN​

I’m sure it’ll snow,
If you dance to.​

　
DASHER​

I may look silly,
But I’ll join the crew.

　​

The beat kicks up into a decidedly more jolly tune.
　

DASHER​

For it’s Christmastime,
And we need snow.

　​

ALL​

Let the white flakes fall,
Let the north winds blow,
So the yuletide stockings will,
Overflow,
With the toys Santa brings,
In his sleigh,
Through the…​

　
BLITZEN
WAIT! Look! Up in the sky!

　
PRANCER
It’s a storm!

　
DONDER
It’s a blizzard!

　​

A single snowflake drifts down from the sky.
　

DASHER
It’s a beginning.

　
PRANCER
One more time!

　​

The song kicks up once again.
　

ALL​

For it’s Christmastime,
And we need snow.
Let the white flakes fall,
Let the north winds blow,
So the yuletide stockings will,
Overflow,
With the toys Santa brings,
In his sleigh,
Through the snow!​

　​

A flurry picks up as the reindeer begin to celebrate.
　
BACKSTAGE
Whatnot stagehands are rushing back and forth with fabric scraps and finished costumes as Hilda feverishly works the sewing machine. Kermit weaves his way in and out of the mayhem and up to Hilda.
　

KERMIT
How’re we doing, Hilda?

　
HILDA
As good as to be expected.
I have finished sixty-eight already.

　
KERMIT
Keep up the good work!

　​

Kermit runs over to his desk and hits the intercom button.
　

KERMIT
Robin! You need to get ready
for your big moment!

　​

Out of the crowd comes Count Von Count.
　

COUNT
Seventeen! Seventeen panicked stagehands!
Eighteen! Eighteen panicked stagehands!
Nineteen! Nineteen panicked stagehands!
(LAUGHS)

　​

The Count’s laugh is accompanied by his trademark thunder and lightning.
　

KERMIT
Count, could you hold off on
the lightning?

　
COUNT
Ah, Kermit! I understand that
my number has been changed.

　
KEMRIT
Yes, it has. Our agency Santa
had a little accident and
we needed a new finale.

　
COUNT
I understand. And, now I am
off to ready myself.

　
KERMIT
I think Hilda’s finished your costume.

　
COUNT
I know, I already have it.

　​

The Count holds up a hanger with an almost exact duplicate version of his normal wardrobe on it.
　

KERMIT
Great! You go get dressed,
I’ll start the intro!​

ONSTAGE
The fanfare blares as Kermit rushes on.
　

KERMIT
And now, we have for you our
very special finale!
Our friend Count Von Count
and the Muppet singers, including
my own little nephew, Robin,
perform ‘The Twelve days of Christmas’!
Yaaay!

　​

The curtains open, the band picks up and The Count is standing there next to a pear tree. Robin pops out of the top of the tree, dressed as a partridge.
　

COUNT​

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,

　​

ROBIN​

A partridge in a pear tree.​

　
COUNT
That’s one gift.​

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me…

　​

Two turtles with wings pop up and join in the song.
　

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves…

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.

　​

COUNT
That’s four gifts.​

On the third day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,

　​

Gonzo enters followed by three chickens in berets.

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves,

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.

　​

COUNT
Ten gifts.​

On the forth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,

　​

Four birds carrying telephones, lead by Big Bird emerge from behind the tree.
　

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves,

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.

　​

COUNT
Twenty. Twenty gifts!​

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,​

Fozzie, Cookie Monster, Grover, Bert and Ernie dance on, each holding a large gold hoop.
　

RINGS​

Five golden rings,

　​

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves,

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.​

　
COUNT
Thirty-two! Thirty-two gifts!​

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,

　​

Now the song gets interesting, as the next group (six geese laying in a bed) appears there is a SNAP and the backdrop falls down.
　

GEESE​

Six gees a-laying,

　​

RINGS​

Five golden rings,

　​

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves,

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.

　​

COUNT
Fifty-three wonderful gifts!​

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,​

　​

Miss Piggy leads six other female pigs onstage. They are all dressed as swans and wearing swimming goggles. A few of them are still struggling to get their costumes on.
　

PIGS​

Seven swans a-swimming,

　​

GEESE​

Six gees a-laying,

　​

RINGS​

Five golden rings,

　​

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves,

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.​

　
COUNT
Eighty-one fantastic gifts!​

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,

　​

Beauregard leads eight female Whatnots and eight cows onstage.
　

WHATNOTS & COWS​

Eight maids a-milking,

　​

PIGS​

Seven swans a-swimming,

　​

GEESE​

Six gees a-laying,

　​

RINGS​

Five golden rings,

　​

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves,

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.

　​

COUNT
One hundred and seventeen astounding gifts!​

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,

　​

Janice leads a chorus line onstage.
　

CHORUS LINE​

Nine ladies dancing,

　​

JANICE, WHATNOTS & COWS​

Eight maids a-milking,

　​

PIGS​

Seven swans a-swimming,

　​

GEESE​

Six gees a-laying,

　​

RINGS​

Five golden rings,

　​

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves,

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.

　​

COUNT
One hundred and sixty-two colossal gifts!​

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,​

　
Ten frogs, including Kermit, leap onto the stage and one of them falls right through the floor.
　

FROGS​

Ten lords a-leaping

　​

CHORUS LINE​

Nine ladies dancing,

　​

JANICE, WHATNOTS & COWS​

Eight maids a-milking,

　​

PIGS​

Seven swans a-swimming,

　​

GEESE​

Six gees a-laying,

　​

RINGS​

Five golden rings,

　​

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves,

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.​

　
COUNT
Two hundred and seventeen gifts!​

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,

　​

Floyd leads on the eleven pipers, three of which don’t even have on their costumes.
　

PIPERS​

Eleven pipers piping,

　​

FROGS​

Ten lords a-leaping

　​

CHORUS LINE​

Nine ladies dancing,

　​

JANICE, WHATNOTS & COWS​

Eight maids a-milking,

　​

PIGS​

Seven swans a-swimming,

　​

GEESE​

Six gees a-laying,

　​

RINGS​

Five golden rings,

　​

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves

　​

ROBIN​

And a partridge in a pear tree.​

　

COUNT
Two hundred and eighty three gifts!​

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,

　​

Animal leads on the drummers, and (as usual) is going overboard with his drumming.
　

DRUMMERS​

Twelve drummers drumming,

　​

PIPERS​

Eleven pipers piping,

　​

FROGS​

Ten lords a-leaping

　​

CHORUS LINE​

Nine ladies dancing,

　​

JANICE, WHATNOTS & COWS​

Eight maids a-milking,

　​

PIGS​

Seven swans a-swimming,

　​

GEESE​

Six gees a-laying,

　​

RINGS​

Five golden rings,

　​

BIRDS​

Four calling birds,

　​

GONZO​

Three French hens,

　​

TURTLES​

Two turtle doves

　​

ALL​

And a partridge in a pear tree!

　​

COUNT
Three hundred and sixty-one
Christmas gifts! It’s wonderful!
(LAUGHS)

　​

With the thunder and lightning also comes the sound of a large pine tree falling over. The Christmas tree from backstage comes crashing onstage, falling on Gonzo, obscuring the chorus line, knocking over two frogs, waking the geese and scaring off the cows. Kermit rushes to beat the curtains as they close to cover the disaster. Despite the disaster the audience is applauding wildly, even Statler and Waldorf are impressed.
　
BALCONY
　

WALDORF
It was horrible!

　
STATLER
It was terrible!

　
WALDORF
It was disastrous!

　
STATLER
It was loud!

　
WALDORF
They didn’t disappoint!

　
STATLER
Yes, they did!

　
BOTH
(LAUGH)

　​

STAGE
Kermit is standing there, looking a little frazzled.
　

KERMIT
Well, things didn’t go as
smoothly as I’d hoped.
But, there was one group that
helped make it a little
better, our special guest stars,
Big Bird!

　​

Big bird walks on to thunderous applause.
　

KERMIT
Grover!

　​

On walks Grover.
　

KERMIT
Cookie Monster!

　​

On walks Cookie Monster.
　

KERMIT
Bert and Ernie!

　​

On walk Bert and Ernie.
　

KERMIT
Count Von Count!

　​

Count walks on and takes a bow.
　

KERMIT
And Oscar the Grouch!

　
OSCAR
(OFF-SCREEN)
Bah, Humbug!

　
KERMIT
Thank you all and we’ll and
we’ll see you next year!
Merry Christmas!

　​

The band kicks up with the Christmas-ized version of the ending theme.
　
DRESSING ROOM
　
Gerald is still sitting on the couch, but now he looks deep in thought. The two workers finish on the chimney and begin to pack up.
　

WORKER #1
Hey, buddy?

　
GERALD
You talking to me?

　
WORKER #1
We’re sorry that we hit you
with that tool earlier.​

　

GERALD
That’s alright.

　
WORKER #2
You okay? You look like
you’ve forgotten something.

　
GERALD
I think I have, I just
can’t remember what!

　​

Worker #1 picks Gerald’s fake beard up and shows it to him.
　

WORKER #1
Does this have anything to do with it?

　​

It dawns on Gerald that he was supposed to be playing Santa Claus in the show.
　

GERALD
OH! That’s right! I’ve got a
show to do!

　​

He leaps up off the couch and bolts to the door, only to discover that it’s locked.
　

GERALD
Oh-no! We’re locked in!

　
WORKER #2
(To Worker #1)
We better be getting overtime
for this.

　
GERALD
HELP! LET US OUT! PLEASE!

　​

At the word ‘please’ the door flies open and with a swirl of Christmas magic in lumbers Mr. Snuffleupagus.
　

SNUFFY
Excuse me, but have you
seen Bird anywhere?

　​

Both of the workers and Gerald promptly pass out.
　

SNUFFY
I guess not.​

NEXT YEAR: More mayhem! More music! More Santa! More of the other Mayhem! And FRAGGLES!​

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

*Pokes head in and looks around*

Hello-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo?

Is there anyone reading this-is-is-is-is-is-is?

I guess not.

 

[mbmfrog]

*Pokes head in and looks around*

Hello-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo?

Is there anyone reading this-is-is-is-is-is-is?

I guess not.

Don't worry I am, and I enjoyed it all the way.

I mean wow, who would have thought that you can place the Sesame Street gang with the Muppet show cast in a holiday setting.

I got to tell you brillant work all over.

Please I do wish for you to keep up with these great ideas of yours.

Once again, thank you so much for the great story and keep up the good work on future stories as well.

 

[Muppetfan44]

I've been reading and it was a very good holiday fanfic!

Don't worry, I have been worrying about the same thing with my new fanfic, "One More Letter". I see the views increasing but no one's commenting. I just keep in mind that I'm writing my stories for me and remember how great it is to finish a story that I've really put my heart into. I can see that you definitely do that with your stories so always be proud of your work!

Happy New Year Everyone!

 

[animalrescuer]

I loved every part of this! I'm looking forward to the next one. I think it'll be interesting to see what the Fraggles will do for next year.

 

[unclematt]

Very well written. I enjoyed reading the entire thing. Eveyone was so in character. Impressive.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Very well written. I enjoyed reading the entire thing. Everyone was so in character. Impressive.

Glad you liked it.

I hope you will consider being my Fraggle Consultant for the next one.

Don't worry, I have been worrying about the same thing with my new fanfic, "One More Letter". I see the views increasing but no one's commenting. I just keep in mind that I'm writing my stories for me and remember how great it is to finish a story that I've really put my heart into. I can see that you definitely do that with your stories so always be proud of your work!

The thing is I am writing these stories with my heart put into 'em and would be still be happy with them, even if everyone I knew told me I stink at it! I just feel like I'm wasting my time reformatting them for the forum here if no one comments.

 

[unclematt]

I would love to be your Fraggle consultant.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Hooray!

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Just thought I'd bump this to say that the first part of the second show should be up some time tomorrow (and I didn't feel like starting the thread for it right now ).

Stay tuned and Happy Holidays!​