"The Moppet Family - Same Family, New Thread..."

[theprawncracker]

Jack: ...Bo... Is it that time of the month again...? 'Cause if you need a haircut, I want to know about it now, before it happens, so I know what to expect.

 

[Beauregard]

Father: Jack, you have a lot to learn about the British...where there is unknown, there is fear, where there is fear, there are moodswings. And kettle-corn is unknown....
Moppet: *exerts self* And kettle-corn is NOT frightening. *drives straight over the roundabout*

 

[theprawncracker]

Jack: Are we going to the circus or not? 'Cause I wants me some kettle corn... And to meet some lonely farm girls in need of a guy who'll leave them after he swipes their purse. ...I'm looking out for Biggy... I swear.

 

[Beauregard]

Father: While you're looking out for Biggy, would you mind looking out the rear window, the mirror is gone, it's just gone...

 

[theprawncracker]

Jack: *looks out rear window* We're being chased by a pack of rabid clowns.

 

[Beauregard]

Father: Oh no...not again...*turns off the road onto a sidestreet* Rabid clowns...that's not even funny...*squeals around a bend in the road* It's not the first time...

FLASHBACK!

Father is 5, asleep in bed when his door bangs open and Mrs Moppet Senior runs in all dressed in black with a ski-mask over her face.

Mrs Moppet Senior: The clowns! They have come! Quick, get under your bed, and whatever you do, do not laugh or you'll give us away!

END FLASHBACK

Father: *driving and weeping* But I couldn't not laugh when they put soda-water down their over-sized pants...I just couldn't help myself...oh...*wipes eyes* We could have been killed...

 

[theprawncracker]

Jack: ...WHAT are you TALKING about?! We're missing the circus!! Think of the kettle corn Bo! The KETTLE CORN!!

 

[Beauregard]

Father: *still in a state of mental anguish* The white faces...the big feet...You know what they say about men with big feet? It makes me tremble to think of it...

FLASHBACK

Mrs Moppet Senior: *points at Father and strides back and forth in front of him* Understand this, if those white-faced loonies see your planned infiltration to steal they water-shooting poppies, they will not hesitate to send the men with big feet after you.

END FLASHBACK

Father: Kettle-corn, kettle-corn, kettle-corn...*pause* I don't even know what kettle-corn is!

 

[theprawncracker]

Jack: That's the point! We have to find out! WE MUST FIND THE KETTLE CORN!!! ...And the lonely farm girls...

 

[Beauregard]

Father: Got it. Farm Girls, in a kettle, with corns...sounds painfull, yet satisfactory. *heads towards circus*