The Missing Muppet Movie

[mbmfrog]

Nice update as it looks like Steve has enough.

No more Mr. Nice guy.

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great storyline like this one.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

This is just a *BUMP* to ensure I can easily find this thread when I finish part ten.

*Pretends someone actually cares*

I've been putting all my effort into an actual novel as of recently, but I'll get back to this soon.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

There'd be more, but I don't have enough convoluted plans yet, it's:

Frognapped!
Part 10​

　
INT: RESTAURANT
　
Kermit and Piggy are now enjoying their dessert. Kermit has a piece of pie and Piggy is enjoying a sundae. Steve inches his way back in and makes his way around the edge of the room, trying his best not to be noticed. When another waiter passes by him, he suddenly realizes that he no longer has an apron. As a different waiter passes by him on the way back to the kitchen, Steve quickly redirects him.
　

STEVE
Would you mind coming with me for a few seconds?
　
WAITER
I, uh…​

　
Steve quickly ushers him to the front doors and, in one swift movement, grabs hold of the back of his apron, yanks it off and sends the poor waiter spinning out the door. He quickly dawns the apron himself on the way to Kermit’s table. He arrives just in time, both Kermit and Piggy are finished with their desserts. He puts on a big smile and seventies-sitcom-style acting.

　

STEVE
Did you enjoy your meal?​

　
Piggy and Kermit exchange confused looks.

　

KERMIT
Didn’t you just quit?​

　
Steve’s face drops when he realizes what an uproar he’d just made. But he’s not beat yet, the gears in his head quickly go to work.
　

STEVE
Did Jeremy quit AGAIN? Ah, don’t worry.
He’ll be back. Are you Kermit the Frog?​

　

KERMIT
Last time I checked my driver’s license.​

　
Steve reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper and a pen.

　

STEVE
Would you mind? It’s for my mother. She adores you.​

　

KERMIT
Of course.​

　
Steve hands Kermit the pen and he signs the paper and hands the pen back. Piggy puts on her best ‘flirty’ look.

　

PIGGY
Would you also care for moi’s signature?​

　
Steve sticks the paper and pen back in his pocket.

　

STEVE
(CALLOUSLY)
Not really.​

　
Piggy is insulted.

　

STEVE
(CONT’D)
By the way, do you happen to be the
owners of a blue car of some sort?​

　

KERMIT
No.​

　

STEVE
Uh…green?​

　

KERMIT
No.​

　

STEVE
(CLEARS THROAT)
Black?​

　

KERMIT
Actually, we just walked here.​

　
Without another word, Steve turns on his heels and walks out, leaving Kermit looks confused again. Piggy is miffed.

　

KERMIT
I wonder what that was about.​

　

PIGGY
Who cares?​

　
PARKING LOT
　
Steve comes out the doors, pulls off the apron, dumps it on the disheveled waiter who is on the ground just outside and walks back to the car. He leans on the car casually and calls into the open trunk.

　

STEVE
Bobo?​

　
With a splash, Bobo emerges from the magical endless trunk. This time he’s wearing a pair of tropical swim trunks, a snorkel and a pink, spotted dragon floating ring.
　

BOBO
Yep.​

　

STEVE
(INHALES) Yeah, we can pretty much scrap plan A.
They don’t have a car.​

　

BOBO
Then I guess we don’t need the sign.​

　
Bobo pulls out a handicapped sign on a pole.

　

STEVE
Nope.​

　
Bobo drops the sign and it falls out of sight.

　

BOBO
Well, there's plenty more where that one came from.​

　
A loud, echoing CRASH signals that the sign has hit the bottom of the trunk. Steve and Bobo both jump.
　

FADE TO​

EXT: BEACH - DAY
　
The music is clichéd spy type music which is a stark contrast to the tranquil beach setting. Out on the beach, Kermit and Piggy are in line to rent a Jet-ski completely unaware that they are being watched from behind a large plant.
Steve sits behind the plant with a pair of binoculars. He is now dressed like a typical tourist, with a tropical print shirt, Bermuda shorts and fishing hat. Keeping his eyes trained on Kermit, he pulls up a tape recorder and presses the record button.
　

STEVE
Mission day, two. Time, ten-forty-six A.M.
I am keeping a close eye on the target,
looking for the opportune moment to
enact plan 34-X9 asterisk Z3Z-KL8943-P0145.​

　
He puts the tape recorder down and, almost a quickly, pulls it back up.
　

STEVE
Note to self: rename plans.​

　
As he puts the tape recorder down again, Bobo lumbers over. He is still wearing the same beach getup from the trunk, minus the snorkel. He is carrying a vanilla ice cream cone with multicolor sprinkles. He taps Steve on the shoulder.
　

BOBO
Hey.​

　
Steve drops his binoculars and turns around to face Bobo. Bobo points to someone off camera.

　

BOBO
Tell me that ice cream man doesn't look like Bob Hope.​

　
Steve responds by grabbing him and pulling him down behind the plant.

　​

STEVE
Aren't you supposed to be out in the water?​

　

BOBO
Yep.​

　

STEVE
Then, why are you here with an ice cream cone,
as opposed to out there…​

　
He motions out to the water and we see that Kermit and Piggy are now headed for the dock.

　

STEVE
(CONT’D)
…according to plan?​

　
Bobo just shrugs.

　

BOBO
Dunno.​

　
Steve slaps himself in the forehead and Bobo starts on his ice cream.

BOBO
Want a lick?​

Steve grabs the cone and heaves it away. Bobo is stunned.​

If anyone has any ideas for convoluted plans, I'm now taking suggestions!

 

[mbmfrog]

Great update to the story as it was worth the wait.

And if you asked me for an idea, I would suggest for the villains to distract the Pig.

Because if you take out the Pig by sepeating her and the Frog for a time being, then you can win easily.

How to do it, I would have Bobo, be like a BIG fan of Piggy and have her do zany stunt to earn some applause from a drawing crowd while Kermit looks from afar.

Then when she isn't looking, the frog is capture easily.

At least it's just an idea.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

While that is a great idea (and I might just use it, thank you) I meant I was looking for plans that would fail to work. I've got a montage planned out, but I need a few more plans to make it work.

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Just a quick *BUMP* to say that I'm almost finished with part 11 (Including a new song!).

I should have it ready to put up by tommorrow.

*Merrily skips back to my fantasy land where people actually care what I say*​

 

[ZeppoAndFriends]

Proving I'm as lousy a songwriter as I am a storyteller, it's:

FROGNAPPED!
Part 11​

Kermit and Piggy have mounted their Jet-Ski, Piggy in front and Kermit behind her. Kermit is looking around at the water nervously.

　
KERMIT
Do you know how to drive one of these?
　​

Piggy revs the engine.
　

PIGGY
You bet your flippers, I do. Hang on!​

　
Piggy takes off with Kermit clinging on to her waist for dear life.
　

CUT TO​

STEVE’S P.O.V.
Steve watches through the binoculars as Piggy does a few donuts in the water, with Kermit flapping along in the breeze behind her.

BACK TO SCENE
Steve and Bobo are still sitting behind the plant. Steve drops the binoculars and sighs.
　

STEVE
Well, that’s two plans shot.​

　
Bobo pulls the manila envelope out of nowhere and opens it.
　

BOBO
There’s still plenty more.​

　
Bobo opens the envelope and pulls out another sheet of paper. PULL IN on Steve and Bobo as they begin to look it over and a rollicking song kicks in.

An Electric Mayhem song plays over a back-and-forth montage showing Steve and Bobo’s failed capture attempts and things falling apart for the rest of the Muppets back home.

Over the intro, Kermit and Piggy are taking a walk on the beach at dusk. Bobo approaches them and displays a camera and points to a specific palm tree on the edge of the sand. Kermit doesn’t look so sure, but Piggy gently prods him into it.
　

DR. TEETH
So, you’re thinking that the world,
Is against ya,
That nothing that you do is right,​

　
Kermit and Piggy pose beneath the tree and Bobo begins to fiddle with the camera. PAN UP to reveal Steve is up in the tree with a large fishing net.
　

DR. TEETH
But, if you wonder where you’re going,
Or the way the winds are blowing,
It’ll only keep you up all night!​

　
Steve struggles with the net, only to wind up tangled in it. Bobo snaps the picture and lumbers over to show it to Kermit and Piggy. They both nod approvingly and they walk off, Bobo waving them goodbye. Not two seconds after they go, Steve falls from the tree, toppling Bobo and getting them both caught in the net. A shadow falls across them as a large, and none to happy, monster fisherman arrives to reclaim his property.
　

DR. TEETH
The world is a crazy place, yeah,
The world’s at a hectic pace,
There’s no way to control it,
It’s better just to roll it,
The best part is the thrill of the chase!​

　
Back in the kitchen the Muppets’ house, things seemed to have calmed down from the time Kermit called, but it’s still a madhouse. The fridge is in the midst of being raided by Big Mean Carl and Luncheon Counter Monster while a pair of rats take turns bouncing on a Jell-o mold. The Chef has caught the octopus and has tied it to a chair while he joyfully sharpens his favorite cleaver. Meanwhile, several more rats have turned the cabinets into balcony seats to watch the main event. As the Chef turns to the octopus, something on the stove catches fire and Beauregard, still with a section of the banister stuck on his neck, rushes in to put it out. He inadvertently knocks the Chef over, sending the cleaver flying into the back of the chair, cutting the octopus loose without a scratch. The octopus bolts. The Chef recovers and notices the absence of his main course. He pulls the cleaver out of the back of the chair and brandishes it a Beau, who realizes that now would be a good time to run.
A musical interlude finds Bobo and Steve masquerading as a pair of statues in an outdoor art gallery that Kermit and Piggy are casually strolling through. When they wander close enough, Steve and Bobo each take a swipe at Kermit, while he’s not looking, and both of them miss.

　
FLOYD
No matter what the age,
The thrill of being on the stage,
Doesn’t beat the thrill that’s in the crowd,​

　

JANICE
The audience just knows,
Go with the river as it flows,
　
DR. TEETH
Then they stand up and say it proud!​

　
The backyard doesn’t seem to be any better than the kitchen. A game of chicken volleyball has broken out between two teams: Timmy Monster, with Mean Mama and Snake Frackle, and Doglion, with Miss Kitty and one of the Mutations. Gonzo runs back and forth under the net, trying to catch the chicken as it is batted back and forth over the net. A penguin with a fish in its mouth is chased around the yard by Lew Zealand, who is none to happy with the prospect of losing another one. Meanwhile, an alligator lounges in a small inflatable pool. A pair of frogs wander over and the gator wastes no time in snapping up the closest one. His friend starts smacking the gator on the snout, trying to get his friend back.
　

DR. TEETH
The world is a hectic place, man,
The world’s at a frantic pace,
And if you think that you,
Can tell it what to do,
You’ll just end up with mud on your face,

The world is a frantic place, yeah,
The world is a crazy pace,
When thing all fall apart,
You just have to take heart,
‘Cause it’s been that way since the dawn,
Of the human race!​

　
　
Steve and Bobo are now playing street magicians, complete with top hats and a big steamer trunk, while Kermit and Piggy are amongst the crowd of spectators. They are just finishing up a cheesy card trick, garnering a weak scatter of applause from the audience. Steve hands the deck of cards to Bobo and he puts them back in the trunk and pulls out a sheet. Steve gives a few mystical waves at the sheet and begins to play ‘Eenie-meanie-miney’ with the crowd. A few eager people raise their hands, but Steve ignores them all and, instead, picks Kermit, yanking him up between them. Bobo flings the sheet over him and Steve gives a few magical hand gestures. Bobo pulls the sheet away revealing…Kermit, no worse for wear. The crowd begins to boo and walk away. Kermit shrugs it off and he and Piggy walk away. Bobo begins to examine the sheet in utter bewilderment and Steve deflates in exasperation.

CLOSE-UP on Zoot, who begins a blaring saxophone solo.

The Electric Mayhem is rocking out in the middle of the living room, around them, the room in chaotic. Sweetums and Robin rush back and forth with buckets, trying to keep up with a leaking pipe that is sticking out of the wall, while Fozzie tries to find a way to stop it. Sam has been stuck in the pendulum cabinet for the grandfather clock and is pounding on the glass, trying to get out. Scooter rushes in with a tool box and slips on the wet floor, sending tools flying everywhere.
　

DR. TEETH
The world is a crazy place, yeah, yeah, yeah,
The world’s at a frantic pace,
There’s no way to control it,
So you might as well just roll it,
And hope that you’ll be dealing an ace!
The world is a crazy place, yeah,
The world is a crazy place, yeah,
The world is a crazy place, yeah…​

　
Bobo and Steve are standing in an alleyway. Bobo is wearing a tutu, cowboy hat, oven mitts and a Scuba tank. Steve is in a leather jacket, clown wig, hooded cape and a large red bowtie. They give each other a once-over glance, the Steve pulls out the plan page and they look it over. Steve shrugs, crumples the plan up, throws it over his shoulder and rips off his wig.
　

DISSOLVE TO​

　​

With the dissolve the song also fades, leaving Steve and Bobo in their rental car, in a parking lot, at nightfall, looking utterly defeated.
After a few moments, both Steve and Bobo give dejected sighs. Bobo pulls out the envelope, one last time.
　

BOBO
I think there might be one left.​

　
Steve grabs the envelope and rips it in two.
　

STEVE
Enough with the ridiculous plans.
This movie’s been off track for too long.​

　
He reaches into the back seat and pulls up a simple burlap sack.
　

BOBO
What’re you gonna do?​

　

STEVE
I’m gonna wing it.​

　
Steve opens his door and clambers out of the car.

 

[mbmfrog]

Nice update, but it seems that the rest of the Muppets are going to need a miracle for them to keep the house in order in time for the Frog to come home.

Also nice song and it would be interesting to see what Steve has planned now that we know he's going to wing it.

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale.

 

[Muppetfan44]

That was definitely the best chapter yet, and the song was great! You described all the different scenes wonderfully and they were all so realistic. I could totaly picture Bobo taking Kermit and Piggy's picture while Steve is stuck in the net above, and Sweetums and Robin running with bukets trying to stop the leaking pipe. The pace of this chapter was a lot faster and it flowed beautifully

Very well done! Looking forward to the next update!

 

[JEANYLASER]

I can't wait to read more suspense!