The Mighty Megalosaurus

[RedPiggy]

Well, thanks. That was my other inconsistency. Earl had stories of his father, including the one where he gives Earl pterodactyl-skin gloves for Hurling Day on Earl's Wedding Day. However, Pearl says their mother outlived their father. But Pearl leaves before Earl marries Fran, when ... argghh!

edit: When I get done with this (hopefully today), I'll post my timeline, like Redsonga is doing for her encyclopedia. It will encompass just about every fic I've done.

 

[RedPiggy]

The Janitor

(60,000,026BC)

The allosaurus female, four pink crests just beginning to rise from her green head, giggled with the rest of her fifteen-year-old classmates as they sat on some bleachers, watching the muscular janitor move a wheelbarrow full of dirt around, the sweat glistening as it dropped to the floor. She wore a thick yellow sweater with leaves embroidered along the sides. They had just returned from an Ash Day, which seemed awfully early this year. Volcanoes almost never went off in the early spring. The janitor sure had his hands full.

Glenda, a purple needle-nosed female, wearing a broad-rimmed pink hat with daisies in it, laughed. “Hey, Fran – I dare you to whistle to him.”

Fran Phillips glanced at her, blushing, as her other classmates started to egg her on. “But, Glenda, I’m not that kind of female.”

Glenda rolled her eyes. “Fran, if you’re sleazy enough to gawk at him, you’re sleazy enough to do catcalls,” she replied in an expasperated tone. She elbowed Fran. “C’mon – stop being such a … such a guy.”

“Yeah, it’s not like guys get to have our kind of fun,” offered another student.

“But you don’t even like him,” protested Fran. “You think he’s dumber than the dirt he carries.”

Glenda scoffed. “Really, Fran – you don’t have to like him to tease him.”

“I don’t think that’s very nice,” Fran said, shaking her head.

Glenda stood up and grinned. “Then I’ll do it.” She cupped her hands around her snout. “Hey, Sinclair! You got a tissue?”

Earl Sinclair stopped and shook his head.

Glenda laughed. “But I thought you invented them – Earl Sneeze Sinclair!” Her friends all erupted in laughter, slapping their knees, nearly falling over on the bleaches.

Fran frowned.

“It’s ‘Sneed’, you illiterate lizards!” Earl shot back before continuing on his journey, grumbling.

“Was that really necessary?” Fran asked Glenda, hurt.

Glenda slapped Fran’s shoulder. “Oh, lighten up, Fran. Stop being such a goody-goody.”

<><><><><><>

Ethyl Phillips sat down at the dinner table, elegantly draped in a silk tablecloth underneath a sparkling chandelier. She smiled as Fran brought in the dishes, piled with food. “Fran, dear, I hear you have a crush on someone.”

Fran blushed.

Ethyl laughed. “Ha! I knew it! So, who is it? That Pullman kid? Bright boy – he’ll turn into a fine chemist some day.”

“Well,” Fran began slowly as she sat down to eat, “I can’t seem to make up my mind between a strapping young tyrannosaur or a strapping … um … older … megalosaurus.”

Ethyl smirked. “Ah, torn between the King of the Dinosaurs and a senior, huh? Maybe I can help you pick.”

Fran cleared her throat. “Well – the tyrannosaur is very nice,” she told her mother. “He plans on becoming a swimming instructor.”

“I guess dog-paddling is out of the question,” Ethyl noted dryly.

Fran gave her mother a dirty look. Finally, she smiled dreamily. “The megalosaur, on the other hand, um, is easy on the eyes and has a great sense of responsibility toward family. He cares for his mother, who’s been sick for quite awhile now.”

Ethyl stroked her chin. “Hm, eye candy versus dedication.” She nodded slowly. “That’s a tough call.” She stared lovingly at her daughter. “What do you think of them so far?”

“My instincts tell me that dedication to family is more important than just mere looks,” replied Fran.

Ethyl smiled and nodded. “That’s my girl.” She quickly lost her smile, but teased, “Just don’t forget that it’s not an ‘either/or’ situation, Frannie. Success is also about trying to maximize all the benefits.” She couldn’t help but smirk.

“Mother,” protested Fran as she started to dine, rolling her eyes.

<><><><><><>

Earl finally got home late that night. He put up his gloves and his work boots and sighed. He opened their small fridge and took out a small frog and gulped it down without even bothering to cook it.

Cayla, in a striped bathrobe, wearily entered the tiny kitchen, holding onto a walker. “Earl? How was work?” she asked, smiling weakly.

“Have you heard from Pearl?” Earl asked her, not succeeding in hiding his bitterness about those blasted teenage females teasing him.

Cayla nodded. “She called this morning,” his mother replied. “She’ll be mailing the check tomorrow as soon as the post office opens." She gently put a hand on his bulging back muscles. “Don’t worry, son. You’ll find a full-time position in no time.”

Earl sighed and reached for a beer. “I’m just … we’re making it, Mama, but I just wish I could do more for you. Working a couple of days a week while Pearl just belts out her sweet little heart makes me feel … worthless.”

Cayla sighed and tried to cheer up her son. “At least the job at the school allows you to keep up your exercises,” she offered. “It’s nice of them to let you use their gym equipment.”

<><><><><><>

“What do you mean, ‘Sinclair’?” asked Ethyl as her daughter cleaned up the kitchen. She was frowning. “You don’t mean that high-school drop-out, do you?”

“Mother ….”

“Fran,” she snapped, slapping her hand down on the marble counter, “you wouldn’t dare embarrass this family by doing something that incredibly stupid.” She groaned. “You marry a guy like that and you’ll be cleaning dishes for the rest of your life. You’ll be laying egg after egg while he goes around with his buddies drinking beer and smoking cigars.” She shook her head. “I thought you’d had more sense than that.”

Fran threw down the towel and glared at her mother. “Mother, you told me a civilized dinosaur tries to see the good in everyone.”

“He keeps haulin’ dirt like that and sooner or later you’ll be seeing how good his spilled intestines look,” retorted her mother.

“Mother, you’re getting angry about nothing!” Fran protested. “He never asks anyone out! He’s twenty years old! What would he want with a teenager like me?”

“Don’t go thinking you’re not good enough for even a good-for-nothing like that,” Ethyl replied.

Fran smiled triumphantly. “Then you agree that I shouldn’t just dismiss him because he’s struggling right now?”

Ethyl opened her mouth, but no words came out. She had raised her children to reach for their highest goals. Stan had already been a disappointment. She didn’t want Fran to end up the same way – just settling for whatever she could get. She had worked too hard to be a good modern role model. The last thing she wanted was for Fran to end up a living kitchen mop. Still, she had to admit, she and her husband had taught Fran to search high and low for unexpected treasures.

 

[RedPiggy]

Leaves and Trees

(60,000,023BC)

Pearl strode up to the apartment and knocked on the door. Earl opened it. “Well,” he said bitterly, “look who decided to remember she had a family.”

Pearl, about equal in weight now with Earl (though it was flab, not muscle), put her flashy cowboy hat on the small kitchen table. “Now, Earl, I’ve been helpin’ payin’ the bills.”

Earl glanced toward his mother’s bedroom and then glared at his sister and hissed, “You know, this whole ‘let’s stick together’ thing was – hmm? Whose idea was it?” He shook his head and laughed condescendingly. “I know it sure wasn’t mine.”

Pearl scoffed, placing her hands on her wide hips. “And how do you expect me to help you?” She glared at him. “Don’t act like I’m the bad guy here, Earl. I know very well what this is really all about.” She pointed at him accusingly. “The slightest suggestion that a female is making more than you just goes and upsets your little male ego,” she told him. She looked away. “Boy, are you Papa all warmed over.”

Earl grabbed Pearl by her blouse. “How dare you tell me I’m not adequate enough?” he growled. “You turned your back on us!” He gasped and let her go, staring at the ground. “Oh God – I’ve become my father,” he muttered.

Pearl sighed. “If you’re done bein’ desperate to protect your male sensibilities, I’ve got to go.” She stopped at the front door. “Earl, you just got to find a good place you can take root. I’ve been learnin’ a lot at the circus. A dinosaur needs to find their place. You can’t keep living like you had the family you wished you had.”

<><><><><><>

Early one Monday morning, just before dawn, Earl Sinclair stared at a newspaper clipping from the classifieds. He stood just outside a large bricked office building. Suddenly, a green long-nosed dinosaur opened the door and beckoned Earl to enter.

Earl cautiously strode down the stern hallway, barely lit this early in the morning. He looked all around at bronze busts of various dinosaurs, all looking like they had never worked their entire lives.

The lone large double doors at the end of the hallway filled Earl with dread. He gulped.

“Well, come in,” a raspy male voice ordered. “Don’t stand out there like an idiot!”

“Y-yes, sir,” Earl answered as he opened the doors.

The long mahogany conference table was surrounded by various dinosaurs, including a small green dinosaur with a pointed head … and a giant of a triceratops, who was sipping some brandy … at six o’clock in the morning.

“Well,” said the little green one at the end of the table, “sit down, lad.”

Earl gulped and sat, terrified as he glanced at the triceratops, who had piercing yellow eyes.

“BOO!” screamed the triceratops in a grating voice, bursting into laughter as Earl nearly jumped clear to the ceiling, slapping his hands repeatedly on the table, nearly breaking it.

The small green dinosaur chortled and nodded. “Yes, I’d like you to introduce yourself. My name is Ashland,” he said, nodding toward the triceratops whose gray scales were reddened with laughter, “and this is Richfield.”

“Earl. Earl Sinclair,” the young interviewee offered timidly as his knees shook. “I understand you have some full-time positions available.”

Richfield grinned and turned to his boss, Ashland. “Well, he can read. That already puts him on the fast track to supervisor.”

“Really?” Earl gasped with a hopeful desperation. “Aw, that would be great!”

Richfield bent down to whisper to his boss, “And just stupid enough to know it doesn’t take any brains to watch other dinosaurs work.” Richfield and Ashland whispered a bit more before Richfield turned back to Earl. “Well, Mr. Sinclair,” he began cheerfully, “how many trees do you think you can push down in a shift?”

Earl stared at him in confusion. “Trees? I thought you said --.”

Richfield and Ashland chuckled. Ashland told him, “Now, now, Mr. Sinclair – we here at Wesayso ask all of our employees to start under probation. We have to see the skills. Anyone can write down anything on their resumés. We prefer hard objective data. You understand.”

Earl scratched his head. “I … I think so.” He looked at Richfield. “I’ve been lifting weights for years now. I can push down any tree you tell me to.”

Richfield grinned and slapped a hand on the table, making everyone jump a little. “Good man, Sinclair. You got drive. I like it!” he bellowed. “Report to this forest at 8AM tomorrow,” he told Earl, handing him a map. “Three-fifty to start, eight hour shifts, Monday through Friday.”

Earl giggled with excitement, taking the map. He bowed repeatedly as Richfield and Ashland glanced at each other, bemused. “Thank you! Thank you!” he shouted as he skipped and hopped out of the office.

 

[RedPiggy]

The Mighty Megalosaurus

(60,000,023BC)

Earl was finally happy. He was working the weekdays at Wesayso, pushing down stubborn trees that the other employees weren’t strong enough to push (or so Richfield said), and working one afternoon a week at Bob LaBrea High School so that he could continue working out. He had just had his picture taken, his muscles bulging as he posed with a red and black plaid thong. He showed his mother the picture, beaming, even as he was taken aback by how frail she looked by comparison.

“A letter came for you today,” Cayla noted weakly, nodding toward the small bedside table. “I think it’s from Pearl. She’s been a huge success too.”

Earl took the letter and started to read.

Dear Earl:

I’ve decided to marry Buttons. He just gets me, you know? He knows how to make me laugh and he treats me like a queen. I’m glad you finally got that job you were looking for. I wish you the best of luck.

Love Always,
Pearl

“Isn’t that wonderful?” Cayla asked her son.

Earl nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said, trying his best to fake sincerity.

<><><><><><>

Earl spent nearly all night at the gym, still lifting weights when the school opened the next morning. He saw his sister, surrounded by balloons and party favors and singing and dancing … and he pulled so hard on the weight machine, the wires nearly snapped. He stopped and ran to the forest to push down trees, and as soon as his shift was over, he ran back to the gym. He hadn’t even thought about his mother for the last forty-eight hours. All he could think about was how no matter how hard he tried to keep his family functional, it just kept getting worse.

Some senior tennis players started coming in from the tennis court, laughing and sweating and headed for the showers, including a very curvaceous allosaur female with bright pink crests wrapped with a dark blue sweatband.

“OW!” Earl screamed, dropping his weights, clutching his wrist.

The allosaur rushed over to him. “Mr. Sinclair, are you alright?” she asked him in a very concerned voice.

He smiled, trying to act brave, despite the tears flowing from his eyes. “Oh, it’s nothing, nothing a little splint won’t cure,” he told her. “And it’s Earl, Earl Sinclair.”

“Fran,” she replied, blushing. “You don’t seem to work around here much anymore. I’ve missed you.”

Now it was Earl’s turn to blush. “No offense, but I’m not all that interested in going to jail. You’re a little young.”

Fran smiled. “I turned eighteen just last Monday,” she told him coyly. She took off her sweatband. “Let me wrap that up for you,” she said in a motherly tone. “You should get that looked at,” she informed him, batting her eyes. “It looks broken.”

“Probably,” Earl replied, awestruck. No one had ever tended to him so, well, tenderly before.

“How’s your mother?”

Earl’s jaw dropped. “How do you know about my mother?”

Fran smiled. “A female’s business is to learn about the dinosaur she likes.”

Earl’s face turned as red as his shirt.

<><><><><><>

The last day of school two months later heralded a hurrah from all the students and the teachers. Fran was busy talking to her parents, dressed in silver robes from the graduation ceremony. Earl, meanwhile, walked to the apartment. He opened it, discovering in horror that his mother was on the small couch, dead.

<><><><><><>

The Phillips had refused to attend, but Roy was Best Man, dressed in a smart-looking tuxedo as Fran and Earl stood happily before the Council of Elders. The scent of incense and the candlelight atmosphere gave the civil ceremony a romantic atmosphere. Earl wore a rented tuxedo, while Fran wore a lacey white gown that stretched beyond her long tail. It had been her mother’s. While Ethyl refused to attend the ceremony, she had still given it to Fran, because that’s what mothers did – they provided for the next generation.

<><><><><><>

Earl carried Fran over the threshold to their new house. As Fran started to look around, Dominic, by now barely recognizable, appeared and handed his son a pair of gloves. “When the rich ol’ broad hits seventy-two, put ‘em ta good use,” he said, as he walked away for the last time. – The End –

 

[The Count]

*Claps for a job well done. Thank you for sharing another good read. Look forward to whatever else you may have in store for the future.