muppetwriter
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Chapter Five:
Thanksgiving was anything but thankful that day, as Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and I were still disturbed over the scene we witnessed of Lori’s release from the Daily Bugle on the previous day. She was still locked up in her room, coming up with a perfect (and hopefully safe) way to prove to Jonah that Spider-Man was not a criminal. After sixteen hours, I was beginning to get curious as to what my sister might’ve been planning, because she hardly made a sound from her room.
Frankie: No sound from behind the closed door of a bedroom can't be a good sign.
MW: Tell me about it.
I had Rizzo the Rat (one of Gonzo’s very best friends) crawl through a tiny rat hole in Lori’s apartment, but it turned out that there was some kind of cybernetic rat-catching cat (which Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker had to build for her, when some of Rizzo’s friends were sneaking into her apartment) there to drive annoying pests, such as Rizzo, out of the room. I don’t think Rizzo would’ve dared to go back into Lori’s room, after his frightening encounter.
Gonzo: Can't blame the little guy. I heard those devices can be deadly to rats.
Kermit: I can't honestly imagine Bunsen and Beaker inventing anything deadly to anyone, except for maybe Beaker.
After my first failed attempt, I then had Clifford romance Lori with his hip personality and his own version of “The Thong Song,” which he creatively called “The PONG Song,” comparing his love for Lori to the small dot in the actual PONG game that bounced off the two bars by saying that it’s “hard to keep inside.”
Kim: Oh, gimme a break!
Ron: I tried something like that once on Bonnie...and I, uh...rather not say anymore about that incident.
While he was doing that, Pepe the Prawn was outside Lori’s apartment, lowering himself (via a crude pulley system developed by Rizzo and Gonzo) down to her bedroom window and attempting to inspect through her apartment for materials that would give us hints about her master plan.
Coco: Coco. Coco. Coco.
Wilt: That IS a nice distraction....for a king prawn.
Unfortunately, because of the poor construction of the pulley system, Pepe never even got the chance to sneak into Lori’s apartment. The system had fallen apart before Pepe got the window halfway open, causing him to fall fifty feet down the side of the building and right into piles of smelly, week-old trash gathered in a slimy dumpster. That was soon before a garbage truck aligned and inserted its large prongs into the slots on the dumpster, flipping it upside-down and emptying Pepe and all of the trash into its storage compartment. A few hours later, we found Pepe at the city dump, lying in a pile of half-eaten seafood meals; the poor guy was traumatized for nearly a month by the experience.
“The horror…THE HORROR!!!!” He cried.
Mac: Whoa.
Kermit: It's remarkable how quickly he recovered from that.
After Pepe’s incident, I gave up using my friends as spies, before I ended up putting any of them in serious danger. I don’t know what Lori had up her sleeve, but it was obvious that I was never going to find out about it, until after it had been done. So Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and I just tried to enjoy our Thanksgiving Day the best way we could; but not even thinking about a big, delicious turkey could brighten our spirits.
Bloo: Ohhhhh....
Mac: The turkey reference making you hungry, Bloo?
Bloo: Noooo....I think I ate too many delicious snacks. Must not....take....another....bite.
The Muppets and I had our Thanksgiving dinner that evening, gathering at a long, nicely decorated table inside the Happiness Hotel’s “Chow Room” (which, in actuality, was the basement). Everyone from Lew Zealand to Crazy Harry to Camilla (Gonzo’s beloved chicken girlfriend) was joined at the table, which had great side-dishes sitting across it. Kermit was sitting at one end of the table, while the fabulous Miss Piggy was sitting on the other. The only person missing from the table was Lori, who was still locked up quietly in her room.
Fozzie: I never knew the Happiness Hotel had a "chow room".
Gonzo: Well, we had to eat someplace.
Kermit: Just be glad it wasn't in one of the bathrooms. Yuck!
MW: For a second, I almost did have you guys eat there.
“TURKEY! TURKEY!” shouted Animal, who was pounding his hands against the table impatiently, while Sgt. Floyd Pepper desperately tried to calm him down.
“We’d better bring that bird in, before Animal eats the table!” He exclaimed, and it wasn’t long before the Swedish Chef came into the room with the cooked turkey sitting on a plate, speaking in his unusual Swedish dialect (which no one will understand in a million years). After the Swedish Chef set the turkey down on the table, Kermit stood up from his end of the table to give a speech; I could tell that he was still bothered over Lori, because the tone of his voice was just depressing.
Cast: Awwwww.
Kermit: I'd like to thank the Academy for this scene.
“I…I’d like to thank everyone for taking the time to come have Thanksgiving dinner here in the…uh…basement.” Kermit said.
“You mean the ‘Chow Room’!” Dr. Teeth corrected him.
“He had it right the first time, gold-mouth!” snapped Piggy, obviously angered by the fact that she had to spend Thanksgiving in such a foul area. “Why don’t you monkeys work-up a banquet room or someplace more suitable for a respectable feast?!”
“Because the monkeys own half of the rooms in the building.” said Pops (the landlord), and everyone, except for Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Piggy, and me, laughed heartily at Pops’ remark. The reason Piggy wasn’t laughing was because she was taking the whole dinner seriously; but Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, and I were just too distraught to laugh. After the laughter subsided, Kermit continued on with his speech.
MW: We can laugh about it now.
Cast: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
“Uh, yeah…it’s good for all us friends to be here on this Thanksgiving event.” said Kermit, and the others couldn’t help but to notice how depressed the frog was.
“Hey, Kermit, you’re looking so blue that you’re practically turning turquoise.” Rowlf stated. “It’s Thanksgiving. The time to be thankful that you’re alive, thankful that you’ve got a home to come to, and thankful that you’ve got friends to be with, whenever you’re feelin’ down.” When Rowlf mentioned about friends, Kermit fell deeper into his gloominess than Gonzo, Fozzie, or I did.
MW:*sarcastic* Nice timin'.
“Yeah…friends…” uttered Kermit, as he fell back into his seat and looked down at the ground, making everyone else wonder what was causing him to feel so low. To break the utter silence that had come into the room, I stood up from my seat (which was between Gonzo and Fozzie) and took Kermit’s place as speaker.
“Uh, I think it’s about time I said grace.” I stated, and everyone, including myself, bowed their heads respectively, as I said a word of prayer, “Lord, we thank thee for giving us the opportunity to be here together in the…Chow Room…” I heard Dr. Teeth snicker a bit when I uttered the name of the room, “And we also give thanks for allowing us to have a home where we all can be together forever, through thick and thin, no matter what.” Just the way I was expressing my words made me feel much more worried about Lori than I was for the past twenty-four hours. Before I was at the peak of despair myself, I brought my prayer to an abrupt end, “In the name of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ…Amen.”
Ron: HALLEJUAH!!!
Kim: Ron!!!
“Amen.” The others said, and as I sat back down, I saw how Kermit, Gonzo, and Fozzie were staring at me, knowing that if there was anyone who was more distraught than they were, it had to be me. The three of them looked away from me and back at the food simultaneously, and I did the same afterwards, while the Swedish Chef was muttering something in his native tongue. We all assumed that he was ready to carve the turkey, because he was holding up two large knives.
“Alright! Let’s live up to this room’s name and chow down!” shouted Rizzo, gleefully.
Gonzo: No matter what story he's in, Rizzo will always play the same character.
MW: He's a typical Lou Costello.
Gonzo: Who?
MW: Way before your time. Don't worry.
“Yeah!” yelled the others, and they were about to grab whatever they felt like munching down on, until there was a sudden loud booming sound that came from somewhere upstairs. The room shook a little, with grains of old dirt and brown dust falling from the ceiling and spreading all over good food.
Mac: Here comes some more action, Bloo!
Bloo: Ohhhh, no more. *walks off*
Mac: Wow. He must be REALLY sick if he's not in the mood for another action scene.
“What the heck?” uttered Kermit, as we all looked up at the ceiling and wondered what was happening in the Hotel.
“Those monkeys must have ‘Jungle Fever’.” Waldorf assumed.
“If I wanted to hear that much action, I’d watch the Discovery Channel.” Statler said.
“You old fool! Any action on the Playboy Channel is a thousand times better than the Discovery Channel.” Waldorf said.
“Can’t argue with you there.” remarked Statler, and the two old hecklers laughed, but they abruptly stopped when a rocketing noise was heard afterwards. It was then that we all wondered if it may’ve been the Green Goblin that was causing all of the commotion upstairs.
Mr. Herriman: Those old gentlemen sure a very unruly. Do they not have any maturity for their ages?
Frankie: This is Statler and Waldorf we're talking about here, Mr. H. They maturity flew out the window at age 30.
Mr. Herriman: So they're practically dirty old men.
Kermit: And they're going to be ones 'til they DEAD old men.
“You don’t think it’s him, do you?” Fozzie inquired.
“I wouldn’t be surprised, since it was me that was listening in on their conversation.” Gonzo indicated.
“But I thought you said that you didn’t take any photos?” Kermit queried.
“I didn’t.” Gonzo contradicted. “All I did was listen.”
“Then he must’ve been after a different photographer.” Kermit said. “And the only other photographer here is…” Before Kermit could’ve finished, we all realized that the only reason the Green Goblin would show up at the Happiness Hotel was because of Lori.
“My god!” I muttered, just before I jumped from the table and headed out of the basement.
Ron: I gotta hand it to you Muppets. You guys really know how to handle a dramatic scene.
Kermit: Oh, we've had practice during the filming of The Muppets Take Manhattan.
I took the elevator up through several floors in the building, until I finally reached the one where Lori’s room was located. As soon as I came out of the elevator, I dashed quickly over to her door and knocked on it hastily; my mind was racing with several thoughts of what might’ve happened in there. “Lori! Are you alright?” When she didn’t respond, I became more alarmed than ever. “Lori! Open the door!” While I was trying to get my sister to respond by banging on the door, Kermit had arrived at the scene, with Gonzo, Fozzie, and Rizzo following him.
Once I gave up trying to get a response from Lori, I decided to just kick down the door with all of my might; after I accomplished that, what Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, Rizzo, and I saw next had confirmed our worst fears. Lori’s entire room had been completely wiped out; the walls, floors, furniture, and everything else were gone, leaving nothing but a view of the night skyline. The corners of the doorway that I was standing in were engulfed in flames, symbolizing the Goblin’s damages.
Kermit: Sheesh. This scene was a lot more dramatic than I remember.
MW: And the description of how ravaged the room was just adds on to the drama of the scene itself.
Mac: Wow. Bloo sure is missing on a lot of action here.
“Whoa!” Rizzo exclaimed. “I think Robo-Kitty took his job a little too far.” That’s when Scooter had shown up next to us, and when he saw what happened to what was once Lori’s apartment, he was beyond shocked.
“Oh, my gosh!” Scooter shouted. “Who did this?!”
“Do the words ‘Green’ and ‘Goblin’ answer your question there?” Rizzo replied.
“The Green Goblin?” Scooter uttered. “Well that explains why he’s calling right now.” I looked over at Scooter with a startled look, at the same time he looked up at me. “And he’s wanting to talk to you, Sean.” My worries were continuing to increase, as I asked several questions in my mind that regarded to the Goblin’s sudden call. I gazed at Kermit, Gonzo, Fozzie, and Rizzo, who were equally as worried as I was at that moment; I then headed down to the lobby to talk with the Goblin himself through the phone. Once I got there, I mustered all of the courage I had in me and let the words come out of my mouth and into the receiver.
Kermit: Did we ever find out how he got the Hotel's number?
MW: Well, you guys ARE in the book.
Kermit: Oh, yeah. I almost forgot.
“This is Sean Thomas speaking.” I said, and the sound of the Goblin’s wicked voice through the phone sent chills down my spine.
“You journalists at the Daily Bugle think you’re on top of the world, just because you have photos of Spider-Man!” The Goblin stated. “Well, how does it feel now that I’ve got one of own kind with me?”
MW: Whoops.
Frankie: "One of own kind"?
MW: Simple mistake.
Cast: Yeeeeeeah.
MW: I'm just glad Bloo wasn't here to notice that.
I swallowed hard, feeling as nervous as I was when I came face-to-face with the Goblin at the World Unity Festival, and I attempted to negotiate with him for the sake of Lori.
“Listen,” I told him, “I realize that you are angered by what the papers have been saying about you, but you must understand that neither Miss Thomas or anyone else on the staff meant to desecrate your name in any way whatsoever.”
“I’m not mad that you people made me look like a terrorist.” The Goblin remarked. “I’m actually flattered by it.” I was somewhat relieved to hear him say that, knowing there might’ve been a chance for Lori after all; but that’s until he stated, “It’s how you’re trying to frame Spider-Man that just ticks me off to the point where I just feel like killing someone!” The relief in me had abruptly disappeared, as I was once again desperately negotiating for Lori’s life.
Cast: Uhhhh-ohhhhh.
“Please.” I said. “You can’t kill her.”
“And why not?” He asked, with a bit of tension in his voice.
“Because she’s no longer part of the Bugle staff.” I rejoined, not sure if it would convince him any. “She lost it trying to get our boss, Jonah Jameson, to understand that Spider-Man is not a criminal. If you kill her, then you’d be murdering someone that is on your side.” I heard the Goblin’s wicked cackle come through the receiver, and I knew that my excuses weren’t good enough for the monster.
“Do you really think I care whether Spider-Man’s innocent or not?” He said, which confused me a little.
“B-But just a second ago…” The tone in the Goblin’s voice had suddenly changed from calm to hostile, as he immediately cut me off.
“He refused! I gave him the opportunity of a lifetime to run this city at my side, and what does he do? He spits in my face!” He bellowed, and what he said next really boggled my mind, “Well, it just so happens that we know his secret now, and we will destroy him by striking his heart! First…it was his greatest supporter…second…it was his family…and soon…it will be his love!” And by the time I opened my mouth to ask him a question, I heard a dial tone over the receiver, meaning that the Goblin had hung up and left me quivering over the thought that my sister might’ve been either alive or dead.
END OF CHAPTER FIVE
Kim: Wow. What a chilling end to another MARVELOUS chapter.
MW: Yep. This is the point of the story where things take a pretty dangerous turn.
Bloo:*comes back* What did I miss?
Mac: Another great scene with the Green Goblin in it.
Bloo: WHAT?!?! Awww, mannnn! I'm beginning to hate my intestines!
Frankie: Ewww, Bloo! That did NOT sound right!
Mac: Don't worry, Bloo. According to MW, the final chapter's going to be one of the best.
Bloo: Yeah....right.