The Great Muppet Muffin Scandal of '72

[Smiles]

Okay well, I've been a muppet fan for a long time and I just discovered muppet fan fiction and thought I'd try my hand at it. Just wanted to say hi and to please avoid making a million posts that say "welcome" they kinda bug me lol hehe I love the smilies

So here goes it....

~Nicole (Smiles)​

 

[Smiles]

~*~Chapter 1~*~

​

Beauregard walked into a dark room, a single spotlight shining down on him. He stopped, nodded to the audience and said, "This is a story about potatoes."​

Kermit came in, another spotlight following him, and started consulting his script. "Beauregard, What are you doing? This story is about muffins!" he said.

"Well Kermit, I’m narrating this story about potatoes, " Beauregard answered

"Sigh. First of all, I’m narrating this story and second of all this story has nothing to do with potatoes! It’s about muffins! And muppets! That’s why It’s called the Great Muppet Muffin Scandal of ’72! Do you see anything about potatoes in that title?"

Beauregard pondered over this question for a moment. "Yes," he finally answered.

Kermit just stared at him. "It’s about muffins, " he said.

"Potatoes"

"Muffins"

"Potatoes"

Kermit threw his arms up into the air. "Beauregard, would you just leave and let me start this story?"

Beauregard shrugged; "Okay," he said. Kermits eyes followed him as he walked out the door.

"Sheesh," Kermit said as he hopped up onto a stool and made himself comfortable. "Well this story takes place on the Island of Kokomo…"

The room lit up and a band started playing
"Aruba, Jamaica, oh I wanna take ya
To Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama
Keylargo, Monteago baby why don’t we go
Down to Kokomo
We’ll get there fast and then we’ll-"

All of a sudden, there was a loud obnoxious banging on the door.
"Could you wait a minute guys?" Kermit asked as he walked over and opened the door.

"Hey, Kermit," Floyd said as he and the rest of the Electric Mayhem walked into the room. "Look we don’t want to offend your band choice or anything but…."

"You need someone rully awesome for your opening number," Janice cut in.

"And the people aren’t going to dig just anyone you got off the street," Lips added as the band simultaneously glanced over at the band that had previously been playing.

"And we ARE the resident musical celebrities around here, and who better to sing a song about the island than US?" asked Dr. Teeth.

"So we were kinda thinkin we should sing the opening number," Floyd finished up. Kermit began to decline Floyd’s offer when the lead singer of the other band stood up.

"Well I don’t know about the frog here," he said, "But you’ve definitely convinced us your cause." He and his band packed up their things and began to leave. "By the way we expect to be paid in full," he quickly said as he shut the door. Kermit slapped his hand to his head.

" I can’t believe you guys just kicked out The Beach Boys," Kermit said.

"The who?"

"We just kicked out The Who?"

"No, The Beach Boys"

"The who?"

"We just kicked out The Who?"

"THE WHO! THE WHO!"

"The what?"

"Nothing Zoot go back to sleep"

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Good Grief! You know what? Just go a head and sing your song." He said as he walked out of the room.

"Okay guys, I told you this would work," Floyd said smugly.

" 1! 2! 1234
This is the Island of Kokomo
Where the fishes swim and the coconuts grow
Don’t you know that sun shines all day
And the people here are happy to say-"

"Look Floyd, this songs pretty bad," Dr. Teeth cut in and the others nodded, "It’s pretty lame, its pretty square, its pretty-"

"Okay," Floyd exclaimed then calmly said, "chill man. I know another song."

"1. 2. 3. 4.
Aruba, Jamaica, oh I wanna take ya…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

"In the middle of the Island of Kokomo, is the castle of the Queen of the Island of Kokomo," Kermit said as he walked into an elegant, towering castle and started to give himself a tour. "There are many things for which this castle could be called great," Kermit said standing in front of what seems to be a giant safe, " but by far the most stunning attribute is this, the pride and joy of the queen, the muffin vault. Oh look, here comes the queen now!"

"What a lovely morning on the Island called Kokomo," Miss Piggy said as she walked down the staircase in a long, flowing, purple evening gown. "I think I’ll head down to the muffin vault. Oh Kermie! Don’t I look beautiful?" She asked, twirling her dress.

"Piggy, you can’t talk to me, I’m the narrator," he told her, "Pretend I’m not here." Piggy pouted. "You look lovely," he said quietly. She smiled and walked into the muffin vault.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

[TogetherAgain]

<laughs hysterically>

OH MY GOSH THIS IS AWESOME! I haven't stopped laughing since I started reading it. It's hysterical! I love it! It's just... this is awesome, this is absolutely awesome... Hey did I mention that it's awesome? First off, you score MAJOR points by writing a story about the Muppets and MUFFINS (yippee!) here on MC- in case you haven't noticed, or just haven't been around enough yet to see, we have this thing with Muffins that... well see no one's really sure how it started, but... <scratches head> I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I think you'll figure it out pretty quick. It's sort of an inside joke... which is actually part of why I love the exchange between Beauregard and Kermit at the beginning about whether the story is about Muffins or Potatoes, because my youth group has an inside joke about potatoes, so... Yeah, in my mind it was the clash of the inside jokes. Muppets win!

Sorry I'm not usually quite this random/insane... I mean I'm usually insane, just not to this extreme... My point is, I LOVE THIS STORY! And I want more. And you will get used to me asking for more, I assure you... I tend to do so very frequently...

 

[theprawncracker]

Wha ha ha!! This is awesome!!!! I thank you for sharing this with us!! It's soooooo hillarious!! I love it!! Cannot wait for more!!!

 

[ReneeLouvier]

XD!!! This is absolutely CUTE!! I love it so much!!!

 

[tutter_fan]

Yikes! (Starts laughing manically) Man! This story is really funny so far!

 

[Smiles]

Hey thanks everybody I'm glad you liked it.

You all have an inside joke about MUFFINS on here? NO WAY! That is so awsome! Finally! Some people I can relate to!

I've been reading some of the fan fics on here and its taking me forever to catch up to the parts that were recently updated but they're FABULOUS, I can tell I'm going to need to start spending alot more time on here

~Nicole ​

 

[Smiles]

~*~ CHAPTER 2~*~​

Kermit walked down the streets of the island. "The news of what had happened spread quickly throughout the Island," he said as he bought an apple from a fruit stand.​

"Clifford, Bean Bunny did you hear the news? Half of the queen’s muffins have been stolen!" Rowlf shared the news to all that would listen.

"Aww gee, that’s terrible," said Bean Bunny

"I know the pig’s gonna be even more difficult to deal with than usual," added Clifford shaking his head then thought, "hey wait a minute why only half?" Rowlf shrugged.

"Bean hopped around the Island, eager to share the news with someone who had not yet heard," Kermit said tossing the apple around.

"Excuse me get motion sickness," the apple said angrily.

"Uh, sorry," Kermit said as he set the apple back down on the fruit stand. Bean continued to hop around looking for someone until he came upon Beauregard. "Hey wait a minute Bean-"

"Hey Beauregard did you here about the Queens muffins?" Bean asked

"Oh its such a shame about the Queens missing potatoes," Beauregard said as he absent-mindedly walked off. Bean titled his head and looked from Beauregard to Kermit.

"Um Bean," Kermit said, "There’s a "specific" person you’re supposed to share the news with, remember?"

"Oh Yeah!" exclaimed Bean as he promptly hopped over to Pepe, "Hey Pepe did you hear that half of the Queens muffin were stolen?"

"Oh no, okay. I bet it was the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker. Scoundrels, okay," Pepe replied and went to go find Johnny and Sal. "Hey did jou hear? The Queens muffins have been stolen okay," he told them.

Sal took Pepe to the side, "Uh Pepe, We," he said pointing to the three of them, "stole those muffins."

Pepe laughed. "Oh si, I remember this," he paused, "but why only half?"

"They wouldn’t fit," Johnny said, annoyed, "that’s the last time I take a shrimps car."

"I am not a shrimp," Pepe said in his own defense, "I am king prawn okay."

"Hey if Johnny Fiamma says you’re a shrimp, you’re a shrimp. OKAY?" Sal told him.

"But don’t worry guys," Johnny said not paying attention to either of them, "tomorrow, we’re taking the pick-up."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

Kermit looked up at the television monitors covering the walls. "Meanwhile," he said, "The Queen was in her surveillance room, trying to figure out what in her security system had gone wrong."

"Where could they be?" Miss Piggy said with her arm crossed and tapping her foot. Right on cue the door opened. "Where have you two been?" she exclaimed, "You’re my security guards! You’re supposed to be… securing things!"

Gonzo and Rizzo looked at each other. "Getting Chinese," Rizzo said skeptically.

"WHAT," shouted Miss Piggy, "My security guards couldn’t stop a robbery because they were getting Chinese?!?! I oughta HIIIIYY-"

"Wait Piggy," Gonzo said, "we brought you egg rolls." Piggy eyed the egg rolls.

"Okay your off the hook this time," she said grabbing the egg rolls. "But from now on you better stay HERE!" she said and walked out the door; then stopped; and walked back in again. "And that’s Queen Piggy to you Buzzard Beak," she said and slammed the door.

Rizzo looked up at Gonzo. "What?" Gonzo asked.

"I wanted those egg rolls," he said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

"PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! Can’t you just tell Moi?" Piggy pleaded.

"No Piggy! I can’t tell you who took the muffins! I’m the narrator! It would ruin the story!" Kermit told her.

Piggy pouted. "I just can’t believe someone would do this to Moi."

 

[theprawncracker]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LAUGH!!! I LOVE!!! THIS IS SO AWESOME!!!

Gonzo and Rizzo's scene with Piggy was simply amazing!! I hug it!! More please!!

 

[Smiles]

~*~CHAPTER 3~*~​

"Yet again, news was spreading all over the island," said Kermit.

"Hey Bean, Clifford, I heard that the criminals are planning to steal the rest of the muffins tomorrow," said Rowlf.

"Oh that’s too bad," said Bean Bunny, "Hey, do you know who the criminals are?"

"I don’t know," Rowlf shrugged.

"Well, do you know if the Queen’s taking any extra precautions?" Bean asked again.

"I don’t know that either," Rowlf stated.

"Than how do you know about the robbery?" Clifford questioned him.

"Easy," Rowlf explained, " I get my gossip from the narrator."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

"Meanwhile, back at the castle, Fozzie, the policebear of the island, was investigating the case.

"I’m the policebear on this island," Fozzie began.

"Fozzie, I already said that," Kermit said scrunching up his face.

"I know Kermit," Fozzie said matter-of-factly, "As I was saying, I’m the policebear on this island and don’t you worry cause I’m on the job. I will not leave this castle until this muffin scandal is solved!"

"At least someone understands that concept," Piggy said thinking of her security guards.

"Hey while we’re on the subject of muffins, wanna hear a joke?" Fozzie asked.

"Not really," Piggy mumbled.

"OK well there were two muffins in the oven," Fozzie said, "a blueberry muffin, and a chocolate chip muffin. The Blueberry muffin said, ‘Gee its hot in here.’ And the chocolate chip muffin said, ‘AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!’" Kermit and Piggy stared at him in silence.

"I don’t get it," said Kermit.

"Yeah, don’t ALL muffins talk?" said Piggy.

"You mean your muffins that were stolen TALKED?!?" Fozzie gaped, astonished.

"Yeah a lot," said Piggy, " Why do you think I locked them up in a sound proof vault?"

Fozzie paused than said, "Speaking of the vault, what added security are you planning on? You know for the second robbery tomorrow."

"SECOND ROBBERY TOMORROW!" Piggy screamed.

"Yeah," said Fozzie, "the whole island is talking about it."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Piggy began screaming.

"Piggy calm down," Kermit said as the pig continued to scream.

"Listen, its okay, I even have an idea," Fozzie told her. Piggy continued screaming and finally karate chopped both of them.

She took a deep breath, " Okay. What was your idea?’

"Well," said Fozzie wearily, "We could hire guards to sit right front of the vault, who could get past that?"

"Okay lets hire some guards," Piggy agreed. Scooter and Beauregard popped into the room.

"I’ll take the day shift," said Scooter.

"I’ll take the night shift," said Beauregard.

"All right then, that was easy," said Piggy and Kermit walked up to her.

"Are you really going to hire Beauregard?" Kermit asked.

"Well Kermie," Piggy said, "It’s hard to find good help on this island."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~​

In the surveillance room, Gonzo had two cannons set-up at either end and he was shooting himself from cannon to cannon while juggling various round objects.

"What do you think of my new act Rizzo?" Gonzo asked. Rizzo watched his friend fly back and forth.

"I think you need to trade me that watermelon for…" Rizzo looked around, " This Magic 8 Ball." They made the switch.

"Hey! ‘ Yes’," said Gonzo reading the Magic 8 Ball whilst he juggled, " Yes, this is a good idea. Do you think it adds depth to my performance? ‘All signs point to yes.’ You’re a genius Rizzo! ‘Ask again later.’ Well I guess we’ll find that out later Rizzo."

"Yeah, sure," Rizzo said, now half way submerged inside the watermelon he was devouring. The door opened.

"Hey what are you guys doing in here?" Fozzie asked.

"Staying in this room," Gonzo said.

"We’re the security guards," Rizzo explained.

"Ohhh. Hey, wanna hear a joke?," Fozzie asked, "There were two muffins in the oven. One was blueberry and one was chocolate chip. The blueberry muffin said, ‘Gee its hot in here.’ And the chocolate chip muffin said-"

"AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN," Gonzo and Rizzo finished.

"You already heard that one?" Fozzie asked, disappointed.

"Haven’t you heard?," said Rizzo, "Word spreads quickly on this island."