Hey hey, Mupps! Guess what time it is?
STORY TIME!
And here, I'm giving you the conclusion to our Miss Piggy Mupp Adventure. Count Ed of Eddington, you can put this in the big list of stuff! Here - Kermit comes home and Piggy exercises her favors.
Epilogue
Saturday
It was Saturday morning and Kermit should have been catching up on his sleep.
Newly arrived back in town, his first instinct was just to crawl in bed next to the pig that was already there and just sleep until Sunday. That probably would have worked if not for Kermit’s internal clock, which reminded him that it was the day time and nothing could be wasted, even if he was dead tired; his body did seem to cry out for a nap though and that’s exactly what the frog planned to do once he had his lunch.
So instead of sleeping the morning away like he wanted, Kermit had tiptoed into his house around seven in the morning, dropped his bags at the front door and started his normal morning ritual. He was pretty sure the smell of coffee would bring the pig forth, so he sat at the table and waited, enjoying the morning paper he had picked up while he and Fozzie had stopped for breakfast at the airport.
As much as Kermit loved visiting his family, sometimes it was great to be home. The whole reason for the surprise trip was two show tapings the two had done and it just seemed better to just stay with his family on the way back instead of spending anymore money on hotels. It wasn’t to say the Muppets were hurting for money, because they certainly weren’t, but old habits tended to die hard, especially for the frugal frog and bear.
And seeing his family, while great, came with a few downsides – it had been rumored, but it was apparently official, that Kermit’s younger brother and his wife had split up. It came as a surprise as they didn’t have any type of martial breakups in the family and certainly the person he worried most was his nephew.
Robin had always held a special place in his heart and being the youngest member of their troupe, he had certainly grown to love everyone he had been surrounded with. The decision for him to stop that life and live in Leland was a product of his mother’s insistence that he be educated and education did not have room for the types of shenanigans the Muppets could get up to.
It had been Kermit’s hope that, once the boy got older, his mother and father would allow the budding teen to head back out to Hollywood, but it looked like that wouldn’t be the case.
It was a sad state of affairs that Kermit didn’t really want to discuss, but yet couldn’t get off his mind.
He was hoping Piggy’s little party the night before would be just the thing that could take his mind off the issues with his brother and nephew or that maybe his girlfriend could come up with other ways to make him forget this particular trip.
Right on cue, the diva ambled into the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee that was percolating on the countertop. “Mornin’ sweet pea.”
Startled, Piggy gave an audible gasp before blurry eyes rested on the form of her frog, sitting at their dining table. “Kermie!” she cooed. “You’ve returned!”
“I have indeed.”
“When did you get here?”
Looking at the clock on the microwave, he said, “About thirty minutes ago. Had thought about sleeping, but…” He shrugged.
“You were up and decided to stay up?” she asked, knowingly.
“Pretty much.”
Holding up a finger in order to not only pour herself a cup of coffee, but to enjoy the first few sips before continuing their conversation, Piggy savored the warmth – tinged with sweetness from the teaspoon of sugar she had added – and let the magic of the caffeine enter her system and start cranking up the burners. “And how is everyone down Leland way? Did they ask about me?”
“They did indeed,” he smirked.
Ever since hearing about his romantic entanglements with the diva and of course, meeting her for the first time, his family had just adored her. Every time he was down visiting, the questions of when Piggy would be coming back always popped up, from adults and kids alike, although the children always wanted Kermit’s friends to visit.
In the past, he had tried to minimize the amount of attention his mentioning Piggy always received, but ever since the group’s break up, he found he didn’t mind it as much anymore; in fact, he openly enjoyed the fact that his family loved Piggy as much as he did.
“They, of course, are wondering when you will grace them with your presence once more.
“Really?” she asked, a bit of blush showing her face. “That’s sweet.”
While Kermit had been trying to fend off questions about their relationship, Piggy had been pedal to the metal on announcing it to anyone who would listen; but there was a difference between speaking about relationships to friends and colleagues versus speaking about them with family, especially when being introduced to said significant other’s family. Piggy had been terrified that first time meeting Kermit’s parents, convinced he had written her off as that crazy dame that was always jumping him from behind.
So imagine her surprise when the elder frogs had welcomed her with open arms, stating how much they had heard about her – all good, thankfully! – and even his many siblings, in-laws, nieces, nephews, and cousins had been quite eager to meet her and she had left happy in the knowledge that Kermit wasn’t painting her as an insane cast mate to his family, but as a legitimate girlfriend. That had pretty sealed the deal on her end.
“How was the party?”
“The what now?” The change in topics and the still earliness of the morning derailed her current thoughts and it took her a moment to even realize what he was talking about. “Oh. Oh! The…from the…oh, I…I didn’t go.”
“Oh?”
“No,” she responded, blowing out a breath as though the party had been beneath her. “Instead, Rowlf, Janice, and Moi went to Schotsky’s and we were there for several hours. You can even call them and corroborate it.”
Kermit looked at her in surprise. “Why would I need to call and corroborate with Schotsky’s?”
“I don’t know, Kermit,” Piggy said. “Why would you? Why would you even suggest such a thing?”
“I didn’t suggest it,” Kermit insisted. “You did.”
“What?” Piggy asked, stunned that Kermit would even suggest such a thing. “Why would I want you to corroborate with Schotsky’s?”
“I don’t know!”
“Well,” she responded. “That was rather silly of you, don’t you think?”
“I didn’t suggest it!” Kermit exclaimed, feeling that one vein in his head about to pop. Pointing angrily at her, he started with, “You…” before calming down. “Are doing this on purpose.” Muttering and turning back to his paper, Piggy could hear him say, “Most couples welcome each other home. ‘How was your trip?’ or ‘I missed you’. We argue. And like most of our arguments, I have no idea what we’re arguing about.”
Piggy did feel badly about that; after all, he certainly didn’t know about the party or that it practically went up in smoke for everyone involved and if she was lucky, he’d never find out about that party or the fact that she was even there. Taking pity on him, she made him a fresh cup of coffee, bringing it to the table and delivering it, along with a kiss to the top of his head.
“How was your trip?” she asked, sweetly. “I missed you.”
Rolling his eyes at her obviously fake sincerity, he grumbled, “You exasperate me.”
“Aw Kermie,” she cooed. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me. You do care.”
“I don’t care,” he stated, continuing his morning read. “Just used to you is all. Hey, have you seen this?”
“Seen what?”
Pointing at a side story in the paper, Kermit said, “This story about some party that got out of hand. Caused a fire, some guy had a heart attack, and apparently Neil Patrick Harris was there, dressed as a woman.”
“Huh,” Piggy said, looking over his shoulder. “That looks pretty close to that party I was going to go to, but didn’t because I was with Rowlf and Janice. Moi would have heard about it of course, if I hadn’t been with Rowlf and Janice. At Schotsky’s. For several hours. Did I mention that?”
“Yes, you have,” Kermit said. Turning to look at her, he added, “Several times now.”
“Oh,” she said, shrugging slightly. Standing straight, she announced, “Well, I’m off.”
“That would be my assessment.”
That earned him a swat on the back of his head. “Ow!”
“That’s for the cheek.”
“Oh I’ll show you cheek,” he threatened, watching as she retreated down the hall.
“Promises, promises.”
Turning back to his paper, Kermit continued reading the very odd, yet engrossing story of a party that went completely out of control. He was probably sure there was something up with Piggy, that at the moment he never once considered that the two were related.
At least not until Neil Patrick Harris guest hosted one night.
Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
A singing skele-gram?
Now that's dog humor.
