The corny joke thread

[Winslow Leach]

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk says he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "how in the world do you know I'm a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says, "that's not a TV--it's a microwave!"

 

[Winslow Leach]

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a boat.

The driver turns to her friend and says, "you know, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

The other blonde replies, "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her!"

 

[Winslow Leach]

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and say, "I think I might have written that!"

 

[Winslow Leach]

I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one. It wasn't doing what I was doing.

 

[Winslow Leach]

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

 

[Pork]

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

 

[Winslow Leach]

A circus owner walked into a shop to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed, he offered to buy the duck from its owner.

After some wheelin' and dealin', they settled on $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later, the circus owner runs back to the shop in anger. "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"

"Hmmmm..." thought the duck's former owner. "Did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

 

[Pork]

George's mother has three Children, there names are April, May and...?

what is the name of the third Child?

 

[Skye]

George

.... or maybe Pablo.

 

[Colbynfriends]

George's mother has three Children, there names are April, May and...?

what is the name of the third Child?

George? thats a good one.