The Cheapest Muppet Central Forum Awards of All-Time!

[theprawncracker]

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and frogs and dogs and rats and pigs and chickens. And... penguins, bears, Grouches, Fraggles, monsters, and whatevers too! Welcome to The Sixth Somewhat-Annual Muppet Central Forum Awards Ceremony!

Now, I know most of you who have attended one of these awards ceremonies before are used to extravagance, special guest stars, and an all-around good time. Unfortunately, we won't be having any of that tonight. Due to massive budget cuts from the studio, we weren't allocated nearly as much funding as we usually are. But the studio didn't tell us this until after we had blown our entire budget securing copyright legalities for the longest award show title name in history. Which, as you can see, is why I'm doing the awards in my pajamas this year instead of my usual tuxedo.

Fret not, however! For we're still bound and determined to present you, the adoring public, with a show. We still have awards designed by the one and only Dave Hulteen, Jr. (our own Vic Romano). Thank goodness he's a starving artist and we already hired the caterer... We've also managed to wrangle one special guest star to present our final award of the evening: The Muppet Central Forum Lifetime Achievement Award! (It's here where we would usually have "Oohs" and "Ahhs" but we couldn't afford the sound machine.)

But getting to the good stuff... the first award of the evening would normally be presented by a Muppet, but they no longer work cheap now that they're apparently "big stars" in the Mouse House. So here live and in-person to present our first award is the one and only... ME! YAAAAAY!

Thank you, thank you! Oh, you're too kind. Way, WAY too kind...

*ahem* Anyhow! The first award of tonight's show is the coveted Funniest Forum Member of 2009. Yes, we have many, many funny people on Muppet Central. Many of them in 2009. (We couldn't afford to hire joke writers.) Here are the top five funniest members of 2009 based on your votes!

theprawncracker
dwmckim
Beauregard
WhiteRabbit
ZeppoAndFriends

Huh. I got nominated? Well you know we couldn't have paid off the voters since we don't have any money. How do I know the winner? They didn't even give me an envelope? Oh! Right. I wrote it on my arm. And the winner is...

BEAUREGARD

This is Beauregard's first win of the evening. He is nominated in 47 other categories. This is Beauregard's fifth MC Award in the Funniest Member category (seriously!). The only person to ever beat him was theprawncracker last year. (And he rubs it in constantly.)

 

[Oscarfan]

*takes seat*

Now, what do I do with it?

 

[Beauregard]

*sitting on a small cardboard box at a larger cardboard box topped with a table cloth with a bottle of $ .49 champagne* What! Oh! What! Oh! WHAT!...*box collapses* OW!...*ahem* *collects self off the floor and totters towards the stage to collect award wearing what can only be described as a desperate cry for attention, a six-foot high wig and the rest of my body covered in a few choicely placed doilies and bits of lace (much like that worn by Lady Gaga to the Brits)*

Hmm...Guess you couldn't afford to get steps from the audience to the stage, huh? It's okay. I can stand down here. Gosh, it's rather chilly though. Okay.

Thank you SO much to everyone who voted for me this year. 2009 was a weird year for me, personally, but turned out to be a GREAT year for the Muppets! It's so much fun to be involved with MC during these exciting times and I'm glad to have, at some stage (not this stage, obviously, because we have no steps) but at some stage to have entertained you all. Thanks so much! I love you all!

*totters away from the stage to find a robe*

 

[PurpleHonker]

I made it! *exclaimed as she tries to sneak inconspicuously to her seat*

 

[TogetherAgain]

<comes in and sits on a cardboard box next to the stage> <box breaks> <...sits on the floor> Oh, for goodness SAKE, Beau! <shields eyes> There have GOT to be laws against that...

 

[theprawncracker]

...For the record, the Muppet Central Forum Awards do not in anyway condone... whatever THAT was that Mr. Beauregard just did. Wait... we're not officially sponsored by Phillip Chapman, so who cares? We condone whatever THAT was, whatever YOU are, and... well, whatever I am.

Hey! Oscarfan, don't take the seats! We have to pay for whatever we break. Unfortunately most of us are already cracked so the bills are rising.

Anyway, here I am again to reluctantly present the second award. This is the long sought after and often indignant Most Prominent Member award. This award goes to the member that you think was most often spotted through the Muppet Central Forum in 2009. (Most likely because said member was on the run from the feds.)

But enough about me... the top five Most Prominent Members of 2009 as chosen by your votes are...

Drtooth
frogboy4
minor muppetz
D'Snowth
The Count

And the winner, written between two freckles on my arm, is...

DRTOOTH

This is Drtooth's first win for Most Prominent Member--and probably the first time he won for being prominent in 2009, but we can't be sure. Drtooth has been a member since... well, at least since 2009.

 

[Beauregard]

*returns to cardboard seat*

*claps*

*collapse*

 

[Gelfling Girl]

*claps for Beau and DrTooth*

 

[TogetherAgain]

Written... between two freckles?

...Waaaaaait a second. If the winners are written on your ARM, how do you know you're reading the right winner for the right award?

And how do we know you wrote stuff on your arm based on the votes, and not your own whims?

HOW do we know you didn't just choose the winners at random out of a HAT?

...Oh. You can't afford a hat.

 

[theprawncracker]

Oh! Good! A heckler. We couldn't afford to hire any, so thank you for compensating for us.

Onto the third award! The Most Underrated Member award. These are members who aren't hard to find, but are also somewhat new to the forums. These members provide quality posts without flash and pizazz or desired recognition. So now to give them some much-needed recognition and suddenly make them less underrated, thus making this the most oxymoronic award of the show, here are your top five Most Underrated Members of 2009:

unclematt
Luke
ZeppoAndFriends
Oscarfan
APRena

And the winner, who was NOT chosen out of a hat (it was a very well-crafted urn, thank you) is...

APRENA

This APRena's first Muppet Central Forum Award. She has only been a member since September 2009, but already she's making waves throughout the forum. Now we have to buy a mop to clean up the water from said waves...