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She'll Make Me Happy


Well-Known Member
Oct 27, 2011
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Oh my glob!
You frog!
You pig!
Driving me to crazyness!

More please!


Well-Known Member
Mar 18, 2012
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Hooray an update, but ooh how frustrating! They both need to come to their senses and kiss and make up already!!! Dang their emotions for getting in the way. Ooh it's torture seeing them like this but such good writing.

Please post more soon and put me out of my misery!!! We need happy endings here, :wink:
Hehe... But this wouldn't be a very good story if everything was settled right away, now would it? :wink: Mwhahahaha! I am quite the evil one... New chapter to come very soon!!


Well-Known Member
Oct 24, 2003
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Oooh! Hopefully, Kermit in a hot tub of water = one hotblooded amphibian! I'm glad to see they can't get their minds off each other! (Now if we could just make that their hands...er, gloves and flippers.)

Good job, usagimonster! (Oh--I got a little giggle out of Piggy "preying" and not "praying.")


Well-Known Member
Mar 18, 2012
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Oooh! Hopefully, Kermit in a hot tub of water = one hotblooded amphibian! I'm glad to see they can't get their minds off each other! (Now if we could just make that their hands...er, gloves and flippers.)

Good job, usagimonster! (Oh--I got a little giggle out of Piggy "preying" and not "praying.")
Oh geez I can't believe I did that!! I didn't even notice! All well, I think everyone knew what I meant. Thanks reviewing Miss Ru! I'm glad you're enjoying it!!!


Well-Known Member
Mar 18, 2012
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Kermit entered the dark kitchen and turned on the light. As soon as he could see, he looked to the clock on the wall. 3:25 in the morning. He let out an defeated sigh. If he didn’t rest soon, Miss Piggy would be up long before he was. He had to find a way to get some sleep.

He looked around at the large, unused kitchen. Everything was dusty from years of neglect, with cobwebs still hanging in some areas. He walked past the marble countertop and opened a nearby cupboard, remembering there was a bottle of red wine in here somewhere that had long been forgotten about... ah ha!

He grabbed the dark-colored wine bottle, still half full from whenever he opened it last. He blew off the light layer of dust on the label. Barossa Valley Shiraz. Originally imported from Australia, and no doubt very expensive.

Good thing I didn’t pay for it, he thought with a grin, remembering that Piggy had stalked the house with many assortments of food and drink before she left for Paris.

He grabbed the nearest wine glass he could find and then made his way to the living room. Sitting on the green and gold striped couch, he pored himself a glass and took a quick sniff and a light sip, hoping that it had aged well over the years.

It had. The subtle, musky flavor of aged grapes was a very welcoming taste. Kermit sighed with satisfaction. He could already feel the alcohol soothing his nerves, and he was beginning to relax at last. A glass of this and he should be ready for sleep in no time.

He took a few more sips and looked at the room around him. The last time he was here, his new friends Gary, Mary, and Walter had just revealed to him Tex Richman’s secret plan to drill for oil, and only moments later they had all made the decision to find everyone and do what it took to save their beloved studio and theater.

Kermit looked down at the table in front of him. There was an unfinished game of solitaire still sitting there. He set the glass down as he started to remember where he had left the game off a while back. He began to move a few of the cards, trying to see if there was a way to finally finish it while he waited for sleep to take over. Maybe it would be a good distraction for him, too.

He played the game for a short while, but then he pulled up the Queen of Hearts, and soon found himself thinking about Piggy all over again. He grunted with frustration. The wine was not taking the effect he quite wanted it to. He still wasn’t tired yet. His irritatingly troubled thoughts were still keeping him wide awake. He tried a few more sips, then shook his head in disappointment, knowing it was no good.

Why had he invited Piggy to stay in this house with him? All she had done since she arrived in town was distract him. What was he going to do with her here? He wanted nothing more than to make things right... so how was having her here to tempt him making anything better?

Kermit had forgotten about the card game by now. His mind began to focus more on how the day would start off tomorrow. Would he wake up to find her in the kitchen eating breakfast? Or would she sleep the whole day through? Would she greet him with a wide smile when she saw him? Or... would she avoid his gaze just like she had done several times that evening?

He almost began to dread the morning. Even though his entire career... no, his entire life was built on the unexpected, he absolutely hated surprises. He wished he could see exactly what was going through her head. Earlier that evening she had agreed to stay here for him, and she seemed quite eager to work on their relationship, but he also knew that she may be having several doubts. This was a big change for them both after all, so how could he expect her to just be okay with everything all at once? She did seem somewhat doubtful that evening. She was very quiet and distant, needing her space.

What if she changed her mind tomorrow and realized that what he had done to her in the past was unforgivable, no matter what he tried to say or do? If that were the case, he knew he wouldn’t be able blame her. After all, the last time they had spoken before this week was when he had caused her to run out of his office in tears, leading to many years of emptiness and heartache.

No... not that, Kermit pleaded in his head. Please not now...

But it was too late. The painful memory was impossible to ignore.

Kermit had been sitting alone in his office that quiet morning. Scooter had already left on an early lunch hour to take care of some personal business, so Kermit had some time to himself for a while. He looked over the ideas he had passed around with his colleagues, wondering what exciting project he and the other Muppets would work on next.

He heard a car drive up outside. He assumed it was Scooter, but then realized it was far too early for him to be back yet. Kermit then heard the sound of the car’s door open an close, and heels quickly rushing up to he door.

Oh no...

“Kermie!” Piggy cheered as she swung his office door open. She waved a black and white picture at him. “Our first photo as a married couple!”

Kermit dropped his head to his desk. After they did the wedding for The Muppets Take Manhattan, she had been teasing him constantly over the past few weeks about how they were now married. But he had been through this with her over and over again. The wedding was just a scene they filmed for the movie.

“Piggy, we’re not really married!” he reminded her. “You need a real priest to be…”

But then he stopped, and it all suddenly came clear to him as he put two and two together. Originally, Gonzo had been cast as the priest, but Piggy had hired some other guy to play the part. And that other guy wasn’t an actor. He was a real priest! So he had really married them in front of everyone and on screen for the world to see.

“Oh, no,” he said with fear. “You didn’t?”

“I’m so happy,” Piggy carried on talking as though she couldn’t hear him. “Let’s share our joy with ten of the world’s leading publications!”

She grabbed her husband and threw open the office door to a pack of paparazzi and flashbulbs popping everywhere.

“Kermit!” one shouted. “How does it feel to be married?”

The confused and scared frog tried to block his vision from the flashing lights. Piggy just smiled, thrilled by all the attention.

“Kermit!” bellowed another reporter. “Are you going to move into the house Piggy has built for you?”

Kermit quickly closed the door on them.

“Piggy!” he yelled. “I thought the wedding was just part of the movie?”

The pig paused and frowned. “But aren’t you happy?”

“You’re supposed to ask someone before you marry them! Not trick them!” Kermit was getting mad. Madder than a frog should ever get. “Why must you always pull stunts like this, Piggy?! This is the last straw!”

“Oh, Kermie.” Piggy smiled and sighed happily. “Our first argument as a married couple.”

The frog had taken all he could take, and he could take no more.

“Piggy you are fired!” he shouted. “Fired, fired, fired!”

Piggy gasped. “You can’t replace me.”

“Watch me,” Kermit replied.

“But I’m your wife!” Piggy was shocked by his words.

“You’re NOT my wife!” Kermit shouted, panting. “You’ll never, ever, ever be my wife!”

Piggy gasped and fell silent. She stared at Kermit. Kermit stared back at her. He was stunned by the words that had just come from his mouth. As a tear trickled down Piggy’s cheek, she quickly held up the photo from their faux wedding and tore it in two. Before the frog could say another word, she turned on her heels and flounced out of the office.

“Piggy, wait, I-” he tried to call to her. He knew he’d gone too far, been too harsh, and it was too late. She was gone.

Kermit recalled the memory and almost couldn’t take it. That was the moment that had started this painful mess. He clenched his robe over his chest, trying to force the memory away.

It’s alright, he helplessly tried to reassure himself. Everything is okay now...

Yes, it was wonderful that the gang was back together again, but he still couldn’t help but feel responsible for bringing so much grief on everyone. Especially her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered out loud, dropping his head in his other hand. How could he ever forgive himself for everything that’s happened?

I shouldn’t have had that wine, he thought to himself with regret.

He tried to hold back the tears and clenched his robe tighter. His heart felt like it would soon explode. He felt alone and lost, and he didn’t know what to do. In fact, he was so lost in his train of thought, he didn’t even hear the soft footsteps coming from the hallway.


An all too familiar voice was addressing him and he immediately looked up to see the beautiful lady pig standing in the entryway, looking to him with concerned eyes.

“Piggy?” he asked, startled. He immediately sat up straight at being in her presence.

“What on Earth are you doing up?” she asked with confusion.

Kermit didn’t answer. He was too stunned by the fact that she was actually here at this time of night. He noticed her hair was now down, probably from taking the shower earlier. Her figure was wrapped tightly in her pink laced robe with white fluffy trim outlining the cuffs and the opening of the robe. Only Miss Piggy could pull off a robe like that anymore, and even Kermit couldn’t deny that she looked absolutely...

“Gorgeous,” he said under his breath just as she was approaching him.

“What?” she asked.

“I, uh, couldn’t sleep,” he replied, finding his words. “Piggy, what are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep either. I heard you come downstairs... and I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Oh, well I’m fine, I was just... uh...” Kermit looked at the unfinished solitaire game, wine bottle and wine glass that rested on the table. He didn’t know how to finish that statement.

Piggy followed his gaze. “Is that wine?” she asked.

“Yeah... I thought it might help me sleep better.”

Piggy gently took the glass in her hand. “May I?”

“Sure, please...” Kermit offered, although a little hesitant.

Piggy took a quick sip, and Kermit watched her expression, curious as to what she thought of the aged drink. She did nothing but ponder for a few seconds, but then her face frowned.

“Kermit, what is this stuff?!”

Kermit scrunched his face at her reaction. “It’s Shiraz.”

“It tastes awful! Where did you get this?!”

“From you. You left it here, don’t you remember?”

Piggy’s looked at the wine label and her face suddenly changed from disgusted to surprised. “Oh... Are you kidding me?! In Paris they wouldn’t have settled for anything as distasteful as this!”

Kermit shook his head, remembering that Piggy had been spending years in a country that produced some of the best wine known to man. There she went again, always needing the upper hand.

“I’m sure you had your fill over in France, didn’t you?” Kermit asked mockingly.

“You better believe it, buster” Piggy said with confidence. “But, I suppose this will do for now.”

Piggy took the wine bottle and began to pour a new glass. Kermit watched and hesitantly thought of stopping her. Letting her drink wine at this time of the night, in her state of mind, was probably not the best idea in the world. But he said nothing. Even in her tired state, he knew it was not wise to object to the high and mighty pig. She soon finished poring the wine and set the bottle on the table.

“Do you want to sit down?” Kermit offered.

“Oh, yes, thank you,” Piggy said sweetly, quick to change her mood as usual.

Kermit moved over so that Piggy was now sitting just left of him. As soon as she settled herself on the couch, she took another silent sip from the glass.

Kermit watched her she finish and turn away to look around the room, avoiding his gaze. He couldn’t help but notice that she looked undoubtedly beautiful sitting next to him. Maybe it was the wine talking, but he couldn’t deny that had it been a more appropriate time, he would have loved to take her in his arms and kiss her sweetly, and whisper comforting things in her ear.

Yes, that would be wonderful.

“So neither of us can sleep, huh?” Kermit asked, breaking the silence.

“I noticed you haven’t changed much,” Piggy said, not listening to his first statement.

“I haven’t?” Kermit was confused.

“Well, the furniture and the interior decorating, I mean.” She was talking about the house.

“Oh, that. Well, I guess I thought if I changed anything, eventually you’d come back and you’d... ya know, ‘hi-ya’ me or something.”

Piggy shrugged. “You could have changed the furniture if you wanted.”

Kermit nodded, not knowing how to respond. Piggy noticed he wasn’t saying anything and turned to him with questionable eyes.

“Kermit, are you sure you’re alright?” she asked boldly.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” He forced a smile for her.

“Earlier, you said good night so quickly, I thought maybe something was wrong?”

Kermit thought about the attempted kiss. “No! No, of course not, I just thought you were tired, that’s all!”

“Well yes, I was, but...” she was hesitant, not sure that she should continue. “I thought maybe you had left because I...”

She became quiet, and Kermit saw in her eyes that she was thinking exactly what he was. He shortly stared into those deep blue eyes, resisting several urges that he had been pondering all night. He embarrassingly looked away, knowing he did not deserve to look at something as radiant her.

Piggy noticed his nervous withdrawal, and immediately touched a gentle, gloved hand to rest on his shoulder.


He responded to her in silence, resting his own hand over hers’.

“Oh Kermie, I didn’t mean to make you upset,” Piggy explained. “I promise it wasn’t-”

She was silenced when he gently pushed her hand away, much to her dismay.

“Piggy... I’ve really missed you a lot,” Kermit said admittedly. “I’m honestly still trying to grasp the fact that you’re really here...”

The awkward tension in the room was bombarding its’ way between them.

“You and I both know we have a lot to talk about,” he continued. “I was just thinking it may be best that we keep our distance for a while. I mean, just until we know we’re okay, right?”

Piggy was somewhat hurt by this statement, but she reluctantly held back, knowing that she had to do her part to make things right, too. “Yes, of course. I think that would be best.”

Kermit turned back to her and nodded. “Well... We’re both awake now,” he said with a warm smile. “Why don’t we just sit and talk for a while, okay?”

Piggy felt surprisingly comforted by this. “Yes. I’d like that.”

“Just until we’re ready to finally get some sleep?”

Piggy took one more sip of the wine before giving him a warm smile of her own. “Yes. Let’s talk.”


Well-Known Member
Mar 24, 2012
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*sigh* It's wonderful stories like this that are slowly turning me into a Kermit/Piggy fan. And honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about that. :stick_out_tongue: But like I said, this is wonderful, and I'm enjoying it very much. Keep up the good work!


Well-Known Member
Oct 24, 2003
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*Sigh* I had high hopes that a tipsy, lonely Kermit might actually break down and plant a smooth on his lady pig, or at least throw his skinny little arms around her and tell her she's swell. Come ON, Kermit--you had it together in the theater--get it together on the homefront! Any frog who can't score in the middle of the night with his favorite girl beside him on his own couch and in her bathroom obviously needs to brush up on his dating skills.

Hang in there, Piggy--he'll get around to saying or doing something romantic before 2015....

More, please, and not just quantitatively!