Follow That Bird villains return and cool cameos.
Chapter Two
Twenty-one years could seem like an eternity for a man in prison, and scheming con artists like the Sleaze Brothers could vouch for that sensation, as the two had spent that much time in prison for stealing an apple from a boy. They were lucky enough to be sent to same prison, because the gullible Sid Sleaze wouldn’t last a week in one of the most maximum security prisons in the United States. While the brothers were in imprisonment, Sam often tried to come up with a “brilliant” plan to get them out; but his plans failed miserably, leaving them to do cruel chores like cleaning up toilets and nasty scum at the bottom of pots and pans in the kitchen hall.
Just when it seemed as if things couldn’t get any worse for the brothers, they realized that the end of their sentence had arrived and were released from prison. Their eyes were sore from the sun’s glare, which they hadn’t seen for twenty-one long years, as they stepped outside for the first time in years. They breathe in the fresh air, only to choke on it afterwards; these boys had gotten so use to polluted air that clean air seemed bad for their lungs.
“Well, Sammy, it looks like we’re startin’ all over again.” Sid said, and he shook his brother’s hand. “I’ll be seein’ ya around, pal.” Sid was about to walk away, until Sam grabbed him by his left arm and held him back.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doin’?!” Sam exclaimed, and Sid seemed a little confused.
“Don’t you remember?” Sid said. “Before we got out, you and I agreed to go our separate ways, so I figured that you want to go your way, while I go mine.”
“You idiot!” Sam yelled, in frustration. “I was mad at the time I said that, because I got caught sneaking food out of the kitchen and had to clean toilets, while you were sitting comfortably back in the cell!”
“Oh, so that explains that white line you drew up in the center of the cell.” Sid uttered. “All this time I thought you were trying to use the entire cell to draw one big picture.”
“Can we stop talking about prison? We’re out now, so let’s drop all that talk!” Sam demanded. “Let’s talk about how we’re going to get our revenge on that kid that put us in here.”
“The apple kid?” said a confused Sid.
“No!” Sam retorted. “The
other kid! The one with all of those ‘special’ powers?”
“Oh, the
Superboy!” Sid exclaimed, and he got a little nervous. “Well, I’ve got news for ya, Sammy…that Superboy is now a Super
man.”
“Yeah…so?” Sam said, and when he put two and two together, he got nervous himself. “Oh…I see your point.” For a moment, it seemed as if Sam Sleaze wasn’t the great schemer that he used to be, coming up with several ideas in less than two seconds. But that’s when an idea (which he thought was magnificent) struck him. “Hey! I remember reading something a few days ago in the
Planet about Lex Luthor, one of the greatest criminal masterminds in the world, being released from prison tomorrow.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” Sid said, getting even more nervous. “We just got out of prison. Working with a guy like Luthor could get us back in.”
“Luthor is a genius, brother.” Sam said. “He’s got more brains than even me!”
“He’s been thrown into jail twice.” Sid contradicted. “Once for stealing and using a nuclear missile, and again for working with three evil villains from the planet Krypton, in an attempt to take over the world.”
“But with us by his side, he doesn’t have to worry about hitting that third strike.” Sam said, and he started whispering to Sid as he looked back and noticed a guard standing by the main gate, which they began walking away from. “Listen, Luthor was locked away in a prison cell in Metropolis, where that big yellow bird we once used for our carnival lives with the rest of the ‘Sesame Saps’. That bird was a good friend of Superman’s, and if we kidnap him again, and this time we’ll do it more subtle, then Superman will have no choice but to crawl out of the cave that he’s been hiding in and save his old friend.”
“But where does Luthor play into all of this?” Sid asked.
“We’ll be giving that bald freak the greatest reason of all for hiring us to be his personal henchmen!” Sam exclaimed, and Sid shook his head, frowning.
“I’m really not comfortable with this idea.” Sid said. “I think we’re better off going back into the carnival business.”
“No one will ever come back to our funfair after our reputation’s been bruised.” Sam remarked.
“Well, can’t we just put some ice on our reputation’s bruises and try to get things back the way they were?” Sid asked, and Sam was very annoyed.
“Listen, you chicken out on this great opportunity now, I’ll tell that guard there that you were the one that drew a mustache on the warden’s portrait.” Sam threatened, and Sid was a little surprised that he knew about that, considering that he was alone in the room when he drew that mustache…or so he thought.
“Alright! Alright!” Sid exclaimed. “I’ll do it.”
“Good.” Sam said, with a wicked grin. “Now all we have to do is get our old truck back from the junkyard that those cops threw it into, and we’ll be on our way to Metropolis in no time.” As Sam walked away from the prison gates with his brother, who he had his arm around in false brotherly affection, Sid seemed very unconfident about the scheme that his brother cooked up. He was really looking forward to starting a new life after their prison time; but with a sibling like Sam Sleaze, that was impossible to achieve.
-----------------
“Hi-ho, this is Kermit the Frog reporting on the Channel Seven morning news.” Kermit said, on a live broadcast that was airing throughout Metropolis that bright sunny morning. “Yes, it’s a beautiful day today, and little do some people know, it’s the fourth anniversary of the disappearance of our beloved hero, the almighty Man of Steel himself, Superman.” Some of the Metropolis citizens switched their channels at that point in the broadcast; but others were still tuning in. “Now the folks here on Channel Seven realize how much of a hot-buttoned issue Superman’s disappearance is nowadays, but we figured that since it is the fourth anniversary after all, we might as well interview the city’s residents, as well as those from the city of Gotham.”
That’s when a montage of images started appearing on the screen; they were images of citizens in Metropolis that Kermit had interviewed over the week. The first one was of an eleven-year-old Chinese girl named Juniper Lee; she was a bit of a superhero herself, though she never revealed that secret information to Kermit or anyone else on the air. She had been given the responsibility of being a Te Xuan Ze, maintaining the balance between the human and magic worlds. Because of this, she was magically enhanced, being stronger and faster than ordinary human beings.
“Miss Lee, how do you feel about the disappearance of our city’s greatest hero?” Kermit asked, while off camera.
“Well, to everyone in Metropolis, Superman is the greatest hero ever.” Juniper stated. “But, to me, he’s just a guy who flies around in his underwear and a cape. I mean, I appreciate the guy for doing what he does for the city; but, seriously, why must his outfit consists of just red underwear and a cape? What, he can’t find the time to shop at
JcPenny’s?!”
“Uh, you’re neglecting the question, Miss Lee.” Kermit said. “I asked for your opinion on Superman’s disappearance, not his outfit.”
“Oh, well, as for his disappearance goes, I guess it doesn’t matter to me where he went off to.” Juniper remarked.
“But without Superman here, who do you think will protect us from harm?” Kermit queried, and Juniper stopped as if she was thinking of a good reply; but her Te Xuan Ze abilities had actually kicked in that moment, as she was listening to her enchanted dog, Monroe, talking to her. For Juniper Lee, Monroe was speaking actual words with a Scottish accent, because she could see through the barrier separating human and magic worlds. For Kermit, the cameraman, and the viewers at home, Monroe was just barking at Juniper like a regular dog would. “Uh, does your dog need to go stand by a fire hydrant or something?”
“Um…no.” Juniper said, trying not to reveal her Te Xuan Ze heritage on television. “I…I just think there are more heroes out there that are far more greater than the Man of Steel himself.”
“Like who?” Kermit asked, and Juniper seemed to be getting a bit nervous.
“Well…the fire department and the police…I mean, they’re the
real heroes.” Juniper said, as Monroe angrily barked at her. “T-They’re not as powerful as Superman; but you can bet that they’ll never leave us like he did.” She then slapped her forehead and groaned slightly, wondering if it was smart to make that last comment. The angry Monroe started “barking” at the camera, screaming obscenities that the folks at home could never understand, unless they had connections with the Te Xuan Ze.
The image of Monroe was quickly switched off and replaced with an image of Bruce Wayne, the billionaire industrialist and philanthropist that lived in Gotham City; as a child, he witnessed the murder of his parents. Little did the people of Gotham or Metropolis knew, that incident in his childhood brought him to train himself to the peak of physical and intellectual perfection, don a costume, and fight crime (as the hero known as “Batman”).
“Mr. Wayne, it’s obvious enough that you don’t live in Metropolis,” Kermit said, “But Gotham City has a hero that’s very different from Superman.”
“Yes, the Batman.” Bruce said, with a small grin on his face.
“Do you believe Gotham would riot in the streets if Batman were to disappear from the city?” Kermit asked, and even the amphibian reporter couldn’t believe how excellent that question was.
“Well, what reason would Batman have to leave the city?” Bruce said. “I think he has the same dedication to Gotham that Superman has to Metropolis, though they both may differ in their ways of fighting for justice. People say that the Man of Steel just hung up his cape and took his ball home; but if you remember in that interview he had with Lois Lane, you’d realize that his original home was destroyed years ago…this planet of ours is his
only home.”
“Then why do you think he disappeared?” Kermit inquired.
“Probably to see if those old traces of his home world that were supposedly left behind are actually there.” Bruce replied. “I realize that it’s been three years since he’s been gone, but do you realize how far it is between Earth and Krypton?”
“Yeah, it’s like billions of light years from here.” Kermit said.
“Kermit, I really think the citizens of Metropolis and people all around the world should still give Superman a chance.” Bruce stated. “They say that they’ve been able to live without him for all these years, but I don’t believe that’s true. There’s no way you can live without Superman, Metropolis’s greatest savior.”
“Well, unfortunately, our city has learned to do just that, Mr. Wayne.” Kermit said.
“For the sake of the city, I hope they’ll learn to forgive him for disappearing.” Bruce remarked, just before his image switched to that of three different figures: a blonde, nose-less girl with an acerbic attitude, an evil personality, and knowledge of the supernatural, who went by the name of Mandy; an extremely happy-go-lucky child with an I.Q. of –5, a pink oversized nose, a blue and white striped shirt, and red hair that was covered by a red hat, whose name was Billy; and the Grim Reaper, the personification of Death, who spoke with a Jamaican accent.
“Well, uh…” Kermit uttered, seeming a little nervous on camera, as he interviewed the three residents of the darkest part of Gotham City. “I didn’t think you three had anything to say; but our producers thought it would be a good idea for the citizens to hear your comments about…”
“Superman?” Mandy interjected, and she scoffed at the name. “I’d rather eat an uncooked calamari than to talk about that clown.”
“You wanna talk about clowns, Mandy, talk about that weirdo goin’ around all over da place and callin’ himself ‘The Joker’.” Grim said. “Just the other day, I found his ‘calling card’ on the front doorstep of Billy’s house.”
“At first, I thought it was one of the cards that my dad had lost on one of his poker nights,” Billy said, “But then I remembered that my dad doesn’t play poker and that my mama plays bridge with her friends.”
“And you think your mother lost the joker card from her bridge game?” Kermit asked, and Billy seemed confused, which was pretty much normal in his case.
“My mama doesn’t play bridge; she hates playing cards!” Billy exclaimed. “Why can’t you reporters ever gets anything right?! That’s why the world’s so mad nowadays, because you twerps gots everyone thinkin’ that there’s WMV’s in Japan!” Before Billy could say anything else, Mandy slapped him across the face, causing his eyes, nose, and mouth to end up on the back of his head.
“Shut up, Billy.” She said, before turning her attention back to Kermit. “Listen, frog, I wouldn’t care less about that moron with the red cape. He symbolizes everything that’s bad about Metropolis and the rest of the world. He’s always positive, he never shuts up, and he always playing that stupid ‘boy scout’ role. I don’t believe in superheroes. Of course, I can make an exception with Batman, because he doesn’t seem like a superhero to me. He seems like the type of guy that just doesn’t give a crap about life and kicks butt just to kick butt. And if he were to challenge Superman to a fight, I’d think he would win.”
“Uh…right.” Kermit said, feeling a little uncomfortable with Mandy’s remarks. “Well, um, do you have anything to add about his disappearance?”
“Superman’s gone?!?!” Billy exclaimed.
“He’s been gone for three years now.” Kermit said, and Billy let out a horrifying shriek, as his eyes, nose, and mouth returned back to the front part of his head.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?!” He yelled.
“Because no one in the Gotham cares about Superman being gone.” Mandy told Billy. “Personally, I hope he stays up there in the cold, dark regions of space. They say that kryptonite is his weakness; but I say that three years in space ought to freeze the life out of him.”
“Believe me, Mandy, if Supes were dead, I’d be the first to know about it.” Grim said, and a wicked grin crept across his skeletal face. “And ya better believe that the day Superman dies, I’ll be known to the rest of da underworld as the reaper that claimed his soul!!” He let out a wicked cackle, with flames appearing behind him; but his wicked moment was literally cut short, as Mandy took his scythe and sliced his body in half.
“Keep on dreamin’, Grim.” She said, and Grim frowned, as the image of Gotham’s darkest characters switched back to the present-day image of Kermit in Metropolis.
“Boy, I tell ya, if there’s ever a tornado or flood in Gotham that forces the citizens there to move to Metropolis, remind me to stay away from those last characters that I’d interviewed.” Kermit said. “Unfortunately, we can’t show all of the people that I interviewed over the week in this short segment of the show. But be sure to tune in tomorrow, as our story on the anniversary of Superman’s disappearance from Earth continues. Back to you, Chevy!”
END OF CHAPTER TWO