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Beauregard
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Some of you guys have been asking to read "Who Framed Kermit the Frog" now aptly named "Muppets Vs Las Vegas," so we figured that we could put up a couple of scene which you can or cannot read depending on your own personal taste in reading (or something)
These scenens occur after Kermit is in jail for counterfeiting, and when his friends believe he is lying because a rooster in the Rubber-Chicken factory said that Kermit had been there, and Kermit said that he hadn't.
Annnyway...this is when Rizzo and Gonzo go to talk to him....
_____
Scene 30
CUT TO
EXT. JAIL- GATE
GONZO and RIZZO, dressed in Sherlock Holmes detective outfits, stand on the outside of the gate trying to get in.
RIZZO
Why do I have to wear this dumb thing anyhow?
GONZO
It’s reminiscent of Sherlock Holmes’ outfit as described in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic detective novels.
RIZZO
Sherlock Shmerlock! We’re trying to break into prison, not play dress-up!
GONZO
So, dressing this way makes it a bit classier! It gives it that daring yet stylish look.
RIZZO
Why don’t we just rip a tag off of a pillow or some petty crime to go to jail?
GONZO
Rizzo, this is a family program! We have to consider that there’s at least one kid in the audience!
Both look at the camera.
RIZZO
Oh, sorry. Wait a minute! Hang on here! What’s the dif? Breaking into jail’s just as illegal as ripping a tag off a mattress, so where’s the example being set?
GONZO
It’s the thought behind the crime. Right. So, let’s go!
RIZZO
Oh, yeah. So, why exactly are we doing this?
GONZO
Rizzo, you heard what that rooster guy.
RIZZO
Oh, I didn't think you could hear him off in la-la land over there! Let's just go.
They walk over to the gate. By the gate is a couple of trash cans, GONZO and RIZZO start to climb these to go over the gate. The camera closes in on the lid of the trashcan and GONZO climbs onto of it.
OSCAR(V.O)
Hey! What's goin' on out there?
OSCAR opens trash can lid, sending GONZO over backward.
GONZO
Whoa!
OSCAR
Hey, what's the big idea? Your making a lot of noise and it's dark and dingy down there!
RIZZO
Yeah? So?
OSCAR
Nothing! I love it! He he he!
GONZO
(brushes himself off)
Hey, what are you doing here anyway?
OSCAR
What am I doin' here? Are you kidding me? Las Vegas is the largest trash capital in the world!
RIZZO
On no, the trash capital is Buffalo, NY, you ding bat!
OSCAR
Oh, yeah. I went there last year. They got some rotten stuff!
GONZO
Yeah, nasty.
OSCAR
(defensive)
It's great! All dingu and grimy. Anyway, just check out all the great stuff I got around here hangin' out at the casinos! Let's see here...
OSCAR goes rummaging through his can. He pulls out a wig.
OSCAR
Check this out! I even got Wayne Newton's hairpiece! Then this here is...
GONZO
Er, I don't mean to be rude-
RIZZO
I do!
GONZO
(ignoring Rizzo)
But, uh, we're kinda doing a movie here.
OSCAR
Oh! Oh, I see! Well, excuse me for livin', needle nose! I guess I ain't good enough to be in your crumby movie!
RIZZO
If it's a crumby movie, does that mean you like it?
OSCAR
What?? You're wasting my invaluable time! Yuck!
OSCAR slams the lid shut.
RIZZO
Oh well what’s up with him?
GONZO
Probably has garbage in his trousers.
RIZZO
Sounds bad.
GONZO
No it’s great, I did it one year...
RIZZO
(interrupting)
Come on buddy.
RIZZO pushes open the gate and walks through, while GONZO goes over the electric fence. We here and see a few electric shocks, and hear a few yelps from GONZO. He drops down on the other side all burnt up.
GONZO
Whoa! That was fantastic! Come on, Rizzo! Give me a boost so I can do it again!
RIZZO just shakes his head and continues on his way.
CUT TO
Scene 31
INT. JAIL CELL
KERMIT sits looking up at the sky out the window like all is lost. FOZZIE is asleep on the bed in the background.
KERMIT
So much for comfort in friends. Look at me. What kind of friend am I? I go into this mess, and dragged my best friend into this.
(Ther is a song here, but we've cut it for the sake of MC)
KERMIT shakes his head when he hears something at the window. It’s GONZO.
GONZO
Psst! Hey! Hey, Kermit! Kermit!
KERMIT
Er, Gonzo? What are you doing?
GONZO
About seven watts! Ha ha ha ha!
KERMIT
Er, beg pardon?
GONZO
It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. We’re trying to get you out of here!
KERMIT
Well, that’s just great, Gonzo!
GONZO
That is why they call me the Great Gonzo.
KERMIT
Er, but there is one thing about that chicken factory-
GUARD (V.O.)
Hey! You! What are you doing here?
GONZO
Uh-oh! Yikes!
GONZO falls from the window ledge. All that can be heard are the sounds of GONZO being chased around by the GUARD.
GUARD (V.O.)
Get back here, you!
GONZO (V.O.)
You’ll never take me alive! Ha ha ha ha ha! Oooh! Hey! That tickles! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
GUARD (V.O.)
Great! We’ve got a weirdo on our hands.
KERMIT
Oh boy.
_____
Well, don't blame me...You didn't have to read it...
Bea
regard
These scenens occur after Kermit is in jail for counterfeiting, and when his friends believe he is lying because a rooster in the Rubber-Chicken factory said that Kermit had been there, and Kermit said that he hadn't.
Annnyway...this is when Rizzo and Gonzo go to talk to him....
_____
Scene 30
CUT TO
EXT. JAIL- GATE
GONZO and RIZZO, dressed in Sherlock Holmes detective outfits, stand on the outside of the gate trying to get in.
RIZZO
Why do I have to wear this dumb thing anyhow?
GONZO
It’s reminiscent of Sherlock Holmes’ outfit as described in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic detective novels.
RIZZO
Sherlock Shmerlock! We’re trying to break into prison, not play dress-up!
GONZO
So, dressing this way makes it a bit classier! It gives it that daring yet stylish look.
RIZZO
Why don’t we just rip a tag off of a pillow or some petty crime to go to jail?
GONZO
Rizzo, this is a family program! We have to consider that there’s at least one kid in the audience!
Both look at the camera.
RIZZO
Oh, sorry. Wait a minute! Hang on here! What’s the dif? Breaking into jail’s just as illegal as ripping a tag off a mattress, so where’s the example being set?
GONZO
It’s the thought behind the crime. Right. So, let’s go!
RIZZO
Oh, yeah. So, why exactly are we doing this?
GONZO
Rizzo, you heard what that rooster guy.
RIZZO
Oh, I didn't think you could hear him off in la-la land over there! Let's just go.
They walk over to the gate. By the gate is a couple of trash cans, GONZO and RIZZO start to climb these to go over the gate. The camera closes in on the lid of the trashcan and GONZO climbs onto of it.
OSCAR(V.O)
Hey! What's goin' on out there?
OSCAR opens trash can lid, sending GONZO over backward.
GONZO
Whoa!
OSCAR
Hey, what's the big idea? Your making a lot of noise and it's dark and dingy down there!
RIZZO
Yeah? So?
OSCAR
Nothing! I love it! He he he!
GONZO
(brushes himself off)
Hey, what are you doing here anyway?
OSCAR
What am I doin' here? Are you kidding me? Las Vegas is the largest trash capital in the world!
RIZZO
On no, the trash capital is Buffalo, NY, you ding bat!
OSCAR
Oh, yeah. I went there last year. They got some rotten stuff!
GONZO
Yeah, nasty.
OSCAR
(defensive)
It's great! All dingu and grimy. Anyway, just check out all the great stuff I got around here hangin' out at the casinos! Let's see here...
OSCAR goes rummaging through his can. He pulls out a wig.
OSCAR
Check this out! I even got Wayne Newton's hairpiece! Then this here is...
GONZO
Er, I don't mean to be rude-
RIZZO
I do!
GONZO
(ignoring Rizzo)
But, uh, we're kinda doing a movie here.
OSCAR
Oh! Oh, I see! Well, excuse me for livin', needle nose! I guess I ain't good enough to be in your crumby movie!
RIZZO
If it's a crumby movie, does that mean you like it?
OSCAR
What?? You're wasting my invaluable time! Yuck!
OSCAR slams the lid shut.
RIZZO
Oh well what’s up with him?
GONZO
Probably has garbage in his trousers.
RIZZO
Sounds bad.
GONZO
No it’s great, I did it one year...
RIZZO
(interrupting)
Come on buddy.
RIZZO pushes open the gate and walks through, while GONZO goes over the electric fence. We here and see a few electric shocks, and hear a few yelps from GONZO. He drops down on the other side all burnt up.
GONZO
Whoa! That was fantastic! Come on, Rizzo! Give me a boost so I can do it again!
RIZZO just shakes his head and continues on his way.
CUT TO
Scene 31
INT. JAIL CELL
KERMIT sits looking up at the sky out the window like all is lost. FOZZIE is asleep on the bed in the background.
KERMIT
So much for comfort in friends. Look at me. What kind of friend am I? I go into this mess, and dragged my best friend into this.
(Ther is a song here, but we've cut it for the sake of MC)
KERMIT shakes his head when he hears something at the window. It’s GONZO.
GONZO
Psst! Hey! Hey, Kermit! Kermit!
KERMIT
Er, Gonzo? What are you doing?
GONZO
About seven watts! Ha ha ha ha!
KERMIT
Er, beg pardon?
GONZO
It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. We’re trying to get you out of here!
KERMIT
Well, that’s just great, Gonzo!
GONZO
That is why they call me the Great Gonzo.
KERMIT
Er, but there is one thing about that chicken factory-
GUARD (V.O.)
Hey! You! What are you doing here?
GONZO
Uh-oh! Yikes!
GONZO falls from the window ledge. All that can be heard are the sounds of GONZO being chased around by the GUARD.
GUARD (V.O.)
Get back here, you!
GONZO (V.O.)
You’ll never take me alive! Ha ha ha ha ha! Oooh! Hey! That tickles! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
GUARD (V.O.)
Great! We’ve got a weirdo on our hands.
KERMIT
Oh boy.
_____
Well, don't blame me...You didn't have to read it...
Bea
regard
