Leyla
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It seems to be the custom here to open a new thread for each individual story, so I'll just leap right in. In addition to my other story, I'd like to tackle a series of one shots based on what might have happened while the Muppets were filming their movies. It seems to be established that the movies are the Muppets acting, even if they are acting as themselves, so I thought it would be fun to see what happens when the directors say cut. At his point, I don't think there will any connectivity between these stories, but we'll see where they take me. I intended to start this after finishing my other story, but I couldn't resist anymore.
You should be able to figure out when this particular scene takes place, but if it's unclear, let me know. Thanks!
The Annulment (Part one of two)
The Annulment
“And that’s a wrap for today! Great take, just great. Okay, call is for 7AM tomorrow, except for you, Miss Piggy. Wardrobe wants to do some alterations to the waitress uniform, so please be here by six.”
“Ah, the many burdens of being an international superstar.” Piggy chirped merrily as she brushed a bit of white lace from her radiant face.
Kermit had never contemplated murder before, but it had an attraction in this moment that he’d never thought possible.
The source of his vexation was positively glowing. “Six in the morning. Well, that doesn’t leave much time for a honeymoon, does it?”
The frog squeezed his eyes shut and focused on breathing lest temptation get the better of him. He was too near to apocalyptic meltdown to articulate his thoughts in a civil manner at that moment.
“Great job today, Kermit, really convincing performance!” Jim Henson gave the frog a hearty slap on the back and moved on just as Fozzie and Gonzo approached.
“Was it a performance, Kermit?” Fozzie asked, uncertainty written all over his honest face.
A playful smile crept over Gonzo’s lips. “Or should we be congratulating you for something else?”
Kermit slowly turned his head towards his closest friends and leveled a glare at them that made them both step back involuntarily.
“Uh oh.”
“Yeah, uh, maybe we should just get out of your hair for now… er, not that you have hair, but if you did, uh… see ya, Kermit, see ya, Piggy!”
Before Gonzo had taken a single step, a wiry green arm darted out and snagged hold of him.
Breathe in, breath out, breathe in… that’s good. Now talk like a gentlefrog…
“Tell me one thing, Gonzo.”
“Anything, buddy… uh, Kermit, sir.” Fozzie buried his head in his hat.
“Was I…” His voice cracked and he swallowed and tried again. “Was I wrong in thinking you were going to play the minister?”
“Well, I was going to, but then Piggy said that- Oooohhh.” Kermit almost, almost smiled at the comical dismay in the tux’ed Whatever’s eyes as his brain caught up with his mouth. Gonzo turned a shocked look at Piggy, who was absolutely, relentlessly ecstatic, and not intimidated in the least at being found out.
“Thank you, that’s all I wanted to know.” Kermit was impressed with how calmly that came out. Granted a reprieve, Fozzie and Gonzo departed, breaking several laws of physics in the process. A butterfly flapped its wings and in China golf-ball sized hail began pelting the ground.
Kermit closed his eyes and breathed again. It felt like the right thing to do. He tilted his head up to look at Miss Piggy, who had, technically, just become Mrs. The Frog.
Darn it! How could she just stand there smiling at him like that! Outrageous!
“I love you, Kermie.” She crooned, bubbling over with saccharine, but genuine sentiment.
The words that jumped immediately to his lips were interrupted by a sudden conglomeration of happy well-wishers, some cheering their great acting, others wondering about where the reception would be held.
“Aw, I just knew you two were meant for each other. What a great way to do it, too. So, how long have you crazy lovebirds been planning this?”
Kermit made a strangled sound and Piggy gracefully intervened. “Oh, it was a spur of the moment decision. A real surprise all around.”
“Oh, well, that’s great, just great. Congrats!”
A few more handshakes and they were left alone again.
“Piggy, how could you-?” Before he had a chance to get properly hysterical, they were interrupted yet again.
“Oh, hello. I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed being a part of such a sacred moment.”
Kermit stared up at the kindly Vicar in mixed horror and disbelief.
“Well, Kermie and I were just so happy you could come. You sang very well. It was a lovely service, wasn’t it Kermie?”
“Words fail me.” He took an unsteady breath. “So, um, you’ve been, er ordained, and everything? Papers all in order, legal in this city, that sort of thing?”
“Heheh, yes, well, of course. You have nothing to worry about on that score.” He made a quick gesture, blessing them. “I wish all happiness for the both of you as you start your new lives together. Remember, as long as you rely on each other, troubles will never overcome you.”
Piggy looked so enraptured that Kermit snuck a quick glance to see if her feet were actually touching the ground. “We’ll remember, thank you so much.”
Another pastoral smile and the man was gone.
Kermit had had enough of interruptions. With a strength that surprised both of them, he dragged Piggy off the set and into his trailer, trying desperately not to hear the catcalls that followed them, trying in vain not to see Piggy’s impish acknowledgements of the attention.
Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not kill.
He pushed her down on the couch, not actually generating enough force to do it, but Piggy was apparently contented enough to comply. She folded her hands daintily on her lap, and looked into his eyes with naked adoration, the very picture of a happy bride.
My bride… My wife! Oh, geez….
“I… you! What…? So… Who-? I! You!” He threw up his arms in exasperation and started pacing frantically. Piggy would have raised her eyebrows if she’d only had them. Instead, she gazed at him innocently, giving no hint of what was going on behind those striking eyes.
“What do you have to say for yourself?!” There. Finally, he’d managed a lucid sentence.
She smiled brightly at him, looking as though she felt that was unwise, but unable to control herself. “It’s been a very, very good day… for moi’s self.”
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You should be able to figure out when this particular scene takes place, but if it's unclear, let me know. Thanks!
The Annulment (Part one of two)
The Annulment
“And that’s a wrap for today! Great take, just great. Okay, call is for 7AM tomorrow, except for you, Miss Piggy. Wardrobe wants to do some alterations to the waitress uniform, so please be here by six.”
“Ah, the many burdens of being an international superstar.” Piggy chirped merrily as she brushed a bit of white lace from her radiant face.
Kermit had never contemplated murder before, but it had an attraction in this moment that he’d never thought possible.
The source of his vexation was positively glowing. “Six in the morning. Well, that doesn’t leave much time for a honeymoon, does it?”
The frog squeezed his eyes shut and focused on breathing lest temptation get the better of him. He was too near to apocalyptic meltdown to articulate his thoughts in a civil manner at that moment.
“Great job today, Kermit, really convincing performance!” Jim Henson gave the frog a hearty slap on the back and moved on just as Fozzie and Gonzo approached.
“Was it a performance, Kermit?” Fozzie asked, uncertainty written all over his honest face.
A playful smile crept over Gonzo’s lips. “Or should we be congratulating you for something else?”
Kermit slowly turned his head towards his closest friends and leveled a glare at them that made them both step back involuntarily.
“Uh oh.”
“Yeah, uh, maybe we should just get out of your hair for now… er, not that you have hair, but if you did, uh… see ya, Kermit, see ya, Piggy!”
Before Gonzo had taken a single step, a wiry green arm darted out and snagged hold of him.
Breathe in, breath out, breathe in… that’s good. Now talk like a gentlefrog…
“Tell me one thing, Gonzo.”
“Anything, buddy… uh, Kermit, sir.” Fozzie buried his head in his hat.
“Was I…” His voice cracked and he swallowed and tried again. “Was I wrong in thinking you were going to play the minister?”
“Well, I was going to, but then Piggy said that- Oooohhh.” Kermit almost, almost smiled at the comical dismay in the tux’ed Whatever’s eyes as his brain caught up with his mouth. Gonzo turned a shocked look at Piggy, who was absolutely, relentlessly ecstatic, and not intimidated in the least at being found out.
“Thank you, that’s all I wanted to know.” Kermit was impressed with how calmly that came out. Granted a reprieve, Fozzie and Gonzo departed, breaking several laws of physics in the process. A butterfly flapped its wings and in China golf-ball sized hail began pelting the ground.
Kermit closed his eyes and breathed again. It felt like the right thing to do. He tilted his head up to look at Miss Piggy, who had, technically, just become Mrs. The Frog.
Darn it! How could she just stand there smiling at him like that! Outrageous!
“I love you, Kermie.” She crooned, bubbling over with saccharine, but genuine sentiment.
The words that jumped immediately to his lips were interrupted by a sudden conglomeration of happy well-wishers, some cheering their great acting, others wondering about where the reception would be held.
“Aw, I just knew you two were meant for each other. What a great way to do it, too. So, how long have you crazy lovebirds been planning this?”
Kermit made a strangled sound and Piggy gracefully intervened. “Oh, it was a spur of the moment decision. A real surprise all around.”
“Oh, well, that’s great, just great. Congrats!”
A few more handshakes and they were left alone again.
“Piggy, how could you-?” Before he had a chance to get properly hysterical, they were interrupted yet again.
“Oh, hello. I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed being a part of such a sacred moment.”
Kermit stared up at the kindly Vicar in mixed horror and disbelief.
“Well, Kermie and I were just so happy you could come. You sang very well. It was a lovely service, wasn’t it Kermie?”
“Words fail me.” He took an unsteady breath. “So, um, you’ve been, er ordained, and everything? Papers all in order, legal in this city, that sort of thing?”
“Heheh, yes, well, of course. You have nothing to worry about on that score.” He made a quick gesture, blessing them. “I wish all happiness for the both of you as you start your new lives together. Remember, as long as you rely on each other, troubles will never overcome you.”
Piggy looked so enraptured that Kermit snuck a quick glance to see if her feet were actually touching the ground. “We’ll remember, thank you so much.”
Another pastoral smile and the man was gone.
Kermit had had enough of interruptions. With a strength that surprised both of them, he dragged Piggy off the set and into his trailer, trying desperately not to hear the catcalls that followed them, trying in vain not to see Piggy’s impish acknowledgements of the attention.
Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not kill.
He pushed her down on the couch, not actually generating enough force to do it, but Piggy was apparently contented enough to comply. She folded her hands daintily on her lap, and looked into his eyes with naked adoration, the very picture of a happy bride.
My bride… My wife! Oh, geez….
“I… you! What…? So… Who-? I! You!” He threw up his arms in exasperation and started pacing frantically. Piggy would have raised her eyebrows if she’d only had them. Instead, she gazed at him innocently, giving no hint of what was going on behind those striking eyes.
“What do you have to say for yourself?!” There. Finally, he’d managed a lucid sentence.
She smiled brightly at him, looking as though she felt that was unwise, but unable to control herself. “It’s been a very, very good day… for moi’s self.”
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